Parental Guardian
by Welcome2MyWorldxoxo
Summary: He was my forbidden fruit. A man so close, almost too close, yet so far out of reach. He loved me, took care of me, but did not crave me the same way I did him. I wanted everything, yet had nothing. But things were going to change. I could feel it.
1. Simple

**AN: Sorry it took so long to get this out. There was a lot of organizing and ideas that had to be sorted out before I could post this. This starts before the whole incident and works its way up to it and to my excellent Beta Nails233 and to my partner in crime Spunkransom101.**

Summary: "Ever had a fantasy about a Father figure? Possibly your own? I have and still do. Ten years older than me and still sexy. Fell in love. Legal? No. Amazing? Yes. Now its time to pull it together and make him fall in love back. Collaborated with SpunkRansom101. ExB Mature.

**Chapter 1**

**Simple**

Simple. That was never a word I would use to associate with my life. I'm not saying that my life was or is hard. I'm just saying it has never been exactly simple or easy. There has always been these small things that make it complicated.

I can't really complain about it though because I've got it good compared to some teenagers. I mean with all the pregnancies, the STD'S, the drug and alcohol and drug addictions my problems seem like a walk in the park. But I'm kind of getting off the subject here so I guess I should start you off at the beginning of my story...

I grew up in Jacksonville, Florida with my crazy, wild, alcoholic mother, Renee, and her husband/ toy boy/ minor league baseball player, Phil. My dad died when I was just a baby and the only thing I knew about him was that I looked and acted like him... a little too much apparently.

My mother spent her days lying around the house drinking, crying, shouting, screaming at me, hitting me, or even throwing things at me. She never quite got over my dad's death and seeing as I was the closest thing she had to him I took the brunt of her hurt and frustration.

I also think that the fact that Phil was always away traveling, leaving my mother had to stay behind and look after me caused some of the resentment, which she directed towards me.

I spent the first eight years of my life tiptoeing around her. I did all the housework, the cleaning, the cooking, everything. I learnt to not only look after myself, but to look after her. I was always afraid that one day she was just going to stop breathing in her sleep or that she would choke on her own bile after passing out and I would lose her.

She may have hurt me and broke me. She may have made me withdrawn and irrationally scared of people, but at the end of the day she was still my mother and I loved her. She was all I had.

When I was nine my mother disappeared. Just got up and left me behind. I sat in our dingy apartment for three days waiting for her to come back, but she never did. My school informed the state of my absence and I found myself in a foster home the next day.

I hated it.

I got picked on for being quiet and strange. Even at such a young age I had a love for literature. It was there I learned not to trust anyone. Everyone was just out to get what they wanted and they would use anyone they could to do it. It reminded me of a line from a book I had read once. It went:

_Nobody cares about anyone in this world; we all just use each other in one way or another. To feel good. To feel bad. To feel nothing at all. The lucky one's are real good at it. The rest of us just take what we can get._

I didn't use people though I used my books. They told me of a life full of colors and of people who fought against fate to get the one thing everyone wants, the thing that I had thought I had but it had always eluded me.

Love.

When I was ten Tanya, my caretaker, found a couple that were looking to adopt a child. Tanya thought I would be perfect for them. She did my hair in pigtails and I wore a light blue dress that itched. I can still remember the day I first saw Carlisle and Esme sitting in the office.

I had been so scared to meet them. Even if they wanted me now they would end up leaving me in the end. It was how everyone was. But the more I looked at them the more I saw something. The way they laughed around each other, the way they were happy and playful. I watched them in awe. They had what I wanted. What I longed for. They mesmerized me.

It wasn't long before I found myself living in their three-story mansion. I'm not saying that by just having a family and living in a nice house all my problems magically went away. Everyone knows that it doesn't work like that. I spent the first few months on edge, waiting for the other boot to drop and for them to get angry with me and hit me. I sometimes woke up screaming in the night thinking that they were dead or had left me. The amount of nights that I spent in their bed was too many to count.

It was through all this that I eventually learnt to trust them. That I realized that not everyone has a secret agenda and are waiting to jump out at you when you least expect it. It was at that point that they introduced me to Edward.

Edward Anthony Cullen.

He was named after Esme's father who died the year Edward was born.

The day I met him was the day my life turned around on its axis. I remember every single detail of the day we met.

I had been upstairs in my room reading on my window seat when I saw his car pull up. I remember how nervous I was to meet the son that Esme talked so fondly about. It was clear that they both adored him. The first time I saw him I was standing behind Esme's leg peering at him from around her.

Even at the age of ten I thought he was the most beautiful man I had ever seen. Nevertheless, he still scared me. I stayed hidden behind Esme until Carlisle came out of his office and then I went back into my room. My heart was hammering and I felt so giddy and happy. I don't know how long I sat in my room just thinking about him before I heard the soft notes of the baby grand downstairs.

Without even noticing it I found myself drawn downstairs by it. I stood in the living room staring at Edward's back as he played. His head was bent and he seemed to be concentrating really hard. I moved closer and noticed that his eyes were closed. Somehow I ended up sitting on the piano bench next to him and watching his fingers dance around the keys.

I was mesmerized by how quickly they moved up and down. They did not falter once in their journey to the big finish. He finished the song and looked over at me and grinned, "Hello Bella." He murmured and that was it. I was a goner. I never really had a chance when it came to Edward. He was an irrevocable part of my life from those words until now.

OOooOOooOO

"Bella." I was jolted out of my thoughts by Alice hissing at me. I glanced over at her. We were currently in our history class and Mr. Whitlock was talking about the American Civil War. The day I first met Alice was when I was sixteen. She was the kind, bubbly girl who introduced me to everyone and made sure I got to the right classes. I think that really brought us together was our obsession with older men who were so far out of out reach - a fact that refused to hinder Alice in her quest to seduce our teacher. Alice shoved a note over to me and I looked down at it.

_Don't you think the shirt Mr. Whitlock is wearing brings out the color of his eyes? _

If I wasn't as obsessed with Edward as she was over Mr. Whitlock I would have scoffed and rolled my eyes. I looked up at him and looked him over. He was wearing a pair of expensive looking jeans and a light blue shirt the same color of his eyes. I shrugged andwrote back to Alice.

_Yeah it does._

I pushed it back over to her and looked straight ahead trying to actually concentrate. I was just hoping that Alice had taken notes for this class otherwise I would have to ask Jessica and she would just want to come over to my house to ogle Edward and that was my job.

Alice shoved the note back to me.

_YEAH IT DOES? Honey, if this was Edward you would be drooling like a fourteen-year-old boy watching porn for the first time._

I rolled my eyes at that. It was a sure exaggeration. I would not be drooling. Okay - maybe mentally.

_I WOULD NOT! What do you want me to say anyway? That the ice blue of his shirt makes his eyes look like the sky on a warm day?_

I shoved the note on her desk defiantly. She read and grinned before scribbling down on it.

"Miss Swan?" My head shot to the front where Mr. Whitlock was looking at me expectantly. Fuck, he'd obviously asked a question. "Um…Oh, it's on the tip of my tongue." I said desperately trying to figure out what the question was. I looked hopelessly at the board, but I doubted it was anything from there.

He rolled his eyes, "Miss Swan do you even know what the question was?" I blushed ten shades of red as people snickered around me. Even Mr. Whitlock looked slightly amused.

"The Battle of Gettysburg was fought on July 1-3 in Gettysburg, Pennsylvania." Alice said calmly saving my ass from more potential embarrassment.

Mr. Whitlock looked over at her and straightened up, "Um...Thank you Miss Brandon." He looked at her for a second longer before going back to the front of the class. I mouthed a thank you to Alice and she just grinned and winked.

Sometimes I wished I had the ability to do five things at once like Alice. I swear the girl could the first female president and not bat an eyelash at all the things going on around her.

Just then the bell rang signaling the end of the class and I collected my books and stood up falling in line with Alice.

"Want to skip the rest of the day and head down to Port Angeles for a bit of retail therapy?" Alice asked as we pushed through the crowds to our lockers.

I rolled my eyes, "Alice, unlike you I actually have to work to keep my A- average. I'll fall behind if I skip." She shoved her books into her locker and checked herself out in the mirror stuck to her locker door.

"Bella, I wouldn't have suggested it if I wasn't going to come over tonight with all our assignments and help you. Plus you need to buy a new pair of shoes and a bag at least."

She slammed her locker closed and shoved some lip-gloss into a bag she had just pulled out.

She gave me her big eyes and pouted. "Please Bella, I'll let you ramble on about how hot and gorgeous and all around fabulous Edward is." I chewed my lip contemplating her offer.

"I don't know Alice..." I murmured uncertainly. She made her lip wobble and tears come to her eyes - a trick she uses when she wants something, it's irresistible, "But…Bella, you never come shopping with me."

I sighed and rolled my eyes, "Fine, but I get to gush like a ten year old girl who has just seen Justin Bieber shirtless about Edward."

She grinned and stuck her hand out. "Done. Why don't we have a comparing competition? Your guy against mine." I grinned and took her hand, "But Ali, I don't want you to dump Mr. Whitlock when you find out just how irresistible Edward is."

She snorted, "Keep dreaming sister. Keep dreaming."

**AN: And there you have it! The first chapter. Review and tell me how I did.**

**You can find me on Twitter as GeekLover99**


	2. Drifting

**AN: Just to clarify for you people, this story starts off before her eighteenth birthday and works up to the bid day. Thanks to my beta Nails233 for getting this to me in the nick of time to post it today. **

**You guys rock! Over thiry reviews for one chapter!Keep it up!**

**Warning: This chapter includes scenes of abuse, verbal and physical, and starts off as a memory from when Bella was nine before going back to the present.**

Drifting

_I was sitting in the kitchen underneath the table playing with my doll and singing to myself softly under my breath. _

_"Isabella!" Her high-pitched shriek sounded from the living room and the doll dropped out of my hands as my chest constricted. "Isabella!" She shrieked again and I momentarily closed my eyes and wished that this was all a bad dream. I heard a crash from the other room and I scrambled out from under the table. Running as fast as I could I went into the living room where she was now lying on the floor curses leaving her bruised lips. She looked up at me when I came in and sneered, "Well look who decided to finally show up."_

__

I stood frozen in the doorway my body waging a war inside me. One side told me not to go any further as it would only lead to me getting hurt, but the other side argued that she was my mother and that she needed my help.

"Are you just going to stand there you ungrateful little bitch, or are you going to help me up?" she hissed. I walked slowly towards her watching her bloodshot eyes bore into me, pure contempt radiating off her body almost blocking out the stench of sick from the room.

____

I stopped right in front of her, ignoring the feel of dirt from the carpet brushing against my bare feet. My hand shook as I extended it out to her. Her cold, clammy hand wrapped around my wrist and she yanked hard almost causing me to fall over. Pain shot through me, but I just bit my lip and let her use me as a means to get up.

__

She released my hand and I cradled it in arms. I was so caught up holding my arm that I did not register that she had raised her hand and slapped me around the face. I fell down backwards on my bum with a gasp and clutched my hands to my face. My face stung and shut my eyes quickly so that she could not see the tears forming in them. There was no need to give her ammunition in her plight to taunt me.

__

"Next time I call you, you come right away," she hissed and I heard her footsteps disappear.

I opened my eyes slowly as a small sob left my lips. I crawled behind the couch knowing that she would not look for me there. I silently wished that I had my doll with me or at least something to hold close to give some sort of comfort. I sunk my teeth into my lip harshly and was not too surprised to feel blood seep onto my tongue. This wasn't the first time that something like this had happened.

__

It was not long before I heard her re-enter the room. I stiffened as she went around picking things up, she never normally did this, it was my job. The clanking of bottles resounded around the room and I forced myself to move further into the dark space, squeezing myself between the wall and the couch.

__

Suddenly all the noises stopped and I saw a shadow above me. My heart hammered in fear as I looked up and saw her staring down at me, but instead of the usual malice that her expression held, all there was written on her face was pain.

__

"Goodbye Isabella," she murmured and disappeared. A minute later, I heard the door close and silence filtered into the apartment. I waited for another minute just to be sure that she was gone before crawling out from behind the couch.

I sat in the middle of the living room floor and just stared in front of me at the blank TV. I wasn't allowed to touch it unless I was asked to switch it on. I wiped my arm across my nose, collecting all the snot and stray tears on it, and brought my knees up to my chest. I rested my head on them and wondered for a second if I should fetch my doll from the kitchen. I decided not to, knowing that I did not have the strength to move right now.

I just wanted to sit here and let my mind drift to all the colorful, wonderful things that my mind could conjure up.

__

I wasn't sure for how long I sat there drifting off into space, but when I came round I was still sitting in the same place, it was dark and cold. My breathing came out in quick spurts I hated the dark.

I scrambled up onto my feet and walked around the dark apartment flicking on light switches, none of them worked. This was not the first she had forgotten to pay the electricity bill. I chewed on my lip furiously trying to work out where she was.

__

She never stayed out for this long. Generally, the only reason she left the house was to get more alcohol and she got that at the shop on the corner. My stomach rumbled and I stumbled my way through the dark apartment and into the kitchen. Knowing that the stove would not work I fished around in the kitchen using the light coming in from outside and found an old packet of crackers.

I got myself a cup of water and took it - with the crackers - under the table, where my doll laid right where I had dropped her earlier. I placed her in my lap and hummed quietly to myself as I ate and drank.

Once done I crawled back into the living room and curled up on the couch with a thin blanket over me. I knew that by morning, she would be back and she would sort out the bills and everything would go back to normal.

__

I drifted in out of sleep fitfully, my dreams full of screaming, pain and darkness. When I opened my eyes to see the morning light, I was filled with a sudden sense of loneliness. I could tell she wasn't back and I curled up tighter and closed my eyes again.

__

Every part of my body felt like a lead weight and I didn't even bother trying to get up, hungry or not. My throat was parched and my eyes felt sore.

__

Day and night blended together and every time my eyes opened and I saw that she still wasn't there I would tell myself that she got held up and that she would come for me soon. That she had not gotten up and left me behind, that I should stay here and wait for her so that I would not miss her.

She was all I had and now she was gone. The packet of crackers ran out after the second day and I could not find anything else that wasn't molding or gross.

__

So - I drifted, waiting, expecting her to show up at any moment and shout or scream at me. After the second night, I was not even sure if I was waiting or dreading for her to coming back. The apartment was getting messy and I hadn't cleaned or cooked anything, surely that would merit punishment?

It was when I was drifting that I heard it. Someone calling her name through the door, banging on it, ordering her to open it. I cowered away from it and slammed my eyes shut again, "It's all a dream," I told myself. "This wasn't actually happening. Soon I would wake up and find myself curled up in the corner sore and tired.

__

Suddenly there was a crash and I screamed, then everything went black.

I shot up in my bed gasping for air. My heart was beating a hundred miles an hour and it rang in my ears blocking out any other noise. Sweat drenched my pajamas and made them cling to me. A small sob escaped me and I dug my nails into my hair. I closed my eyes and forced myself to breathe, to calm down.

"It was just a dream. It's over now." I whispered to myself. I had not thought of my time before I was taken to the foster home for quite a while. These dreams had become less and less frequent the more I let myself be open and stopped trying to hide behind my past.

A tear slipped down my cheek and I opened my eyes again. Darkness was all I could see and panic started to form in my chest. Darkness was always a sign of loneliness to me. A sign that I was alone and that everyone had gone.

I stumbled out of bed into the hall. Forcing myself to breathe and not to think about being alone I made my way into the main bedroom. I hesitated slightly with my hand centimeters from the door before slowly pushing it open. Edward lay there on his back, the sheets lying comfortably around his waist. He looked so peaceful that I didn't dare disturb him.

I went over to the chair in the corner and made myself comfortable in it. I took the blanket resting on the back of it and wrapped it around me. This wasn't the first time that I had opted to spend the night sitting in this chair forcing myself not fall back asleep knowing that without physical contact that the dreams would come back again.

I looked over at Edward and sighed as I leaned my head on my knees. I wished that the peacefulness that I saw on his face would one day be mine to have. I relaxed back into the chair and let my mind drift. It was still strange to me even after nearly three years that Carlisle and Esme were gone.

The house was so empty without their presence. Carlisle's watchful eye from his armchair and Esme's beautiful smile that stayed on her face no matter what.

It still hurt to think of them as dead. Two people so kind-hearted and loving should have been able to live. Why couldn't someone mean or evil die instead? These kinds of questions plagued me constantly. I knew asking myself questions that I knew no one had the answer to was a waste of time, but it did not stop them from circling my brain.

I was blessed that Edward had taken me in and looked after me. I mean what kind of twenty-four year old wanted the responsibility of looking after a fifteen-year-old girl? My heart warmed thinking of how selfless he was, if only he would look at me, and I mean really look at me, and see what was right in front of his eyes.

I mean he didn't have much of a dating history since I have been with him and even before that, he was always around on weekends. Since the age of thirteen, he had been a constant rock for me while Esme had looked after Carlisle.

Sure, he had dated here and there, but it never lasted because of his demanding job at the hospital and having a seventeen-year-old girl living with you was not exactly a turn on for most women.

If he would only look at me, and I mean really look at me, and see what was waiting for him right in front of his eyes. I sighed knowing that he only saw me as a little sister or god forbid a daughter. I scrunched my nose up at that not wanting to have that imagery.

How do you get a man who is nine years older than you, to really take a good look and not think of you as a daughter? Fuck if I know. It was times like this that I really needed Alice.

Her constant optimism could make a suicidal person become a priest! Yeah, she was that good.

I was so deep in thought, thinking of the 'what ifs' and the 'maybes' that I didn't notice that he had woken up until he spoke.

"Hey," he murmured sleep still apparent in his voice.

I looked up startled and blushed slightly. "Hey," I whispered. He cocked his head to the right and lazily patted the bed beside him. My heart surged with happiness and I uncurled myself from my position in the chair and slid into the bed next to him.

He wrapped an arm around my waist and pulled me towards him. I placed my face on his chest and inhaled his scent as I let his warmth seep into my skin.

"You okay?" he asked quietly, knowing that the only reason I would come here was that I either had a bad dream or I didn't want to be alone.

I nodded blinking back the tears that came with the remembrance of my dream. "I am now," I whispered.

He let it go, as I knew he would. He never pushed me to say what I did not want to and that was one of the things I liked about him. He did not push or force me to speak when I didn't want to. He just let me be myself and accepted me, faults and all.

With that happy realization, I let myself drift off to sleep knowing that it would be peaceful.

**AN: Slightly angsty I know, but you kind of have to go inside Bella's mind and see why she's kind of closed off. Review guys and tell me how I did!**


	3. Worth It?

**AN: Thank you guys for all your great feedback! You rock so hard! I have had some trouble sorting out this story and I nearly posted the wrong chapter- which I thought earlier was the right chapter- and so this chapter is unbeta'd because I doubt you guys want to wait a week for another chapter.**

Worth it?

I sighed in relief as the hot spray of the shower hit me and relaxed my tired muscles. It had been a long day and gym had been particularly brutal- most likely because I had to participate. All I could say was TGIF (Thank God it's Friday).

The house was completely empty as Edward was working a double shift down at the hospital and Alice had dissapeared after school instead of coming over like she usually did. I had texted her, but had gotten no reply.

I closed my eyes and let my head fall back letting the water spill onto my face. I raked a hand through my hair and grimaced as I felt the grime collecting there. I groped blindly for my shampoo bottle and after nearly slipping over I managed to grab it.

I squirted a good amount on my hands and rubbed it vigorously into my hair before washing it out.

The duclet tones of Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata flooded the bathroom and I hummed along contentedly as I put conditioner in my hair. Out of all the classical music we had in the house Moonlight Sonata was one of my favorites to listen to.

There was something about that instantly relaxed me. I loved to close my eyes and just imagine what he wanted us to imagine through his song.

Whenever I thought of it I always saw a couple in a meadow embracing intimately as their feet moved gracefully in circles. The woman would be wearing a dark blue- almost black- flowing silk dress and the man would be clad in a tux.

The moon would be illuminating their moment and it would the only thing exposing such an intimate moment. The image was so vivid in my mind that I could not do anything, but let a smile cross my face.

It was so easy to imagine me and Edward in such a position. Our eyes locked in a heated battle of desire. His piercing eyes burning into mine. I shivered at the thought. I could practically feel his eyes running down my skin just thinking about it.

I wondered what his thoughts would be if he ever saw me naked. I wiped the steam off the shower door and looked into mirror above the sink that was straight in front of me. There was nothing spectacular about my body. Too small breast, flat stomach, small- practically non-existant- hips, flabby thighs, and knobbly knees.

Really it was no wonder that I never let myself get past second base and there had been no revealing of girls then anyway otherwise I'm sure there would have been some dissapointment.

I sighed and wondered, probaby for the millionth time, why I still tried to get Edward's attention. I mean, he clearly didn't have any feelings towards me and I was wasting my time dreaming about something that was most likely to never happen.

I rinsed all the conditioner out of my hair and switched the shower off before stepping out of it. I grabbed one of the big, fluffy towels hanging up and wrapped it around my body. I took another, smaller, towel and wrapped my hair up in it and stepped out the bathroom.

I was thankful that my room had an en suite because even though there was no one around, the walk from the hall to room was drafty. I padded across the soft, carpeted floor to my closet, but just as I was about to open it I heard someone clear their throat behind me.

I spun round my heart leaping into my throat. To say I was pleased to see Alice instead of some random burglar was an understatement.

"Alice!" I shrieked. "What are you doing here?" I pulled the towel closer up around myself suddenly aware of just how little I was wearing. I noticed that the usual chirpy, exited Alice was nowhere to be found and in her place was a sad looking, subdued version.

"I had detention." She said simply and went over to sit on my bed. She pulled her knees up to her chest looking on the verge of crying. Obviously something really bad had happened because it took a lot to make Alice cry.

"Did someone run over Mr. Jack?" I asked concerned. Mr. Jack was Alice's little pug dog that meant the world to her. In my opinion he was the ugliest, annoying little thing ever. He didn't like any one accept for Alice and he put up with me because Alice liked me, but I swear every time I come over he gives me evil looks.

She opened her mouth to answer, but I held up my hand. "Could I get changed first?" I asked because it looked like whatever she was going to say was going to take some time and I wanted to be dressed for it. She nodded and I darted into my closet and dressed quickly in a pair of sweats and a plain, white t-shirt.

I came and sat next to where she was now lying on her back.

"So, whats up?" I asked. She let out a long sigh.

"Do you ever get the feeling that the only reason we are chasing men that are over five years older than us is because they are unattainable?" I thought about it for a second. It was possible.

I shrugged, "Maybe."

She sat up, "I mean, are what we have just stupid high school crushes or is there something more to it? I've tried to get over Jasper by dating other guys, but it always comes back to him somehow or another. Edward and Jasper are so far out of our reach yet we keep trying to reach out for them. Is it really worth it?"

I noticed a small tear trickle down the side of her face and I sighed, "What brought this on?" I asked because it was generally me who was saying that and she would be the one reassuring me.

"Jasper's dating the new librarian, Maria." She muttered. "He looked so fucking happy with her. Why can't he be happy with me? Why doesn't he notice me?" Her lip trembled and I knew it was taking a lot out of her to stop herself from full out sobbing.

"She came into detention and just kissed him, there and then." Her face flushed with indignant anger. "Do you know how it feels see something like that shoved in your face? It was like someone had stabbed me right through the heart with a knife."

I grimaced because I did know how it felt. While I had said earlier that Edward didn't date much, there had been times when I had seen him and his girlfriend locked in a heated kiss.

There is really no good way of explaining how it feels when you see someone you love with someone else. It's like someone cut out your heart stabbed and sewed it back into your chest, while someone else uses your lungs as a trampoline.

That brang us back to the main matter at hand. Was what both me and Alice had, true love or just a stupid crush? There was really only one way to really see the truth.

"How do you see your life in five years?" I asked. She sighed, "Well, by then I hope to have my own personal shopper business up and running. Married with maybe one kid. Something like that. Why?"

I shrugged, "Do you see Jasper in it?" She gave me a look that suggested that I was either retarded or a complete idiot. "Who do you think I'm married to?" She demanded, "He'll be a college professor because I refuse to be stuck living in this town for the rest of my life and seeing that he can cook I think we would be pretty set."

I frowned, "How do you know he cook?" I asked. She smiled sheepishly. "I asked him." I stared at her for a second in shock, "Do you mean to tell me you just went up to him and asked if he could cook." She looked defensive, "Hey, unlike you I don't live with Jasper so I don't what he's good at."

I could see her point there.

"Where do you see yourself when your all old and wrinkly?" I asked. She frowned. "Umm...I don't know. Probably playing poker at an old people's home. Maybe in Texas because that's where Jasper is orriginally from. Plus it's good for tanning."

I grinned, "See you have it all worked out. Why would you bother to work out your life with him if you didn't think it was worth it. I mean you are Mary Alice Brandon. You don't take no for an answer. Pardon my French, but fuck that bitch. She isn't even half the woman you are. Keep going for gold and I swear to you, you will not regret it."

She sniffed and wiped her nose on the back of her hand, "You think so?" She said uncertainly. I snorted, "I know so."

A grin spread across her face slowly, "You're right." She paused for a second before asking. "So, what is this crap you're listening to?" I frowned and listened to Claire Du Lune waft through the speakers.

I shrugged, "Classical music is relaxing." She gave me an incredulous look. "If you're a forty year old accountant maybe." She said and I smacked her arm annoyed.

"Its good music." I said defending it. She grinned, "Would you like a glass of 2005 chardonnay or is your arthritis kicking in?" I rolled my eyes and went over to my desk where the remote was and switched the music off.

"Happy?" I asked. She shrugged, "I'm getting there." I rolled my eyes and flopped down on the bed next to her. I sighed, "I meant what I said." I said quietly, "You are twice the woman that an of Jasper's girlfriends could ever be and to top it off, you are the bestest friend a girl could as for."

"Bestest isn't a word." She said grinning. I stuck my tongue out at her. "Like you care. Now I don't know about you, but I could use some ice cream and homeade cookie dough."

She nodded, "They will go perfectly with the movie." I groaned, "You know if I didn't like Ewan Mcgregor's voice so much I would have destroyed every copy known to man of that movie, right?"

Alice rolled her eyes, "Stop being so dramatic...that's my job." We laughed at that and I thought back to the question that I had asked Alice, where did I see myself in five years?

I had always pictured myself in some densely hot country, writing away my novel on a laptop, while Edward visited the villages and helped all the sick people- he had always wanted to do some voluntary work in some impoverised country. Maybe we would have a kid, but maybe not. I couldn't honestly choose or know what the future held for me. It was the desicions I made and had yet to make that would determine that.

All I knew is that in five years I wanted to be happy...and in love.

**AN: There we have it. Some in depths thinking time. Usually I'm a less talking more smut kind of gal, but this story has a journey to take before that happens. Review and tell me how I did!**


	4. Wanted

**AN: You guys rock with your great reviews! This chapter is slightly sad, but it's a slight turning point in the story.**

Wanted?

_"You are going to look beautiful." Miss Tanya cooed as she ran a brush through my hair. It was a Saturday morning and I was going to meet a couple that wanted to adopt a child. I wasn't very hopeful about it. I had gone through this for months now and it seemed obvious to only me that no one actually wanted me._

_"You have such lovely hair, did you know that?" She said as brushed a knot out of my hair. I winced at the burn in my scalp, but otherwise stayed silent. If I had a choice I would be reading right now so I wouldn't have to think about the look on the prospective parents face when they saw me and decided that I just wasn't what they were looking for. But I found it hard to concentrate when me head was being yanked left and right._

_I sighed as she finished and tied my hair up in a blue ribbon. "There we go." She said sounding proud of herself. She gave my hair one last pat before standing up with a beam on her face. "How are you feeling?" She asked her podgy face flushed._

_I shrugged and looked down at my lap where my doll sat. She was the only thing I had from my mother. Another person who didn't want me. When they found me they had taken me to the hospital because I was sick and had something that meant that I wasn't eating properly._

_I fingered the dolls hair and wondered when this would all end and they would finally give up on me._

_"Oh, come on Bella, this is a big day for you!" She sounded so cheery and hopeful that I forced myself to smile. "I'm fine." I said quietly. She seemed pleased with this response and tugged gently on my arm for me to stand up._

_"Why don't you wear that nice dress that you got the other week?" I stayed silent not wanting to sound ungrateful by saying that I hated dresses. She paused slightly and sighed._

_"Bella, I know that its been hard for you here, but this is a chance to get out and have a better life. So please try, if not for me, then for you." I nodded slowly and stood up from my position on my small bed in the corner of the room._

_The rest of the girls, which stayed in this room, were outside enjoying the weather. I didn't like the heat it made me sweaty. I took the dress that was in Miss Tanya's hands and stripped off my nightie. I pulled on the dress and Miss Tanya did up all the little buttons at the back._

_"There we go." She said. "Now you look like one of those princess's you're always reading about." She said it so sincerely that I couldn't help but smile toothily at her._

_"Really?" I asked turning this way and that, trying to look at myself from all angles._

_"I wouldn't have said it if I didn't believe it was true." Sh said matter of factly._

_Suddenly there was a knock on the door and Irina, the woman who ran the foster home, opened the door._

_"They're here." She said. Miss Irina was known for being very strict and was the complete opposite of Miss Tanya. While Miss Tanya always seemed to be laughing and smiling, Miss Irina always seemed to frowned or scowling._

_Miss Tanya clapped her hands in excitement and did a little jump._

_"Come on dear, let's knock them off their socks." She said while taking my hand and pulling me out of the room. As the door to the visitor's lounge grew closer the familiar sense of dread fell over me._

_Would this be usual disappointed gazes and awkward chatter?_

_Miss Tanya opened the door and I felt like everything was going in slow motion. My heart pounded heavily in my chest and my teeth bit harshly into the skin of my lip. Miss Irina said that biting my lip was a bad habit, but it helped me channel my nerves._

_We stepped into the room and the first thing I noticed was the couple sitting there. Their bodies were close together almost touching and their hands were clasped in each other's._

_They had this strange light dancing in their eyes and when they saw me smiles appeared on their faces. I immediately tried to hide behind Miss Tanya, but she held my hand tightly and pushed me forwards slightly._

_"Hello, you must be Mr and Mrs. Cullen." They nodded. The tall blonde man smiled easily, "Please call me Carlisle and this is my wife Esme." The auburn haired woman, Esme, smiled and tried to peer at me from where I was half hiding at Miss Tanya's side._

_Miss Tanya moved out of the way, removing my hiding place, and stood behind me with her hands on my shoulders._

_"This is Isabella, as you can see she's a little bit shy." She chuckled like she was telling some funny joke and urged forwards. "Say hello Bella." She ordered gently._

_I looked down at my feet and muttered, "Hello."_

_I saw a hand come into my view line and I looked up surprised. "Hello Bella, I'm Esme." My hand shook slightly as I shook her hand and she smiled even wider and shared a look with her husband that could only descried as excitement and love._

_They seemed so attuned to each other and happy that I couldn't help wish that they would adopt me and take me away to their home._

_The next few weeks went by quickly with a few more visits from the Cullen's. Miss Tanya said that they were very interested in adopting me and were trying to sort out the paperwork. I wasn't what they had to do because I was never there when they sorted out the arrangements that gave me passage to live with them, but I do remember the day Esme asked me if I wanted to become part of their family._

_It was the day my life changed forever. An unknown feeling welled up inside me. Here was a couple who actually wanted me so much they actually went to the trouble of going through the paperwork and whatever they had to do to get me. I had said yes. _

_The day I walked out of that foster home was one of the best days of my life. I had my hand in Esme on one side and Carlisle's on the other. It was hot, but for once I didn't mind. I was finally part of a family again._

We stood together, our hands clasped together as the rain fell, hitting the big, black umbrella. We were silent as we stared at cold, grey headstone. My teeth were firmly imbedded into lip as I tried to reign in my emotions. Three years. That's how long it had been since I had last seen them. Since they had last been alive

The words carved into the stone didn't do them justice. _Loving parents and partners._

It was such an understatement. They had not just been good parents to Edward and me. They had made me feel so welcome and didn't mind when I messed up. They made me feel so wanted and loved. They had been such part of the community, always giving and never taking.

Every year I saw their grave littered with flowers and notes from people showing their respect. If it weren't for them I would still be in a foster home or with some family in Florida. They had saved and protected me. I squeezed Edward's hand, but his gaze stayed stuck to their grave.

We always came together to visit their grave and I knew it was hard for him. He would just stand there and stare at their grave having a silent conversation for half an hour before leaving and locking himself up in his study for the rest of the day. Edward liked to keep his emotions to himself, not wanting others to bear his cross.

I shivered at the cold wind whipping around us and moved closer to him. I nuzzled my head into his side ignoring the damp fabric of his coat. A tear slipped down my face and the pain that I had been trying to crush exploded and I started sobbing.

He let go of my hand and I felt physically burned from the loss of contact. He wrapped his arms around me and drew into his chest. He leaned his chin on the top of my head and held me tightly.

"They would have been so proud of you Bella." He whispered and I fisted my hands into his coat and burrowed my head further into his chest. I closed my eyes and thought back to the week before the accident.

We had all been so happy. Carlisle had been sitting in his favorite armchair helping with my math homework. His quiet, gravely, patient voice had always helped me understand even the most complicated things. Esme had come in and leant against the doorframe still wearing her apron and oven gloves. She had told us it was time to eat and while we usually ate in the huge dining room, that night we had sat around Carlisle's chair.

We had talked about our day. I can still remember the sparkle in Carlisle's eyes as he talked about how well Edward was doing at the hospital. Carlisle was so proud of Edward following in his footsteps and becoming a doctor and even though -because of his stroke- he could no longer be one himself he still contributed his years of medicine to the community.

It wasn't often that you didn't find Carlisle down at the local community center directing classes for CPR or helping conduct meetings for expecting mothers. You could hardly tell that he had even had a stroke; only his slightly shaking hands and the age written on his face gave him away.

What I loved most was that when we were together none of our problems mattered. Not the fact that Esme couldn't have any more children or the fact that I had abandonment issues. It was at times like this that showed we were a proper family. We didn't care about our flaws or our imperfections. We were who we were and as a family we accepted each other.

I remember that every time Edward came over Esme would ask him when he would a nice girl to settle down with and give her grandchildren. He would always look at her bashfully and say that he was too young to settle just yet and that she would get her grandkids in a few years.

Its strange how we map out our lives. We try so hard to direct our paths even though we have barely any control over which way the wind takes us. We can only dream and hope that it is the path that we were meant to take.

At the end of the day the only thing we actually want is to be loved, to be accepted for whom we are, to be wanted.

I pulled back from Edward and placed his face between my hands. "It's not just me that they are proud of Edward. I know that if they could see us that they would be proud of both of us, not just me." He dropped his eyes as I saw tears form in them.

"It's okay to cry." I murmured, pressing my cold, wet cheek against his. I closed my eyes and gripped him around his waist harder. "It's okay to miss them." As the words left my lips I suddenly felt exhausted. I had so many emotions locked behind my chest trying to force their way out. It was a struggle to keep them hidden.

I wanted to so badly tell Edward how I felt. I wanted to tell him that I loved him and that I would never leave him, but if I was honest I was scared. Scared of rejection, scared that he thought that I was crazy for even thinking like this.

Edwards swallowed and his body shook slightly as I felt tears run down his face and hit my cheek. "I miss them so much." He whispered brokenly. Tears had started to slip down my cheeks again and I nodded.

"They were the only parents I knew." I murmured sadly. He pulled back and we stared into each other's eyes. "We have each other Bella. We aren't alone." He whispered. I nodded and he kissed my forehead causing me to shiver.

"Come on, let's get you out of this cold weather."

I felt like in that moment that things had shifted between us. That lines that separated us, that had indirectly held me back were slowly disappearing and I knew soon that we would be in the place that I wanted. I just hoped he wanted it too.

**AN: ...And there you have it. I have participated in Breath-of-Twilight's Halloween countdown, which will start on the first of October. Here is the link: http:/www(.)fanfiction(.)net/s/6326403/1/Countdown_to_Halloween_II_One_Haunted_Hallows_Eve**


	5. Game Plan

**AN: Sorry that there was no chapter last week. It was Sukkoth and we were really busy, plus I got sick and threw up three times in the same hour. Yeah it was just lovely. Anyway thanks for all the great reviews guys!**

Game Plan.

"Bella." I groaned and turned away from the voice that was invaded my dream. "Bella." The voice coaxed again as I felt cold air hit my skin. I whimpered and reached blindly for the covers that were being dragged slowly down my body. My hands came up with empty air and I peeled one eye open to see where it had gone.

It was piled at the bottom of the bed with a very shirtless Edward grinning down at me.

I groaned and yanked a pillow over my head. "I don't want to get up." I muttered curling up into a ball. He chuckled and plucked the pillow out of my grasp. I felt the bed move as he stood up and I peeked up at him.

I swallowed heavily at what I saw. At some point during the night his sleep pants had ridden down exposing the 'v' of his hips. The dusky hair of his happy trail disappeared down beneath it and I briefly wondered how big he was...you know down there.

I dragged my eyes away quickly and let my eyes trail up his chest; while there were muscles it was still lean. He had his arms crossed over his chest and I forced my eyes to meet his. It seemed as though time stood still for a split second before he looked away.

"You need to get up now if you want a ride to school."

I sighed as I flopped back down on the bed.

"School sucks." I muttered and Edward chuckled again. "Get up. If you aren't up by the time I get out of my shower you are going to have to walk to school." I groaned and sat up with a scowl.

"Happy." I asked petulantly and he just shook his head with a grin. He turned away with one hand running through his hair as he walked into the bathroom.

I wished I could run my hands through his hair.

I sighed and pushed myself up off the bed before padding down the hall to my room. I went straight to my bathroom and grimaced as I looked at myself in the mirror. My hair was all over the place and I looked half asleep.

"Really pretty Bella." I muttered to myself before switching the shower on. I yanking my tank top over my head causing my nipple to pebble with the change of temperature and pushed my pyjama bottoms and panties down onto the floor.

I yawned and stretched my arms over my head as I waited for the water to heat up. I grabbed my toothbrush off its stand and after putting some toothpaste on I vigorously brushed my teeth. If there was something I hated more than going to therapy, it was having any sort of person or drill near my teeth. I was fiercely protective of my teeth and made sure to brush and floss twice a day.

I spat in the sink and put my toothbrush back in its place as steam started to fill the room. I opened the shower door and stepped under the hot spray of the water. It was strange to think that next-door that Edward was also naked in his shower with water trailing down his... I quickly shook my head of the images running through it deciding that I didn't have the time to linger on those thoughts and quickly lathered up in my strawberry lotion and watched as the suds disappeared down the drain.

I jumped back out of the shower and grabbed a towel and wrapped it around myself. I was much more awake now and I whistled happily as I brushed the knots out of my hair. I didn't have time to do anything fancy with it so I just put it in its usual ponytail.

I was on my way to my bedroom when it happened. My clumsiness hit me and I let out a squeak as I found my arms flailing in the air before I fell over onto my back. "Shit!" I hissed rubbing my thigh, which I had somehow hit against the door on my way down. I rubbed it knowing that it was going to leave a bruise and let out a huff.

Suddenly there was a knock on the door and I instinctively pulled my towel higher under my arms. "Bella, are you okay?"

"Um, yeah, I just tripped over." I called out. It was silent on the other side of the door and I thought that he was gone until he spoke again. "Do you want me to look at it?"

"Um, no. I think it..."

"Are you decent?" He asked interrupting my attempt to not let him get in. I looked down at myself and was tempted to ask just what decent entitled. I was covered if that's what he meant. "I guess."

The handle of the door turned and I cursed myself for not locking the door. The door opened and he stepped in and I swear that God is out to get me because he was standing there in just a towel. At the rate I was going I was spontaneously combust and the big guy up there would have no one to blame, but himself for thinking this was so fucking hilarious.

I swallowed tightly as he moved to his knees by my side.

"Which thigh is it?" He asked and I pointed to my left thigh and I had to stifle a gasp as his long, thin fingers dragged up my skin and massaged the skin just centimeters away from where my towel was. Have I mentioned the fact that I was naked underneath it? Little pings of electricity ran through my thigh wherever he touched me and my eyes were wide.

My mouth was hanging open as I tried to control my now raging hormones. His hair was so close to me and I just wanted to thread my fingers through it and yank it back so I could smash my lips against his.

He looked up at me under his eyelashes-which were fucking beautiful by the way- and my eyes were instantly drawn to his pouty lips. Thankfully my expression had dwindled into a dreamy, mushy one by the time he looked up at me and he smiled slightly.

"If you massage the skin where the bruise will be, it reduces the chance of it actually bruising." I nodded dumbly unable to speak even if I had wanted to. I was just lucky that I wasn't drooling. He stood up and moved away, one hand placed firmly where his towel stayed together and I had a brief fantasy of it falling to the floor and exposing him in all his manliness glory.

I was practically panting as I watched him turn around and leave. As soon as he was gone I sat up and shook my head to clear the haze that had fallen over me.

Okay, can someone please explain this to me?

I mean what the fuck!

Can you tell me of one person, just one, who has ever gone through something so arousingly confusing before.

Gah!

I let out a huff of frustration and hoisted my towel up as I grabbed onto the counter top and hauled myself off the floor. My mind wasn't quite there as I went back into my room and got dressed. I honestly couldn't have told you what I was wearing.

I barely managed to grab a pop tart before jumping into the car with Edward to eat on the way as my breakfast. Something that Edward commented on. He just rambled on about calories and high cholesterol. I merely looked at him and took a huge bite out of it just to spite him.

By the time we pulled up in front of the school Alice was waiting for me practically bouncing on the curb. I had about ten minutes before the first bell and as soon as I stumbled out of the car she grabbed my arm and dragged me towards the library throwing a quick hello to Edward before he pulled away from the curb. I groaned in reluctance, I doubted I could deal with Alice without my usual dose of coffee.

"We need a game plan." Alice said excitedly. Her eyes were bright and alight with excitement. She waved a black notebook in my face and I quickly moved away before I got a mouthful of paper. "A game plan?" I asked tiredly as we headed towards the warmth of the back of the library.

"Yes, I have been doing a lot of thinking recently and it's like we are waiting on nothing. Sitting around pining just isn't enough for me anymore. I need to go in balls deep."

I raised my eyebrows at her metaphor. While I agreed with her, I wasn't exactly sure what we could do about it. "Okay." I said slowly. "What is this plan you have thought up?" She beamed at me. "I thought you would never ask!" She motioned for me to take a seat at one of the tables in the library before opening her notebook.

"I think that we are spending too much time thinking and not enough time acting. As they say actions speak louder than words." I hid my smirk as she went into military mode. "We need to be upfront about what we want. They think of us still as kids and we need to prove to them that we know what we want and aren't afraid to take it." Her eyes flashed and I knew the whole Jasper dating Maria thing was getting to her more than she was wiling to admit.

She tossed the notebook at me, "Here read it." I raised my eyebrows at her and hesitantly opened it to the first page. "Alice's Rules To Getting the Man of your Dreams..."

I glanced up at Alice and she gave me an encouraging smile. I let out a breath and continued reading.

"Rule One: Get their attention. Make them curious about you and then fascinate them.

Rule Two: Be coy, flirt, but for the love of God do not be too obvious (*look at bottom of page to see what counts as too obvious). Acting like a slut gives the man a certain view on you and it makes it less likely for it to be a long lasting relationship.

Rule three: Now that you have their attention and if they are responding in a positive manner make sure that you are being yourself. Be honest and even if you think he may not like it, it is part of you and he will have to accept that. Communication is important and is what relationships are based on.

"Rule Four: In certain situations where the man is in a position that makes him think that a relationship between the two of you is impossible and he might push you away. Do not lose heart. It is not because he does not like you- it in fact proves that he does- when he tries to push you away. He thinks that he is doing the right thing and that you will se things from his point of view, which in itself is a ridiculous notion. This is the time when you have to be the balls of the couple.

"He is you man and you will not back down until he sees that the two of you are perfect together and can get through anything. Fight for him, he is worth it! Prove to him that you are in for the long haul and that the little speed bumps you are likely to encounter will not push you away.

If by now you are not in a happy, steady relationship then go back to Rule Three, you have obviously not been taking my rules seriously.

No relationship should be bordered by what society deems wrong and right- cheating is not applicable to these rules, it is not a relationship if three people are in it. There shouldn't be a time frame dictating how fast or how slow you should take it, just make sure that you put a lot of thought into every step you make. Rushing into things can ruin them.

*Too obvious/slutty: touching: such as stroking the arms and legs. Gripping his thigh is a no no. Running your hands through his hair, dressing in as little clothing as possible to achieve Rule One is also not applicable. Batting your eyelashes and trying to use you 'assets' as an advantage. Yes, men like a nice pair of breasts and a firm ass, but proving that to them will come off as slutty. Men think that if you are slutty, it makes you easy.

I looked up at Alice slightly confused. "Um...this is great, but what am I meant to do with the information you just gave me?"

Alice rolled her eyes, "Come on Bella, you incorporate into your life. It'll be easy." I gave her a disbelieving look as my mind ran back to the occurrence of this morning. "Are we talking about the same person here Alice? I am not like you; I can't just put myself out there. Rejection would crush me. I already have a low enough self esteem. This kind of thing would land me in therapy for the rest of my life."

Alice shook her head disappointedly. "We really have been spending way too much time together. You are meant to be the optimist and I'm meant to be the drama queen." I shrugged, "I doubt I was a optimist. I'm more of a realist and this is the rest of my life we are talking about. If I mess this up, I'm going to end up a lady with a hundred cats and you know I hate cats."

"Drama queen." Alice said in a singsong voice. I stuck my tongue out at her petulantly. "Not everyone has a personality like yours." She rolled her eyes. "Stop acting like a whiny bitch Bella. You have an inner vixen hidden down inside there somewhere. You just need to find it and center yourself around it."

Now it was my turn to roll my eyes.

"What is with people and sounding like they are back in the sixties? Would you like some healing herbs now?" Alice swatted me and shook her head. "Concentrate Bella!" I held up my hands in defence. "Fine, fine." I turned my attention back to the notepad re-reading all her rules.

"What about you?" I asked. She frowned, "What about me?" I rolled my eyes and pointed to one line in the rules specifically. Alice leaned over to see what I was pointing at.

She grimaced as she read the whole 'cheating is not applicable' line. She waved it off easily seeming unbothered.

"I'll just have to find a way to break them up." She said off-handedly. I gave her a look and she gazed back at me evenly. We sat staring at each, silently communicating, for a good two minutes before Alice rolled her eyes.

"Come on Bella! He's meant to be mine. I'll be doing them both a favour. I'm not going to wait till they break up by themselves; you know how these things are. If I wait too long they'll end up married or something and we both don't want that."

I kept up my disapproving look, "I still don't approve. Don't drag me into it at least." She pouted, "But you're my wingman...woman whatever." I shook my head.

"Nope, you are on your own with that little scheme. I want nothing to do with anyone's pain or sadness." I used my firm voice to show her that I was serious. She huffed, but let it go like I hoped she would.

The bell rung for first period and we got up and gathered all our stuff. "See you in history." I called over my shoulder as I walked towards my English class. She waved in acknowledgement and headed off for her calculus class with an extra bounce in her step.

This was going to be interesting.

**AN: They are finally moving forwards! The beginning of First Time starts in about three chapters so things should start getting interesting. Review! They make inspiration come quicker.**

**I am in desperate need of a new beta, so if any of you are interested PM me.**

**I have participated in Breath-of-Twilight's Halloween countdown, which will start on the first of October. Here is the link: http:/www(.)fanfiction(.)net/s/6326403/1/Countdown_to_Halloween_II_One_Haunted_Hallows_Eve**

**Also I have just started my own blog where I just post random stuff up like fic rec's and the progress of my stories. **

**Link for my new blog: .com/**


	6. A Girl Can Dream

**AN: I accidentally posted the wrong chapter last week. This chapter was meant to go before the last one so I'm swapping them round. Sorry about that. Thanks you guys for the reviews. Also thanks to dirtypillowtalk for beta'ing this for me.**

A Girl Can Dream

My knee bounced up and down as nerves ran through me. I hated being here in this stuffy office, but part of the agreement that let me stay with Edward was that I had to go to therapy every week.

I scowled as Dr. Kate Denali opened her office door and stepped in. I had been waiting a good five minutes and I was getting antsy. I was surprised that I hadn't chewed all the way through my lip with the way I was biting furiously on it.

Alice had dropped me off here ten minutes ago as my truck had broken down...again. Edward had tried to get me to buy a new car saying that 'the beast' was unreliable. I told him that the day he gives up for good is the day I let him spend a ridiculous amount of money on a new car. He didn't understand that it wasn't just any old truck; the familiar smell of tobacco and mint felt like home to me now.

"Hello Bella, how are you today?" She asked gently like I was fucking five year old. Truth be told I was not having a good day. I had hardly slept a wink last night because I had another one of those stupid nightmares and I had been at Alice's house for a sleepover seeing as her parents had gone who the hell cares where and left her alone.

I didn't think it was so good for her to be alone so much, so I had opted to stay with her for the night. I only got three hours of sleep and then ended up getting detention for sleeping in class. I don't see how he even noticed; my hair was in the way.

I grunted not wanting to snap her head off; her smile didn't falter as she made her way to her plush chair across from me. I fiddled with my hands as I felt her stare on me. She knew I wasn't in the mood to talk about my 'feelings.' I mean; fuck my feelings I just wanted to crash ...preferably with Edward in his bed, not that I was going to tell her that.

I mean damn, if she or anyone else- except for Alice- found out about the fact that we sometimes slept in the same bed then all hell would break loose. Accusations of rape and child molestation would go flying from mouths and they would send me back to a foster home before I could say that it was completely innocent- something that would be said with wistful chargin, of course. I shuddered at the thought of going back to one of those places.

She pushed a stray hair behind her ear and flicked through her files and papers.

"Okay, how has your week been?" I kept my eyes on the floor and shrugged.

"Okay, I guess." I muttered.

"Any nightmares?" I shrugged, not really wanting to go towards that specific subject. "Bella, I need you to answer the question." I breathed out through my nose and sighed. "One." She hummed in that annoying doctor way that makes you wonder if it's a bad or a good thing to admit what you just said.

"What were they about?" She asked and I could feel my irritation growing. I really did not want to discuss the thing that I had been pushing to the back of mind. "The usual." I said curtly. These sessions had gotten old pretty quickly and I just wanted to go home.

"You seem stressed." She said using a sympathetic voice like she actually cared and wasn't just getting paid for it. I narrowed my eyes at her; if she wanted to know my feelings then I would give them to her.

"That's because I don't want to be here. I want to be in my bed sleeping and you are annoying the hell out of me with this therapy 'I actually care about you' bullshit." I let out a breath after my outburst and leaned back into my chair.

"Sorry." I murmured, knowing that I should learn to keep my anger in check. She beamed at me and shook her head. "No, no, no, please don't apologize. This is what therapy is all about; expressing your feelings." She emphasized the last bit with hand gestures.

I had to suppress an eye roll. Did she want me to sit cross-legged on the floor and to ask to be called Love Child or something?

We spent the rest of the session talking about the crap that happened in my week and how I felt about it. I was so glad when the timer went off that I nearly fell out of my chair in haste to get out of there.

As soon as I stepped outside Alice's Porsche came screaming to a halt in front of me. The back was filled to the brim with bags and I swear she was wearing a new pair of sunglasses.

"Hop in." She chirped happily singing along loudly with the radio. I slipped in next to her happy to be able to relax finally. I dumped my bag by my feet and raised my eyebrows.

"Did you just go and buy out the mall?" I asked grinning. She pulled her sunglasses up to rest in her hair and rolled her eyes. "Funny. I just got the necessities." I quirked an eyebrow and took another look at the backseat.

You could barely see out of the back window they were piled so high. "Right. Just the necessities." She waved her hand at me again. "Psssht, enough about me. How was therapy?" I scowled and she chuckled.

"That good, eh?"

I sighed, "She was getting on my last nerve. You know how I get without enough sleep. I barely restrained myself from ripping her head off." Alice laughed and squealed as the song on the radio changed.

"Oh, I love this song!" She turned it up full blast and started singing along to it at the top of her lungs. Now Alice has been known to have a really nice voice...when she tries, and right now she really was not trying. I had to hide my grimace as she sang off-tune. My bad mood was soon forgotten as she started doing her own little dance while weaving in and out of traffic. At one point she was waving both her hands around in the air.

I am surprised at how she hasn't crashed her car yet. I mean she is almost as dangerous behind the wheel as Edward. I've seen him drive with his knees while going through his CD collection, his eyes clearly not on the road. I've even had to steer for him once while he tried to find his phone which was on the back seat. I was just glad he was tall and managed to reach it without taking his foot of the gas.

When the song finished she relaxed back into her seat grinning. "Don't you just love being a trust fund kid?" She said her eyes sparkling as she careened around a corner barely missing hitting a truck at the intersection. He honked and she opened the window and gave him the finger.

I raised my eyebrows at her. You see in Carlisle and Esme's will was a...healthy amount of money put aside for me for when I turned eighteen."What do you mean?" I asked slightly amused.

She shrugged, "Oh you know. It's nice to know that our future is taken care of. No shit paying job through college so you don't get kicked out, shopping sprees and expensive lunches every Saturday, nice apartments instead of dorms." She sighed in happiness and I couldn't help a small chuckle from escaping.

"Have fun with that. I'm trying to get at least a partial scholarship to college and I'm saving the rest for when I'm older and more responsible." She wrinkled her nose at me. "Bleugh! You are so boring sometimes Bella. Have some fun! Splurge a little. Have a night out on the town! Maybe, a spa day with champagne and caviar."

She was going off into her little Alice land where she was an Audrey Hepburn wannabe. I snapped my fingers in front of her face. "Wake up, Audrey." I said and she scowled playfully at me.

"You know there's more to life than material things." I pointed out. She pulled a face. "Fine, granny Cullen, I will give myself a cutoff point. It really isn't my fault that having fun costs money. In the words of Madonna, "We are living in a material world and I am a material girl."

She stuck her tongue out and slid into park on the curb outside of my house.

"Now skedaddle chicki. I'm sure you're suffering from an Edward relapse." I looked out the window stupefied. How the fuck had she gotten here so fast? I shrugged and got out.

I sighed in relief as I saw Edward's car sitting in the drive. Seeing as he was home before me, he was probably either making dinner or ordering in. I shouldered my bag and turned back to Alice. "Are you sure you don't want to come in for dinner?" She shook her head and waved her hand absent-mindedly.

"Nah, dad is back from his trip for the week and wants to 'spend some quality time' with me." Her sarcastic expression brightened," But I can't complain because I'm going to get a shit load of presents to make up for having crappy parents." I shook my head incredulously as I slammed the door closed.

I really didn't know how she stayed so optimistic. If I were her I would be pissed off, but here she was all happy because her parents most likely bought out Gucci to make up for never being around. It wasn't that Mr. and Mrs. Brandon were bad parents because they weren't...when they were around.

They had their own photography company and part of their job was to travel around the world looking for that perfect shot to put in their magazine or on a postcard to Alice.

Alice used to go around with them and just get home-schooled, but when she turned fifteen she put her foot down and moved into the family house and was just watched over by her mother who decided to look after the shop in Seattle.

I stepped back and watched as the wheels spun shooting gravel everywhere as she sped out of the drive at an unreasonable rate in her shiny canary yellow Porsche- another present from the parents. I just hoped no police were out right now otherwise she would be adding another ticket to her collection.

I walked steadily up the drive dreading the Calculus homework I would have to do tonight. I turned the knob to the door and pushed it open glad to finally be home. Loud music blared through the house filled with bass and twanging guitar riffs so I could only guess that Edward was listening to some of his Seattle grunge music. I dumped my bag by the door after closing it and made my way into the kitchen.

Edward was standing shirtless by the stove cooking. His head moved along with the music and his normally crazy hair looked like he been electrocuted, so I guessed he had just gotten out of the shower.

He hadn't noticed my presence yet and I walked further into the room and sat on one of the bar stools. I watched as the muscles on his back moved and flexed as he moved and my eyes moved to the tattoo that rested on his right shoulder.

It was of a white freesia dripping in red. He had gotten it just after Carlisle and Esme had died and it had their death date written in script underneath.

I cleared my throat to get his attention, but the music drowned it out easily.

"Edward!" I yelled loudly causing him to jump. He spun round and grinned when he saw me, making the freckles around his nose stand out more prominently. He hated his freckles, but I thought they were cute.

He picked up a remote and turned the music down until it was only background noise.

"Hey Bells, didn't hear you there." I smirked at him, "I doubt you would have heard a four ton truck smashing into the house with how high you had your music." I teased. He rolled his eyes, "Such music has to be loud to be appreciated to its maximum." He said primly. Now it was my turn to roll my eyes.

"Whatever." I muttered. He chuckled and turned back to cooking. "How was school and the dreaded therapy?" He asked. I shrugged even though I knew he couldn't see me. "Fine, I got detention and therapy was as horrible as usual."

He looked over his shoulder at me and frowned, "What did you get detention for?" He asked concern laced in his voice though I could tell he was trying to hide it slightly. I pulled a face, "Sleeping in class."

He looked at me intently probably noticing the bags under my eyes. "Bad night?" He asked and I nodded. "Yeah, but I finished my paper for my English class and made Alice one hell of a breakfast." He frowned, not really hearing my joke and turned back to the stove busying himself with dinner. I leaned forward on my hands deciding that a change of topic was in order.

"So...what'cha making?" I asked lightly. He moved to the side slightly so that I could see. "Noodles with a chicken stir fry." He said cheerfully. I perked up at that.

"Nice, do you need any help?"

He shrugged, "Not much left to do and knowing you, you will try and dominate the kitchen and end up pushing me out and this in my kitchen tonight." He beat his hands against his chest all gorilla and I smirked wryly thinking if ways he could dominate _me_.

"Bella?" He waved his hand in front of my face and forced out of the gutter, which was full of blindfolds and being tied to the bed. I looked up at him expectantly, "Hmm?" He chuckled, "You zoned out. Why don't you get two plates out of the cupboard before you fall asleep?"

I jumped up glad for the distraction. "I thought you didn't need my help." I teased going over to the cupboard with all the plates. He snorted, "This has nothing to do with cooking." I grinned and leaned up to reach the plates. I stood on my tiptoes and stuck my tongue out in concentration as my fingers skimmed the top of the pile. Why did we have to have so many plates?

Suddenly I felt him behind me. "Here, let me help you." He reached over me, pressing his body into mine. My breath hitched as I watched as one of his lean, muscled arms reached out and picked two plates off the top of the pile.

He placed them down on the counter, artfully skimming his arm against mine as he pulled back slightly, putting room between our bodies. "I forgot how short you were." He said chuckling. I snapped out of my temporary lust haze and grabbed the plates quickly hoping he wouldn't see how flushed my cheeks were from that brief contact. I turned around quickly and nearly crashed into his chest.

Everything moved rather quickly after that. While abruptly stopping myself from crashing into his firm, drool worthy chest, I managed to lose my footing and slip over. The plates went flying out of my hands and by some Spiderman maneuver he managed to catch me before I fell backwards and smashed my head against the counter. Sadly the plates weren't so lucky and smashed on the floor.

My hands were pressed against his warm chest and I looked up startled into his eyes. They seemed darker than before and I was immediately sucked into them. The hand wrapped around waist touched the bare skin of my hip- an aftermath of nearly falling over had caused my top to ride up- and it seemed that time had stopped as we lingered in such close embrace.

My mouth fell open slightly in a gasp as electricity sparked through me from his body and his eyes lightened and he abruptly stood up straight. He set me upright and took a step back putting space between us.

My skin burned from where his fingers had touched me and I nearly whimpered from the loss of contact.

"I'll get the broom." He mumbled refusing to look at me. I opened my mouth to argue and maybe use the opportunity to go and change my panties, but he had already stridden out of the room. I sighed and turned back to the mess on the floor. I crouched down and started picking up the large pieces.

I thought about the feel of him pressed against me and wondered if the day would ever come where he would press against me purposefully and maybe, just maybe, kiss me. I shrugged, hey, a girl can dream.

**AN: Anyone see their little moment there? *Sniggle* Review and tell how I did!**


	7. Grown Up

**AN: This chapter was originally a lot shorter, but Edward had more to share at the end. I'm posting this chapter early this week because I think you all deserve it with all the great reviews!**

Grown Up.

"Mike Newton is having a party tonight." Alice chirped as we walked through the school halls on our way to the cafeteria. "Hmmm." I murmured distractedly. When she saw that she wasn't going to get more of an answer out of me than what I had already given her she continued on.

"We should go." She said confidently. I paused slightly in my walk and cast Alice a quick look before carrying on down the hall. It wasn't that I didn't want to go to Mike's party- however much I disliked crowded places- it was the fact that Mike might take it up as invitation. He had been hounding me for a date every since I got size B boobs.

I pulled a face, "Do we have to?"

"Come on, we never go out anymore and as much as I love sitting around pining because you refuse to help me. I do have a life that needs my attention." She whined. I rolled my eyes knowing that she was seconds away from a tantrum.

"Fine, whatever." I muttered not wanting to argue with her. She gave me a strange look, "That's it. No, 'but Alice', no wheedling, not even an 'I hate Mike'?" I shrugged, "I can't be bothered to argue about this, I have more important things to think about."

She face turned concerned, "More nightmares?" She asked. I shook my head, "Nah, we had a pop-quiz in Calculus and I think I failed it." She grimaced, "That sucks...which is why going to Mike' party will cheer you up." She gave me a sly grin and wiggled her eyebrows at me.

I felt a smile tug slightly at the edge of my mouth. Alice always knew how to brighten up my bad moods, "Fine, I will be your willing Barbie." She squealed and jumped up and down clapping. She grabbed onto my neck pulling me down enough to plant a big, wet kiss on my cheek.

"I love you, I love you, I love you. We have so much to do. We might need to skip last period." I gave her a look.

"Alice, I'm most likely flunking Calculus, I can't afford to skip classes." She pouted before looking mischievous. "Its Gym though. You can come up with a good excuse." I groaned not knowing what I hated more. Skipping class or going to Gym.

"Fine, I'll see what I can do." She seemed pleased and we entered the cafeteria to get food.

The rest of the day passed pretty quickly and after saying that it was my 'time of the month' I had been excused from gym. We went over to Alice's house to grab her stuff before going back to mine. After being tugged, poked and stabbed within an inch of my life for over an hour I was deemed acceptable by Alice's standards.

She ransacked my closet until she found me a pair of tight jeans that I swear I had never seen before and an ice blue camisole. I put it on wordlessly and looked at myself in the bathroom mirror.

"Its a bit revealing isn't it?" I called out to her as I tried to stuff my boobs further into the top. All my arms and shoulders were on display and I wrinkled my nose at my pale skin. Alice poked her head into the bathroom and rolled her eyes.

"Don't look so worried, you'll be wearing a jacket." I sighed and decided it was best just to humor her. I had managed to veto ballet flats instead of heels and by the time we went downstairs I could admit we both looked pretty good.

Edward was sitting on one of the barstools in the kitchen looking over some papers when we came in. He looked us over and smiled," You guys look nice, you really didn't need to do it for my account." Alice giggled and skipped over to him.

"You don't mind if we got out to a party do you?" She gave him the dreaded pout and he raised his eyebrows before peering over her head at me. "If she is dragging you against your will roll your eyes" He said to me and I couldn't help the grin that spread across my face. Edward knew me to well.

Alice pouted more heavily and moved back in his line of sight. "Pwease...Pretty pwease."

"Depends on where it is and if you have finished your homework." He said looking back down at the pile of papers in front of him. Alice beamed knowing that she had won, "It's at the Newton's and we'll be back by eleven. We did our homework earlier."

Edward shrugged and leaned back on the stool, "Sounds reasonable. Just make sure you have your cell phones on you at all times and never take a drink that you didn't pour yourself." He warned sternly. We both nodded and Alice's phone rang.

"Give me a sec." She dashed out of the room and I turned my attention back to Edward. He grinned at me, "I was serious when I said you looked nice." I blushed at the compliment. "You look so grown up like this. It's still strange to me to think that you're going off to college next year and leaving little old me behind." A look of sadness crossed his face before he pushed it away.

"I guess you'll be glad to be rid of an old man like me." I rolled my eyes. "Your not even thirty yet Edward." He shrugged, "Give it a few years." He muttered and looked out of the window with a wistful look on his face before he sighed and turned back to the papers lying on the counter. I sidled up to him and sat beside him. I nudged his shoulder slightly.

"Hey, it's not like I'm just going to forget about you. I'll visit all the time." He smiled slightly.

"And here I was thinking that I was rid of you." He joked. Alice came bouncing back in, "Come on Bella we're going to be late." She chirped and I slid off the stool. "Bye Edward." I said. He nodded and waved.

We made our way out to Alice's Porsche and got in. My mind immediately went back to what Edward had said. I had less than a year to get him to fall for me and I was nowhere closer to that goal than when I started. If I kept stalling any longer it would be too late.

I would go to college and he would move on with his life and find some girl to settle down with. My heart clenched and I frowned. I would have to amp it up if I wanted results. I thought back to the weeks since I had started my little endeavour to see if there were any signs of him actively liking me in a more sexual way.

I couldn't really find anything, most likely because with my clumsiness we were always touching in strange, different ways. I would need to take another look at Alice's rules. I sighed as Alice skidded into park outside Mike's house, which was alive with booming music.

Alice clapped her hands in glee and hopped out of the car. "This is going to be so much fun." I rolled my eyes and followed her out putting all my thoughts out of my mind. I was adamant that I was going to have fun.

An hour later I was sitting on the back porch bored stiff with a drink in my hand. I don't know where Mike got alcohol, but everyone seemed to be tripping over and all around just being gross. It was times like this that I hated the fact that was so responsible drinking coke wasn't that daring.

Alice had disappeared off to talk to some boy in our biology class and I had tried to mingle, but my general awkwardness didn't help. I stood up suddenly needing the toilet and went back inside. It was so hot inside and everyone was dancing and rubbing up against each other or sitting on the couches making out.

I was jealous of their ability to be able to let go and just have fun, something that was an impossibility for me. I kept to the walls and skirted around people as I headed towards the hall. I slipped out of the crowded room and walked down towards the bathroom.

"Bella!" I held back a groan. I had managed to be invisible enough for Mike not to notice me so far and had hoped that he would be drunk and passed out by now or at least hooking up with some random bimbo in a top she deemed long enough to say it was dress.

I kept walking pretending that I hadn't heard him, but I felt his hand on my shoulder and I turned around. "Hey Mike." I said weakly. He smiled widely at me. "How are you?" I shrugged, "Fine."

He nodded energetically like one of those bobble heads. He put his hands on either side of me trapping me against the wall. My eyes widened as I realized what I bad position I was in.

"So...I was thinking. Would you like maybe want to go out this Friday?" He asked in what I guess he thought was a suave voice. I sighed and tried to think of a way to say this in a nice way.

"Mike, it was nice of you to ask, but I'm just not interested in dating you. Can't we just be friends?" I had expected his face to fall and for him to leave, but he just looked determined. He pushed me flat against the wall hard making me hit my head on it and tried to press his lips against mine.

I placed my hands on his shoulders and tried to push him backwards. There was no way in hell that I was going to let his mouth anywhere near mine. "Mike! Get the fuck off me." I growled. He completely ignored me, "Come on Bella, stop being such a tease." he muttered fanning his stale, hot breath all over me. I raised my knee and shoved it into his groin. He released me and doubled over cursing loudly.

I used this moment to escape into the bathroom and lock the door. I backed away from the door as I heard him thumping on it loudly and shouting through the door. I curled up on the toilet seat and pulled my phone out of my pocket.

I dialled Edward's number with slightly shaking hands. The room was completely silent now and I hoped that Mike had left. It rang three times before he picked up.

"What's wrong?" Was his immediate question. I took a deep breath. "Can you pick me up?" I asked quietly. It was silent for a second on the other side before he spoke. "What happened?" I could hear his keys jingling in the background and I sighed in relief.

"I...I...probably just over-reacting, but I just want to go home." I heard the front door close through the phone and the beep of his car opening. "Bella." He warned in his authoritive tone. "Tell me what happened."

I raked a hand through my hair. "It was my fault...I knew he would get the wrong idea. I just thought going out would be better than sitting at home. It was stupid."

"Bella!" He shouted down the phone effectively ending my rambling. "Just tell me. I promise not to get mad." I nodded and bit my lip. "I was on my way to the bathroom and Mike cornered me. He kind of has thing for me and we were just talking and he asked me to go out with him and I said no and he just got a bit aggressive and called me a tease."

"What exactly did he do?" Edward asked in a calm voice, a too calm voice. "Um...he pushed me against the wall and tried to kiss me. I took care of it." The only thing I could hear after that was his breathing and it didn't take a genius to figure out that he was trying to reign in his anger.

"Are you still at his house?" He asked quietly. I nodded before realizing that he couldn't see. "Yeah, I locked myself in the bathroom." He didn't answer after that and I wondered if he had put the phone down, but the call time was still running. A minute later I heard a commotion outside the door and I leapt up and unlocked the door.

I peered out to find Edward with Mike shoved up against the wall, his arm under Mike's neck. My eyes widened at the sparkling fury in Edward's eyes.

"You touch her again you slime ball and I will cut your balls off and make you eat them, do you understand?" Mike scrambled at Edward's arm, which I now realized was suffocating him.

"Edward!" I shrieked. "Stop it!" He whipped his head round to see me and his eyes stared intently into mine for a second before he took a step away from Mike. Mike slumped onto the floor grasping at his throat and making retching noises.

"Are you okay?" Edward asked me and I dragged my eyes away from Mike to Edward. "Um..." My head was a complete mess of jumbled thoughts and I didn't think I could answer that question honestly because I had no idea how I was.

"I'm fine...I think."

Mike shot me an evil look and stumbled to his feet.

"Who do fuck you think you are?" He spat at Edward. "Her jealous boyfriend?" Edward raised his eyebrows and I noticed his hands flexing in a way that said he was really restraining himself from hitting Mike.

"No, I'm just a guy that actually gives two fucks about women to know that if someone forces themselves on one-especially one that I care about- that I have every fucking right to smash their face in until it resembles tomato pulp." The threatening tone in his voice was enough to make Mike cringe back.

"You should be happy that Bella is too good of a person to let me do that, but if I ever see you or hear of you being within ten feet of her I will not hesitate to follow through with my threat. Got it?" Mike nodded before running off.

I looked up at Edward in awe because frankly there was nothing hotter than Edward when he was angry. His chest was heaving and one of his hands was embedded in his hair. His eyes still had that dark, intense look in them. Suddenly it dawned on me that he said that he cared about me.

_Obviously he cares about you. _The annoying pessimistic voice sounded in my head. _You are his to care about until you turn eighteen._

I ignored the voice and wrapped my arms around Edward's waist. "Thanks." I murmured hugging him gratefully. He seemed slightly surprised by my show of affection but he responded before taking my hand and leading me outside.

Until now I had completely forgotten about Alice until she called after me, "Bella! Wait." I turned to see her coming towards me looking concerned.

"What happened? I saw Mike running off looking like someone kicked him in the nads." Edward turned to Alice grimly. "Mike harassed Bella and I'm taking her home now. Are you okay to get home by yourself?" Alice nodded with wide eyes.

"I'm so sorry Bella." She muttered and I knew she was blaming herself. I gave her a quick hug. "It wasn't your fault. I'll see you tomorrow okay?" She nodded and I slipped into the open car door. Edward closed the door behind me and went round to the other side and got in.

"Are you sure you are okay?" He asked as he started up the car. I nodded and leaned my head back against the seat and closed my eyes.

"I am now." I muttered. He sighed before pulling away from the curb and driving down the street to our house. My head was still so jumbled up and they were criss-crossing with my emotions making it hard to discern what was really bothering me. I clenched my eyes shut tighter and wished for someone, Edward, just to love me.

I knew he cared for me, but I wanted that intense connection. I wanted him to hold me and kiss me and make all my worries go away. I sighed heavily reluctantly pulling myself out of my own pity party as he pulled the car to a stop outside the house.

I undid my seatbelt and reached for the doorhandle when Edward placed his hand on my arm. I looked over my shoulder at him wondering what he wanted. He looked at me worry etched on his face.

"Are you sure you're okay?" I paused slightly and worked up a smile. "Yeah, I'm fine." I was suddenly intensely aware of how quiet and secluded we were. The only light came from weak bulb flickering above our heads. He leaned over and my breath hitched as the callused pads of his fingers brushed up against my cheek as he pushed a few stray hairs behind my ear.

His hand lingered there for a second before he withdrew it and looked down. He raked a hand through his hair and peered up at me from under his eyelashes. "Why don't you sleep in my bed tonight? I've pretty much finished all the work I needed to do anyway." I blushed and looked up at him from under my eyelashes.

"I'd like that." I murmured and he seemed satisfied with my answer. I couldn't help, but think how high school cliché this sounded in an unconventional way. It brought a small, secret smile to my face as I stepped out of the car. I closed my door and looked over at Edward as he exited the car on the other side.

I leaned my arms on the roof of the car. "Thanks." I said and he looked up at me and raised an eyebrow silently asking why i was thanking him. I shrugged and gave him a wryly smile. "You just always seem to be there for me." I said in explanation. He rubbed the back of his neck and chuckled awkwardly.

"It's my job to be there for you Bella. You're important to me and so if you aren't happy it affects me too. You are such a bright girl and have the whole world ahead of you. Its jerks like Newton who try and push their wants and desires onto us, which hold us back. You're practically a grown up now Bells and you deserve better than what any of those guys you go to school with could ever give you." He paused slightly an unreadable emotion in his eyes before continuing.

"Maybe one day you'll find a guy you will love you for every bit of you, not just want what's on the outside. He'll treasure you and take care of you just like you deserve and you'll be really happy." He chuckled awkwardly, "Just be careful who you give your heart to, okay."

He smiled at me and I saw that unrecognizable expression flash in his eyes before it faded away. I shivered as a gust of wind blew past, but I was too lost in my own thoughts to really care that I had left my jacket at Mike's place. I would just get Alice to fetch it for me.

He locked the car and started walking towards the door. It was only once he had reached it that he looked over his shoulder at me.

"You coming?" he asked and I nodded and followed him.

Little did he know that I had already given my heart away at the tender age of fourteen. I smiled and shook my head as i stepped in through the doors. I just needed him to realize that he wanted and loved me just as much I did with him.

**AN: Good grief, they are a pair! Can't they just do it already? Truth be told I could just do that, but that would completely mess up my outline So with (Little) patience we wait. Review!**

**I have participated in Breath-of-Twilight's Halloween countdown, which will start on the first of October. Here is the link: http:/www(.)fanfiction(.)net/s/6326403/1/Countdown_to_Halloween_II_One_Haunted_Hallows_Eve**


	8. The Ultimate Push

**AN: I'm bored and impatient so I'm posting this early! This chapters starts the beginning of First time. It will be tweaked here and there and I might put some extra days in before we get to the big final, but it's pretty much the same. This chappie has some smut in! Yay! Thanks guys for all the great reviews and also thanks to dirtypillowtalk for being my beta. Couldn't do this without her.**

The Ultimate Push

One sheep...

Two sheep...

Three sheep...

Alabama...

Alaska...

Arkansas...

Arizona...

Wait a second... Doesn't Arizona come before Arkansas? I quickly compared the two in my head going through the letters slowly. Yep, Arizona definitely comes before Arkansas. I sighed and turned over onto my side and looked over at the clock and sighed again. The digital numbers of my clock flashed at me, 1:04am, taunting me with the fact that I had an early morning tomorrow or today. I sat up, pushing the sheets down to the bottom of my bed frustrated.

Edward should be back from the hospital by now and I knew he wouldn't mind if I slept in his bed with him. He had started to take double shifts as one of the doctors had fallen sick. He said that it was only until Thursday night, but it seemed like a long, lonely time for me without his warming presence. I crawled out of my bed and made my way over to his bedroom. I could see the light coming from underneath the door and I knocked quietly. No answer.

I opened it slowly and stuck my head in not wanting to disturb him in case he had fallen asleep with the light on. The room was empty. _Huh_. I slipped in and closed the door behind me quietly. The bathroom door was open slightly and I thought I heard a grunt coming from in there.

I moved quietly across the room, the wooden floor making a slight slapping sound against the bottom of my feet, and peered into the steamy room thinking that was where Edward was. I gasped quietly in shock at the sight that greeted me.

Edward was in the shower, naked, with his head thrown back in pleasure and his hand wrapped firmly around his thick, hard cock. In hindsight I probably should have guessed what I would see. I mean I'm not naive to think that men don't have needs, sexual needs, especially when they don't have a girlfriend and no way to get release any other way.

His hips were thrusting in time with his strokes and I couldn't help but get wet at the sight. My cheeks had heated up and my breaths had shortened as my eyes took in his movements. His thumb rubbed the head spreading the pre-cum over swollen tip and he groaned in ecstasy.

_This is wrong_, a small, annoying voice in my head told me. _He's like your brother._ I pushed the voice to the back of my head and locked it away not needing it to hinder me before continuing to watch him.

His strokes had sped up and I could tell by his clenched jaw and the slight tremor in his thighs that he was close. His thrusting got erratic and with one swift twist at the head of his cock his whole body stiffened and white liquid shot out of him."Fuck...Bella!" he groaned out as heavy pants left his body. I froze like a deer in the headlights, had he seen me? I looked more closely at him and saw that his eyes were still closed. I let out a loud sigh of relief and his eyes snapped open and stared back into mine.

His gaze pierced into mine and the air was thick with a sexual, awkward tension. I stood still for a second fumbling; trying to find something to say that would make this situation better." I...I...couldn't sleep...and...I...I'm sorry." I spun around and darted out of his room and back into mine. I slammed the door closed and dived into bed, covering my head with my sheets.

Images of him naked in the shower flickered through my mind and I closed my eyes like if I scrunched them up tight enough then they would disappear and none of this would have happened.

Fuck!

What had I done? Edward was my legal guardian and almost ten years older than me...not that it mattered to me, but he was obviously mortified that I had caught him *cough* taking care of his needs so to speak.

I groaned in defeat, god I couldn't even string a sentence together afterwards. If I was Alice I probably would have just stripped down and jumped in with him. But I wasn't and all that my stupid voyeurism had done was make an awkward situation. Maybe it was just as well that I was leaving for college next year because there was no way in hell that a relationship between the two of us could work.

I mean I had probably just been deluding myself into thinking it could work. This was the guy who had given me the sex talk, patched me up when I hurt myself and used to tuck me into bed with a kiss on the forehead every night.

We even shared his bed more than once a week. He obviously didn't think of me in a more than a platonic way and I had ruined what little relationship we had. He practically acted like my father!

God, I don't even want to go down that path.

I mean would you get wet if you caught your father masturbating in the shower? The answer is a big resounding NO! Most of you are cringing at the very thought of it and I don't blame you. It's a disgusting thought.

I clenched my eyes shut tighter and rubbed my forehead. What do I do now? He was going to give me lift to school in the morning as my truck had broken down again and things were going to be so awkward. I mean how the hell do you start a conversation after something like that?

"Umm, hi you know about last night, just forget I was ever in there watching you as you MASTERBATED!"

No, it's impossible.

Fuck! Stupid truck. If it wasn't such a bitch it would be working right now. I blamed God. If there was anyone out there who knew that this was going to happen it would have been him. He's probably sitting on his throne all smug and happy that my sick little crush has been ruined.

I continued to argue with myself for another hour before exhaustion took over and I finally managed to drop off to sleep.

To say that the next morning was awkward would be a vast understatement. I woke up with such an intense feeling of dread that I almost turned over and went back to sleep just so that I wouldn't have to face the day.

But being the good girl I am and the fact that my grades were already not so great. I couldn't afford to let my personal shit make me fail- I pulled my skinny ass out of bed and into the shower.

Soon I was dressed and standing in front of my bedroom door gearing myself up to actually leave the room knowing that I would have to suffer through a car ride because it was too late to attempt to walk.

I took a few deep breaths and made sure the panic was contained before throwing the door open just as Edward was about to knock on it. We stood there for a tense minute our eyes looking anywhere but at each other.

"I'm leaving now if you want a ride?" He posed it as a question and I looked down at my feet and nodded. We stood still for another tense minute before I tried to squeeze past him. We ended up doing this awkward little dance from left to right as I tried to find a space to get by before he just moved backwards.

I clung to my bag tightly making sure to keep my gaze firmly on my feet as I made my way down the stairs. Figuring that there was no way that I could stomach breakfast right now I just grabbed a bottle of lemonade and headed outside to wait by his car.

It wasn't long before he joined me outside and slipped into the car.

The car ride was so quiet you could have heard a pin drop.

Along with the whole no eye-contact thing we had going, we both reached for the radio and our hands touched sending a weird spark through me causing me to gasp and quickly burrow my hands in my lap. It was safe to say that it was downright mortifying. I don't think I have ever got out of a car so quickly and gracefully in all my life.

The rest of the morning was spent trying to keep last night from coming to the front of my brain. Never had it been so urgent I see Alice, but for once she was nowhere to be seen. She didn't even turn up for History, which was her favorite subject for obvious reasons. By lunch I was a mess of nervous ticks and wishing fervently that I could just run and hide somewhere for the rest of my life. Hopefully a place where there was a lot of cats to keep me company.

I rubbed my forehead and sighed dejectedly when Alice plopped down next to me looking concerned.

"What's up?" She asked nudging me.

I groaned and looked around quickly making sure that no one was nearby to hear," I fucked up bad last night." I hissed quietly letting the defeat and embarrassment cloud my face. She raised her eyebrows, "Spill and don't leave anything out." She demanded crossing her arms over her chest, giving me a serious look.

So I told her everything. About how I couldn't sleep and what I saw in the bathroom and how awkward this morning was. She listened to the whole thing with wide eyes, her mouth hanging open slightly. When I finished I ducked down behind my hair too embarrassed to see her reaction. If anyone would know what to do it would be Alice. "You lucky bitch." She breathed after a few minutes of silence.

I looked up at her from behind my hair confused," Huh?"

She looked back at me a grin on her face," Well no offence, I would be singing Handel's hallelujah right now if I were you."

I just stared at her. "Am I missing something here?" I asked wondering if she was on any medication.

She rolled her eyes, "Hello, not only did you get to see him naked; it's also obvious that he likes you in a more sexual way."

"Ummm... crazy pixie say what?" Definitely on medication.

She sighed and looked at me like I was the dumbest bimbo she had ever laid eyes on. "Did he or did he not say your name as he came?" I nodded slowly as the realization of everything slowly dawned on me.

"What! Are you saying that he was thinking of me when he was..." I trailed off too astonished to continue. No, he couldn't have... Could he? I mean I'm...and he's...What!

She nodded and looked off into the distance wistfully, "I wish I knew if Jasper liked me or not."

I shook her arm hard trying to get her attention," Concentrate Alice. What the hell do I do now?"

She grinned at me all smug and plopped her notebook in front of me, "Isn't it obvious? You seduce him. The poor bastard won't know what hit him." I looked down at the notebook and read the title at the top of the page.

How to Seduce the Man of Your Dreams.

I raised my eyebrows and took a deep breath. Was I really going to do this?

A brief flash of Edward, his head thrown back as little rivets of water cascaded down his lean body all the way down through the trail of hair just above his portending erection, which was firmly incased in his hand. His long, thin fingers flexing with each firm stroke.

Fuck! I would be a complete idiot _not_ to seduce him now.

It was time to put on my big girl panties and take what was meant to be mine.

**AN: This chapter was kind of short, but you know. It kind of had to end there. I think the next chapter will include a trip to Victoroa's Secret. Review and tell me what you think!**


	9. Trying

**AN: THANK YOU GUYS! I have over two hundred reviews for this story! You guys rock so hard. Because y'all were so generous with your reviews I decided to be generous with my posting...Lingerie shopping and talk of waxing coming up in this chapter. I didn't have enough time for this to be beta'd so sorry for the mistakes.**

Trying

"No!"

"Yes!"

I shook my head vehemently and crossed my arms over my chest. We were standing in the middle of the mall after school arguing. "Alice there is no way that I am going to let a complete stranger wander around down there. The only person I want seeing that part of me is Edward."

She rolled her eyes and pulled out her dumb notebook pointing to some of the points.

"If you want to seduce him successfully you will need to look your best. That includes cleaning, plucking, waxing, and shaving." She snapped it shut and raised her eyebrows at me, her hands placed firmly on her hips challenging me. "Do you or do you not want him at your feet begging to fuck you or not?" She asked. I narrowed my eyes at her and huffed.

"I don't need it waxed." I said trying to be confident. "Most men don't mind pubic hair."

She sighed and shook her head, fake disappointment etched into her face.

"Bella, Bella, Bella. I thought better of you. Since when has Edward been most men?"

I opened my mouth to argue, but she carried on obliviously. "Don't you want to look special for him? I mean sure he won't know any different if you didn't, but I can guarantee you that he will be creaming himself if you are bare. Men love a bare pussy. Plus there would be more chance that he will go down on you if you're bare." She waved her notebook in my face. "Its all written in here honey. You just need to pay attention."

She smacked me over the head with it and I cowered away from her with my eyes narrowed. "Fine!" I spat because this was a completely ridiculous argument. Her eyes softened at my tone and she scratched the back of her neck sighing.

"Wait a second. I'm not going to force you to have it done. I want you to do it by your own free will."

I opened my mouth to argue, but she carried on obliviously...again. I think it was becoming a bad habit, her ignoring me whenever I tried to but in.

"I know you think I'm being pushy, but I'm doing this for you. I want your night to be the best that it can be. Losing your virginity is a big deal and you're my best friend. I'm just trying to look out for you."

Now I felt bad. I knew that she would never force me to have it done seeing as that was nearly impossible to physically get me there, but I felt there was something more to this than she was letting in.

"There's something more isn't there?" I said.

She sighed, "Fine. Yes I still feel bad about the whole thing at Mike's place. I shouldn't have left you by yourself like that and I know you've forgiven me for it, but I still need closure on it so by helping you get the one thing you really want then I feel I will be able to forgive myself completely." She gave a heartfelt pout with big eyes and I knew I was done for.

Damn! Now there was no way in hell that I could get out of this. "Fine. I will willingly go get my poor cooter waxed, but you are paying for it. There is no way that I am paying to get hurt. That's just masochistic." She clapped her hands in glee and jumped up and down happily.

"You won't regret this Bella. It's guaranteed to make him cream himself."

I shook my head thanking god that Edward was worth the pain.

"Did you read the magazine article that I sent you?" She asked drawing me out of my musings. I blushed red and immediately regretted putting my hair up as I had nothing to hide behind.

"He doesn't actually expect me to give him a blowjob does he?" I asked quietly.

She snorted, "Bella, men generally don't even know what they want to wear in the morning. He will never ask you to do it, but every man fantasizes about a woman doing it. Plus you can use it as a distracting technique. I'm telling you if you suck his cock nice and hard he will give you anything." She seemed so confident and self-assured that I couldn't help but ask.

"Have you...you know given one to a guy?" It would kind of suck if I was the only completely innocent one here. Just another thing Bella knows nothing about. She paused for a second and darted her eyes over to me.

"Well...not personally, but I read...a lot." She waved her Iphone at me.

"The internet is a very interesting place. You can find all these sites with stories that people have written from the books, movies, and tv shows that they like and about over eighty percent of them are about sex. While in practice I have no experience, in theory I probably know about more positions, kink, and perversion than you can imagine. I mean they fuel my dreams about Jasper pushing me over his desk in history and just fucking me."

Most people would be shocked by her bluntness and forwardness, but it was one of the things I liked about her. Life and all the shit in it didn't faze or scare her. She just took it in her stride and kept going with barely a blink.

She took chances and even though she was my best friend I knew she sometimes did some stupid things that most people would regret, but not Alice.

I tuned back into what she was saying as we walked into Victoria Secret."...You have a fantasy about Edward right? I can see that under all that innocence there is a vixen there so spill." I blushed and shot Alice a look.

"Keep your voice down will you." I hissed as some people looked over at us.

Alice waved her hand around absently and rolled her eyes. "Calm down Bella. We are in a lingerie shop. I doubt people are going to be offended that we are talking about sex. Now spill all those juicy details."

I shook my head, "Even if I did have a fantasy..." Which I did. "...What makes you think I would tell you?" She arched one of her eyebrows, "Um...I don't know...maybe because I'm your best friend and we tell each other everything. Secrets are for people who don't want friends."

That was some skewed logic she had, but in truth we didn't really keep things from each other. Her with her bluntness and me with my ineptness to know what was normal and what wasn't and forever second guessing myself we pretty much told each other everything.

"Alright, but this stays between us okay?" She rolled her eyes at me. "Who else would I tell? Its not like I have a million friends waiting around the corner ready to torture it out of me." I paused for a second wondering if it bothered her that I was her only close friend. When I had first come here she had been pretty much by herself. I thought back to when we first met.

_Keep your head down and maybe no one will notice you. I thought to myself even though I knew it was hopeless. Being the new kid meant that everyone was sizing me up to see which click I would fit into. No one had actually come up to me yet, but I knew it was only a matter of time._

_My eyes stayed trained on the floor as I shuffled down the hall, my schedule crumpled in my hand from holding onto it so tightly. The sound of lockers slamming and loud chatter seemed distant as I slid through the crowds undetected._

_"Hey!" I stopped and looked up and then down to see an elfin girl grinning up at me. "You're Bella right? The new kid." I grimaced and nodded. "Cool. I'm Alice and if you want to survive your first day in this shit hole that they call school then stick by me. _

_I'll give you the down low on everyone here. Who to avoid, whom to speak to. Who's hot and who's not..." She trailed off looking completive before practically ripping my schedule out of my hand._

_She scanned the contents of it quickly before grinning._

_"Great. We have most of the same classes. We have a new history teacher this year and he is so hot. He's mine though so keep your mits off him. By the time I graduate you can sure that that tall glass of water is going to be fucking me six ways to Sunday." My mouth fell open and I stared at her dumbfounded. _

_"Don't look so shocked honey. Now who was the hot guy who dropped you off?" I blushed mentally shaking off my shock. "That was Edward. He's mine...I mean! He's my guardian." I was completely mortified by what I had just said. She was going to think that I was a freak. _

_"He's looking after me until I turn eighteen."_

_She threw her head back and laughed. I don't mean one of those small laughs that sound like they came from Disney. I'm talking about snorting and gasping breaths kind of laugh. "Oh my God. You are just too funny. __I think you need to spend more time trying to convince yourself then you have convincing me. Have you boned him yet?" For the second time in the span of five minutes I looked at her like she grown a second head._

_"Umm what?" I said nervously. "There's nothing between me and Edward. It's completely platonic." She nodded with an understanding look on her face. "I get it. He doesn't know." I just blushed and shrugged thinking that I had most likely lost the first person who I could call a friend because behind all the bluntness and energy I kind of liked Alice._

_"I say go for it. You're more likely to fuck him before I get the history teacher."_

_She started walking down the hall and looked over her shoulder at me completely unfazed._

_"If we want to get to class on time then we need to get moving." I shook my head slowly and followed the strange girl. She started humming to herself effectively ending the conversation-something for which I was glad about-until a tall, dark haired girl smacked right into her causing all her books to go sprawling on the floor._

_"Opps, sorry." The girl said condescendingly like she hadn't done it on purpose. The look on Alice's face made the devil look like he was wearing a white gown and a halo. The girl turned to me and looked me up and down with slight disapproval._

_"So your the new kid. A word of warning, if you want popularity then stay away from the little freak. Maybe I'll save a spot for you at lunch." Alice sneered at her. "If she hangs out with you Mekenna then she'll end up with an STD by the end of the year. But wait! At least then you two would have something in common."_

_I expected Mekenna to get offended and flounce off, but she just rolled her eyes and flipped her hair over her shoulder. "Right midget. If I wanted an STD then I would just fuck your dad." She sniped back easily as if she and Alice did this often. Alice's face turned into the picture of calm and collected, but I could tell by the way her hands were clenched so tightly that she was pissed._

_"Whatever. Talk to my ass bitch, because that's the only thing that gives a crap about the shit your spewing. Go fuck the janitor you whore." Mekenna curled her lip up and gave Alice stink eye. "Did it last week after I got bored of your father." She slammed into me and walked off down the hall._

_We both bent down and pieced up our books that were strewn all over the floor. Alice huffed as she straightened up._

_"Wanna skip and just go to the library?" She asked._

And that my friends was the start of the beautiful friendship that me and Alice had. Only she would expect me to skip school on the first day. She was my Barney Stinson to my Ted Mosbey. The Blaire to my Serena. The...I can't think of any more right now. I'll come back to that later.

"Hello! Earth to Bella. What are you thinking about?" I shrugged, "How you're the Blaire to my Serena." I said honestly.

She wrinkled her nose at me, "You actually watch that crap. I would rather not be compared to either of those sluts even if Blaire has nice clothes. Too many series of swapping boyfriends and falling in and out with each other. It's exhausting. You miss one episode and you're out of the loop. Which do you think is hotter? Nate or Chuck?" I raised my eyebrows at her. For someone who claimed to hate Gossip Girl she sure knew a lot about. I was also aware of the fact that she owned the dvds of them.

"Keep telling yourself that Alice. Now aren't we meant to be looking for lingerie or something?" She nodded and turned her attention back to the racks of skimpy material.

I was surprised to find that I kind of enjoyed our trip to Victoria Secret even when Alice tried to me to try on a red thong and barely there bra set.

"Come on." She coaxed. "Just for fun." I shook my head. "Alice can you imagine me walking into his bedroom and standing there with one hand on my hip going 'give it to me big boy' while flicking the whip in my hand?" She promptly burst out laughing, teasing asking me that I had been watching latter night porn while Edward working late.

After playfully playing and shoving each other around we finally settled on a pair of blue silk panamas with a white lace trim. They were just shorts and a camisole, but according to Alice it was just perfect. The price on the other hand wasn't so perfect, but I sucked it up and bought them anyway.

I took a few minutes to ponder and wonder if this little scheme would work. Being the pessimistic- realist- of the two of us I knew that this could easily blow up in my face and wondered what would happen after that. It would too late for him to send me away to a foster home because I would be eighteen, a legal adult.

I sucked in a long breath and released it again to calm myself down. I felt itchy in my skin and I could feel all this pent up energy waiting to be used up just beneath the surface. I ran a hand through my hair and tugged on it slightly in frustration. Friday couldn't come quick enough.

**AN: I'm not sure if the next chapter will be when she tries it, it just depends on how much stuff I have to put in. I might just do a short chapter. Who knows. We never did find out what Bella's fantasy was so review and guess what it could be!**


	10. The Plan

**AN: Howdy peeps! I'm sorry to say that this isn't the lemon ya'll have been waiting so patiently for. Next chapter guys. Thanks for all the great reviews guys! You rock so hard. Thanks to dirtypillowtalk for beta'ing this and making it look presentable for you guys, I'd be lost without her.**

The Plan

Our plan was to be set in motion early Saturday morning seeing as that was the day of my eighteenth birthday. Alice said that it would make things so much easier if I was of a legal age.

But no matter how fool proof Alice seemed to think her plan was- and she was pretty confident about it- I was still hesitant. It didn't help that things at home hadn't improved in the least. In fact if anything it got worse.

We avoided each other like looking in each other's eyes would give the other the plague and when we were in the same room as each other it was always quiet like we didn't know what to say to each other.

And don't even get me started on the tension in the air. It was like a thick, suffocating tension that threatened to drown me.

I'm sure he could feel it too, but the whole no looking, no talking unless completely necessary made it hard to know for sure.

By the time Friday afternoon dawned I was a mass of nerves. Deep, buried insecurities reared their heads filling my own with depressing thoughts and scenarios. Plus with the added fact that Edward would be home soon things weren't looking so great. What if Alice was wrong and it didn't work? What if he didn't want me? What if I just wasn't good enough...?

My hands were practically shaking and I was jumping at my own shadow as the day wore on. "Calm down Bella." Alice muttered as she leafed through a magazine on my bed.

I looked at her like she had grown a second head. "How can I calm down when the weight of my future lies in my palms?"

She peered at me over her magazine and raised her eyebrows. "Stop being so dramatic. You're starting to sound like me. By one a.m. tomorrow morning you, my friend, will have lost your V card," she said confidently.

I let out a breath wishing that I had that much optimism. "I sure hope you're right," I muttered still not quite certain.

She shrugged and went back to reading, "I'm always right."

I bit my lip. "Do I really have to do it tonight?" I pleaded in a whining tone hoping to escape this while I still could.

She sighed in exasperation- I had been asking that question repeatedly all day. "Number one, it will actually be tomorrow morning. Two, yes you do. You can't back out now, not after spending money on this."

I sighed, she was right. I had bought 'sexy' pajamas just for this. I nodded in resignation. "Fine."

She seemed pleased with that answer and threw the magazine down on the bed and gave me her full attention.

"You should be happy, not like you're marching to your death."

I sighed because that's what it felt like.

"I'm sorry. I just get so nervous and then I start doubting myself. What if he doesn't like what he sees. I mean there isn't that much to look at. My boobs are too small, I've been pigging out recently and my thighs have taken the brunt and..."

Alice put her hand over my mouth to stop me from working myself up anymore than I was already. Tears had already sprung to my eyes and I was on the brink of hyperventilating.

"Shhh. . .you need to calm down. First, he'd be an idiot not to want to jump you. Hell, I would if I went that way. Your boobs are perfect. Be glad you don't look like a flat board like me. He'll love you just the way you are honey." I sniffed and hugged one of my pillows to my chest.

"You really think so?" I asked quietly.

She nodded. "Of course babe. Now tell me all the great shit you're going to do once you're eighteen. I should make a list."

Her eyes lit up as she mentioned making a list. I think list making was a new obsession of hers. It would pass in time so I wasn't that worried.

I shrugged unbothered. Birthdays weren't a big deal to me. They were just the mark of another year added onto your age. Edward was taking me and Alice to Seattle for the weekend to celebrate 'such a milestone' and I hoped that maybe it would be good after tonight to get away from our comfortable home in Forks and go someplace else.

"I haven't really thought about it. Why don't I just look at your list when you're done?" I suggested.

She nodded triumphantly, "Good idea. By the way I'm staying for dinner because my mum has gone to her book club and there is nothing to eat at my place."

She ended it with a pout. You know the one, the-my dog just died and you are my only hope of living through it-pout. I rolled my eyes, "I don't see why you even bother asking anymore. You stay for dinner every Friday."

She shrugged all non-chalant, "True."

"Thinking of dinner," I muttered. "I need to start making it." I stood up and Alice hopped up after me, "Oh! Can I help?"

I shook my head and started going down the stairs, "Alice, I actually want something edible to eat."

"It's not my fault you don't like experimenting." She shouted after me. I knew it wouldn't be long till she followed me so I just ignored her comment.

I went in the kitchen and was surprised to see Edward there. I blushed crimson and managed to ignore all the images flashing across my eyelids. If I wanted things to work between us we would have to get past that little...indiscretion on Sunday night.

"Oh hey Edward, I was about to start dinner. What are you doing back so early?" He smiled seemingly relaxed. "Things were slow today and Emmett came in early so I got off early." I nodded trying not to hear the really inappropriate sexual innuendo he had just unknowingly said and wrung my hands as the awkward tension started building up.

This was the main problem. It was the tension that made thinking hard. I couldn't think of a thing to say and it would only be so long before one of us bolted.

Just as things were getting really bad Alice came bounding in and hugged Edward tightly around the waist, "Hey Eddie, long time no see."

He chuckled at Alice's exuberance. Thankfully he was used to it, "Nice to see you too munchkin. I ordered in some pizza so you don't have to cook."

He looked over Alice at me to see if I was okay with that. This was the first time since the 'accident' happened that we had looked one another in the eye. I blushed a deeper shade of red, "Um...sure I don't mind," I managed to stutter out.

He nodded, "Good." His eyes hadn't left mine and I could feel the electricity between us double.

Alice cleared her throat effectively snapping us out of the trance we had just fallen into, "We are having pepperoni aren't we?"

Edward chuckled and looked down at her, "Like I would order anything else when you're over." She beamed and grabbed my wrist, "Come on Bella let's go choose a movie to watch with it."

She dragged me into the sitting room and went over to the wall full of DVD's. I followed dutifully, knowing she had something to say. I mean we both knew what movie she was going to pick.

"Geesh, you two could have lit a fire with the looks you were giving one another." She muttered as she searched the shelf for Moulin Rouge. It was her favorite and I'm sure she knew all the words to all the songs. She pulled it out and went over to stick it in the DVD player.

"I really don't see why you were so worried earlier." She muttered with a shake of her head as she curled up on the love seat.

I just shrugged and settled down on the love seat next to Alice. I bit my lip as my heart continued to beat fast in my chest. Never had I seen a look like that directed at me and I wasn't going to lie, it left me hot and bothered. She flipped the TV on, "Edward!"

She yelled, "The movie's starting."

He poked his head around the corner, "Please don't tell me that you're watching that musical one again." He groaned. I giggled at his face. He did this every week, but we all knew that he would watch in the end. I had even caught him mouthing along to some of the songs. Alice pouted, "Yes we are, and you're going to watch it with us."

He sighed and came in with a beer in one hand and two bottles of coke in the other.

He threw them at us and Alice caught hers but mine hit me on the nose, "Damnit." I muttered clutching my nose.

Alice jumped up, "I'll get paper towels in case it bleeds."

She ran out and if my nose didn't hurt so much I would have been suspicious. Edward came over and tilted my head, peeling my hands away from my nose. He inspected it, "I should have known better than to throw something to you," he muttered. He leaned closer and it was like suddenly everything changed.

His breath wafted over my face and his eyes darted to my lips before he licked his own. My breathing had turned shallow and if he just leaned up just a little bit further our lips would be touching. Suddenly the doorbell rang and he sprang up,"I'd better get that" he muttered and disappeared out of the room.

I sighed, _ah_ well there goes that. Alice came back in with paper towels and sat down next to me looking unfazed as she placed them on the coffee table.

"How are you doing?" She asked a look of innocence on her face.

I gave her a look that told I knew what she was up to, "I'm fine Alice." She nodded and pressed play on the remote.

The rest of the evening went by without any more incidents. Alice left about half after ten but not before forcibly dragging me upstairs and into the sanctuary of my room to give me last second strict instructions on how to seduce Edward.

"Okay remember; shyness does not belong in the bedroom. Forget it, leave behind in here and go for gold. If he pushes, push back. Take charge of the situation and make him want it so bad that he'll beg for it"

She paused looking at me intently, scanning her eyes over my face like she was trying to memorize it. "This is the last time I'll see you as a virgin." She sniffed and waved a hand in front of her face to stop the tears that were glistening in her eyes from falling.

"Oh God. My little girl is all grown up." She choked out. I rolled my eyes at that. She really was a drama queen. Once she had managed to compose herself she pulled me into a tight hug.

"Channel your inner Alice and you'll be fine."

I grinned at her. "I thought it was my inner vixen I was meant to be channeling?"

She waved her hand around and rolled her eyes. "Yes, but I'm so much better than a vixen so channel me." I laughed and gave her another hug. I knew that after tonight things would different and I clung onto to this last bit of my life for a second. I breathed in the last of its scent and said goodbye to it. It was time to turn over a new leaf and start anew.

"Okay I have to go now. Promise me that you will call tomorrow morning and tell me everything. Don't leave out the graphic details." She gave me a stern look and I nodded.

"I won't. Love you Al." She nodded planted a kiss on my cheek. "Love you too. No matter what." With that she turned with one last wave and bounced back down the stairs and out the front door with a last call of goodbye to Edward. I flopped back onto my bed and closed my eyes content to just wait here until the clock struck twelve.

Edward knocked on the door causing my eyes to pop open and peered into the room then over at me.

"Hey," he murmured. "I'm heading to bed as we have an early morning tomorrow. Do you need anything?" I shook my head and sat up. Little did he know just how much of an early morning he would be getting. "No, I'm good. I think I'm going to stay up for a while. I'm too keyed up to really get some sleep right now."

He nodded, "Okay. Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

His eyes stared into mine for a long, calculating minute and I swear I saw something come through. It was like indecision and pain. I wanted to go over to him and just give him a hug. He gave me a small, almost sad smile and disappeared back out of my room and I let out the breath I hadn't known I had been holding.

Whatever it was that I had seen in his eyes I hoped it would be gone by tomorrow. I hoped that I could take that deep rooted pain that I knew he held so close to his heart and rid him of it permanently.

This whole thing just wasn't about me anymore. I wanted him not just for me, but for him also. I doubted he even knew how much he closed himself off to other people. It was only the constants in his life that ever really saw the real him.

I was one of those constants...

And I was going to show him I cared.

**AN: I was actually listening to the Moulin Rouge soundtrack on youtube as I wrote this. It seems it's not just Alice who loves that movie. :). I bet you're all pissed that you didn't get your lemon, but all in good time. Things have to build up so we understand the characters so don't blame me, blame the person who invented plot. Don't worry I'll give you all a nice big, juicy lemon next chapter. Sound good? Review and tell me. I am feeling rather giving today so you will get a teaser for the next chapter if you indulge me and press that button that is literally calling your name.**

**Also I have posted up my entry from breath-of-twilight's Halloween II One Haunted Hallows Eve. If you haven't already go check it out. It's called Lost Souls.**


	11. The First Time

**AN: Thanks for all the great reviews! I got over fifty! Finally! It's the chapter you have all been waiting for. I bet you are wondering why I am posting early-apart from the obvious fact that I am as impatient as you guys to get this chapter out. It is in fact my Birthday today! That's right, so I thought this could be my birthday lemon. Thanks to dirtypillowtalk for saving this chapter and making as good as it is.**

The First Time

Have you ever felt like time is speeding up, but at the same time dragging along? Seconds seem like minutes, yet minutes seem to go by like seconds. The whole thing is completely contradictory and completely baffling.

The house was completely silent apart from the quiet ticking of the grandfather clock in the hall. My nerves that had given me reprieve and had decided to come back full force and I closed my eyes for a second and let a deep breath out of my mouth slowly.

_You can do this_, I reminded myself.

I stared at the girl reflecting back at me in the mirror of my bathroom with the brush clutched so tightly in her hands that they were turning white. Her eyes were so wide and frightened, scared of the unknown looming ahead of her like a shadow.

I paused and sighed before running the brush through my hair in neat little strokes to keep myself nice and occupied.

I had showered, completely smooth from head to toe- the shower I had just taken had double checked that- and my newly blow dried hair fanned out around my pale shoulders, dark in contrast to my skin and pajamas. I hummed quietly to myself, my voice shaking and wobbling as I forced myself to continue.

My heart stuttered and thumped loudly in my ears as I let out a ragged breath, my skin prickled and felt overheated against the cool marble of the counter top.

I placed the brush down on it, having to forcibly detangle my fingers from it. Red lines marked my skin and I sighed thinking about how ridiculous I was being. I flicked off the light and slipped back into my bedroom which was only lit by a small lamp.

I usually slept with some form of light on as I hated being in the dark. People say that they are afraid of the dark, but for its more that I am afraid of what is_ in_ the dark. My wild imagination brings up murderers and creatures that only exist in the movies and books that I have seen and read.

I think it is more of an insecurity; a paranoia, really. Now that I no longer have to go to therapy I wondered who I would ask about that. It could be a phobia. Maybe Edward would know.

I sat on my bed and wrapped my sheets tightly around me as I picked up the book from my nightstand to distract myself. The words bounced and shimmered across the page not once keeping still enough more me to read them. It was obviously a lost cause to try.

My eyes longed to glance over and peer at the clock again, though I knew that I had done it not but a few minutes ago.

_Soon_. I told myself as my feet twitched in anticipation to walk across the floor and out of my room.

It was then that I heard it. Each chime resounding as my heart beat doubled for each one it gave.

Ding!

Thump thump...

Ding!

Thump thump...

Ding!

Thump thump...

Ding!

Thump thump...

Ding!

Thump thump...

Ding!

Thump thump...

Ding!

Thump thump...

Ding!

Thump thump...

Ding!

Thump thump...

Ding!

Thump thump...

Ding!

Thump thump...

Ding!

Thump thump...

...

Twelve o'clock.

I guess I could say that this is my Cinderella moment, but instead of turning back into a poor maid, I'm going to shine.

I took a deep breath and slid out of bed. After making sure my hair was nice I tiptoed to Edward's room. I hesitated outside the door; the light was off and I figured that he was probably asleep. I slipped through the door and crept over to him and sat down on the edge of the bed.

"Edward." I whispered shaking his shoulder gently, my heart firmly planted in my throat as my fingers burned against the heat emanating from him. He grunted and rolled over onto his back to face me. "Hmmm... what's wrong?" He muttered sleepily. His eyes opened slowly and he gazed up at me and blinked a few times to adjust his eyes to the darkened room.

My face automatically flushed when the covers fell down revealing his bare chest.

I focused back on his face quickly, not wanting to get sidetracked. "I can't sleep, can I stay with you?" I bit my lip and waited for his reply. I knew he wouldn't say no, he had never denied me, but things were different now.

It wasn't just in the last week, but in the last few months or so our relationship had slowly been changing and evolving into something new. He scooted up and pulled back the covers; "Hop in." He mumbled his voice still thick with sleep.

I smiled victoriously and climbed in, snuggling up to him. He sighed and loosely wrapped an arm around me. Now that I was where I wanted to be I would have to move on to the next part of the plan.

I took a deep breath readying myself for what I about to do and slowly slid my foot up his leg going higher and higher pulling the leg of his sleep pants up at the same time while simultaneously drawing circles on his chest with my hand going lower with each pass.

He froze as my finger touched the hair above the hem of his sleep pants and my leg trail along his bare calf. "Bella, what are you doing?"

He looked at me, his expression guarded and I gathered every ounce of courage I had inside me and sat up and flung a leg over his stomach, straddling his waist. His eyes opened wide in surprise as I crashed my mouth desperately against his.

I closed my eyes while chanting_ 'please let this work, please let this work_'. He groaned and relaxed back into the bed and responded readily. Elation and joy flooded through my body and I didn't waste time in lacing my hands into his hair and gripped it tightly like I had dreamed and fantasized for so long, too long.

Our mouths worked frantically over each other, molding and caressing as that desperate tension enveloped us.

It was like in any minute this would be over and it would just seem like a distant dream. Just thinking about how this could evaporate and disappear under my fingertips, under my lips, caused me to press myself harder against him. He pushed his tongue against my lips seeking entrance and I gave it to him willingly wanting to consume him in any and every way I could.

I could taste his breath in my mouth as I thrust my tongue forwards against his twisting and tangling them as we each fought for dominance.

I could feel the tension that was stirring, building between us finally explode as my hips rocked against his clothed cock wanting friction. He gasped effectively tearing our mouths from each other leaving me panting and wanting more. I felt his hands that had been resting on my hips snake up my top slowly leaving a fire in its wake wherever it touched my skin and cupped my breasts.

I let out a breathy moan and he seemed to freeze below me.

He pulled back abruptly, panting for breath.

"We should stop, Bella. This is wrong." He muttered. His eyes wild and dark with barely restrained lust. I ignored him, embodied by the look on his face and his obvious arousal. No matter how wrong his mind thought this was, his body was responding to my touch, telling and showing me just how right and good it thought it was.

I started kissing his neck, trailing them up and down it, inhaling his spicy, warm scent. "Why? I'm eighteen now Edward." I murmured a small smile curving on my lips.

He groaned weakly his resolve obviously faltering, "We can't Bella! I'm meant to be your guardian." His tone held a slight whine of desperation. I kissed and licked down his chest as I answered. Never had I felt so powerful, so majestic, as I did in my current position. "Do you want me?" I asked looking him square in the eye.

If he could give me a straight answer of no then I would leave, but somehow I knew that he wouldn't. No _couldn't_, do it.

He looked conflicted, "I...um...no?"

I raised my eyebrows managing to hold back the triumphant grin that threatened to spread over my face and dragged my lips over his belly button pausing only to dip my tongue in it. I wasn't sure where my confidence was coming from but I was starting to like it. Maybe Alice really was rubbing off on me.

"Really? Well your body must not have gotten the memo." I whispered huskily, my eyes darting to his erect cock that was straining through his sleep pants. He swallowed audibly as our gazes clung to one another, holding us in its hypnotizing embrace.

I started to pull down his sleep pants when he grabbed my wrist, "Bella, no." His face was stern and commanding and in every other instance I would have backed down, but this... I just couldn't.

Not when I had worked so hard to get this far. I used the hand he wasn't holding and yanked down his sleep pants, releasing his cock. I looked at it mesmerized. It looked so much bigger when it was right in front of me. I could see a bead of pre-cum glistening on the swollen pink head of it.

His grip on my wrist loosened and I looked up at him steadily, "Tell me Edward... What were you thinking I was doing to you when you were masturbating?"

His face colored, but he let go of my wrist. "You had your mouth on me." He whispered.

I raised my eyebrows, "Like this?" I asked and lowered my head and licked the tip.

His hips bucked upwards, "Yes." He hissed through clenched teeth, "And I was fucking your mouth."

I moaned, God, he had a dirty mouth. I took the tip of his cock in my mouth and sucked hard just like Alice had told me to. I then slid as much of him as I could into my mouth and wrapped my hand around the base. "Fuck." He muttered as I started bobbing up and down around him, letting my tongue smooth over the ridges of him.

It was so strange how it was so soft, yet so hard and hot at the same time. My teeth accidentally scraped up him and I was afraid that I had hurt him, but his response told me that it was actually a good thing.

He clutched the sheets on either side of him while his hips trembled from keeping still. I scraped my teeth up the length of him again and he responded by grunting and gritting his teeth. "Bella...fuck... you have to stop, I'm not going to last long."

I just looked up at him and carried on. There was no way I was leaving from my current position until he came. I had waited too long for this not to happen. His hips bucked upwards hitting the back of my throat and I swallowed convulsively around him to stop myself from choking. He let out a strained groan. "Bella...I'm going to...fuck!"

He arched his back and threw his head against the pillows as he stiffened even more inside my mouth before coming hard, shooting his cum straight down my throat. It came so suddenly that I just swallowed all of it without thinking, because hell, what else could I do with it?

I finished swallowing and was thankful that I had managed not to gag on him and do something embarrassing like throw up.

I crawled up his body slowly, almost cautiously, and waited for him to catch his breath wondering if he had enjoyed it. His eyes flickered open and he blinked a few times, "Um...wow Bella."

I smiled.

He liked it.

He brought my head down and kissed me gently, "That was amazing." He murmured against my lips. We kissed for a few minutes just enjoying the feeling of each other's lips against each other, not progressing or stepping back, just being.

His hands snaked back up my top and started palming my breasts again. I whimpered and shifted on top of him wishing fervently that he wouldn't stop this time. I was so wet that I was surprised that it wasn't dripping down my thighs and I really needed some relief. He rolled my nipples between his fingers before plucking them eliciting a small gasp from my mouth.

The frenzy that had died down came back with a vengeance as he sat up detaching his lips from mine long enough to pull my top over my head. He stared down at my breasts with open lust and I blushed and covered them, trying to hide them from his view.

"Please don't stare, I don't like them." I whispered suddenly feeling embarrassed and insecure about their small size.

He looked at me, his eyes blazing with lust and passion. "Bella, I never want to hear you say that you don't like any part of your body ever again. You are perfect." I blushed at his compliment and let my arms fall back by my sides. He bent his head down and took one of my hard nipples into his mouth, sucking and licking it.

I let my eyes roll back into my head as the wet heat surrounded my nipple making any kind of response other than a whimper impossible. I grasped onto his hair pulling him closer to me wanting and needing more. I had never gotten past second base with a boy, and the feeling of his mouth on my breast was like heaven.

He switched sides and started lathering my neglected nipple with the same attention. I gasped and rolled my hips into his, seeking friction desperately.

"Please...Edward...I...More...Fuck!" I pushed my hips into him harder to try and tell him without words what I so desperately needed.

He rolled us over so that he was above me and pulled down my shorts and panties in one swift movement. He sat up and leaned back on his haunches. He parted my legs skimming his fingers along my overheated my thighs and groaned at what he saw, "You wax?" He asked in a low, husky voice that sent shivers through me.

I bit my lip and nodded silently thanking Alice for pushing me to get it done. He bent his head between my legs and licked my pussy in one upward stroke.

My back arched off the bed, "Holy fuck!" I exclaimed.

He chuckled at my reaction sending vibrations through me and started licking and sucking me in earnest. The sight of his hair peeking up at me from between my thighs was more than I could take. The times I had fantasized about this happening did not do it any justice...at all.

I don't know when I started, but my hips started thrusting upwards against his face. I let my head fall back and my eyes close as I wrapped my hands in his hair refusing to let him move an inch and just enjoyed the sensation of him between my legs. It was like my whole body had been lit on flames and it was getting hotter and hotter.

The coil in my stomach was tightening and my breaths were coming out in gasps.

"Oh God Edward...Oh God...Yes!" I panted and hissed out trying to tell him just how good it felt.

He shifted slightly bringing one of his hands up and parting my lips with his fingers and pushed a finger into my opening.

My eyes snapped open and I felt the cord that was wound up tight snap. I arched my back and clenched down around his finger. I screamed in pleasure while he carried on lapping up the juices flowing from me. My muscles spasmed and the world erupted around me in a flash of flames and sparks. Before I had felt like I was swimming in pleasure, but now it was like I was drowning in it.

It was like the waves had pushed me downwards and I was being yanked down by the currents as they bashed against my chest.

A thick fog enclosed around my mind as I sunk into the depths of bliss.

When the fog that had been pressing down on me finally lifted I opened my eyes slowly feeling relaxed and calm, because hot damn I have never had such an intense orgasm in my life.

He climbed up my body until we were eye level and looked down at me," Bella?" He asked.

I looked up at him lazily."Yeah?"

He had a particular expression on his face like he was calculating something, "Are you a virgin?"

I bit my lip and answered slowly, "Yes."

I had never factored my virginity to be a problem. I mean he was a doctor.

He sighed, "Bella, we shouldn't do this, it's wrong." I huffed, he had to be joking. I grabbed his head and kissed him hard before pulling back and looking him straight in the eye, "Edward, if this is wrong, then I don't want to be right." I said it with as much conviction as I could muster.

He sighed again, "I just don't want you to regret this in the morning."

I rolled my eyes, "If I may remind you, I was the one that seduced you."

"I know but..." I put a finger over his mouth, "Stop thinking so much."

He nodded, leaned down and kissed me deeply. He positioned himself between my legs and I was so glad Edward had put me on the pill when I turned sixteen. Condoms would have totally ruined the mood. "Are you ready?" He asked quietly.

I nodded and tried to relax myself. I opened my legs wider so his frame could fit easier in between my legs and he pushed forwards slowly stretching and filling me, all the while keeping eye contact with me. He stopped when he reached my barrier.

"It will only hurt for a second honey, just hold onto me and I will stop whenever you want me to. Okay?"

I nodded slightly and wrapped my arms around his chest. He leaned down and placed a small kiss on my neck before biting it causing me to gasp, completely distracting me from the task at hand.

He quickly pushed into me, breaking my hymen. "Owwww..." I cried out in pain as he broke my barrier in one swift movement, but I was also glad he'd done it quickly rather than edging in.

He stopped moving and started kissing my neck and slid his hand up and down my leg trying to distract me. My breathing was hard and heavy and my eyes were slammed shut as I tried to get past the pain.

"I'm sorry, honey," He murmured into my ear.

I felt a tear that I had been suppressing fall down my cheek, but I could feel the horrible burning fade slightly. I let out a big gust of air and opened my eyes.

"It's okay, I... you can... "I stuttered. He leaned back and looked intently into my face, truly making sure I was okay. It hurt, I couldn't pretend that it didn't, but it also felt good now. It felt right. I felt the pain continue to slowly ebb away, being replaced by pleasure.

"Are you sure, honey?" He asked uncertainly though I could tell by his tense posture that he really wanted to move.

I nodded and thrust my hips up experimentally causing his eyes to roll back into his head in pleasure. He bent his head down and captured my mouth in a passionate kiss before starting to thrust inside me.

It took a while for us to find a rhythm that worked for the both of us, but when we did it felt so good.

"God Bella, you're so tight." He murmured against my lips. He started to quicken his pace up and I couldn't help the moans and whimpers that escaped my mouth. My breaths were coming in sharp gasps and I was sweating so much that my hair was sticking to my forehead.

I could feel our skin slipping and sliding against each other, but I wasn't grossed out by it. Everything just felt natural like I had always been meant to do it.

"Oh...Edward." I moaned, wrapping my legs tightly around his waist and letting my head fall back against the pillow as I felt him enter me even deeper than before. God, if I knew sex felt this good I would have seduced him ages ago.

He groaned as he thrust harder inside me than before. I could feel the coil in my stomach winding up tightly again and I relished in the fact that my orgasm would be caused by him being inside me.

"Oh God Edward...I'm so close." I whimpered, needing something more to push me off the edge.

He slid one of his hands down my stomach and slipped it between my legs and started rubbing my clit. The coil inside me was at its snapping point as he continued to thrust into me and I could feel myself starting to tighten around him, "That's it Bella...come for me."

The thrusting teamed with his words was all the encouragement I needed and I fell off the edge clenching and convulsing as he kept up the pace of his thrusting. I arched my back and screamed his name at the top of my lungs.

"Fuck! That's it honey...Fuck Bella...I love you."

I felt like I was floating as I came down from my high and I closed my eyes so that the feeling would last longer. I felt him come above me, shuddering as he came. I went over the words he had said as he came. Did he really just say he loved me?

We lay there for awhile trying to catch our breaths until he pulled his head back and looked down at me, "Are you okay?" He asked. His voice husky. I could see his arms shaking from having to hold up his weight for so long.

I pulled him down so that he was resting his weight on me and kissed him lovingly and gently, "I'm better than okay." I said my voice slightly hoarse.

He rolled over taking me with him so that I was on top of him instead of the other way round.

"Did you mean it when you said you loved me?" I asked quietly, feeling the hope shine in my voice. He pushed my sweaty bangs to the side and kissed my nose his eyes shining and dancing, "What's not to love? You're pretty, smart and your cooking rivals Martha Stewart."

I blushed but couldn't help the shit eating grin that spread across my face. I buried my head into his neck, "I love you too." I yawned and snuggled up to him more while he stroked my hair.

"Don't think this is all over missy. We are going to have a long talk in the morning."

I smiled against his chest. Like that would stop me from doing this again.

**AN: Well wasn't that good? As it's my birthday I expect all of you to review and don't bother trying to lie to me because I know how many story alerts I have and I will be counting. lol.**


	12. Complicated Conflictions

**AN: Thank you guys for all the birthday wishes and the reviews! I got over a hundred for this one chapter! You made my birthday one of the best ever and I even managed to reply to nearly all of them, which in itself is a miracle! A late happy Birthday to notawriter25 who's birthday was on Wednesday****.**

** Happy birthday to anyone who had a birthday this week and to all Scorpio's. For those who have been with me since I wrote First Time-the original one shot-you finally get to know what happened afterwards. The months must have killed you. It was originally going to be completely different, but things changed and this came to me and then it just kept going and going and going... Don't get too used to these long chapters and early updates okay? A lot of things had to happen. Anywho... Just go easy on Edward...for me, please. Also thanks to dirtypillowtalk for beta'ing this monster really quickly.**

Complicated Conflictions

My body lay contentedly among the sheets as I was slowly drawn out of my sleep by the sun hitting and warming my face. I felt like I was lying in a bed of feathers and if I opened my eyes that they would be floating everywhere before getting tangled in my hair.

I slowly peeled my eyes open and blinked rapidly as the sun poured through the window and into my eyes.

I had never slept so peacefully in my life. I wiped my hand across my mouth to get rid of the slobber that was pooling onto the pillow beneath my head. Somehow I couldn't find it in myself to find it gross. I let out a small yawn and stretched my hands above my head and curled my toes as my eyes fluttered back shut.

I winced as pain shot through my thighs. What the...Suddenly everything that had occurred the night before came rushing back to me. My eyes popped open as images flashed through my mind.

The sucking.

The licking.

The biting.

The sweat.

The moans.

The feel of him moving inside me.

Filling me.

Stretching me.

My eyes immediately scanned around me to see where he was, my heart beating furiously in my chest as a dark blush spread over me. He sat next to me on top of the sheets, his sleep pants riding low on his hips showing his pelvis, his arms crossed over his chest and his head tilted upwards as he stared at the ceiling.

His jaw was clenched tightly and I could tell by the stiff posture his held that he wasn't happy. At all. I was sure he could feel my eyes boring a hole into his head, but he was blatantly ignoring me. A sense of dread filled me and I peeked up at him from under my eyelashes.

"How much trouble am I in?" I asked quietly, almost meekly. If I thought his blatant show of ignoring me was bad then to see the piercing darkness that stabbed me as his eyes lowered until our eyes were level felt like someone had just jammed a butter knife into my chest.

_I fucked up_. That was the only thing I could think as his furious eyes stared and probed into mine until he finally looked away.

"What the fuck were you thinking last night Bella?" He demanded harshly.

"If, in fact, you were thinking," he added.

I gathered the sheets closer around my naked body feeling exposed and vulnerable as I tried to keep the tears back.

I didn't know how to answer without breaking into tears so I just kept silent and tried to hide behind my hair.

He let out a frustrated sigh making his body sink back against the headboard as he raked a hand roughly through his literally fucked up hair. His gaze softened as he took in my defeated pose and he lifted my head up with his fingers on my chin.

"Do you realize just how stupid it was for you to do that?" He asked in a strained, soft voice and I could see the raging conflict going on behind his eyes. "I'm eighteen." I whispered weakly just wanting to run with my tail between my legs back into my room and spend the rest of my life wallowing.

He closed his eyes briefly, pain etched into his face before he shook his head slowly.

"Do you know the exact time you were born?" He asked and I frowned because I didn't. I don't think anyone knew the exact time they were born unless they looked at their birth certificate.

"No." I said confused. He nodded his lips stretching into a thin line. He looked away from me and out of the window. "As far as any court, lawyer or cop is concerned you were actually seventeen when..." He trailed off and swallowed hard before continuing.

"You were born at seven thirteen in the morning Bella. When...what we did last night or this morning was illegal. You were still seventeen. It is your birth_day. _If anyone found out about last night, I could lose my license and be jailed for...pedophilia and molestation."

The seriousness of the situation I had put us in dawned on me and quickly tried to grasp at straws. "But...but I seduced you, not the other way around." I spluttered. He sighed again and looked back at me. His face was blank, empty; it was completely devoid of any and all emotion.

"It wouldn't matter if it was consensual. You would be the minor and I would be the adult. I'm the one that should have known better than to do something so...reckless and stupid." He gripped his hair in his hands and bowed his head so that I couldn't see his face anymore.

It hurt to think that what I thought was the best night of my life was considered reckless and stupid, but I had more important things to worry about. I hesitantly lay a hand on his shoulder ignoring the way he flinched slightly.

"It's going to okay." I tried to soothe.

"No one is going to know or find out." Apart from Alice, but I'll introduce that subject delicately later on. My efforts were fruitless because we both knew that he worked himself up by over thinking and analyzing every little aspect of what had happened. The only one who could get through to him when he was like this was Esme and she wasn't here.

He pushed himself out of my grip and off the bed and started walking towards his en suite. "You're right, they aren't. But what happened last night Bella...it...it can't happen again." His voice was low and if I hadn't been so in tune with him I doubt I would have been able to hear him.

I felt like someone was squeezing my heart tightly in their hand. I couldn't breathe and I felt dizzy. Can't happen again? But he said he loved me? Had he lied or was it just one of those things people say when they're in the moment?

"Do you regret it?" I managed to choke out, my mouth working faster than my brain. He paused in the doorway and leaned his head on it while letting out a bleak laugh.

"If only it was that easy." He muttered to himself. He turned his face towards me and balled his hands into fists. I stared into his agonized, conflicted eyes trying to see deep into his soul, his mind, anything that could give me a hint that it hadn't been one-sided.

"No." He finally responded. "I don't. I wanted it so badly that I didn't try and stop it. I could have stopped it and done the right thing, but I was so fucking selfish." Shame clouded his eyes as they begged me to understand what he was saying.

"I wanted it for so long." He murmured so quietly it was almost a whisper. His eyes closed and he turned his face into the wood of the doorframe. "To feel your skin under my fingers, your lips caressing mine, to hear you cry my name as _I _gave you more pleasure than you could dream of..."

He trailed off and swallowed back some emotion. "It's so wrong and yet I can't help myself. It's like your very being calls to me, begs me to touch you and I'm defenseless to stop it. I should feel bad, I should feel guilty, but I can't find it in myself to be in the least bit remorseful. What my parents would think of me now...God you can't even comprehend the immense fuckery that my head is going through right now."

I moved until I was on my knees ignoring the pain in my thighs as I drew the sheets around me. This wasn't solely about me. This was about us and he was denying the one thing we both wanted so badly. It was because of that I managed to force the next question out of my mouth.

"Did you mean it when you said you loved me?" I tried to say it firmly, but my voice wavered, trembling at the thought of what his answer might be. We were balancing dangerously on the tip of a knife. One false move and everything would be over.

He turned to me fully and seemed to search me eyes for something. "Yes." He said simply.

"I just...I'm so fucking confused right now Bella. I've always loved you and wanted to care for you, but now I want everything. I want every part of you to belong to me, to be mine and only mine. I want to show you_ physically _just how much I love you. I've spent so long denying myself and seeing you as a sister that to see you as my lover registers as...I don't know it just makes me feel weird, like I should recoil from the very thought, but I don't and I can't understand why."

I tried to take a step back and really try and think of this from his point of view. He had spent so long denying himself and forcing himself to see me as a sister that it was hard for him to break that mold. I could kind of understand where he was coming from. It wasn't like he could just wake up and go 'hey, sister be my lover.'

I had the same problem when I first started having more sexual and wanting feelings towards him. I tried to convince myself it was wrong, but it just didn't register to me as wrong. I knew everyone else would think it was wrong and I think that was the main reason that held me back for so long.

I focused back on his ramblings that were still leaving his mouth,"... and this is so wrong. I shouldn't feel what I feel for you..." Fed up with his continual denial I slid off the bed and walked steadily to where he stood. Before he could say anything or even think about saying anything I covered my mouth with his and wound my hands into his hair.

He froze under my touch and I moved my lips and pulled his bottom lip into my mouth to try and coax a reaction out of him. If he thought he could push me away with words or his own insecurities he was wrong. I needed him to admit to himself that he wanted me as a whole. Not just my brains or my character, but my body also.

Just as I was about to pull in defeat and ask him what exactly his problem was with this when he hesitantly moved his lips against mine. I opened my eyes surprised and saw him looking at me. I could still see the conflict, but it had faded somewhat. He pulled back and cupped my cheek in his hand and rested the other on my hip.

He leaned his forehead against mine and briefly closed his eyes, a frown wrinkling his forehead as he drew his bottom lip into his mouth. He let out a long breath fanning his hot, spicy breath over my face as his eyes flickered back open.

"Bella, I know this is hard for you to understand, but can you just give me a little time to come to terms with everything. My head is killing me by going round in circles trying to figure everything out and I just need a little time to clear my head. All I am asking is for one day, okay? I'm not trying to push you away, I just need time."

I hesitated wondering if he was going to over think and convince himself that this whole relationship that we were trying was a mistake, but one look into his softened me. I couldn't force him to choose me; I had to let him come to me on his own. I sighed heavily and took a step back.

"Okay." If he needed time, I would give him time. What was one day compared to living eternity without him? He relaxed, "Thank you." He placed a kiss on my forehead before stepping back.

"If we want to get to Seattle anytime before lunch then we better get ready." He said. I nodded and pulled the sheets tighter around as I turned and slipped out of the room. I wasn't sure if it was too early to gloat and feel elated by the fact that me and Edward had been together intimately or not, but as I looked at myself in the mirror of my bathroom I couldn't help but let a grin spread across my face.

_I did it!_

A giggle escaped my mouth as I tried to release all the tangles out of my hair with my brush. I looked like I have been thoroughly fucked and that wasn't an accusation I was going to deny. I thought back to my nervousness the night before and practically rolled my eyes at myself.

I could see my eyes dancing in the mirror with more happiness and amusement than I thought I would get or receive. I felt like I was about to break out into song and start dancing like I was in a musical and the thought of me dancing sent another round of giggles out of me. I switched the shower on and dropped the sheet on the floor and looked myself over.

I could see a faint red mark on my neck and a blush flushed my skin as I touched the tender skin of my hickey.

He marked me.

Looking at my nude body I felt different, more confident. I held myself higher, my back was straighter and for the first time ever I felt like a woman, an adult.

It wasn't long before I could feel the room heating up with steam and I climbed slowly into the shower, careful of the soreness that I was experiencing. The spray of the hot water on my skin was like a God send and I tilted my head back to get the full effect of the warmth it gave me.

I closed my eyes and glided my hand over my collarbone and down over my breast to my stomach trying to relive every moment from last night, each touch that he placed on my body. I felt...well I guess the only word to really describe how I was feeling was glorious.

I hummed to myself as I washed my hair and body just relaxing and taking my time before getting out. I plugged in my blow dryer and thought about how I would do my hair today. If I put it up then you would be able to see my new hickey. If I put it down then it blow everywhere and annoy the hell out of me. I decided to just do a quick twist and pin it up with a large clip.

Just as I was padding towards my closet wrapped in one of my soft, comfy towels my phone went off.

"Feeling alive all over again,  
As deep as the sky, under my skin  
Like being in love, she says  
For the first time  
Maybe I'm wrong,  
But I'm feeling right where I belong  
With you tonight  
Like being in love  
To feel for the first time"

I grinned and rolled my eyes knowing that Alice had obviously messed with her ringtone at one point last night.

I answered it quickly ready to gush about last night.

"Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Bella-who-is-no-longer-a-virgin-and-rocks-my-world, happy birthday to you." I laughed loudly at that and shook my head.

"Hey Al, what's up?"

"Skip the pleasantries and get down to the dirty deets." She said impatiently.

I rolled my eyes, "What exactly do you want to know?" I asked unable to contain the shit eating grin that spread across my face.

She squealed, "It worked! I knew it would. Oh ye of little faith. You should totally trust me more often. How was the sex? Did it hurt? You gave him a blowjob right? Did he reciprocate? How many orgasms did you have? Was it hard to convince him? How big is he? What happened after? Have you talked about it? Is there going to be a repeat performance? How do you feel..."

"Alice!" I yelled. When she got excited it took a hell of a lot to slow her down and get her to shut up. "Sorry, sorry, sorry. I'm just so excited. I can't breathe, I can't breathe. Where is my fucking inhaler?" I could hear things clanking and moving before a heavy intake of breath as she used her inhaler.

"Okay, I'm better now. I just need to relax. Who am I kidding? I can't relax so just spit it out. All of it. Leave nothing out. I want to know about every dimple on his ass, every freckle on his chest, and please don't leave out how big he was. I am living vicariously through you now Bella. Do not let me down!"

I rolled my eyes again at her theatrics, "You know if you shut up for five seconds I might actually be able to get a word in and tell you about it." I pointed out. She snorted, "Don't get technical with me. Just spill everything and wear a skirt today. I swear you won't regret it."

So being the pushover I was-yeah right- I told her everything. I spent a good fifteen minutes gushing about how good it was and how there was no way that it _wasn't_ happening again.

"I just never thought that it would feel like that, you know?" I explained as I rooted through my underwear drawer looking for a pair of panties that matched my mood. She hummed in agreement.

"I can't stop smiling, even after what happened this morning. I just...I don't know, but I keep giggling like a tween looking at pictures of shirtless celebrities."

"I am so happy for you B. Now explain, what happened this morning?" I sighed and shrugged as I pulled out a pair of lace pink panties that Alice had given me for my last birthday, but I hadn't bothered wearing them yet. I think it came with a matching bra.

"Before or after he explained that seducing him was stupid because he could get carted off to prison for pedophilia?" I asked wryly. She was silent for a second, "He really said that?" She asked like she couldn't quite believe and I was just going to go 'just kidding.'

"Yep." I said popping the 'p'. "I mean I kind of understand what he was getting at and we didn't really think the whole thing through because according to my birth certificate I was still seventeen when we did it, but I think we can work through that minor speed bump. I mean the only person who's going to know is you and you wouldn't tell anyone, right?"

"Of course! You have my word. I guess we should have thought a bit harder about the intricate details, but no one really thinks about those kinds of things. You worked it out right? He isn't like completely ignoring you or anything bad is he?"

"Nah." I said off-handedly. "He just asked me to give him the day to reevaluate his morals and the way he thinks. He's spent so long denying that he didn't like me in a more than platonic way that it's still kind of a shock to him, which I can completely understand. Do you remember the time I had my first sex dream with him in it? I was a complete mess after that."

She hummed in agreement, "Yeah, only the lure of chocolate got you out of bed that day." She snickered to herself before becoming serious again. "Are you sure it is wise to give time to think about this? I mean Edward is known for his tendency for over-reacting. He could be using the time you gave him to convince himself that it won't work."

I sighed, because that's what I feared also. "I know that Alice. But honestly, what can I do? I said I would give him time and he told me he wouldn't push me away. I truly believe that he wants to try this. He is just so conflicted by what society deems he should do."

I balanced the phone between my shoulder and ear as I opened my closet and looked for something to wear. As it was my birthday I would have to wear something different than usual, something more special. The thought of taking Alice's suggestion to wear a skirt seriously made me wrinkle my nose. Skirts weren't really my thing.

"Hmmm...Maybe you're right. You can't really force him to accept it off the bat. Oh, and you're definitely wearing a skirt, even if I have to come over and physically force you into it." How did she know I was going to ignore her suggestion? I pouted even though I knew she couldn't see me.

"Don't I get veto? I mean it is my birthday." She sighed. "Fine, wear whatever the hell you like." I paused for a second wondering why everyday couldn't be my birthday because as much as they didn't matter to me, if I could do and wear whatever the hell I wanted then it would be worth the unnecessary gifts and attention.

"Who are you and what did you do with my pushy best friend? ALICE! ALICE! Hang on I'm coming for you."

"Haha, you could be a comedian. I'll have you know that I am not pushy. I am just trying to help you find your true self hidden under your baggy clothes and shy attitude and if I have to do it by forcing you to do things then so be it. Also honey, the only person you should be coming for is Edward. I love you, but I don't rock that way."

I rolled my eyes and chuckled, "Whatever. I don't think I even own a skirt." Silence permitted through the phone before I heard the deep inhaling of her using her inhaler.

"If you weren't my best friend I would disown you just for speaking that very sentence. You should be glad we are going shopping today. I've even made a list of things you need. You do realize how convenient this is don't you? There was a specific reason I wanted you to wear a skirt. If we are going shopping then you need easy access clothes and you can also tease Edward all day. Why don't you wear that dress I gave you for Christmas last year instead?"

I wrinkled my nose and searched the back of my closet for it. I pulled it out and looked it over contemplating if I wanted to wear it. It was a light grey with thick white striped running across it. It was short sleeved and pretty laid back with an empire waistline.

It was kind of short, probably only reaching about one inch above the knee, but I'm sure I could just put a pair of skinny jeans under it. That way both Alice and me won, easy access be damned. I quickly hung up telling her that I had to finish getting ready and that we would be around to pick her up in an hour tops.

I sighed as I pulled the dress on over my head and found a pair of matching grey skinny jeans. I matched it with a white beaded necklace and matching earrings before sliding on my white chucks which to be honest were turning slightly grey.

I grabbed my overnight bag which I had packed with the Alice approved clothes and headed downstairs to the kitchen where I could smell pancakes. If there was anything that Edward was good at cooking it was Esme's famous blueberry pancakes.

My mouth was practically watering as I entered the kitchen and sat down on a bar stool opposite to where he was cooking.

"Please tell me that stack of pancakes are for me?" I said eyeing the growing pile. He raised his eyebrow as he looked over his shoulder at me an amused expression on his face. "No, actually I made them all for myself, there's cereal in the cabinet. Help yourself."

I rolled my eyes at him, but couldn't help smiling. I was glad that we could still be our usual casual selves without awkwardness.

"You are just so funny." I said sarcastically. "Now stop hogging the grub and fetch the maple syrup."

He did a mock salute, "Sir, yes sir." Then he disappeared into the pantry to retrieve the syrup. I just shook my head at him and went to grab two glasses from the cupboard and the orange juice from the fridge.

Except for the fact that Edward had obviously finished it and then just left it in the fridge so that he wouldn't have to fetch a new one from the pantry. Men are so damn lazy sometimes.

"Edward! How many times to I have to tell you not to put the juice back once you've finished it?" I closed the fridge with a huff and threw the empty carton in the bin before going into the pantry to fetch a new one.

Edward was at the back of it crouching low as he searched the shelves and without my consent my eyes wandered to his ass, which by the way was looking mighty fine today. Even clad in his jeans.

I somehow managed to tear my eyes away long enough to find a new carton which just happened to be above Edward. Seriously I was starting to think that God was trying to set us up. I mean all these coincidences and accidents were starting to look rather suspicious. I was going to have to have a talk with the Big Guy later on.

I leaned over Edward and tried to swipe it off the shelf. After nearly tripping over and falling onto him I managed to get it and step back just as Edward found the maple syrup and stood up and turned around. Time froze for a split second before slowly starting to restart.

It was like those commercials you see when things happen in slow motion and you can see every little detail as it happens. We stood there staring at each other, the light coming in stilted and shadowed. The tension crackled and fizzled around us and my mouth fell open slightly as my heart thumped loudly in my chest.

My chest heaved and I clutched the carton of orange juice tightly to my chest.

He rested his hands on the shelf on either side caging me in. "I don't think I can do this." He whispered. My heart stuttered as the possibilities of what his words meant. "Wha...What do you mean?" I asked swallowing tightly. He was so close I could feel his breath on my face.

"I need to wait, to think this out clearly, but then I see you...You've opened Pandora's Box and there is no going back. It's all I can do to control myself around you right now." My breath hitched as he moved one of his hands to stroke my cheek with the pad of his thumb.

He leaned in and buried his head in my neck inhaling deeply. "Fuck, you smell so good." I let out an embarrassing whimper and let one of hands rest on the nape of his neck, brushing through the small hairs. He planted a lingering kiss on my throat before moving upwards until our mouths connected making way to a smooth, easy kiss.

It was the kind of kiss that held promises, but no complications. It was just our mouths working against each other, no tongue, just...us. After a minute he pulled back.

"I'm sorry. I'm meant to be thinking today." I nodded my mind still slightly clouded and pulled my bottom lip into my mouth and between my teeth as it tingled. "It's okay." I murmured. He looked deep in my eyes before hesitating slightly and placed a chaste kiss on my lips.

"Tomorrow," he promised. I nodded, it couldn't come soon enough.

**AN: That was a long-ass chapter. Longest one yet. Remember to go easy on Edward. He's kind of confused and having trouble accepting everything he's been denying. I had pancakes for my birthday breakfast, but they were cinnamon, not blueberry. Review and don't be stingy!**


	13. Let Me Help

**AN: I know ya'll are disappointed with the lack of lemons *rolls eyes* Damn pervs lol. And it is with great regret that I must inform you that there will be no more until chapter 15. Sorry! Thanks for all the reviews, they were great! Happy Birthday Washingonian! Hope you have a great day! This chapter is dedicated to you! Thanks to dirtypillowtalk for looking at this for me.**

Let Me Help.

Edward's fingers tapped on the steering wheel in a tuneless rhythm as we drove to Alice's. There wasn't any music playing and I was surprised at how comfortable the silence was. No awkward tension or avoidances, just us sitting in his car.

His fingers paused before quickening and I counted down the seconds till the whole cycle started again.

Five...

Four...

Three...

Two...

On-

"I'm sorry," he blurted out. I discreetly rolled my eyes. It had been going on like this since we left the house. He kept apologizing and I just ignored him. "I shouldn't have kissed you. I'm sending you mixed signals when I asked you to give me space and I'm..."

"Will you stop apologizing?" I said interrupting his ramblings. There was only so much I could take of this before I slapped him across the head.

"It happened, you can't take it back and you know what? I'm not sorry you did it. So just drop it." I let out a huff and focused on the passing houses out of the window. He sighed and started tapping on the steering wheel again.

"I'm not sorry either," he murmured quietly. "I just have this nagging feeling that I should be apologizing, like I stepped out of line." I turned to look at him and tucked a stray hair behind my ear. This was the root of the problem.

Edward was trying to do things that were right by society's definition. That wasn't what I wanted. I knew I needed to have more patience, but he only had a limited amount of time to think about this and with the way it was going the result would not be positive.

"I don't want you to do or say what you think you should say. I want you to be you and do what you think you should do, not what everyone else thinks you should do." He sighed again and leaned back in his seat while running a hand through his hair.

"That's it though. That is the problem. I don't know who I am right now. I never thought that I would masturbate thinking about you. I never thought that I would have sex with you and I never thought that I would kiss you just because I felt like it, but I did it and I don't regret it.

"I've always played by the rules. I've never been arrested or even got a ticket. In college I would study instead of going out to parties. I've always done what was right by everyone else. I don't know any other way and what we have."

He pointed between us. "Is something so far reserved from everything I've ever done that I'm freaking out; I have never been one to take risks. I pay my taxes and my bills on time every year. I live a pretty simple life and now you've spun my whole world upside down. I'm stumped. I have no idea what to do and I'm questioning everything that I have ever done or felt. Was I really ever happy? Have I just been fooling myself by living a life with no real meaning? Who the fuck am I?"

He looked so lost and vulnerable that my heart ached for him.

It was obvious to me that he needed me more than he thought. I had made him start to question everything and it was making him stop just going through the motions and actually start living.

I wasn't the only one who had nightmares about being alone. His parents' death affected him more than he was willing to admit and I think that's why he welcomed me sleeping in his bed with him so easily.

He bore so much of the weight of their death on his shoulders, keeping it locked away, hidden from everyone. It was his natural defence system to push people away and keep to himself, but in the end I knew he wanted to be alone as much as I did.

"I can't tell you that. You are whoever you want to be. I know what it feels like to be lost Edward and I won't lie and say it's easy to figure that question out because it really isn't, but you don't need to do it alone. I am here for you every step of the way. If you just need someone to listen or need my help with anything I will be there for you. You once told me that we weren't alone and that we had each other so let me help you."

I looked up at him imploringly trying to show him with my gaze how serious I was. He swallowed thickly and nodded before looking away. "Thanks."

Just then we pulled up at Alice's house and I made a move to get out of the car when Edward stopped me. "Bella, does Alice know about...you know us?" I hesitated. I had hoped to ease into this subject delicately, but as soon as Alice arrived everything was likely to explode.

"Um...Yeah she helped me. I probably wouldn't have been done it if it weren't for her. I mean I'm not really the confident, self-assured type who has the balls to actually seduce a person, but she gave a push in the right direction." He nodded his face guarded.

"So does she know about what happened last week?" Ah, that wasn't something I really wanted to discuss right now. My silence must have been a conformation because he slumped over the steering wheel and groaned.

"And here I was thinking that my humiliation couldn't get any worse. You told her about last night as well didn't you?" I nodded, "Kind of. It isn't like she'll tell anyone. She's always known about my feelings for you." I bit my lip hoping he wouldn't react badly. He sighed, "Fine, it's not like I can do anything about it."

He sat back up and shrugged.

"You might want to go fetch her because she looks like she's about to explode." I looked out the window to see Alice grinning as she jumped up and down waving at me from her living room window. I nodded and stepped out of the car.

"I'm sorry I put you in this position." I said sadly. He shook his head.

"Don't be." He gave me a small smile and I made my way down the drive and through the front door. Before I could even open my mouth to call her she had grabbed my face between her hands and was looking over me with scrutinizing eyes.

"Awice, get owf me." I grumbled as she smooshed my cheeks together. After a minute she threw her arms around me and hugged me tight against her chest. I stood awkwardly in her grasp wondering what the hell she was on before she pulled back.

"You, Isabella, are finally a woman." She announced and I raised my eyebrows at her.

"What exactly was I before? Some kind of he/she?" She waved off my comment and went over to her huge suitcase.

"Alice we are going for one night, not two weeks." She ignored me and started lugging it towards the door. "You never know what you could need Bella." She reprimanded as she tried to get it out of the door.

"Fuck, I forgot my notebook upstairs. Could you please get it for me?" She gave me her puppy dog eyes and I rolled mine and went upstairs to grab it. I noticed as I came back outside Edward and Alice were having some sort of conversation as Edward put her suitcase in the trunk.

He was shaking his head with a mixture of amusement and frustration on his face while she had her arms folded across her chest. I could only see the back of her, but I hoped she wasn't laying into him or anything.

"What are you guys talking about?" I asked suspiciously as I walked over. Alice turned around and beamed at me. "Nothing of great importance," she chimed and took her notebook before disappearing into the car. I raised my eyebrows at Edward who just simply rolled his eyes and shook his head silently telling me to drop it.

I sighed hating being left out of the loop and got into the back seat.

Seeing as Alice had claimed the front seat- I guess it being my birthday doesn't make that much of a difference-I lay sprawled out along the length of it with my overnight bag under my head as a pillow. I stretched and yawned loudly as I got comfortable.

Alice peered over the front seat at me.

"Are you going to sleep?" She asked amusement clear in her voice.

"I'm tired," I defended.

"I wonder what wore you out...or should I say who?" She snickered like she had just said the funniest joke in the whole world.

Just then Edward got in and started the car up.

"What's so funny?" He asked and then looked over at me with a confused expression. "Why are you going to sleep?" He asked which just made Alice laugh harder.

She slapped her knee gleefully. "Oh God...You two...Can't breathe." She rooted around in her handbag-if you could even call it that, as it was the size of my overnight bag- and pulled out her inhaler.

She took a long drag and held it for a minute before breathing out slowly. She shook her head wryly.

"I swear I have not used this so much in my life." She waved her inhaler at us to make sure we knew what she was talking about before dumping it back in her bag. She rubbed her hands together excitedly as Edward pulled off the curb and started down the road.

"We need music!" She exclaimed and pulled out her ipod. Edward shook his head and gave her a condescending look.

"There is no way in hell I am listening to your bubblegum pop music." She folded her arms over her chest, "What do you suggest we listen to? Because there is no way in hell _or_ heaven I am going to listen to your Seattle grunge and alternative emo crap music. We want happy music, something uplifting, not The Smiths or whatever you listen to."

Edward scoffed at her, "Oh please Justin Bieber and Britney Spears are not uplifting. They make me want to drill my eardrums with a screwdriver. That shit is not music and it is not uplifting. Just the very thought of _others_ listening to it is making me depressed. As far as I'm concerned half the world is tone deaf and stupid."

"I don't listen to either of those." Alice defended even though I happened to know she had both on her iPod.

"Liar," I coughed from the back.

She spun around in her seat and narrowed her eyes at me. "I thought you were asleep," she said accusingly while I looked back at her innocently.

"I was trying to, but you guys are practically shouting in the front seat about music so here," I threw my iPod at her. "Put my music on and shut up."

I lay back down comfortably and closed my eyes as they continued to squabble quietly in the front seat about what was and wasn't decent music.

I'm not sure how long I was asleep for, but when I woke up; Alice was singing along loudly along to the Black Eyed Pea's _My Humps_ while Edward looked ready to strangle her and bury her remains in the forest. I sat up and leaned between the seats.

"How much further?" I asked yawning and stretching before moving to wrap my arms around the driver's seat and resting my chin on it.

"We're just outside Seattle." Edward replied and winced as Alice sung off key. "How the hell do you put up with her for long periods of time?" He asked me quietly while shooting looks at her to make sure she hadn't heard. I snickered in amusement.

"Just 'hmm' and 'ahh' in the right places and tune her out. As long as she thinks you're actually listening to her then you're good. It takes practice." He snorted loudly and Alice looked over at us with narrowed eyes. "I don't know what you guys are talking about, but don't forget I'm watching you."

"Hmm..." I murmured and Edward started chuckling. "Despite what you think Alice, the whole world doesn't revolve around you and your bad taste in music." She rolled her eyes at him. "We are not starting _that_ again. Let's say that we both have our own kind of tastes in music and leave it at that."

Edward shrugged, "Fine, be delusional. Who am I to stop you?"

Silence permitted the car again and I noticed that Edward had started up his annoying tapping again.

"So...What are the plans for the day?" I asked as I knew that between the two of them that the day would be completely filled.

"We're going shopping first." Alice stated like I didn't already know. I rolled my eyes at her.

"I'll probably do some shopping of my own while you two strip the city of any and all good things." Edward added.

"Then we'll stop for lunch around one at a restaurant of your choosing." That was Alice.

"There is a new art exhibit at the museum that I thought we could check out after that." Alice wrinkled her nose at Edward's suggestion, but I liked it and nodded for them to continue with the schedule. "After Edward's done boring you to death we'll do more shopping, while Edward checks into the hotel with all our stuff."

"Then," Edward carried on; "I'll text you my room number so you know where to find me and I'll give you the key when you get back so you can get ready for dinner." I was starting to think that they had worked out who was saying what because Alice immediately picked up from where Edward left off.

"We'll go to dinner, give you your presents, go back to the hotel to drop off all the crap we give you and head down to Electric Vibe to do some clubbing." They both seemed rather pleased with what they had organized and I took a second to mull over it all.

"Hmmm...Wait! Did you say clubbing? You both know I can't dance." Alice rolled her eyes.

"That's why Edward is coming along. So he can help you not trip over yourself and buy us drinks."

Edward's head whipped towards Alice and I could see the horror on his face. "Um...What? No, no, no, no. There is no way in hell I am stepping into a club, especially to buy two underage girls drinks."

"But, Edward!" Alice wailed, really overdoing it. "It's Bella's birthday." She shot me a look and I decided to step up to the plate. "Please, Edward." I said using my husky voice that I had discovered last night. I ran a hand through his hair and gave him a light pout.

"Please baby, for me." I widened my eyes to look extra sincere before running my tongue over my bottom lip. It seemed that Alice had been right about me having an inner vixen because Edward's pupils dilated and he squirmed uncomfortably.

"Bella," he whined. "You can't do that. It's unfair." I grinned and slumped back into my seat actually kind of surprised that it had worked. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Fine. I'll go, but the two of you have to behave. No messing with me, okay?"

I felt kind of bad now for messing with him when he was trying to sort his head out. "Sorry." I apologized and he just shook his head.

"Something tells me that this is going to be a _long_ day," he muttered and I couldn't agree more.

**AN: Just so you know I personally have nothing against Britney Spears or Justin Bieber-okay maybe Bieber, but that's just a personal preference. I also listen to a lot of 'Alternative emo crap' so no harm meant there either. Lol. Also there probably won't be a chapter next week, it being Thanksgiving and all. It just depends. I do have two one shots coming out next week for Christmas so put me on author's alert if you want some nice Christmas smut. Review!**


	14. The Birthday

**AN: Thanks for the reviews and happy really late Hanukkah and Merry pretty early Christmas!This chapter was a challenge because I had to get the whole day into it because I promised that there would be a lemon in chapter fifteen. With that in mind I finally decided to do small snapshots of what I thought were the more important parts. Sorry it took so long to get out. It took forever to write and then my poor beta got sick. But its here and I've already finished the next chapter. Thanks dirtypillowtalk for beta'ing this for me!**

The Birthday

I crammed as much of the burger I could into my mouth at once and chomped away at it. I closed my eyes and let out a moan. I could taste the grease, the preservatives, and all those other unhealthy things that will eventually clog up your arteries and kill you. Heaven! I was brought out of my grease induced bliss by Alice.

"Did you really have to choose this place out of all the restaurants and cafes in Seattle?" she grumbled. I rolled my eyes internally as I watched her poke at the chicken salad that she had ordered. "Alice, when was the last time you went to the gloriousness that was McDonalds?" she shrugged and picked up a strip of chicken, "long enough to know that this will give me spots and a heart attack."

Edward snorted and shook his head while shoving fries into his mouth. Alice huffed and narrowed her eyes at him, "You of all people should know how unhealthy this is, you're a doctor," she accused, jabbing her finger in Edward's direction. He shrugged unperturbed, "Yes, but I haven't had McDonald's since college and I'm allowed to indulge ever so often in unhealthy things. You just have to balance it out."

She picked up a limp leaf of lettuce and looked at it disdainfully.

"Do you think there's any way I could swap this for a burger?"

* * *

_"Picasso's Blue Period consists of somber paintings rendered in shades of blue and blue-green, only occasionally warmed by other colors. This period's starting point is uncertain; it may have begun in Spain in the spring of..."_

I tuned out the drone of one of the guides as they ushered a group of tourists past where me and Edward were standing. Alice had decided to go get some last minute 'necessities' for the day saying that she didn't have the time to be-and I'm quoting this- "bored out of her mind by dull paintings." Have I mentioned just how simply delightful she can be sometimes?

Then again, I guess art wasn't for everyone. I glanced over at Edward who seemed completely focused on the picture at hand. His eyebrows were furrowed together and a completive look on his face. I smiled to myself wondering what he could be thinking.

"What are you thinking so hard about? You look like you're trying to figure out the answer to life's problems."

He looked startled, my voice obviously breaking him out of his thoughts. His face flushed slightly and he reflexively clenched and unclenched his fingers.

"Us," he said simply and I nodded slowly.

"How's that coming along?" I asked shooting him a playful smile. He let out a small chuckle and rubbed the back of his neck. His eyes drifted back to the painting as he answered. "I don't think I can honestly answer that question without confusing myself more," he said wryly. We were quiet for a few moments before he spoke again, this time in a hushed voice with a tinge of desperation laced into it.

"I'm trying though. I just..." He let out another sigh before falling silent.

I moved my hand and brushed it up against his. He looked up at me and I smiled at him before moving past him, only pausing to place my hand on the small of his back and whisper in his ear, "that's all I'm asking for."

* * *

Alice sat on the bed looking at me contemplatively as I looked back at her through the mirror as I applied some lip gloss.

"What?" I asked frowning. I wondered if I had something on face, but it came up clean when I checked in the mirror. She shook her head. "Nothing, it's just that...well ever since you hooked up with Edward you seem different." I grinned at her not able to help it. It was just an automatic response to mentioning Edward's name with mine.

It seemed like so long ago that I was trying so hard to get his attention. He was mine. It was something I still had trouble wrapping my head around.

I knew we still had some talking to do, but I was pretty confident that everything would fall nicely into place. I sighed contentedly and focused my attention back Alice.

"I feel different. It's like before last night I was just a kid drifting through life, but now I feel like a confident woman who can get what she wants. It's as if I've finally seen myself clearly for the first time and you know what...I'm pretty hot." I burst into giggles at that. Alice joined me before talking again.

"See? You never used to giggle like that. It's like a switch has been flipped inside you." I nodded agreeing completely with her. I turned and threw myself on the bed next to her, lying on my back.

"I know, I feel that I can finally be happy without reservations or a pessimistic attitude. I've lived my life hoping for this kind of happiness, this completeness, and it was under my nose this whole time. I took a chance with him and it was so worth it. As cliché and cheesy as it sounds, he is my other half, that part I thought I would never find." I paused to think for a second.

"I thought that I would live with a sense of loss inside me." I took a deep, steadying breath as I continued. "I mean after what happened with my mom, Renee, I kind held onto the fact that maybe somewhere deep down I deserved to be treated the way I was."

I held up my hand as she opened her mouth to stop her from interrupting me.

"I know that I didn't. It's just one of my many insecurities. I've felt for so long that maybe I didn't deserve to be happy, that I should be punished. I never realized how untrue and stupid thinking like that was until he was there on top of me, inside me, staring down into my eyes that I knew. I just knew that he was what I had been unknowingly waiting for all this time and it was me, the shy, awkward girl that took him. I put myself out there and grasped on to him tightly refusing to let go and he said yes, _to me_. He wanted me just the way I was. I worked for it and I got it."

I wiped a stray tear away and carried on. "My life has never been simple. All my insecurities have held me back from getting what I wanted and when I finally pushed past them I found something great and all I can think is 'I did it'. I took a chance and I found love."

I lay quietly for a second before sitting up and wiping away all traces of tears and wiping them on my dress that Alice had insisted look fabulous. It was a royal blue and strapless and fell just above my knee.

As much as I would deny it when asked I had actually had a really fun time shopping with Alice. Just messing around and having fun. The art exhibit had been beautiful, full of color and creative outlet.

The day had been full of lovely surprises, especially at dinner when the presents came out. Alice had given me enough clothes to start a new closet- how she managed to get all the stuff into the restaurant is a mystery to me.

Edward had given me the new Mac book, which he said was for college seeing as I was going next year. I sighed knowing that was one of the things we were going to talk about in the morning.

"I think that is enough fluff for now," I said. "Alice, say something mean about me." She squinted at me for a second before going, "You look like a panda has taken over your face?" She poised it as a question and I rolled my eyes and went to fix my make-up. I had officially snapped out of my little emotional episode and I was going to have a good time tonight.

* * *

I felt happy, slightly buzzed but happy. Somehow Alice had managed to persuade Edward to buy us alcohol seeing as it was my birthday - a card I seemed to be using to the full. Alice, after a lot of coaxing, had gone off to dance without me, leaving me and Edward to drink in companionable silence. Not that you could actually hear something over the deafening music.

I moved my seat closer to Edward's as I stared wistfully out to where Alice was having the time of her life.

"Why don't you go dance?" Edward asked, his mouth close enough to my ear that I shivered as his breath hit my skin. I shook my head before looking at him, an idea forming in my head. I leaned close to him, resting my hand on his thigh, "Only if you dance with me."

He shook his head, "You know I can't dance." I shrugged, "Neither can I. We can both suck together. Come on, it's my birthday." I wheedled. He rolled his eyes, "I really can't wait until this day is over, so you can stop using that fact against me. You used to hate your birthday. What happened?"

I grinned at him, "Alice happened."

He nodded in understanding, "Yeah, why are you friends with that freak again?" I smacked his shoulder and he held up his hands defensively. "Hey, what did I say?"

"Stop making fun of my friend and come dance with me."

I grabbed his hand and dragged him along behind me, the loud music drowning out his whining. I stopped at the edge of the dance floor and turned to him.

"Come on, it's easier than it looks." He stood awkwardly across from me as I moved along with the beat so I grabbed his hands and placed them on my hips. "Just move with me." I shouted over the music.

He started moving stiffly and awkwardly and I rolled my eyes. The guy really needed to let loose. I moved his hands off my hips and turned around before pushing my body flush against his. He stood frozen behind me as I placed his hands back on my hips and wrapped my arms around his neck loosely.

"Just move with my body," I told him as my head leaned against his shoulder and I started moving again.

"This is inappropriate," he stated, his lips at my ear so that I could hear him properly. I rolled my eyes, "Fuck propriety," I whispered, turning my head to the side so that I could look him in the eye. Our faces were inches apart and to anyone else it would have looked like an intimate embrace.

I ground myself against him and his grip on my hips immediately tightened as his eyes widened and his hips bucked into mine.

"Please don't do that," he begged. I grinned at him before looking back in front of me and moving and grinding against him.

"Just move with me," I told him.

He hesitated for a moment before starting to reciprocate my movements and it wasn't long until we were grinding fearlessly against one another, forgetting everything and just enjoying the rhythm of the beat. All thoughts of right and wrong flew out of the window as his lips dragged along the skin of my shoulder, kissing the skin as I leaned my head onto his shoulder and closed my eyes.

"You have no idea what you do to me Bella," he whispered pulling me back against him so that I could feel him hard against lower back. I let out a breathy moan, "If it's anything compared to what you do to me then I think I have a clear idea." He snaked a hand slowly up the bare skin of my arm as he spoke, "What do I do to you?" he asked.

I couldn't think straight with all the tension swirling around us and I answered without thinking.

"You make me so wet," I whimpered out. Did I just say that out loud?

He spun me around quickly and hitched my leg around his hip, his warm hand resting under my thigh to keep my leg up. I placed my hands on his shoulders and looked up into his eyes. He stared back into mine for an immeasurable second before whispering, "Fuck propriety."

He smashed his lips down on mine, pressing his free hand into the dip of my back so we were pressed together with his cock rubbing right between my legs.

"I want you so much Bella."

I moaned against his lips and deepened the kiss, wanting to make the most of it before it ended. I'm not sure for how long we stood there making out on the corner of the dance floor, oblivious to everything around us, but by the time he pulled back I was panting and feeling light-headed.

"Fuck!" he cursed as I ran a finger over my swollen lip.

"Happy birthday to me," I murmured, a small smile spreading over my face.

* * *

"I'm so tired," I muttered sleepily as we walked back to the hotel that seemed to be miles away.

My feet were killing me and I was pretty sure that if I lay down on the sidewalk it would make a comfortable bed. I guess that's how homeless people did it. When you're exhausted, you really don't give a shit about where you're sleeping.

Edward stopped walking and crouched on the ground. "Climb up on my back," he said, motioning with his head. I just about sighed in gratitude as I wrapped myself around his back. He picked me up off the ground and I looped my arms around his neck loosely and leaned my head on his shoulder.

My eyes closed on their own accord and I barely registered anything, let alone entering the hotel until Edward and Alice started arguing about where to put me.

"Put her in your room, that way you can keep a close eye on her." Alice said.

"Yes, because that is the only reason you want her to be in my bed. I'm not stupid. I know you helped her in the first place." Edward shot back and Alice huffed, "You say you aren't stupid, yet you try and fight against something you know is right, but just don't want to face. Making excuses won't get you anywhere. I told you this before, but I'll say it again. Hurt her and I will castrate you. She deserves happiness, you both do, and she found it in you. I see the way you look at her when you think no one's looking Edward. Stop fighting it, in fact stop fighting everything and just go with the flow."

Edward sighed, "Alice, it isn't that easy..."

"Make it that easy." She snapped back at him, not letting him finish his sentence. He was silent for a few seconds before speaking, "Fine, you're right. I am making this harder than it should be. She'll sleep in my bed tonight and I guess we'll talk in the morning." Alice must have been pleased with because I heard a key scraping in the lock and a minute later I found myself flat on my back, lying across the bed.

I felt his hands on my feet as he worked the heels off them.

I sighed contentedly and wiggled my toes lazily thankful to be rid of them.

"I should take her dress of shouldn't I?" Edward asked.

"No, leave it on and ruin over a hundred dollars worth of my money." Alice snarled at him. I hadn't realized that Alice had followed him into the room and I curled my body into a fetal position. I could feel the dress loosen as the zipper was pulled down. Cool air hit my skin and I let out a small groan of displeasure.

"What are you doing?" I slurred out tiredly opening one eye to see Edward leaning down over me. "I'm trying to take your dress off," he answered. I looked down at myself to see my dress bunched up around my waist. That was why it was so cold.

I lifted my hips off the bed and finished taking my dress off before reaching behind me and unsnapping my bra, which was digging into my skin. I threw it across the room before lying back down and snuggling back into the pillows.

"Okay, this is my cue to leave."

"Thank you Alice, you have been so helpful." Edward retorted sarcastically. "What am I meant to do with her now?"

"Put her in one of your t-shirts. I'm sure you brought an extra one." I heard a door close a second later signaling that Alice had left. I could hear Edward muttering to himself as he rummaged around the room before coming back the bed.

"Bella, I need you to wake up for a second." I grunted and opened one of my eyes to see him holding out a t-shirt. I took it from him yawning and with a little help from Edward I managed to get it on correctly before burrowing under the sheets.

"You coming to bed?" I asked not bothering to open my eyes and Edward let out a snort.

"Not yet. I need a shower, a really fucking long shower." I wasn't sure if I was meant to hear the last bit, but I couldn't help, but smile.

"Kay, have fun."

"I'll try," he muttered dryly before I finally gave in and let the darkness take over my consciousness.

**AN: So what did you think of her birthday? Review and get lemon teasers!**


	15. Need You Now

**AN: Here it is! Chapter fifteen. How have you been coping without smut for the last four chapters? Thanks for all the reviews and an extra big thanks to dirtypillowtalk for beta'ing this baby for me. I also have a confession to make...I actually wrote this chapter before the last one. *Cough* So yeah, its been sitting here for a while...Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!**

Need You Now

My eyes opened slowly, almost hesitantly. My eyelashes clung together in a weak effort to keep me from opening my eyes and I could feel a dull throb pounding lightly in my head. My mouth felt like it was filled with cotton and I curled up further in the sheets, the cool air trying to infiltrate me through them.

The sky was a complete contrast than the day before. Instead of warm sunny rays and a blue sky there was limitless amount of grey. Grey clouds; grey sky, grey everything. I looked over to my right where Edward lay sprawled out on the bed beside me sleeping.

The gentle rise and fall of his bare chest and the relaxed, untroubled expression on his face comforted me as I forced myself out of the bed.

I padded quietly across the room trying to pull down the t-shirt that Edward had given me to sleep in so that my pink panties weren't on show in case he woke up.

I slipped into the bathroom and picked up Edward's toothbrush that was lying on the counter and used it to brush away the cotton mouthed feeling. One look in the mirror told me that my hair was a lost cause and I was immediately glad that I always kept a rubber band on my wrist.

After my hair was successfully out of the way I grabbed a washcloth and ran it under the tap before cleaning my face and armpits quickly. I rinsed it out and sneaked back into the room only to stop in surprise at finding an empty bed.

I looked around mystified as to where Edward could have gone without me hearing. I spotted him leaning against the balcony outside with a cigarette held deftly between his fingers wearing only his boxers.

I moved over to the open balcony doorway and leaned against it.

"You know as a doctor, you should know better than to smoke." He jumped and spun round in surprise before looking embarrassed.

"I thought you went back to your room," he said quietly as his eyes dragged slowly up and down my body, taking me in as if he still didn't fully believe I was there. I shook my head slowly and walked over to him and plucked the cigarette out of his hands.

"So...are you going to tell me why you were smoking?" I asked because Edward hardly ever smoked. He only had a pack for 'emergencies' as he liked to say. Mainly he would only have one after he'd been working late or was stressed.

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "I was just thinking and it was helping to relax my nerves." His looked straight ahead and into the grey city. I moved back, away from him, and sat on the arm of a lone wooden chair that had been set up.

I brought the cigarette up to my lips and took a small drag. I coughed lightly as the smoke tickled and burned in my throat, but I made no other sign that it made me uncomfortable. He raised his eyebrows slowly and I just shrugged and took another drag. I blew it out and watched the smoke tangle in the air before dissipating.

I had smoked a few times. Alice had turned eighteen before the summer and bought a pack on her birthday. We had gone through half the pack over the summer and though it took a bit of getting used to, it definitely soothed me. I blushed slightly as I offered it back to him.

"I'm not as innocent as I look Edward," I said defensively. He shook his head and laughed wryly before taking a drag of his own from the cigarette.

"That's for sure," he muttered and stubbed the cigarette out against the metal railing.

We stayed quiet for a few minutes before Edward started talking.

"I've obviously been doing some thinking over the last day and I've come to a decision..." he paused and frowned. My breath hitched in anticipation. I knew what his answer would be, if last night at the club had not been an obvious indicator. But that niggling doubt clawed at me as my palms sweated.

"I want you," he murmured turning to look my square in the eye. "Body, mind and soul. There is no point for me to even try and resist the call you have." A grin threatened to take over my face, but I managed to tone it down to a small smile.

"The call I have?" I asked wondering what exactly he had meant by that. He smirked, letting one side of his mouth pull up higher than the other, while rubbing one of his eyebrows.

"Yes, there's something about you that I cannot simply ignore. I don't just see you walk into a room, Bella. I feel you. It's like I have an acute awareness of you if you're near me. I've never felt something like it and I would be a fool to just turn my back on it."

He moved towards me, all the while keeping eye contact, and cupped my face in his hands before drawing my lips into a soft, tender kiss. I sighed into his mouth and brushed my hands up his arms before resting them on his shoulders.

Our lips moved at a slow, measured pace as we just enjoyed the feel of it. The softness of his lips as they caressed mine, the feel of his breath washing into my mouth as I sucked in as much air as I could without separating our mouths.

I shivered as a cool wind whipped past, reminding me that we were still on the balcony. Goosebumps sprung up on my skin and we pulled away from each other breathing heavily.

"We should take this indoors." I said and by the subtle darkening of Edward's eyes I was sure he agreed. He moved his hands that had been cupping my face down my body until they rested on my ass.

I squeaked as he pulled me up and wrapped my legs tightly around his waist. I snuggled into his chest and looped my arms round his neck as he walked back into the room pausing only to close the balcony door behind us.

He fell onto the bed with me underneath him and picked up from where we left off.

My fingers delved deep into his hair as we shared small, lingering kisses. One of his hands trailed down my body and hitched my thigh around his hip. I moved my lips down and across his jaw leaving open-mouthed kisses in my wake.

"Bella," Edward groaned out as he pulled away from me. I looked up at him expectantly. "Yeah?" He groaned again and closed his eyes while pinching the bridge of his nose. "I think..." he said slowly. "That we should take this slower, I mean I haven't even taken you out on a real date. We're doing this all backwards." He rolled off me and onto his back sighing.

I lay there for a second not quite registering what had just happened. I rolled onto my side facing him and leaned up onto my elbow looking down into his forest green eyes. Laughter bubbled up inside me until I couldn't hold it back anymore. I untied my hair and ran a hand through it, effectively shaking it out around my head.

"What exactly is so funny?" Edward asked testily most likely thinking I was making fun of him. I grinned down at him. "I'm sorry. I guess I didn't get the part where we were a conventional relationship." I let a small giggle escape before becoming serious.

"Edward, what we have, our whole relationship, is backwards. There is pretty much nothing traditional about it. We live in a small town. With people who will most likely be small minded enough to think that what we have is borderline incest. We can't go out on dates because everyone and their cousin will be there to get a glance at the freaks and I'm okay with that. But, us having sex? Just think of it as a way for making up for the pitfalls of our relationship."

I straddled his waist making my point extra clear. He rested his hands lightly on my hips and raised an eyebrow.

"So you're saying that because we aren't a normal couple...that we should have copious amounts of sex to make up for that fact?" The edges of his lips twitched in amusement.

I shrugged pretending that my heart was not beating furiously against my chest causing each breath to leave my lips to be elevated and uneven before leaning down and placed kisses along the hollow of his shoulder.

"You forget Edward, that you have an eighteen year old girl who before yesterday was a virgin on top of you. If I seduced you once I'm sure I can do it again and I seriously doubt that you're going to be protesting when I do it."

I didn't know where it came from, but when it was just him and I alone together, with the tension crackling in waves around us, confidence surged through me as my inner vixen came through. I wasn't afraid or scared to take the lead; to take the bull by the horns so to speak.

He let out a shuddering breath, "Fuck! How am I supposed to resist you when you say stuff like that?" I pulled my head back to look him in the eye, a smirk playing on my lips. "You're not."

He groaned quietly and threaded one of his hands through my hair pulling my head down so that our lips could mesh together.

"I don't think I could even if I wanted to," he whispered against my mouth.

Our lips moved at a slow, languid pace. It was different from the first time we had been together. There was no desperate, consuming need clawing at us.

No doubts that this would be our only chance to show each other what we both felt.

This was just us.

It was a slow, measured opportunity to discover and explore each other.

I moaned softly against his lips as my hands traveled up and down his chest, mapping out each freckle and hair on him. His hands that had been dormant holding onto my hips slid down till they hit the flesh of my thighs.

I shivered at the feel of warmth that his touch brought and felt my skin react. Goosebumps and hairs rose along my skin, but unlike last time it wasn't from the cold.

His fingers trailed up and down my thighs heightening my arousal and forcing barely restrained whimpers from my lips.

"Shhh baby girl, let me take care of you." He rolled us over so that my body was positioned under him. The change in position caused our mouths to detach from each other and I panted, silently pleading with my eyes for more.

I raised my hips off the bed and rubbed against where I wanted him most. Feeling his cock pressed between my legs sent a small groan of lust out of my mouth. To know that it was me that had caused such a physical response was a heady feeling.

I knew I was considered pretty-in the girl next door kind of way-but to know the man that I spent months, years even, fantasizing about responded to _my_ body, to _my_ touch, was more than the average woman could wrap her head around.

His free hand snaked under the t-shirt that I was wearing, seeking out new flesh that he hasn't touched yet. The fabric of it rode up my stomach, sluggishly moving over my skin as he reached higher and higher until his thumb slid along the underside of my breast.

"Please...Edward." I wasn't above begging. I wanted this, I wanted it badly and no one was going to tell me otherwise. His lips that had been attached to my mouth starts to move downwards, peppering kisses along my already overheated skin.

He dragged his fingers between the valley of my breasts teasing me while I squirmed and writhed under him trying fruitlessly to gain friction as the burning in my stomach churned.

His lips continued their journey downwards and sucked on the skin of my collarbone. "Edward..." I whined impatiently. He pulled back and looked deep into my eyes with a look so filled with desire that it nearly took my breath away. "Are you sure you want this?" He asked breathlessly. I huffed slightly exasperated that he felt like he had to ask...again.

"Yes Edward. I want you. I always have and I always will," I said honestly. A grin curved up on his lips before he paused and a frown took over his face.

"What about when you go to college?" He asked quietly. "I don't think I could cope if this, what we have, was just a passing fancy to ward off boredom for you." I hesitated slightly surprised that we were actually talking about this right now, but one look into his now insecure and vulnerable eyes told me that we needed to talk about this.

I cupped his cheek and leaned up and placed a sweet, chaste kiss on his lips.

"You're it for me. I may be young and I may not have my whole life worked out, but I know that you will be the one constant in it no matter what." I paused to make sure he was absorbing the information that I was giving him. "I have thought about college and I was thinking, hoping really, that you would come with me. It would be a chance for us to start anew in a place that won't see what we have as incest."

His eyes widened in surprise and he blinked at me repeatedly for a minute until I thought the silence in the room would suffocate me. He shook his head slowly and my heart plummeted. Did he not like that idea? Did he not want to come with me?

He leaned down and started talking in-between each kiss that he laid on my mouth. " I _'kiss'_ would_ 'kiss'_ go _'kiss' _anywhere_ 'kiss'_ as long_ 'kiss' _as I was_ 'kiss' _with you." I beamed up at him. "Really?" I asked and he merely chuckled looking amused.

"Of course! I mean for me this relationship is all or nothing. I'm just surprised that you want me to come with you. I was all ready for you to tell me that you didn't need some old man following you to college and embarrassing you."

I scoffed at that. "You could never embarrass me Edward. I bet all those bitches there will be dying with jealousy because I managed to snap up a hot doctor." He smirked at that and raised an eyebrow.

"You think I'm hot?"

I rolled my eyes at him and gave him a 'duh' look. "No, I just decided that I would seduce your ugly mug because I didn't have any other options," I said sarcastically. This time it was him that rolled his eyes, "You really know how to boost a guy's ego." He said in an equally sarcastic voice.

I snickered and slapped his shoulder lightly. I was glad that by embarking on this relationship that we hadn't lost any of the previous playfulness that had always surrounded us. In fact I had gained so much and lost so little.

He nuzzled his face into my neck and I ran my hands up and down his back tracing the outline of the ink on his shoulder. He pulled back suddenly and tugged on the hem of his t-shirt. "I think we should get rid of this," he said confidently.

I snickered and sat up partially leaning back on my hands, "About time too." I teased as I pulled it over my head. I shook my hair out so that it fell around my shoulders and looked up at him nervously from under my eyelashes while biting my lip.

He let out a long breath and looked up at me with an expression that I could only describe as pure sin. "You're so beautiful," he murmured and cupped my breasts lightly, feeling the weight of them in his hands.

I gasped and arched my back letting my head fall back as a fresh wave of pleasure washed over me. I let my eyelids flutter closed as he palmed them and let the calloused pads of his thumbs brush over my nipples.

I felt a whisper of his hair brush against my collarbone before one of his hands was replaced by his mouth. My hands flew into his hair and I hissed at the feel of the wet heat of his lips wrapped around my nipple. I pulled him closer to me and lifted my hips upwards as wetness pooled into my panties and the burn coiled mercilessly inside me.

"God Edward...I need you to touch me," I moaned. He looked up at me, his mouth still on my breast and moved back slightly, "I thought I was touching you." He said before flicking out his tongue and tracing a path with it around my nipple before blowing on it. I let out an agonized whimper as my nipple hardened even more at the feel of his cool breath. What was this man doing to me?

"My pussy. I need you to touch my pussy."

He groaned at my words and leaned back on his haunches letting his eyes wander over my body. I could only imagine how I must have looked; leaning up on my elbows with my hair a wild mess around my head, as I panted, my skin pink and flushed.

His gaze stopped on the crotch of my panties and I swallowed loudly knowing that he would be able to see the dark spot from where I had pooled onto my panties.

"Fuck baby girl, you're drenched." He groaned out as he hooked his fingers on either side of my panties and dragged them down my legs before throwing them across the room. His eyes connected with mine and held them as he placed a hand on each thigh and parted my legs wide, letting a cool wind hit my wet flesh.

I flexed my toes nervously and brought up my knees slightly so that my feet could rest flat on the bed.

My hands unconsciously gripped the sheets on either side of me as I held my breath in anticipation of his next move. His gaze dropped down to between my legs and he slid a lone finger up my slit. I collapsed back against the bed as my hips arched into his touch.

"Yes!" I hissed out as his finger delved inside my swollen, wet lips and started circling my clit. My fingers dug into the mattress, my nails scratching at the surface of it as I tried to contain myself. He moved up my body all the while continuing moving his hand.

He sucked the skin just below my ear before whispering into it, "Does this feel good Bella? Do you like it when I touch your pussy?"

I could feel his hot breath wrap around my face and his words only succeeded in scrambling my already muddled brain. He bit down on my lobe sending shooting sparks of electricity through me as I gasped for air.

"Answer me Bella." He ordered and I felt myself get even wetter.

"Ung, you don't how good that feels." I panted out, the words slipping out of my mouth before I could even think up an answer. His finger drifted down from my clit and slipped into my entrance easily. My walls clenched down around him as an echo of the pain from yesterday spread through me. I didn't care that I was still sore, all I knew was that I needed him, and I needed him now.

He added another finger and slid them in and out of my heat at a slow, sensual, almost torturous pace. My hips gravitated towards him, thrusting up in an even rhythm. My breaths came out in heavy pants and I slammed my eyes shut, clenching them together tightly as my teeth dug into the skin of my bottom lip.

His fingers curled and twisted as they reached deep inside me and I practically screamed out in ecstasy as they brushed the sensitive skin of my g-spot, which until now I had thought was a myth.

The electricity that was shooting through my body was similar to the feeling you get when you get pins and needles, except without the pain. Lights danced behind my eyelids and my mouth moved, shaping his name, as I chanted it in a mantra.

"Oh God Edward...please...Edward...yes!"

I could feel my body climbing up the hill and waiting at the cliff's edge as his fingers continued to move. I felt like I was being pulled in a million different directions, each sensation yanking me in a new path. My brain clouded and fizzled away until my mind was just a mass of bumbling goo.

I could hear Edward's voice talking to me, the rough, sandpaper like quality of it doing nothing to quell the scorching heat that threatened to explode inside of me. My orgasm came so suddenly that I wasn't expecting it. It was abrupt, it was intense, and fucking hell it was by far the best orgasm he had given me yet and that was saying something.

I lay panting, a mess of sweaty, loose limbs trying to clear my head. He removed his fingers, sucking them into his mouth with groan before placing his hands on either side of my body slowly so he was hovering completely over me. I wound one of my hands into his hair and tugged him down for a kiss.

I sighed contentedly as we kissed and let my tongue slide into his mouth sloppily, my body still feeling too loose to do anything properly. I used my free hand to run down his chest to his boxers where a wet spot was forming where his cock was straining against the material. My fingers dipped under the waistband, moving them languidly across his skin. He pulled his mouth away from mine with a groan.

"Fuck! I need you to touch me...please?" he begged, leaning his forehead on my shoulder.

His hot breath tingled against my skin and I knew I couldn't deny him, hell I didn't _want_ to deny him. I pulled his boxers down so that they rested around his thighs and his cock sprang up, hitting him in the stomach.

My eyes widened slightly. How was it that even though I had seen it two times before that it still always shocked me how it looked? Then again, the first time had been from afar and the second was in the dark.

It was then that I noticed that it was slightly crooked, just like his smile. I snickered at my comparison. _His cock was as crooked as his smile, _really Bella, it sounded like the first line of a poem. "You do know that it's not so great to laugh when you've just freed a guy's cock?" Edward murmured. Realizing that he had probably took my snicker as an insult I hurried to explain.

"No, it's just that your cock is crooked, like your smile and that made me laugh." Yeah, it sounded pretty juvenile and stupid when I said it out loud. He snorted and moved back so that he could look me in the eye with one eyebrow raised. "I assure you Bella, some things are better crooked." My body flushed at his words and I couldn't wait to test out just how right that theory was.

I took him in my hand, enclosing it around him firmly as he groaned. He buried his head back into me as his hot breath fanned out across the juncture of my neck.

"God, please Bella," he whimpered, his voice strained. I gripped him tighter, my fingers barely touching. It explained why it had hurt so much when he first entered me. This man had some serious girth!

I gave him an experimental stroke, pausing at the swollen, almost purple, tip where he was still leaking, to gather up some lubricant to make the strokes more fluid. He thrust himself in my grip making his wet, hard, hot skin move through my grasp in a swift rhythm.

The giddy feeling that had been surrounding me since yesterday came back as I thought about what I was doing.

I was giving Edward my first hand job. I actually had pretty much no clue as to what I was doing, but he seemed to be enjoying it so that was all that really mattered. I tightened my grip and moved my hand in time with his thrusts as Edward placed open-mouthed kisses on my neck between swearing loudly and saying my name.

"God! Yes...fuck...ung...that's it Bella. Shit!"

Suddenly out of nowhere his hand shot out and stopped mine from continuing its movements. He pulled his head out of my neck panting hard.

"You have to stop otherwise I'm going to come." I raised an eyebrow at him silently telling him that getting him off was kind of my intent.

"When I come, I want it to be inside you," he explained, "and while my recovery time is pretty good. I would still have to wait a few minutes to be able to go again."

The desire that had settled into a low buzz sprung up again and I extracted my hand from around him and wiped off his pre-cum on the sheets. My legs spread on their own accord and I leaned up to seal my mouth with his.

He positioned himself between my legs and pressed forwards slightly. I knew better as to what to expect when he entered me, but it didn't stop from accidentally biting down on his lip from the discomfort. He hissed and pulled back, eyeing me warily as I apologized.

"Shit! I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bite you. Are you bleeding or anything?" I placed my hands on either side of his face and examined his lip. There didn't seem to be any damage but it didn't stop the embarrassment from flooding me.

"Bella. Bella!" I stopped fussing over him as he pulled away from my grasp.

"I'm fine," he soothed and I relaxed slightly. "But..."He added, causing me to immediately tense up. "We shouldn't do this if you're sore," I huffed, annoyed, because it didn't particularly matter to me that I was sore. Sure it was a little painful, but no more than when I had strained my right wrist and had to keep using it.

I pushed on his shoulders and he moved off me easily, most likely thinking that I agreed with his statement. I sat up and, much to his surprise, straddled his waist.

"Do you want me or not?" I asked, my arms folded across my bare chest. He swallowed tightly and brushed his hair out of his eyes.

"Of course I want you," he said in an exasperated tone. "I'm hard and aching, but I need to put your needs before mine. I don't want to hurt you." He said the last part quietly, a faint look of softness, of caring, shining in his eyes. I sighed wondering how God had let me have this wonderful man, even if his logic was slightly skewed.

"Edward, you cannot decide for me. I am a grown woman and I know what I want. You can either give me it or I can take it."

He sighed, "There's no arguing with you, is there? Fine you succubus, have your wicked way with me." I grinned down at him and raised myself to my knees. I grasped him in my hand and guided him towards my entrance.

My walls spasmed as they felt the intrusion of his head, but I pushed on, lowering myself slowly, almost cautiously, down on him. Our eyes stayed locked on each other, him to see if I was in any discomfort or pain, and mine to reassure him. He stretched and opened me, filling me completely with his length and girth.

I sank down on him until he was in fully. I closed my eyes briefly and placed my hands on his stomach, feeling it rise and fall. It hurt and my insides throbbed, but I knew that I wanted this, we both needed this. I let out a big gust of air and opened my eyes slowly as his fingers drew patterns on my hips, his hands clasped loosely around them.

Suddenly panic seized me. I didn't know what to do. Hell, I had been a virgin until yesterday. In books and the internet they described sex like this as 'riding.' You were meant to bounce or rock, but it all seemed so easy in text. I swallowed and tried to conceal my feelings as insecurities filled me.

Would he still want me if he knew just how inexperienced I was? It was so much easier when he lead, when he guided me. I looked down, focusing my attention on his stomach as I spoke quietly.

"I'm not quite sure what to do," I admitted. I felt so bare, so vulnerable telling him this. A little part of me, an insecure part, thought he would make fun of me for it. The room was quiet for a moment and I refused to look up at him, afraid of what I might see.

The sheets rustled as his stomach muscles clenched together, telling me without looking that he was moving upwards into a sitting position. He placed a hand under my chin forcing me to look at him.

"Hey," he murmured. "There is nothing wrong with not knowing everything when it comes to sex. Hell, I would be worried if you did!" I nodded still refusing to make eye-contact.

"Bella, look at me." He ordered and I lifted my eyes slowly to look into his. He stared into my eyes deeply, searching for something, digging through the barriers I had set up and looking into my soul.

Whatever he must have seen in them put him at ease because he angled his head towards mine and kissed me slowly, sensually, making me forget about everything other than his lips on mine.

He pulled away sooner than I would have liked and said, "Put your hands on my shoulders." I did what he said obediently and he gripped my hips firmly and scooted backwards until his back hit the headboard. Our hips were flush up against each other and I could feel his fingers flexing as they dug into my skin.

"Are you ready?" he asked. I nodded vigorously, thankful that he was showing me what to do.

He lifted me up until he was almost all the way out of me and then pushed me back down at the same time that he thrust upwards into me. I gasped and squeezed his shoulders tightly as I tried to come to terms with all the new feelings and sensations that this position provided me with.

When he had been above me I had felt full, but this, it felt like he was filling me to the hilt. It was like he couldn't go deeper even if he had wanted to.

My back arched against him, my breasts scraping a delicious trail up his chest as my whole body bowed away from him, my hair tickling my ass and his thighs as I threw it back in rapture. "Yes!" I moaned out, knowing that this was what had been missing. This was why I had felt so empty.

Without the surety of our connection, without knowing if this, this complete fullness would ever happen again I had felt lost. But to feel him imbedded deep inside me, my walls squeezing and clenching around him in an effort to keep him there, nestled between my legs, pushing, pulling, thrusting, inside me, was like a prayer answered by God.

It wasn't long until I had got a hang of the rhythm he had set, my hands placed firmly on his shoulders as my hips rolled and rocked with each thrust. One of his hands slid round to my lower back, pressing my body flush with his, my eyes seeking to look into the depths of darkness that were his eyes.

He wound his free hands deep into my hair and pushed my head forwards, making our foreheads touch as our eyes stayed fixed one each other. Our noses brushed as our hips continued to move and I could feel the heat from his body mingling with mine and wrapping around us. It was like we were in an impenetrable bubble. Nothing outside of us mattered in this moment. This was our chance to connect, to really see each other bared and vulnerable.

I let out a shuddering breath as a wave of pleasure washed over me and Edward's eyelids fluttered as the hot air collided with his skin. Our swollen lips sat inches apart and I moved closer until I could feel the soft texture of his grazing against mine. It wasn't a kiss though, it was more a feeling of complete connection as they touched, skimming over another. Neither moving; just touching and feeling.

My eyes flickered to a trail of sweat dripping down his face, the perspiration running along the sharp curve of his jaw.

"Bella," he whispered, his words leaving his mouth and going directly into mine. I focused back on him and was surprised to see that his once intense, dark eyes were watery and unclear. "Thank you," he murmured the sincerity in his voice apparent.

I shook my head slowly my lips grazing his with the movement. I couldn't fathom why he felt the need to thank me. He had taken care of me for so long, put his whole life - apart from his job - on hold just to be there for me and yet here he was thanking me. For what though, I couldn't be certain.

I kissed the edge of his eyes just as a tear escaped filling my mouth with wet saltiness. I grabbed onto the hand in my hair and pulled it down to lie on the bed next to us before threading my fingers through it.

"Don't thank me Edward," I murmured. "Just love me." I squeezed his hand tightly and he responded in kind. My free arm draped around his neck and pulled his mouth to mine harshly; trying to consume him the same way the fire raging inside me was doing to me. Our tongues tangled together impatiently, fighting, struggling, and dominating each other's mouths without respite.

Every muscle flexed and clenched in preparation for what I knew was close. I could feel him throb inside me each thrust and tore my mouth away from his and dragged my lips to his ear.

"Come for me Edward. Let it all go."

He stiffened underneath me, his grip on my hand tightening until it was almost painful as his head fell back against the wall. His jaw tightened as his body arched up, nearly lifting me completely off the bed as his orgasm took over his body.

Watching someone orgasm is actually a rather intimate experience. Usually you're so lost in your own to really look at the myriad of different emotions flickering across your partner's face.

His eyes were scrunched closed, his jaw tight, his teeth clenched together. If I didn't know any better I would have thought that he was in pain. But I did know better and I could see the almost serene look behind it. I could feel the hot spurts of cum shooting into me as his hips thrust upwards erratically.

A guttural groan left his lips before he sunk back against the headboard. His eyes remained closed as he ran a hand through his damp hair cursing quietly under his breath. His glistening chest heaved as he panted and I ran my hands up and down it trying to relax him. I kissed the side of his jaw comfortingly and he twitched before slowly opening his eyes.

He stared at my lazily for a second, his head lolling back against the wall before speaking.

"Sorry," he muttered hoarsely. I shrugged not really that bothered about it. Sure, I had been close and I wasn't going to lie and say I wasn't completely wound up, but I am a realist. I'd studied the subject of sex and women don't always climax during the main event. It's harder for women than for men to have orgasms and he had already stimulated me with his hand so I couldn't honestly complain that much about not getting another one.

"Its fine."

He raised his eyebrow slightly but didn't comment about my nonchalance. He scooted down the bed, me still sitting in his lap, and lay down on his side, pulling out of me. Our legs tangled together and I pressed my head against his chest and yawned, suddenly tired again. He wrapped his arms around me after tugging the sheets up from the bottom of the bed. He kissed my forehead and held me close against his body.

"Go back to sleep," he murmured and I hummed in acknowledgement, too tired to make a proper verbal response. I knew I should probably go have a shower and clean up, but I really couldn't be bothered.

I could feel him playing with my hair and I yawned quietly before closing my eyes, ready to sleep.

"Do you think they would approve of us?" He asked out of the blue. I frowned and cracked open one of my eyes, not quite computing what he was saying.

"Who?" I asked mystified.

"Carlisle and Esme."

I stayed quiet as I thought over the question. I had thought about that too, way before all this had happened. It wasn't an easy question to answer because I couldn't honestly know the answer without them being here, but I could tell him how I saw things. "I think...I think they would just have wanted us to find happiness in any way we could. We found it in each other and I don't think they would turn their backs on us for that. They loved both of us and I think they would have supported us." He hummed in agreement.

"You know what? I think so too."

I smiled to myself, happy that he agreed with me. I was thankful that today we had overcome one small hurdle in our relationship. I knew that there was probably about a million and two other things we still needed to talk about and that nothing from this point forwards was going to be particularly easy no matter what we decided to do.

I couldn't decide exactly where our relationship would go, or where I would be or who I would be within five years. I just had to sit back and let the world work its magic, all the while hoping that we were strong enough for this.

But laying here in his arms, sleep practically upon me I knew that the only thing I needed_ now_, was him and that's all that mattered.

**AN: I hope you like this because it took me forever to write. In other news, I now have three really great banners for First Time by Mehik18! Now, seeing as I have given you the smut which I worked my ass off to give you, you can click that button and review! All I'm asking is for a few teensy words after a 7,000 word long chapter. Pretty please! *pouts***


	16. Why Now?

**AN:Thanks for all the great reviews!******** Happy New Year and thanks to dirtypillowtalk for beta'ing this! First update of the New Year.**

Why Now?

I skipped up the drive and unlocked the door before dumping my bag in the hall. Edward followed me slowly up the drive flipping through the day's mail. It was a sunny-ish Thursday afternoon and Edward had surprised me by picking me up from school.

I had hardly seen him all week, he had been working ridiculous hours. According to him a newbie had joined the hospital staff and it was Edward's job to teach him the ropes and make sure he didn't fuck up.

Alice's head had been stuck up in the clouds for a few days so I doubted she even remembered the fact that she was meant to be giving me a lift home. I really needed to get my truck fixed; otherwise I would to end up walking home again.

I grabbed some chips from the kitchen and munched on them as Edward came in and dumped the mail on the counter.

"You have a letter," he said as he eyed it in surprised contemplation.

"You don't have to look so shocked you know. I do happen to get letters every so often and it was my birthday less than a week ago so maybe it's a card." He nodded, but still looked slightly distracted by it.

"I know, it's just that it's from Florida. I didn't know you kept in touch with anyone from there." I shrugged and stuffed another handful of chips in my mouth before responding, "Maybe it's from Miss Tanya, she used send me stuff." He shrugged and slid the envelope across the counter to me. I put my chips down and looked it over before sliding my finger under the flap and opened it.

It _was_ a birthday card. I showed it to Edward, "I told you so." He just rolled his eyes and went back to looking at the bills.

It was a pretty card as well with a large glittering 18 on the front. I opened it up and raised my eyebrow at what I found. Someone had written a long fucking essay in here. Every spot was taken up by inked words. It was even going up the sides.

I looked down to see who it was from and froze as all the color in my face drained out of it. I was aware that someone was making some sort of gasping, whining noise and it took me a minute to work out that it was coming from me.

Somehow I had found myself sitting on the floor with my legs sprawled out in front of me.

I thought I could hear someone calling my name, but the only thing I registered was those four words at the bottom of the card. _Love Renee, your mothe_r. I had felt two, strong arms wrap around me and pull me out of the fog that I had fallen into.

"I need you to take long, slow breaths for me Bella." Edward ordered calmly. How could he be so calm when everything was falling apart? I tried to listen to him, but I couldn't concentrate and my vision was all blurry from the tears that I hadn't noticed falling down my face.

"I-I-I-I…c-can't." I gasped and sobbed out before vomiting all over the floor in front of me. He tugged me until I was sitting in his lap and pressed my head against his chest. He gripped one of my hands tightly in his. "Listen," he ordered.

Somehow I managed to quiet enough to hear the steady beat of his heart against my ear. I closed my eyes and wrapped my arms around him as I focused on his heartbeat and breathed in time with it.

"Shhh...Relax, everything is going to be alright," he cooed soothingly.

I slowly relaxed in his arms as he stroked my hair and ran small circles in the palm of my hand. Exhaustion took over me and I slowly let my eyes close as I succumbed to it, not even bothering to fight it.

I wasn't sure how long I slept for, but when I woke up the sky was darkening. I rolled over slightly and grimaced at the spot of slobber on the pillow as I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand. I stretched out and groaned as my head pounded viscously against my temple.

It was then that I noticed that Edward was sat next to me, reading a book, with his glasses perched on his nose. He looked over at me and pointed to nightstand on my left. "There's water and Advil."

I sighed in relief and sat up. I grabbed the Advil and washed it down with the water.

"What happened?" I croaked, still feeling like I had been hit by a four-by-four. He frowned and felt my forehead.

"You don't remember?" he asked. I waved his hand away and squinted as I tried to work out just what had happened from the blurry images in my brain. Suddenly it all came back to me and I started hyperventilating.

"Bella," Edward gripped my arms tightly and turned me to him, "you need to calm down." He stared intently into my eyes as I nodded weakly and took long, deep breaths. He eyed me warily and stood up.

"I'm going to run you a bath, okay. Can you keep it together for a few minutes?" I gave him a small smile and nodded, not convincing either of us. I lay back down and curled up into a ball trying to think of anything, but the card. The anxiety of Edward not being close enough forced me off the bed and into the bathroom. I brushed my teeth and sat on the toilet, watching him as he poured the bubble bath in and tested the water.

It wasn't long before he switched the taps off and wiped his hands on his pants before standing up.

"I'm just going to be outside, so if you need anything just call me." He turned to leave and I felt the panic well up inside me. I lunged towards him and gripped the back of his shirt, "Don't!" I yelled out before flushing in embarrassment. He sighed and turned around, "You are going to be fine," he soothed, but I shook my head and swallowed tightly.

"Don't leave me here alone. Please." I begged weakly. "I don't want to be alone right now Edward. I need you..." My voice trailed off into a whisper. I didn't care how pitiful I sounded or looked; I really needed him right now. He paused looking intently into my eyes before nodding slowly.

"Okay," he said quietly and I relaxed my grip on his shirt, relieved.

My fingers worked deftly over the buttons on his shirt and I could help but lean forwards a place a chaste kiss in the center of his chest. He took a step back and eyed me warily, like he thought I was unstable, which pretty much wasn't far from the truth.

"Bella..." he said, a warning clear in his voice, "I really don't think sex is going to help right now. I know you feel like you need a distraction, but your problem will still be there afterwards and you might just regret doing it." I looked up at him, "I know. I just want to be close to you. Take the bath with me? No sex, I promise."

He closed his eyes as an agonized look passed over his face. "Bella," His voice came out as a whine, "why do you do things like this to me?" I felt a small sense of elation as he weakened and went back to unbuttoning his shirt. He laid his hand on top of mine, ceasing all movement.

"Bella, can you please stop trying to take my shirt off?" He pleaded in a pained voice. I frowned, confused, "Why, do you want to do that part?" He shook his head and raked a hand through his hair, sighing, "Bella, I really don't think that it would be a good idea. This whole situation is confusing. I'm confused, you're confused and..." I placed a finger over his lips to stop his rambling before replacing it with my mouth, only letting myself give him a chaste kiss.

"Must you over-think every small thing that happens?" He snorted at that, but I ignored him and carried on. "I want you. Not sexually, I just need you to be close and to hold me and I can't do that if you aren't in the bath with me. So please stop arguing with me and do this for me. Please?"

His hand dropped from mine and he nodded.

He undressed me slowly, pausing only to kiss parts of my body. First he kissed the juncture between my shoulder and neck, the middle of my stomach, the inside of my knee, and the sole of my foot. It wasn't sexual, it was more affectionate, calming. It didn't take long for us to find myself situated in the bath, Edward sitting behind me with his legs stretching out on either side of me with me leaning back against him.

I leaned my head against his shoulder and closed my eyes contentedly as he wrapped his arms loosely around my waist. This here, sitting in his arms, made me feel safe. Like nothing and no one could touch me as long as he held me.

"Did you read the card?" I asked quietly.

"Yes," he admitted. I nodded not in the least bit annoyed by that. It would save me asking him to do it for me later.

"What did she want?" I asked burying my head in his neck, inhaling the sweet, spicy smell that always surrounded him.

He let out a breath, "She apologized for how she treated you and said she got help. She wants to meet you and get to know you."

I let out a shuddering breath as tears started falling down my cheeks. "Why now? Why when I'm happy and content with my life must she try and barge back into it. She didn't care about me! She hurt me, she _abused_ me and she chooses now to ask for my forgiveness!" I could feel the anger well up inside me before I deflated, "Why can't I hate her? Any normal person would be able to, but I can't. Even after all she did to me."

He rubbed my arms softly and placed a kiss in my hair, "She's still your mother. I know that's a shitty excuse for not be able to hate someone, but mothers and daughters have strong ties to one another. You're a special person Bella, a person who didn't deserve to be treated the way you were and I wouldn't be surprised if you never forgave her. But I know you and one of the reasons I love you is because you have a big heart. Don't let her crush you. Don't let her control your life. Be who you are and not what everyone else wants you to be."

I smiled against his neck at his words. It wasn't more than a week ago that I had been trying to persuade him to do the same thing.

"When did you get so smart?" I asked teasingly. He chuckled, "When a beautiful girl told me to stop drifting and to actually start living."

"Hmm," I murmured, "she was beautiful, wasn't she?" He chuckled and I could feel the vibrations of it run through me. I smiled wider, once again thanking God for giving me Edward. I don't know what I would have done without him. I twisted in his lap so that I was sideways with my knees drawn up to my chest and looked up at him.

"Thank you."

He raised his eyebrows and pushed a loose strand of hair out of my face and tucked it behind my ear, "You have nothing to thank me for," he answered quietly as I ran a hand over his face, tracing his features, running the pad of my thump over his plump bottom lip. His eyelids fluttered and I could feel the beginnings of his stubble scratch my skin as I let my head fall back onto his shoulder, my hair falling down around us.

My fingers traced the tattoo on his back as we sat in silence, embracing the calm.

I could feel myself getting drowsy as I sat there, all warm and cozy in his lap, and I yawned tiredly.

Edward chuckled and placed an arm under my knees before standing up. I squeaked in surprise and gripped his neck tightly in my hands as he slowly stepped out of the bath. I could feel a cool breeze whipping along my wet skin and I shivered as goose bumps raised all over my body. He placed me on my feet and wrapped me in his bathrobe. If I had thought the towels in my bathroom were soft, then this was like being surrounded in feathers-without the itchiness and getting poked by the sharp ends.

The bathrobe swamped me and I couldn't even see my hands without pushing the sleeves up a good eight inches. I had never realized just how big Edward was — no pun intended — compared to me. I felt like kid playing dress up with her parents' clothes. While I had been musing about his bathrobe, Edward had put his boxer's back on and started rubbing a towel vigorously over my hair to dry it.

I knew that tomorrow my hair was going to be a bitch to deal with, but right now I found it pretty amusing.

"You know, I _can_ dry my own hair." I pointed out as he deemed my hair dry. He merely shrugged and picked me up bridal style again. "Now, where would the fun in that be?" he asked, a mischievous grin on his face. I rolled my eyes at him secretly amused, but not willing to let him know it. He carried me to the bed and set me down before going round and climbing into bed on the other side. I snuggled up to him as he flipped on the flat screen.

"How come you get a TV in your room and I don't?"

He snorted and flicked through the channels looking for something interesting to watch. "Because unlike you, I am sometimes forced to keep strange hours for work and need a distraction from my day while I can't sleep."

"I still don't think its fair," I muttered. He rolled his eyes exasperatedly, "Bella, you don't _need_ a TV in your room...you have your sex-filled romance novels to keep you company." He grinned cheekily, his eyes dancing with mischief as my mouth fell open and a dark blush spread over my cheeks. "How do you know about that?" I squeaked out, mortification flooding me. I had thought that he had been oblivious to my more-let's say raunchy-collection of books.

He snickered and I smacked his arm hard. "Answer the damn question, Edward!" He raised his hands up defensively, but didn't bother to stop smirking at me, "I may have dropped off some laundry in your room one night while you were in the shower and you left it open on your bed. All I read was something about heaving bosoms and swollen, throbbing cocks before I decided to never go through your collection of books ever again."

I groaned and lay back on the bed with a pillow over my face, "I can't believe you did that," I whined out as he started laughing again.

"It's not funny!" I shrieked at him, causing him to only laugh harder.

"I'm sorry to say, but it is in fact hilarious. I thought it was only middle aged, unsatisfied, housewives that read those kinds of books." I huffed at him, "I was unsatisfied at that point," I muttered pointedly turning my head away from him and crossing my arms over my chest pouting.

He stopped laughing and wrapped his arms around me, nuzzling my neck, "Oh come on, don't be like that. I was only messing with you. I just don't think you need them anymore as I am here to satisfy _all_ your needs." He punctuated his declaration with a few soft kisses along my neck, melting me from my rigid pose.

I hummed, enjoying the attention, "Changed your mind about having sex? I have needs that need to be satisfied." He chuckled and drew his head back from my neck, "Nope, not tonight at least. You need to rest and I...well I need to watch TV." He picked up the remote, which he had put down while he was distracting me and went back to flipping through the channels. I sighed, knowing that he wouldn't give in and slipped off the bed and into his closet. I picked out a plain, white t-shirt and a pair of black boxers and climbed back into bed.

While I was gone he had settled on a boring documentary about wild cats living in the jungle. I rolled my eyes; he was such a geek sometimes. I fluffed my pillow and snuggled down under the sheets ready to sleep the night away.

"Are you hungry?" he asked out of the blue. I shook my head, "Surprisingly I really don't feel hungry," I murmured wryly, thinking back with embarrassment to when I threw up all over the floor. He nodded and made a noise of acknowledgment, probably thinking about having to clear up the mess I made.

"Night Edward," I mumbled sleepily.

"Night Beautiful," he answered quietly.

**AN: Ohhhh! Things are getting interesting and there is still so much you guys don't know! Lemon Teasers for all who review!**

******I will be contributing an outtake o****r side-shot for Preconceived Notions** (if you haven't read it, hop on over to my profile and do so) for this very, very important cause. The outtake will be in Edward POV and will have their wedding and other little snippets in it. Please check out the site. The list of contributing authors is enormous! Donations will be accepted from Feb 1-28th. Minimum donation is $10.00 and will go directly to National Coalition Against Domestic Violence. Please participate if you are able!


	17. Breakthrough

**AN: Thanks for all the great reviews! Ya'll who are wondering when Alice is going to snatch up Jasper will have to be patient. I have it all worked out, you just have to look for clues. Some of you thought that Edward was 'too reserved' in the last chapter, so I hope this helps. Thanks dirtypillowtalk for being the most awesome better ever! **

Breakthrough

_**Wanna take Mr. Jack on a walk?- Alice**_

I looked down at Alice's text and smiled. It had been way too long since we had really hung out together as Alice's dad had come back recently from Dubai and the whole card thing had left a bit of a dark cloud over my head. Some down time would be readily welcomed, even if it involved Jack the Ripper-my apt nickname for Alice's dog.

_**Sure, I'll walk down- Bella**_

I jammed my phone into my pocket and hopped off my bed where I had been tinkering with my laptop, trying to figure out all the cool things I could do with it. I got my black boots out of the closet and started pulling them on.

A few seconds later I found myself on my ass still tugging my boot on. This happened to me often enough to know that I should sit down while I put shoes on, but I was stubborn.

Once they were on I scrambled up, nearly tripping over my laptop wire, and left my room.

It would be nice to get of the house and forget about everything for an hour or two and just have fun talking and laughing and acting like the eighteen year old I was meant to be.

I clambered down the stairs noisily and grabbed my jacket.

"I'm going out." I shouted to Edward who was in the living room reading a medical journal while watching the Discovery Channel. He grunted and waved absently without bothering to look up. I rolled my eyes knowing that it was the only reaction I was going to get from him.

I could tell him that I was off to hook up with Mike and he would just make a noise of acknowledgment. Long hours, plus too many documentaries and possibly a few beers equaled your very own Neanderthal.

I exited the house, closing the door firmly behind me and took a deep breath, already feeling better. The sky was starting to darken and it held promise of rain, but I hoped it would hold off for a least a few hours.

I hurried down the road then cut back between the houses where there was a little path, making a short cut through the houses. After cutting through a couple of streets I came up to Alice's house and knocked on the door.

A second later it flew open and a very angry Alice stood there. I could hear raised voices behind her and she looked over her shoulder and shouted, "Go fuck yourself; you fucking bastard."

She slammed the door behind her and dragged Mr. Jack after her. Any other day I would have been happy to see Mr. Jack being dragged down the drive, his little squinty eyes popping out from lack of air, but Alice's mood outweighed it all.

It seemed like her mood was a dark as the fucking sky.

We walked quietly for a few minutes, Alice's eyes flashing and her lips in a thin line. I knew better than to ask what was wrong. She would tell me when she was ready. She kicked a rock, sending it flying and huffed before slumping down on a bench on the edge of the sidewalk. I joined her and waited patiently, I didn't have to wait long.

"Can you fucking believe the gall he had to bring her into our home?" She spat completely enraged. "It turns out my father is a sack of lying, cheating shit who likes to shove his dick into any willing pussy." To say I was shocked was a vast understatement.

I had met Alice's dad a few times and he seemed like a nice guy, slightly obsessed with his job, but nice all the same.

"What's going to happen?" I asked quietly even though I already knew the answer.

She sighed and all the anger disappeared from her body, "They're getting a divorce," she whispered.

"Mum's been up in her room crying for the last two days and the fucking sperm donor who unfortunately is my father keeps trying to get me to go live with him and his skank of a girlfriend."

I could hear the venom laced in her tone as she spoke about her dad. I couldn't quite wrap my head around it, it was so sad to see my best friend without life emanating from her.

"I can't begin to tell you just how sorry I am," I murmured helplessly.

She shook her head and pulled out a rumpled pack of cigarettes. She offered one to me, but I declined. She lit it up and took a long pull from it before letting it out in a plume of smoke.

"I'm not sorry it happened," she said matter of faculty, "I would rather my mother knew what he was up to while he was away so that she can move on with her life and eventually find a guy who'll love her no matter what."

I was surprised at her selflessness in this situation. "What about you?" I asked gently.

She shrugged again and let out a humorless chuckle, "As much as I want to hate him, I can't. What he did hurt and I'm not sure I'll ever forgive him for hurting my mum like that, but at the end of the day he is still my father. A father that I will not be speaking to for a long while, that is."

I nodded understandably. If anyone knew about that kind of thing, it was me. "I know what you mean," I murmured, "about not being able to hate him." I clarified. She raised an eyebrow at me, "This isn't the same Bella. Your mum abused you. My dad is just a selfish prick."

I shook my head, "He abused your trust." I pointed out, "Trust is like a mirror, once it's broken you can never look at it the same way."

She snorted, "No shit Sherlock. Where'd you read that anyway?" I grinned at her, "The internet is full of great things Alice."

I briefly wondering if I should tell her about the card, but I ended up dismissing it. I didn't want her to have more than necessary on her plate right now. She let out a sigh, "I hate this morose and depressing mood. Can't we just go out and get drunk and just forgetting about all are stupid problems." I raised an eyebrow at her amused.

"Spoken like a true future alcoholic." She elbowed me in the ribs and I elbowed her back slightly harder.

She giggled and slapped me round the head, harder than necessary I might add, and it wasn't long until we were having an epic battle, which I ended up losing. There is only so much pain I can take before my bruised body gives in.

Once Alice was done looking smug she directed the conversation in a different direction, "So...how's the sex life?" I rolled my eyes; I knew this would come up sooner or later. "It's great...and before you ask, no we haven't done it on every available surface in the house, in every position written in the Kama Sutra. We are simply going with the flow."

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean? Are you getting any or not?"

I shot her an exasperated look, "Please Alice, don't beat around the bush." I said sarcastically. She shrugged, "I have to live vicariously through you and right now I'm getting a little disappointed." I sighed, "What we have isn't just about sex you know. We talk a lot and do things together. Plus he's been working a lot seeing as there's a new gu-"

"Bella, I asked you a simple question. Now stop rambling about nonsense and answer the question." I scowled slightly and tried to think of a good way of explaining, "We haven't really changed the dynamic of our relationship too much, we've kind of just expanded it to fit with our needs."

Alice snickered at that and I shot her a look, "we haven't really done that much since getting back," I admitted."I had a panic attack on Thursday and Edward's been treating me like I'm made of glass ever since and I don't know, why does it always have to me that initiates something?"

Alice rolled her eyes, "You sound like a whiny bitch," she muttered, not in mean way, just in a straightforward way.

"I think you are forgetting that you are in love with the world's best over-thinker. I'm sure if you looked it up in the dictionary that you'll find a picture of him, in fact he practically invented over-thinking. What I'm trying to say is that until you are both completely comfortable with the relationship you will have to do the leading. Now, I bought you some lingerie when we were in Seattle and it's at my house, so we'll scurry on over and get it for you and tonight you are going to walk into that bedroom and he is going to jizz in his pants."

I could practically see the plan forming in her head, lists and all. I still felt a bit of trepidation, not feeling as confident as Alice was, but then again the only time I was ever that confident was when Edward and I were alone and really I think that had been a fluke. Alice jumped up and grabbed my hand dragging me with her as she set off down the road.

"Alice, where are you going?" I huffed as I tried to keep up with her. For someone with such short legs she sure could walk fast. "My house. We'll pick up everything you'll need there and head back to yours." She was using her no nonsense voice. I didn't comment knowing there was no point.

I was just glad that I had managed to distract her from the divorce. She dumped the leash just inside the house, letting Mr. Jack run off before dragging me up the stairs. She flittered around her room, shoving things into a bag as she went.

"Is this all really necessary?" I asked. She nodded and disappeared into her closet. "Totally. He's not going to know what hit him." She came back out and headed straight for the door. She looked over her shoulder at me impatiently when she realized I hadn't moved.

"Come one. Time is money Bella. Or in this case its sex."

I rolled my eyes and followed her out the door and down the stairs.

"Alice, where are you going?" We turned to find her father standing in the kitchen doorway. Alice barely hesitated before saying, "Fuck you asshole." She turned and was out the door before I could even blink. He sighed and shook his head as I moved towards the door trying to avoid eye contact in this awkward situation.

Alice was already in her car with the engine running by the time I closed the front door and I quickly got into the car.

"That was awkward," I commented. Alice shrugged and flicked the radio on before gunning it down the street towards me.

As soon as we reached my house, she dragged me up to my room and forced me into the shower. Once I was all nicely shaved and clean she handed me a sheer ice blue baby doll with matching panties. Somehow I managed to swallow my mortification and put it on before I was forced to sit still for a good hour while Alice 'primped me up.'

I didn't see why we had to use lingerie and make-up, but Alice had insisted on it and I wasn't about to argue with her when she was holding hot curlers in her hands. I could see that it was getting late and I huffed and squirmed in my seat.

"Will you stop moving?" Alice asked exasperated. I scowled and sighed, still fidgeting.

"I'm just going to embarrass myself," I told her, not feeling one ounce of optimism about this 'plan.' Alice huffed, "Oh ye of so little faith. Have I ever let you down?" I opened my mouth to butt in but she was already talking again. "The answer is no, so just trust me."

"That's easy for you to say, you don't get embarrassed."

She let out an exasperated sigh, "Bella, I assure you that there are loads of women out there, who would give an arm and a leg to be in your place. You have the man of your dreams just there in front of you, ready and willing, and yet you sit here complaining like he's going say no to you. When has he ever said no to you? The man freaking spoils you, so stop acting like a spoiled brat and sit still."

It would suffice to say that I kept my mouth closed after that. I felt kind of guilty for whining so much, because she was right. I did have him right there, just waiting for me to swoop in and knock him off his feet. He would go down willingly as well; it was just my stupid insecurities that were holding me back.

After two fucking hours of torture a la Bella, Alice decided that I looked presentable enough. It was past nine by this point and Alice gave me a kiss on the cheek for good luck, telling me that I looked hot before scuttling off out the door with a promise that I would ring her in the morning.

I felt nervous as I walked slowly towards Edward's open bedroom door. I peered in to see him already in bed with a book in his lap.

_You know, you could just run back to your room, he would be none the wiser _the little voice in my head said, trying to give me an exit strategy.

I stood in his bedroom doorway, my teeth chewing nervously on my lips I was contemplating my options. If I left now then I would have spent two hours being tortured for nothing.

_He won't say no, _I told myself, trying to muster up some courage.

"Edward," I called out attentively to him before I could chicken out. He looked up from the book he was reading and froze as his eyes took me in. I could literally feel the heat of his gaze as ran them across my body. He blinked a few times and opened his mouth as if to say something before frowning and scratching his head, looking confused. Great, I knew this was a bad idea.

"I-I umm...come here," He finally stuttered out and I moved slowly, my arms clasped behind my back and my head down, in embarrassment. He patted the bed, motioning for me to sit as he closed his book and placed it on the night stand. We sat quietly for a second while I tried to control the tears that threatened to fall from the impending rejection.

"Are you going to tell me what this is all about?" he asked gesturing to the lingerie that I was wearing. I sniffled and peered up at him miserably, "I just want you to be comfortable with wanting me. I mean, I know you want me, you just never do anything about it and so I thought that this might help..." My voice trailed off and he placed a hand under my chin, forcing me to look up at him.

"Bella, you don't need lace and lingerie to make me want you. I always do, I just have trouble figuring out when the right time to act on it is." He ran the pad of his thumb over my bottom lip, smudging my lipstick before leaning towards me and taking my lips up in a slow, passionate kiss. His hands rested on my hips and he ran small circles in my skin.

"I always want you baby girl. I can hardly control myself when you're in the same room as me and that scares me." He deepened the kiss, dragging his tongue over my lips, silently asking me for entrance. He moved our bodies so that I was lying flat across the bed with him over me all the while keeping our lips together.

One hand ran up the skin of my thigh and he fisted the other in my hair. He pressed his hips between my legs, pushing his erection right into me. I groaned against his lips and dragged my nails down his back. He hissed and bucked his hips harder against my pussy. I tore my mouth away from his, panting heavily.

"Clothes off now," I spat out before reattaching our lips. His fingers grasped at the tie of my baby doll, fumbling with it for a second before just tearing it open.

I gasped and felt wetness pool into my panties as he dove down to my chest, his mouth sucking and licking one breast while his hand roughly kneaded the other. I arched into him willingly and wrapped my legs around his hips, pushing my pussy further into his hard cock.

My head fall back and I just let my hips move with his.

"Oh God...hmm...Fuck!" Words spilt out of my lips and heat spread through me like a wild fire. I needed more though, I needed everything, and I needed him inside me. My hands scrambled at the waist of his sleep paints, scraping against the skin before yanking them down to his thighs.

He groaned and used his free hand to push them further down until they fell off. He yanked my panties down, ripping them on one side in his urgency.

He spread my legs wider and without hesitating he slammed into me. I let out a low, keening noise of surprise and tightened my legs around him as he pulled back and slammed back into me. My back slid slightly across the bed from the power of his thrusts, but I welcomed it knowing that this was a breakthrough.

While I knew his gentle side, he never let himself lose enough control to actually be rough with me. I wanted every part of him, the parts he hid from the rest of the world, that, before my birthday, he hid from me.

My nails dug into the skin of his back, scratching and scraping along it as my head thrashed back and forth. Our hips moved undiluted against each other, each thrust harder, faster, and deeper than ever before.

I hadn't even registered the fact my body had still been moving along the sheets until my head fell off the edge. He pried one of my legs from around his waist and placed it on his shoulder so that he hit in a completely different angle. I felt like my mind was in an intense fog of lust, barely able to register anything other than him pounding into me.

He leaned down over my body, pressing the leg that was on his shoulder into my breast as he nipped on my lips, biting and sucking at my mouth.

I wrapped my hands into his hair and yanked it back. His teeth were biting down on my bottom lip and he drew it with him as I pulled his head back. Our hips slammed against each other, each thrust punctuated with a sharp slap where our pelvises hit.

He released my lip and sat back. His eyes darted down between us, where he was thrusting into me and he let out a noise akin to a growl.

"Fuck, do you know how hot it is watching myself disappear into your tight pussy knowing that I'm the only to have ever been inside of you?" He spat out between his tightly clenched teeth. I moaned loudly at his words and tried to pull him closer to me. It felt like he was consuming my very being, pulling and tugging me down until the only thing I could think about was him and everything he was doing to me.

"Tell me," I begged and his eyes darted up to mine and dragged me into them. There was barely any green left in them and they swirled and danced with desire and need.

He leaned back down so that he was hovering over me and ghosted his lips along the curve of my jaw, "It makes me so hard. I don't want to ever stop being inside of you. Whether I'm making love to you or fucking you like I am now, I know I'll never get enough. I want to consume you completely until there is nothing left to take. Even if it takes me years, I want to find every little thing that makes you tick, the things that make you so wet that you beg for me, for my cock. I need you all the time, it's like there's this beast inside me that wants to mark you, make you realize that your mine and I'm trying to fucking control it, but I can't. Every time I see you I want to rip your clothes off and fuck you. I wouldn't care where or if anyone was watching, I would just possess your body like you've possessed me."

Just hearing him whisper along my skin how he constantly felt was enough to drive me insane with lust.

"Yes," I moaned out as my back arched closer to him, begging him to give my breasts attention. I wanted him to possess, to mark me, to do whatever deprived, dirty thing he wanted to me. I didn't care if it was wrong, or unacceptable in some people's standards, if he wanted I would let him tie me up and spank me.

"Please...do it. Possess me, mark me, bruise me, and make me yours." Never had I felt so needy for him, so utterly desperate for him to completely take over my body. I wanted to worm myself into his skin, to be a part of him forever, never leaving his body.

I wanted his teeth embedded in my skin, his nails scratching across my back, his cock pounding, breaking me in an attempt to fuse our bodies as one.

He ducked his head down to my right breast and sucked the skin above my nipple as his hips moved relentlessly, forcing my shoulders off the bed. I slid further off it as I placed my hands on the floor beneath me and bucked my hips into his hard. We were now half off the bed; with him still sucking on my breast and the thought of stopping and changing our position hadn't even entered into my mind.

He finally detached his mouth from it and rested back on his haunches as he continued plowing into me. He placed one of his fingers on my clit and rubbed it hard.

"I need you to come for me now," he ordered and I felt my wall tighten and throb around him.

"Oh God...Edward!" I screamed at the top of my lungs, my hips buckling wildly as tremors ran through me. I swear I saw sparks flying behind my eyelids as I cried out. I felt him freeze above me as words that someone under the age of eighteen should never hear, spilt from his lips. Warmth spread through me as he reached his climax and I let out an exhausted moan.

My hands had given out and the only thing keeping from falling in a heap on the floor was Edward's hands clutching at my hips. The room was quiet as we tried to get our bearings straight.

It took me a good five minutes to get my heart down to a normal rate and my breathing to even out. Edward pulled me back onto the bed and kissed my lips gently, his usual gentlemanly behavior shining through.

"Are you okay?" he asked as he rubbed my shoulders. I sighed in contentment and nodded, "Never been better."

He brushed my hair out of my face and placed a kiss on my forehead before climbing off me and going in the direction of the bathroom. I leaned up on my elbows and watched his dimpled, firm ass move as he disappeared behind the door.

He reappeared a second later still in all his naked glory with a towel in his hand. He knelt between my legs and wiped all the excess semen that had decided to drip back out of me.

Have I ever mentioned how messy and slightly embarrassing sex can be?

"I really should wear a condom," Edward mumbled. I yawned and shrugged, "I don't mind. I like feeling all of you inside of me." He raised his eyebrow and smirked, "As do I, but it will be less messy if we do. Plus it would lower the chances of you getting pregnant. I don't think I'm ready to be dad just yet."

I blushed, thinking about little bronze head children. Not that I was ready for kids myself though, I wanted to go to college before even thinking about starting a family.

"I'm on the pill remember?" I pointed out. He shrugged, "It only works ninety-eight percent of the time. We might as well be extra cautious." I nodded and sat up. "I really need a shower. Care to join me?" I asked coyly.

He picked me and I wrapped my legs around his waist.

"You made that sound like I would actually say no to watching water drip down your naked body," he said with mock hurt. I giggled and felt heat well up inside me again. I ran a hand through his messy hair absently and smirked, "Hmmm, when you put it that way..."

He pulled my head down and crushed his lips to mine effectively cutting me off, "I always want you, never forget that," he murmured against my lips. I nodded, feeling myself go to mush right there in his arms.

This was what I wanted.

This was why Alice had forced me into lingerie.

This contradiction of soft and hard, of sweet and sexy, fun and pleasure.

He was my lover. My over-reacting, sweet, sexy, lover.

Being here, my legs wrapped round his waist and our lips melded together, was what I dreamed of. This was the easy part. I just hoped it wouldn't change too quickly.

**AN: There we have it. Are you guys enjoying the New Year? Did you enjoy that lemon? If you guys are good, I might put one in the next chapter as well, so just press that little button...**


	18. Caught

**AN: I am posting this for Bell Jacobsen's birthday! Love you for your encouraging words and the fact that you are my biggest fan. Had to make some small cutbacks to get this baby out so sorry if there are any mistakes. Don't forget that I ************am contributing an outtake o****r side-shot for Preconceived Notions** (if you haven't read it, hop on over to my profile and do so) for this very, very important cause. The outtake will be in Edward POV and will have their wedding and other little snippets in it. Please check out the site. The list of contributing authors is enormous! Donations will be accepted from Feb 1-28th. Minimum donation is $10.00 and will go directly to National Coalition Against Domestic Violence. Please participate if you are able! 

**********Warning: time jump.**

Caught

I hummed contentedly as my hips swayed to the beat coming through the speakers. Usually I wouldn't dare dance for fear of hurting myself or others, but the house was empty and there was a great beat to this song. I was meant to making the meal since Edward would be back any minute now, but sliding around the kitchen shaking my ass was a lot more fun.

The last two months had been so great. I guess you could say that me and Edward were still in our honeymoon phase. No real problems or fights had arisen between us and all negative thoughts concerning my mother and the card she had sent had been pushed to the back of my mind.

Just waking up in the morning naked, wrapped and tangled in Edward, was enough to bring a smile to any girls face. Sometimes he would wake up early and take me then when I was still half asleep, the early morning light streaming in through the curtains. Having sex when you were still partly asleep was an experience everyone should have.

Its like your on a cloud as he pushes into you, laving your body with pleasure. Your mind is still thick with sleep and its similar to the feeling of already climaxing because the pleasure completely takes over your senses.

I was completely satisfied and blissful right now, but it seemed as my mood skyrocketed Alice's fell deeper down.

She was continually grouchy and constantly blew me off to go off and do her own thing. She would make up these lame excuses like she was helping her mum or going to a spa day. I tried to be there and to be supportive because going through a divorce is never easy, but she just seemed bitter towards me.

We had used to be as thick as thieves, but now it seemed we had drifted apart and there was nothing I could do to stop it.

It hurt and it felt like our plans to go off to college together would never come into fruition. I tried not to let it get to me but she was frankly my only friend and my life felt a little empty without her blunt guidance. I kept my head up though and kept on going without her. If she didn't want to be my friend anymore then that was her loss.

I slid back over to the stove and stirred the risotto. I belted the lyrics out at the top of my lungs happily and waved my wooden spoon in the air, most likely splattering the wall with sauce. Nothing could get me down today, it was a Friday and I would have Edward for the whole weekend with no interruptions. Just thinking about all the things we could get up to sent shivers down my spine.

Suddenly the music turned off and I heard clapping behind me. I spun round, my heart racing and a blush fresh on my cheeks to find Edward leaning against the counter, his tie loosened and a grin on his face.

"Please don't stop on my account," he said as he moved fluidly towards me, a slight predatory gleam in his eyes. I braced my hands on the counter behind me as he reached me and leaned down so that his mouth was centimeters from mine.

"Hi," he whispered, his minty breath fanning over my face. I let out a shaky breath and my eyelids fluttered as my legs turned to jello, "Hey." I whispered back. He brushed a hand across my cheek and pressed me more fully against the counter, his body flush against mine before capturing my lips in a soft kiss.

He gave me a few chaste kisses before tilting his head to the side and capturing my lips in a long, hard kiss.

His mouth moved relentlessly against mine and I quickly matched his enthusiasm. I eventually pulled back for breath and hoisted myself up onto the counter so that he wouldn't have to bend down to kiss me before pulling him back in. I gripped his hair in my hands, loving the feel of the thick strands between my fingers, and he moaned before tearing his lips away from mine and burying his head in my neck.

"Rough day?" I asked amused and breathless. He let out another groan, this one from displeasure. I giggled and forced his head back so that I could speak to him properly.

"What happened?" He sighed and raked a hand through his hair. "The new guy is really killing me. He keeps making these small mistakes that I have to clean up. I feel like his fucking babysitter. Plus he's always happy and optimistic. A few years in that hospital will wipe the smile right off his face." He scowled and narrowed his eyes, obviously thinking about something that had happened that day.

I snorted and started giggling, "Geez Edward, stop acting like such an old man. Let him enjoy himself. I'm sure you enjoyed being an intern back in the day. You know, when the wheel was still a new and amazing tool."

He gave me an unamused look, "Have I ever told just how unfunny you are?" he asked.

I shrugged, "I guess my humor is a bit too new age for you. I guess I'll just stick to 'why did the chicken cross the road' jokes. They had those when you were a kid right?" I said a mock serious expression on my face. He rolled his eyes and gave my hair a small tug.

"I didn't hear you complaining about how old I was last night. In fact the only thing you were saying was 'oh Edward...yes...you're a God...You're so hot.'"

I raised an eyebrow at him, trying ignore the slight tinge of lust that effected me when I thought about last night. "I don't remember saying that last bit."

Edward shrugged, unperturbed, "Yeah, well I was distracting you quite a bit, so the amnesia is forgivable." I smirked and looked at him coyly from under my eyelashes as I let my hands fiddle with his tie, "Well...I'm sure you could give me a recap..."

His pupils dilated and he gave a smirk of his own. He leaned down and ran his nose up my cheek.

"Naughty girl. Seducing me in the kitchen." He murmured against the side of my face, fanning his hot breath over it. "Do you want me to _fuck_ you on this counter?" he asked putting extra emphasis on 'fuck'. He trailed a hand up my thigh and I swear to God I came a little bit. Never had I been so happy that I was wearing a skirt.

He nibbled on my ear as his hand continued leaving a fiery trail up my thigh. One of my hands clutched the front of his shirt and I undid his tie with the other and threw it behind me not caring about where it landed. He slowly spread my legs and moved in between them, pressing his chest against mine.

I could feel his fingers glide along the lace seam at the bottom of my boy shorts and I wiggled around trying to make him touch where I really wanted him to.

"Edward..." I whined, frustrated, as his lips wrapped around my lobe, engulfing it in wet heat. I gripped his shirt tightly in my hands and in a move that I never thought that I could pull off smoothly, I ripped it open. Buttons flew everywhere and I distinctly heard a rip. Edward pulled back and looked down at himself, shock written all over his face.

"You just ruined my favorite shirt," he said like he couldn't quite believe it. I bit my lip, trying to hide the grin that threatened to spread across my face. He looked so shocked like he didn't quite know what to do next. I ran a hand over his chest, tracing his well defined abs, loving the way the muscles on his stomach reacted to my touch.

"You look better without it on anyway." I told him unbuckling his belt and undoing the button on his slacks. It seemed to bring him out of his stupor because he shrugged out of what was left of his shirt and tugged at the hem of my top, silently asking me to put my hands up.

I obliged him and he pulled it off before pulling the cups of my bra down and latching his mouth to my breast. I groaned and leaned back on one of my hands as I arched my chest. My free hand dipped under his slacks and into the waistband of his boxers.

My fingers brushed down along his happy trail before I wrapped my hand around the hard, hot, silken skin of his cock. He gasped and jerked slightly, detaching his mouth from breast. He quickly shed his slacks and boxers, letting them fall around his ankles, but not before getting a condom out of his pocket.

I pouted at him, hoping that we were going to skip the condom this time because let's be honest here, who takes a condom to work in their pocket? Edward, that's who.

He saw my face and sighed, "There is no way I'm going to clean up all the mess we were most likely going to make if we don't use one."

"We'd have to clean it anyway." I pointed out, "Plus it's a real mood killer."

He rolled his eyes, "Well, I'm sorry. I'm sure you would prefer to be pregnant. Bella, I'm a doctor, I've seen first hand people who are complacent in the fact that the pill is infallible get pregnant. Maybe there is only a small chance but do you really want to risk it?"

Why did he have to be so logical and naked? We had this discussion nearly every time we had sex, but I was adamant that my stubbornness would eventually win out against his logic. I finally decided that we could talk about this another time and wrapped my legs around his waist, drawing him in.

"You win this time," I mumbled against his lips and he grinned, "don't I always?" he said smugly before parting my lips with his and distracting me with his tongue.

He dragged my panties down my legs and flicked them across the kitchen where they landed on the blender. His hands smoothed up and down my thighs before he finally dipped between my legs, parting my folds and feeling just how wet I was.

I whimpered and shifted my hips closer as my eyes closed and my head fell back. His mouth attached itself to my neck, sucking and licking the skin, giving me another hickey that I would have to cover up and hide at school on Monday.

He stroked me before gathering up wetness around my entrance and pushing two fingers inside me. I hissed as his teeth embedded themselves into my neck, sending a shiver down my body. "Please Edward...can we just...shit!" There was no way I could form a coherent sentence when he curled his fingers like that inside me.

"What was that Bella?" he murmured, his fingers still pumping inside me. I opened my mouth to try and speak again but all that came out was a desperate mewl. He shifted between my legs and I felt the head of his cock rub against my clit. "Is there something you want?" he asked, with fake innocence.

I looked down and frowned when I saw that he already had the condom on, "When did you..." I trailed off and he snickered. "It isn't just women who can multitask," he said pulling his fingers out of me and wrapped his lips around them, sucking my juices off them slowly all the while keeping eye-contact. My lips parted and I couldn't help but swipe my tongue ore my lips as I panted.

He made it look so sensual and delicious. Under all the responsibility, logic and over-thinking, there was such a sensual being that only came out when we were alone.

He swiveled his hips and positioned himself at my entrance. "You ready?" he asked and I nodded vigorously.

He pressed forwards, slowly filling me, letting me feel every ridge of him until he was fully seated inside me. No matter how many times it happened, I could never get used to feel of the first entry. The fullness that filled me could not compared to anything else and as cliche as it sounded I felt like I wasn't really complete without him inside of me.

It made me yearn for him all the time and I think by the oftenest that we had sex, that he felt the same way, either that or we were both nymphomaniacs.

There was no immediate rush right now and we took our time. Each measured thrust bringing us slowly up to the edge. I rested my head on his shoulder, burying my face in the curve of his neck as I panted against him. My arms wrapped themselves around his waist and ran up and down his back slowly, tracing the line of his spine.

My eyes were closed and I just basked in the feeling of his gliding in and out of me, letting the pleasure and lust cloak me until all I felt was him and every part of our bodies touching.

It was probably the reason why we didn't hear anyone come through front door open until it closed. My eyes snapped open and I drew back in panic. We stared at each other for a long minute, not quite knowing what to do.

"Edward, Bella, you home?"

Shit! It was Emmett. Edward quickly pulled out of my and pulled up his boxers and slacks, not even bothering to take the condom of first. I snapped my legs closed and slid of the counter, quickly pulling my bra up and grabbing my top off the floor. Edward's shirt was a lost cause so he didn't even bother picking it up off the floor.

My eyes caught sight of my boyshorts on the blender, "Edward," I hissed, "my panties." His eyes tore away from mine and his eyes hit them just as Emmett walked into the room.

When put in a situation where you are caught red handed doing something-or someone-you know you shouldn't, you immediately do three things: deny, deflect, defend. That is what Edward did. Me, well I just tried to look as innocent as possible as I tied my hair up to hide my sex hair.

"It's not what it looks like." He said quickly.

Emmett just stood there like someone had just told him how his parents had conceived him; in complete horror. Most people thought because Emmett was a big guy that he was all brawn and no brain, but the guy was sharper than a tack. Most would have been confused by the two, guilty looking, half dressed people as their minds worked to figure out what had happened, but not Emmett. He got it the second he walked into the room.

"What are you doing here anyway?" Edward added on as he moved to stand in front of me, putting me out of Emmett's sight.

Sadly, the horror that so prominently taken over his face soon turned to anger as he gathered himself.

"So you're telling me that you weren't fucking Bella?" He asked angrily completely disregarding the second question as he pinched my boyshorts, that were still on the blender, between two fingers. I bit my bottom lip, a blush prominent on my face and finished tying my hair up as I pretty much hid behind Edward.

"It isn't like that Emmett. We are in a mutual, _consensual_ relationship." Edward argued back, standing tall and firm. I was actually really proud of him for sticking up for us, instead of just completely denying anything was happening between the two of us.

"So you are fucking her?"

We both stayed silent, which in itself gave him the answer we weren't saying. Emmett shook his head slowly, "I can't believe that you would stoop so low. She's a kid, Edward. You are fucking a kid!" That made me snap. _This_ was one of the reasons why I was reluctant to tell people about our relationship. Apart from the fact that to all the small-minded people we were incestuous, they all still saw me as a young, impressionable, naive child. I was no more a child than Elton John was straight. Edward didn't need this sort of guilt added to him.

"Shut the fuck up Emmett," I snarled. "I am eighteen, I am not a fucking child. I know exactly what I am doing, with who I am doing it with, and before you ask, no Edward didn't and hasn't tried to molest me in any way. _He_ didn't come to me asking for this, _I_ came to him , so if you're going to go putting blame on someone then at least put it on the right person. If it wasn't for me, we wouldn't be in this position, so think long and hard before you barge into our house throwing accusations around."

I let long breath through my nose as both Edward and Emmett stared at me in shock. I leveled my glare at Emmett, waiting for him to make a comment. Silence permitted the room for what seemed like hours, but was most likely only a minute.

"So you two are together?" he finally asked and we both nodded.

"Yes," Edward said quietly.

"We really care about each other," I added softly.

He ran a hand through his hair and let out a breath through his nose, "How long has this been going on?" His voice sounded resigned and hope welled up in me. Maybe just maybe he would be able to accept us as a couple.

"Since my birthday," I answered quietly. We would have to tread carefully if we wanted there to even be a hope of us to come out of this smoothly.

"Why didn't you tell me? I thought I was your best friend," he directed that question to Edward and I detected a slight hint of hurt in his voice. Edward sighed and raked a hand through his hair, "Emmett," he said, sounding wary, "if I told you, would your reaction have been any different? You would have accused me of sleeping with a kid and I didn't need you to trying to guilt me into ending things with her." He paused for a second, thinking his words carefully before he carried on.

"Em, you're my best friend and you always will be, but me and Bella both needed time to adjust to this relationship. Yes, maybe I should have told you, but I wanted it to be at a time where I knew you would support me, not shun me like everyone else would. This maybe strange and overwhelming to take in, but would please just try, for me. I don't want this to drive a rift between us."

Edward looked at Emmett pleadingly and a pained look went across his face as Emmett shook his head, "I don't know man. This-" he pointed between the me and Edward,"-is just...I don't know, it seems wrong. You two are like practically family. Its weird and just imagining what you two were doing before I got here makes me want to crawl inside of my own skin."

I sighed and leaned my head on the back of Edward's shoulder as I wrapped my arms around his waist. I could tell by his posture that he felt hopeless and to feel like I was the cause of it hurt.

"Please leave," I murmured quietly, not needing to hear anymore of anything he wanted to say. I knew getting into this relationship that acceptance would be few and far between, but to feel that rejection and to know its coming were two completely different things.

Emmett hesitated slightly, his eyes darting back to the hallway before he spoke again, this time without making eye-contact.

"Maybe...maybe when you come over for Thanksgiving next week we could...I don't know...talk about this." I was surprised that the invitation hadn't been retracted. I had assumed that this would be it. I think Edward as surprised as I was because his posture changed and he sounded slightly bewildered when he spoke, "Um...yeah, okay. Just...can you please not tell anyone about this, we need more time before we go public."

He nodded before turning and walking out.

We stood there in silence, just trying to come to grips with everything that had happened.

"That went better than I expected it to," Edward finally murmured.

"It could have gone worse." I said optimistically. We lapsed back into silence, thinking about the impending 'talk' we were going to have on Thanksgiving.

"It's going to be really awkward isn't it?"

I nodded, burying my head in the soft skin of his back. "Very."

"I think we burned the dinner." Edward commented and I shrugged, "I'm blaming you for that. You're just too damn irresistible." Edward turned around and wrapped his arms around me. "I'm not the one who ruined my favorite shirt." He pointed out and I let a smile spread across my face. "I'll buy you a new one."

Our conversation turned light, ignoring the dark cloud that lingered in the backs of our minds. I threw the burnt dinner out and we ordered in, just pigging out on chinese food in front of the tv in sweats. We stayed in our own little bubble even after we had crawled into bed, tangled together and for once we didn't need sex, we just needed the intimacy that our presence brought to each other.

Laying in his arms, our legs tangled under the sheets, I worried about what next week would hold. I knew Edward was sure about me, but I didn't want to come between him and his best friend. I sighed and shifted restlessly. Edward tightened his hold on me and brushed my hair out of my face placing a light kiss on my forehead.

"Everything's going to fine," he murmured and I closed my eyes, furiously wishing that he was right.

**AN: So what did you think? I am sad to say that Bella's and Alice's relationship will only go down hill from here. Review guys, you know you want to!**


	19. Confrontation

**AN: The next chapter! Thanks dirtypillowtalk for looking this over for me! Some of you may have noticed that I changed the summary of the story...it was a long time coming. Any who...on with the chapter!**

Confrontation

I think I have lost count of the amount of times I have been in a situation like this. I was sitting on a couch in Emmett and Rosalie's, his wife, house. Edward sat stiffly beside as Emmett sat across from us, in an armchair, leaning forwards, his elbows resting on his knees as his eyes flittered between us.

Rose sat on the armchair that Emmett was sitting on, her hand resting on his back. I wasn't surprised that he had told her as she was his wife and she hadn't really been part of the 'don't tell anyone.'

The silence around us was deafening and the tension weighed heavily on my shoulders. The room felt too small and I could feel too many eyes on me, probing me to find all my secrets, wanting to know things that I would not tell. Each breath that passed through my lips in heavy and my heart pounded as I ran my sweaty palms over my legs.

I could feel myself hunching inwards, unconsciously trying to protect and defend myself, refusing to look up. I was surprised that my bottom lip wasn't bloodied and broken by how hard I was chewing on it. I was about five minutes away from having a panic attack when I felt Edward's hand rub the skin between my skirt and top, rubbing small circles into my hip.

I couldn't help but move into his side, and his hand wrapped around my waist. My eyes darted up to look at him from beneath the curtain of hair that I had hiding behind. He gave me a reassuring smile.

He leaned down till his mouth was by my ear and whispered, "Everything is going to be fine." As much as I wanted to believe him, I knew I couldn't. I shook my head slightly.

"No, it's not," I whispered back and he sighed quietly.

"Whatever happens today Bella, it doesn't change anything. We'll get through it...together." I could feel tears well up in my eyes and I wondered for what was probably the millionth time how I got such a sweet man.

We were brought out of our moment by a throat clearing and we immediately put space between us, a blush staining my cheeks and I think Edward's ears turned pink. The position we had been in was rather intimate and probably wasn't helping them to accept us.

Rosalie sighed and crossed her arms over her chest, "Are we actually going to talk or are we just going to sit here in silence." Emmett finally tore his eyes away from us to look over at his wife, "Babe..." He said, but she put up a hand telling him to keep quiet.

"No Emmett, this whole situation is completely unnecessary and stupid. The food is getting cold and yet you just sit here like a sack of potatoes doing nothing. Say what you have to say and come eat. This is none of my business. They are both two consenting adults and frankly there is nothing we can do short of physically separating them so just accept that and move on." With that she walked out the room and disappeared into the kitchen.

I think without her presences the tension actually got heavier, but Emmett leaned back in his chair and leveled us with an even look.

"She's right. There isn't anything I can do to separate you two. I'm just trying to understand where all this came from. Did you just wake up one morning and go 'you know what, let's have sex?'"

Edward raked a hand through his hair, "I guess it was a gradual thing, wasn't it?" he glanced at me imploringly and I smiled reassuringly at him before focusing back on Emmett.

"I've always had feelings for Edward, but it was really in the last couple of months that things started to come together. It was a week before my birthday that I was sure that Edward's feelings were the same as mine. We didn't actually do anything until my birthday. Our relationship isn't as smooth and as easy as you might think. Everything is still pretty new between us and balancing our separate relationships-platonic and romantic- is difficult. The reason Edward hadn't told you was not just because of your reaction is was also the fact that we needed a solid foundation for our relationship to flourish and without people putting us down and giving their opinion it would have made it doomed from the start."

Emmett groaned and ran both hands over his face, "I just...you two have always been like brother and sister, but now you're...this and nothing seems to be making any sense. I'm not sure I can accept the fact that you two are together right now, but maybe with time...just don't shove it down my throat." With that he stood up and left the room. I sunk back into the couch and let out a long breath.

"What the fuck has he been doing for the past week?" I muttered feeling slightly exasperated. It had been over a week since he had caught us in the kitchen, shouldn't he be trying just a little bit harder to understand this.

"Cut him some slack, he tends to ignore the things he doesn't want to face. He still sees you as the impressionable kid I seduced for my own pleasure. He sees everything in black and white so when you veer into the grey he can't really understand what your reasons for doing something like that is. He'll come round eventually; you just have to give him space."

I ran a hand through my hair and closed my eyes briefly before looking over at Edward, "I just don't want to ruin the friendship you two have. You've been friends since you were kids and I don't want to be you're Yoko Ono and split you two up."

Edward stood up and offered me his hand, "It doesn't matter Bella. If he can't accept it then he isn't the friend I thought he was. You're my main priority, always have been and if anyone threatens you, then they will have to deal with me...including Emmett."

I smiled up at me and grasped his hand tightly as he pulled me up. We stood there for an immeasurable minute, just looking at each other before I spoke quietly.

"I guess we should go have Thanksgiving dinner." He nodded slowly and kissed my forehead. "I guess you're right," he said apprehensively.

Dinner mainly consisted of Emmett sulking and watching us with a hawk eye to make sure we didn't do anything, which was uncomfortable to say the least. Thankfully Rosalie distracted me, by pretending that Emmett didn't exist, and we made plans to go shopping the next morning.

Usually Alice would force me out of bed at an ungodly hour, but as Rose was four months pregnant and she didn't want to get anywhere before eight.

I decided that in the unlikeliest of chances that Alice still wanted to go shopping, that she could tag along with us.

It felt nice to talk to someone after keeping things to myself all the time. While Edward listened when I vented, he didn't fully understand what I was going on about half the time and that just exasperated me further. Guys just weren't the best listeners when it came to feelings and stuff that generally only other girls would understand. You had to go through it to understand it.

We were half way through desert when my phone rang and when I saw that it was Alice I quickly excused myself from the table and went outside to take it.

"Hello?" I asked cautiously because hell she hadn't even been acknowledging my presence recently, I had every right to be hesitant.

"Bella!" She exclaimed into the phone, "Happy Thanksgiving!"

I was torn between smiling and frowning at her attitude. On one hand, she was happy which was a good thing as far as I knew, but on the other she was acting like the last two months hadn't happened and let's be honest, divorce or no divorce I had every right to be a least slightly peeved at her.

"So you're talking to me again?" I asked, trying not to let the bitterness into my tone.

She sighed and I could actually hear the pout as she spoke, "Oh don't be like that Bella. I know I've been a royal bitch to you recently and I am totally going to make it up to you, which is the reason why I am calling you. I think we should head to Seattle tomorrow so we can have a wider variation of shops to choose from. We can talk and shop and clear the air of all this fuckery."

I was sure she was probably beaming at her own 'genius,' but to be honest I wasn't buying it. You don't go from depressed to hyper that quickly unless you are either drunk or high.

I also hated the fact that she thought that because she wasn't there that I would pining away at home doing nothing and while before today that would have been true-actually I would probably would have been doing Edward but that's beside the point-I was not about to let her know that.

"Actually Alice, I have plans tomorrow. Rose and I have planned a shopping trip and it would be rude for me to bail on her. You're welcome to join us though."

The line was silent for a minute, "Who the fuck is Rose?" she spat with venom. I was actually kind of shocked at her behavior. "She's Emmett's wife. You know, Edward's best friend."

"Since when have you two gotten chummy," she demanded and I frowned wondering what was with the third degree.

"Since today actually; Emmett found out about me and Edward-something you would know if you weren't too busy ignoring me-and she doesn't have a problem with it. Plus, I don't know why you are interrogating me, did you really think that just because you dropped me like I meant nothing to you that I would sit around at home waiting for you? You are my best friend Alice, but with the way things are going between us I don't think I can even call you that anymore. I am not that girl Alice. I will not be used and treated like dirt."

I let out a huge breath after I had finished, wondering where that had all come from. I was generally a more demure person, but recently it was like I was putting my foot down and saying enough was enough.

"Is that how you feel?" she asked quietly and I heard another voice in the background that was distinctly male.

"Are you with someone right now?" I asked, ignoring her question. I felt bad that maybe someone had heard me getting mad at Alice.

She sniffled, making me feel even worse, "I don't see why you would care. I mean, you would actually have to stop fucking Edward for a minute to even give a damn about how I am feeling. You think it's tough for you? You have everything! You have a great boyfriend, a stable home, you have everything you fucking want and I have nothing. My parents are getting a messy divorce in which neither of them actually want me, I have no one to talk to talk to and I'm all alone, so don't you start pointing fingers at me saying I'm not there for you. You don't need me."

I seriously couldn't believe that she was trying to put this all on me.

"I tried Alice. I fucking tried to be there for you, but you kept shutting me down all the time. You didn't want to talk, you chose to be alone and, for the record, I do need you. I always have and my life is not perfect. I worry everyday that my mother will show up here because she sent me a birthday card begging me for forgiveness. I couldn't even read it. I had a panic attack just seeing her name written in it. I am ruining Edward's relationship with Emmett because Emmett cannot accept that we are together. I worry about you and it hurts to know that the one person I could always rely on has turned her back on me. I am constantly scared of losing everyone around and right now, if I didn't have Edward, I would spiral into depression. My life is not perfect, it is far from it. But unlike some people, I am still trying to make the best of it."

And with that I hung up with her. I felt exhausted, both mentally and emotionally, as I tried to keep the tears back. I was not going to cry over her. If she wanted to fix our friendship then she was going to have to make the first move because I was done.

I raked a hand through my hair and tilted my head back, willing the tears not to fall when I felt his arms wrap around me and pull me to him.

I immediately melted back into him and turned my head to bury it in his shoulder.

"How long were you listening?" I asked quietly.

"Long enough to know that I am proud of you for sticking up for yourself," I nodded slowly, frustration peeking again. "I just don't know how she can try and force all her problems onto me after basically acting like I didn't exist. It's not fair on me to carry all her crap on top of all of mine."

He hummed in approval of my statement and buried his head in my hair, inhaling deeply. I turned in his arms and wrapped mine around his waist. "Why did you come out here anyway?" I asked. Edward sighed and shrugged, "Emmett's being a dick and Rose was about five seconds away from hitting him around the back of his head. I decided to get out while I still had all my body parts."

I snorted, "Do you think they'd notice if we just left?" I'm not going to lie; there was a lot of hope in my voice. He chuckled and was about to respond when my phone went off again. I picked it up hesitantly, but after seeing the unknown number sign flash up and I quickly put it down. I didn't know who was calling and I wasn't sure I wanted to.

"Who was that?" Edward asked and I shrugged, trying to be nonchalant. "Unknown number, probably just the wrong number." I knew he wasn't buying it, but I had to try.

"How many times has this happened," he asked gently, not wanting to set me off. I sighed, "A few." I admitted.

"Do you think it's-"

"No! Please just don't go there right now. I'm stressed enough as it is," I said interrupting him. "I know it could be her, but even if it is, it's not like I'm ever going to pick up the phone when I see that number."

He sighed heavily, "Have you ever thought of getting a restraining order, just in case?" I shook my head, "I can't do anything until she makes a prominent move where I feel threatened. It's not like I can go to the police. The only evidence I have is a card and an unknown number."

"This is so fucked up." Edward muttered and I couldn't help agree with him. There were always the ups and downs, but the last week had proved that this was just the beginning of it. The trials and bumps in the road had just started and I already felt like just going home and staying there.

"Hey," Edward whispered gaining my attention, "we can do this. We'll take it one day at a time." I nodded absently not really looking at him or believing him. He grasped my face in his hands and crashed his lips against mine.

It's funny how as soon as I felt the softness of them to my mouth, everything disappeared. It melted away and was filed away for later. He pulled back after a few minutes breathing heavily as he looked deep into my eyes, his forehead resting against mine.

"Don't give up on us Bella. I know it's hard, but we've gotta fight for this. Fuck everyone else and focus on us. I'm not going to lose you when I only just got you." I could see the faint hint of desperation in his eyes and I felt bad for putting it there.

"Never," I vowed, "I wouldn't give this up for the world."

Just thinking back to how this had come to pass made me see that there was no way we could have _not_ been together. It's funny how when you know the answer, the question seems so obvious like you were an idiot to have missed all the signs, the clues and hints.

"Let's go home." I whispered and he nodded, taking my hand and leading back into the house to get our stuff and leave. I had lived my life so dependent on people, but ever since Edward and I came together it seemed as though I was growing within myself and finally taking charge. There was no way I was going to give that up, give him up.

**AN: So how did you think it went? Don't worry about Bella and Alice, this is a turning point. They had to get all there feelings out there before they could even begin to start trying to rescue their relationship. Review and tell me! Also I have started writing outtakes! So if you haven't already, go check it.**

_**http:/fandomagainstdomesticviolence(.)blogspot(.)com/**_

_**I will be contributing an outtake or side-shot for Preconceived Notions for this very, very important cause. The outtake will be in Edward POV and will have their wedding and other little snippets in it. Please check out the site. The list of contributing authors is enormous! Donations will be accepted from Feb 1-28th. Minimum donation is $10.00 and will go directly to National Coalition Against Domestic Violence.**_


	20. Making Ground

**AN: I'm sorry it took so long to get this chapter out. I had to practically rewrite the whole thing, it just wasn't working for me and then fanfiction wasn't working, gah! Also, I'm not sure if any of you guys heard, but there was a bomb that exploded in Jerusalem right where I take the bus, my sister missed it by ten minutes! Scary to think just how close that was. Anyway, thanks to dirtypillowtalk for beta'ing this for me.**

Making Ground

My hands rested on his thighs causing me to push my naked chest forwards as I moved over him, our hips rocking in a slow, measured pace. The room was filled with quiet moans and gasps for breath and I let my eyes fall closed as his hands splayed over my hips and onto my ass.

We were enjoying the feel of reconnecting physically as it had been nearly two weeks since we last had sex. Me because of my time of the month and him with his ridiculous work hours, so we were making up for lost time this weekend.

My hair stuck to my forehead and I tilted my head back, basking in the completeness of him being inside me. My lips parted and a soft whimper left my lips as I pressed my hips down on him, our bodies thrusting and pushing against each other like we had been doing this for years.

My hands gripped his thighs tightly as my nails dug into the pliable skin. I could feel one of his hands randomly tapping my ass gently every few seconds and I pulled back impatiently, my eyes snapping open.

"Just do it," I groaned out without really thinking about what I was asking. All I knew was that there was a feeling in the pit of my stomach that told me to push him to do something. He let out a moan as I ground down on him, "Do what?" I raised an eyebrow and sat up before glancing down to where his hand was still tapping my ass. His eyes followed to where I was looking and I gathered that tapping my ass-no pun intended-had been an unconscious thing that he was doing.

Suddenly out of nowhere I heard a slap and felt a sharp stinging on my ass. I let out a squeak of surprise and jerked my hips forwards, causing my clit to rub against his pelvis as my walls tightened around him. A shiver of pleasure ran down my back and I let my squeak fade into a moan. Edward's eyes widened underneath me and I bit down on my lip as a dark blush spread over me.

"Did you...do you like that?" Edward asked; shock laced in his voice. My eyes flittered away from his in embarrassment; it wasn't like I set out to like being spanked. I mean after I got over the initial pain of it, it felt kind of...arousing?

"I-I-I-" My brain furiously worked to come up with an answer, but it wasn't needed as Edward leaned up and pulled my mouth into a hard kiss.

I melted into him as his tongue dominated my mouth forcefully and whimpered as I felt his hands softly knead the flesh of my ass. All too soon though he moved his kisses to my jaw and up to my ear, heaving his hot breath against my skin making me shiver.

"You're such a dirty girl," he growled, pulling me down harder onto him. "My dirty girl," he corrected himself and somehow my blush deepened. From another perspective it would be rather humorous that I was blushing while riding him, my breasts swaying, my skin sweaty, and Edward's hands kneading away at my ass.

Though to be honest it was more my reaction to his words that embarrassed me. I swear that I was dripping all over him, practically making a puddle on the sheets.

His hand came down on my ass again, but this time I was more ready for it. I gasped and arched my back forward, my chest brushing with his as my head fell back.

My thighs burned from the friction of rubbing along his hips and I could feel tingles running up and down my spine as I continued rocking on top of him. His lips attacked my breasts and I weaved my hands into his hair, pulling him closer, never wanting to let him go. Edward let out a long moan as my walls squeezed him, wrapping tightly around him, as my release came closer.

"Yes," he hissed. "That's it baby girl, come for me." Three thrusts later and one slap on the ass had me shuddering and whimpering as I came. I dug my nails into the bedding as gasping breaths left me and let my shaking hands give out so that I fell against his chest, my head tucked into his neck as he continued thrusting up into me until he found his own release and lay back on the bed.

We lay there panting and sweating for a few minutes before Edward rolled onto his side and hitched my leg over his.

"That was...different," he commented and the flush that had faded came back. I hummed in agreement, content to just lay here for a few minutes before I had to drag myself out of bed and into the shower.

My thoughts flickered to what we had just done and I peered up at him, "The next thing you know you'll want to tie me up and blindfold me." I giggled at that thought because while I had to admit it was a hot idea, I didn't think it was really in Edward's comfort zone.

I noticed that Edward had stayed silent and if I wasn't mistaken his ears had turned pink in embarrassment. My eyes widened as I took him in and my mouth fell open in shock.

"Do you...I mean...wow." I could barely form a coherent sentence and Edward seemed to squirm under my gaze, looking all flushed and embarrassed. I couldn't quite believe it; Edward had a secret layer of kink that he had kept hidden from me!

"It's not that bad, I mean loads of people do it," he muttered and I raised an eyebrow, "Yeah, when they're involved in BDSM," I teased.

I pushed him onto his back and got up on my hands and knees and rested my forehead against his, deciding that making fun of him probably wasn't the best way to go about this. His brow furrowed and he closed his eyes as I kissed his lips, "You know," I murmured, making my voice low and seductive.

"I would let you tie me up and have your wicked way with me anytime you wanted." His eyes popped open and he looked at me incredulously, "Really?"

I blushed and nibbled on my lip nervously, a weird sense of excitement flooding through me at the thought, and nodded.

He opened his mouth to say something when my phone went off and the sound of Justin Timberlake's _Cry Me a River_ sounded through the room. I let out a groan, knowing that private time was over and slid off the bed, only pausing to slip on Edward's discarded shirt. I found my jeans and pulled my phone out.

"Hello," I said into the phone already knowing it was Alice on the other end.

I heard a heavy release of breath on the other side before she spoke, "I just wanted to call and apologize for being an insensitive bitch to you on Thanksgiving. I know I've been distant, but I'm really trying to sort through all my problems. Everything seems to have gone to shit around me and I'm sorry for taking it out on you."

To say I was shocked was a little bit of an understatement. Alice hardly ever gave people apologies. Well, yeah, she gave apologies where they were needed, but they were never this sincere and...Well apologetic.

Remorse flooded because I had been a bit of a bitch myself that day and while she deserved it, there probably was a better way for me to have handled it. She had so much shit weighing down on her and while she refused to let me help, I should have gone easier on her.

"I'm sorry too. I could have handled things way better than I did. I guess I was feeling irritated and you caught me at a bad time."

I noticed movement out of the corner of my eye and watched as Edward walked naked into the bathroom, only pausing to give me a sinful smirk and a suggestive look before disappearing inside, leaving the door slightly ajar.

"Bella?" I jolted out of my naked Edward trance and tried to concentrate, I could think about that later.

"Um...sorry, got a little distracted there. What were you saying?"

"I was asking if you wanted to meet up at the diner to, you know, talk." I hated how nervous and unsure she sounded when asking me. It seemed that the damage to our relationship had gone down much deeper than either of us would have liked. I had never merely thought of my friendship with Alice as just a high school thing like most friendships.

We had shared a kinship that ran a lot deeper and I refused to let our disagreements fester any longer.

"Sure. I should be free in..." My eyes glanced towards the bathroom where I could hear the shower running and decided that Edward and a shower sounded like a good idea. Two birds with one stone and all.

"...An hour. Give me one hour and I'll meet you there."

By the time I actually got to the diner it was more close to an hour and a half, but that was more Edward's fault than mine. It wasn't my fault that his mouth was so talented that I practically had to dress as I ran out of the door. I spotted Alice sitting in a booth near the back and made my way over to her as pulled on the end of my wet ponytail to try and get all the access water out of it.

"Hey," I sighed as I plopped down across from her. She raised an eyebrow at my flushed cheeks and out of breath breathing. I shrugged, "I ran," I explained and sunk deeper into my seat. She nodded and we sat in an awkward silence for a few minutes until the waitress came up and we ordered some food and drinks.

"So..." Alice started, "how's Edward?" I looked at her skeptically because I really didn't think she wanted to know, if our last conversation was anything to go by. "Um, he's fine; busy, but fine." She nodded and ran a hand through her hair before letting out a sigh. "I hate that because of me our relationship has turned into this. I hate that we have to spend so much time thinking about what we should say when it used to be so easy. What happened to us?"

I let out a sigh of my own, "We both created lives that didn't include each other. We don't trust each other like we used to and while I don't think our relationship will ever be like it used to, we can work on fixing it." She nodded and after that the tension kind of lessened and we had a good time. We ate and talked, skimming over the more intense subjects and sticking to the easy ones.

I noticed that after a while she seemed slightly distracted and kept checking her phone and I wondered if there was somewhere she needed to be.

"If there's somewhere you need to go its fine," I said, giving her the exit she needed. She glanced up from her phone where she had been texting and shook her head. She chewed nervously on her lip before speaking. "No, its fine. It's just...it's nothing important. I can sort it out later." I nodded and was about to speak when a horn honked outside. I think everyone in the diner looked out the window when they heard it.

Alice practically tripped over as she stood up and grabbed her bag.

"I have to go," she muttered abruptly, stuffing her phone into her bag. "I'll talk to you later, okay?" Her eyes begged for me to understand and I gave her a small smile and nodded. She let out a relieved breath and high-tailed it out of the diner and into the dark blue Mercedes. I caught the edge of a guy's jaw before her door slammed shut and the car sped off. I briefly wondered if this was the guy that I had heard with her when she called on Thanksgiving.

I pushed it to the back of my mind and got up. By the time I got home I found Edward sprawled on the couch with a big bowl of popcorn watching a movie.

He looked up at me when he noticed me, "How'd it go?" he asked, except because his mouth was full of popcorn, it sounded more like, "How zhit gof?"

I shrugged and took my coat and shoes off, "It was good." He patted the couch and I curled up next to him and stole the popcorn.

"It may take a while, but little by little we should be able to trust each other again." He kissed my forehead, "It seems so long ago that I had to put up with the drama of high school life," he teased before taking a handful of popcorn and shoving it in his mouth. "Not everyone can be as old as you," I teased back. He made a scoffing noise, but didn't comment.

We turned our attention to the TV and settled down to enjoy the rest of the afternoon without interruptions, and while not everything was perfect it was a lot better than it had been in a while.

**AN:Finally the relationships are being repaired. Review and I will give you a teaser to make up for the delay! I am also contributing to both Fandom for Tsunami and Fandom for Sexual assult. There will be an outtake for this story as well as a new one shot.**


	21. New Discoveries

**AN: I've been wanting to write this chapter for a while and was pretty pleased with the result. Lets just hope you like it as much-if not more-than I did. Thanks to dirtypillowtalk for beta'ing this baby for me.**

New Discoveries

"This is bullshit," I muttered as I tried to burrow deeper into my coat. Since school had let out for the Christmas holiday, Edward had decided that we should go and pick out a tree while they were still 'fresh.' And that was why we were in the one and only tree lot in Forks when it was below freezing.

"Watch your language," Edward replied absently as he walked up and down the rows of trees. I scowled at him, hating the fact that we had to keep our distance from each other as we were in public. I had never really been one for making a big deal about holidays and I didn't understand why he couldn't just pick the one closest to the exit and be done with it.

"Can we just go home? This is boring," I whined like a five year old. Edward stopped and turned around to look at me with his eyebrows raised. "Maybe if you stopped acting like a spoiled five year old and actually helped me then this could go a lot quicker."

I rolled my eyes and pointed to the tree in front of us, "What about this one?" I asked, trying to keep the boredom out of my voice. He looked at me in shock, "Please tell me that you're joking," he practically begged. I shrugged, "What's wrong with it?" Sure, the tree was a bit on the droopy side and was looking like it could do with a bit of water, but all in all it only had to last for a week or two.

"Where do I even begin? It looks like it's just been run over by a truck and then shoved into someone's trunk, starved for a few weeks before they brought it here."

I sighed and dug my hands further into my pockets before giving him a completive look. "What about this? You pick the nearest tree and I'll do anything you want." I gave him a suggestive look and he hesitated. "Anything?" he asked and I nodded feeling triumphant. "_Anything_."

Ever since Edward had revealed a more kinky side to him, we had been a lot more adventurous and I was looking forward to what he could come up with.

He scanned the lot quickly before grabbing the tree I had pointed at. I raised an eyebrow at him and he grinned sheepishly at me, "What? It was only hit by a small truck." I couldn't help but laugh at that. He picked it up and went to pay for it while I swiped his keys and headed back to the car.

I can tell you that with the right motivation men can do anything and they can do it at a fast pace too. I swear I barely had enough time to yawn before we were pulling up in front of our house.

Edward barely had the engine switched off before he was out of the car and opening the front door. I hurriedly undid my seatbelt and followed him into the house, the tree long forgotten.

As soon as the door was closed behind us I felt that annoying weight that held me down when we were out fall from my shoulders. It also helped that Edward had me pressed back against the door, his mouth fused to mine indefinitely.

His hands rested on either side of my head and his body was pressed flush into me. I melted into him, my body automatically molding itself around him. Our kisses were frantic and unrelenting, the tension releasing as clothes hit the floor.

I remember telling Edward when we first got together officially that how, because our relationship wasn't conventional, that sex was a perk, a way to rid ourselves of anything and everything weighing on us.

I jumped up, wrapping my legs around his waist. He stumbled back surprised by my sudden movement and slammed into the wall. If you asked how we ended up in his office, I wouldn't be able to give you an answer because I was too preoccupied with getting him out of the rest of his clothes to even notice that we were moving.

Things went flying as we scrambled to stay upright, our hands flailing around to find purchase on something sturdy. He finally collapsed in his office chair, my legs still wrapped around him. I pulled back and raised my eyebrows at him, my chest heaving with every breath.

"This was what you wanted?" I asked having expected something a bit more...I don't know, adventurous? Kinky? Something a little more different from what we did every day. I could ride him anytime, it wasn't anything that different, apart from the fact that it was in his office, but still you get what I am trying to say.

He merely smirked at me before lifting me off his lap to stand between his legs. All I was wearing at the point was my underwear and I bit down on my bottom lip, squirming slightly underneath his heated gaze.

He ran his hands up my thighs slowly, leaving a burning trail before running round to my ass and sneaking his hand underneath my panties before giving it a squeeze. I let out an unsteady breath and caught hold of the desk behind me to make sure I didn't fall down. He pulled my panties down before continuing his path upwards and unhooking my bra leaving me naked.

He stood up and discarded his jeans and underwear and pressed himself against me, every single inch. He leaned his head down till his lips were centimeters away from mine. I could taste him on my breath and my lips parted and my tongue ran over my bottom lip with no persuasion from my brain. His eyes danced with mischief and before I could register anything I found my facing away from him, my top half bent over the desk.

I let out a gasp of surprise and moaned as I felt his hand part my thighs wider.

"Have I told you just how beautiful you look naked and spread out for me?" he asked; his voice rough. "In passing," I panted out and I felt a hand come down on my ass in reprimand.

"Did I say you could talk?" He asked; a dangerous lilt in his tone. I kept quiet, not sure if I should answer the question and he wound his hand around my hair and tugged it back making a delicious burn run through my scalp. "Answer me," he ordered.

I nodded vigorously, trying to stop myself from rubbing my legs together. "Yes," his hand connected with my ass again. "Yes, what," I paused not understanding for a few seconds before a light bulb flashed in my head.

"Sir," I practically purred. "Yes, Sir."

He groaned, "You don't know what it does to me when I hear you say that. Are you ready for me baby girl?" I nodded as I felt his fingers dip between my legs. "Yes, Sir," I whimpered out. His fingers teased me, purposefully not touching me where I wanted him to.

"Hmmm, are you sure? Because you sure don't sound like it. Tell me you want this, that you want my cock." He leaned down so that his mouth was level with my ear. "Beg for it," he whispered.

I was sure he could feel my wetness coating his fingers and running down my thighs, but there was no way I could stop it. "Please Sir," I breathed out. "I need you."

"Come on baby girl," he scoffed, "you can do better than that."

I let out a huff of frustration and just let the words pour out. "I need so badly that I can barely think. Just trying to think about you on my skin, in my mouth, inside me, filling me up until I can't take any more has me on the edge. You make me so wet just thinking about the things you do, and can do, to my body. I love the way your fingers work me, knowing exactly which places to hit. How your tongue goes deep inside me, making me come in seconds. Every single thing about you makes me wet. Your hands, your cock, your body, your voice. I think I could even cum by just listening to your voice. Give me what I need, what we both need. Now!"

He was quiet behind me and he withdrew his fingers from me. I tensed, wondering if I had said something wrong when suddenly I felt all off him thrust deep inside of me. My eyes widened and my mouth fell open in a silent 'o' as I tried to get my brain to catch up with what was happening.

His hands gripped my hips tightly as he reared back and slammed into me. Finally a moan managed to find its way out of my mouth as I arched back against him.

There is no way to really describe how it felt as he slammed into me; the lust that fell down in waves around me, clouding my mind and begging for more. I now understand how someone could get addicted to it.

The high it gave you was so...I'm not sure if I can describe it right, but it was something you never wanted to give up. Everything around you disappeared and the only other thing you were aware of was the man behind you, in you.

I didn't want it to stop and I voiced my desperation, "More, please give me more." I begged. He let out a strained, short chuckle, "Quite demanding, aren't we?" he said, more to himself than to me. But he obeyed slamming into me harder and faster, hardly giving me time to breath.

It was unrelenting, all consuming and I loved every single second of it.

Only people who have actually experienced can fully understand what it's like. It wasn't just fucking-it may have started as that but it wasn't any longer-it was an attempt to merge to bodies together to find a deeper connection.

It was love, need, desperation, acceptance, fear, and excitement all rolled into one.

It was a time when you fully realized how close anger and love were and how passion sewed them together. I wanted to rip him apart, literally open him up. I wanted to sink my teeth into him, to dig my nails into his skin. I wanted to mark him, to make him understand just how much he was mine. I ached to scratch at him, to yank on his hair.

Maybe I was crazy, maybe Edward had fucked the last of my brain cells out of my head, but I swear to you that nothing could compare to this kind of closeness.

By the time we came, in a frenzy of screams and blurred vision, I was exhausted. We collapsed back into his office chair; I was curled up against his sweaty chest, breathing like we had just run a marathon. I closed my eyes and just basked in the post-coital glow that surrounded us, wondering when we were going to do that again.

Sadly the moment was broken by the sound of Edward's phone ringing. I let out a groan and leaned down, without leaving his lap, and picked up his jeans before fishing through the pockets. I pulled out his phone and just stared at it trying to tell myself that there was no way that the person who kept calling my phone knew Edward's number as well.

"Edward?" I said slowly. He let out a grunt in response and I put the phone down carefully on the desk. "That's the same number that keeps calling my phone."

It was like time stopped for a few minutes as we both stared at the desk where my phone vibrated, the unknown number flashing up. I swear that for a few seconds that I actually stopped breathing until Edward broke the silence.

"This is stupid," he muttered and before I could say anything he had leaned over and picked up the phone.

"Hello?" he questioned into the phone and nudged me slightly, signaling for me to get off his lap. I obeyed silently and pulled on his wife beater before slipping my panties on.

"I'm sorry, but I think you have the wrong number." Edward said; a frown prominent on his face.

If this moment had not been so serious I would have taken the time to really appreciate the fact that he was sitting, naked, in his chair, his feet spread slightly as he talked on the phone. He looked all serious and professional. I did wish though that I could hear what the person on the other side was saying because whatever it was not making Edward happy.

"Excuse me? Who the fuck do you think you are?" he asked, irritation clouding his tone. My heart started beating quicker because somewhere deep down I knew who it was and though I might deny it, there was no way I could simply brush it off like I usually did.

"You come within ten miles of her and I will slap you so hard with a restraining order that you'll feel it for weeks, and that is _my_ threat to you." It was strange how his expression turned from fury to panic so quickly.

Whatever she had said had hit a chord because he pulled the phone back and stared at it for a second before throwing it at the wall. He let out a growl of frustration before hunching forwards, resting his elbows on his knees and tugging at his hair. I wasn't sure if he knew I was even in the same room and I hated the fact that she got to him, much like she got to me.

I moved silently towards him and carefully unwound his hands from his hair before he did any real damage and threaded my fingers through them. He leaned back in his chair, his eyes firmly shut, and I climbed up onto his lap.

"What did she say?" I asked hesitantly, not sure if I actually wanted to know the answer. He sighed and looked at me with sorrowful eyes. "She's here and she has someone watching us. She knows about us and is trying to use the information she has against us to get me to let you see her."

I stiffened, fear creeping up. He wouldn't do that just to keep us secret, would he? We both knew that it had to come out sooner or later and we had been prolonging our time together. I didn't need some sort of ultimatum to try and force my hand. Even if she _did_ want to see me, there was no way I would willingly go to her.

"...Not that I could make you go anyway, even if I wanted to." I shot out of his lap and looked at him incredulously, "What?" I asked, eyeing him warily. He regarded me cautiously before answering, "You're eighteen now. An adult. I don't really have a say in what you do or say."

I hesitated for a second before decided to just ask, "What do you think we should do?" He shrugged. "Well I don't know about you, but I'd like to do you." I could tell he was trying to lighten the mood, but all I gave him was a condescending look.

He sighed, slouching further in his chair, "What exactly do you want me to say? It's not my choice, it's yours, but if you really want to hear my opinion: I don't want you anywhere near the bitch. I don't give a fuck what her agenda is. So what if she broadcasts the fact that we're together? We both knew that it would come out sooner or later and you're going off to college this summer anyway."

I relaxed and climbed back onto his lap and ran my hands threw his hair.

"I don't want to see her," I murmured, "she ruined my life and it would take a lot more than some dumb ultimatum to get me to give her a second chance." Edward sighed in relief and kissed the side of my head.

He turned me around so that I was straddling him and cupped my face in his hands. "You don't know how good that makes me feel knowing that you have the confidence to know that we can make it through this. I would hate for you to have to compromise yourself for her ridiculous threats. We'll work through it."

I nodded slowly and latched my mouth with his as a mix of trepidation and excitement churned in my stomach. There was no way for me to accurately predict the future, but I could tell right there and then that my life was just about to take a nosedive down into the ocean. I needed Edward and I needed Alice.

**AN: So what did you think? Will their secret relationship be revealed or was it just an empty threat? Huh, you'll just have to see. Review and lets see if I can get 1000 with this chapter!**

**I am participating in Fandom for Mental Illness without an outtake from this story.****I am also participating in Fandom for Tsunami with a new one-shot and I am participating in Fandom for Sexual assault awareness with the first part of Edward's POV of First time.**


	22. Shopping and Stalking

**AN: I decided that with everything going on that I would post early. This is un-beta'd so sorry for the mistakes.**

Shopping and Stalking

I sipped carefully on my overpriced Starbuck's hot chocolate and tried to refrain from slipping off to the bookstore while Alice had her mini wig out. She was trying to the 'perfect' present for her mystery boyfriend. Since I had never met the guy and didn't even know his name, it was an incredibly annoying task.

The only hint I had gotten from Alice was that I would most likely not approve so I had let it go thinking that she was most likely dating some college dropout or something.

It was most likely a phase that she was going through and if she didn't want me to meet him then I wasn't going to push it. We hadn't quite got close enough again to really talk about the deeper issues going on with us, but I had told her about my mother out of necessity.

Alice spun around from where she had been practically demolishing a rack of shirts and threw her hands up in what I hoped was defeat. "...Nothing. I swear that there is not one good thing in this stupid mall. We should have gone to Seattle." I could literally hear her try to see if we had enough to time to go over there.

"Don't even think about it Alice. Even with your crazy driving we wouldn't be able to make it. Plus I would like to go home sometime soon so hurry up." She gave me a glare that would make a lesser woman backtrack but I simply raised my eyebrows at her challengingly. She huffed and looked at me pleadingly, "Will you just please help me?" I rolled my eyes and took another sip of my hot chocolate, "Get him something off the internet."

She seemed to contemplate it for a minute before nodding, "That might be best. What did you get Edward for Christmas?" I shrugged, "Um...a few shirts, festive gag gift socks, and a ridiculously expensive watch he hasn't shut up about for the last month."

I'm telling you right now that around holiday's Edward turned into a little kid. I literally couldn't put the presents underneath the tree until the actual day because he would open them and then re-wrap them. He had spent the whole weekend putting up lights outside that you could see our house from the other side of town, not that the other side of town was that far away but you get what I'm saying.

By the obsessive way he went on about the watch, you'd think it was Jesus himself. All I had to do was go to the shop with a picture of it and they had it gift-wrapped and in a little bag before I even saw how much it cost.

"How come it's so easy for you to by his presents?" Alice whined, "Men are so hard to shop for." I snickered at her frustration, "I live with the guy and let's just say he isn't afraid to ask for what he wants." I wiggled my eyebrows suggestively at her and had to hold back the laughter bubbling up at her face. She looked so shocked and her mouth had actually fallen open.

"Isabella Marie Cullen, you did not just make an innuendo," I blushed and laughed, "I'm sorry I just couldn't help myself." She shook her head at me, "Just think that before the summer you were my prudish best friend. Now look at you with your active sex life, which by the way I need the details about, and your confidence. You my dear have grown up so much."

I grinned at her and nudged with my shoulder, "You've got Edward to thank for that. I don't know what it is about him, and this is going to sound so cliche, but he brings out the best in me. He helps me grow and blossom so that I can be more than I ever I could. But I can honestly say that when we move away and have a fresh start, it'll be sublime."

Alice frowned at me, "What about our plan to go to college together?"

I stumbled slightly in my step and took a long gulp of hot chocolate as I wracked my brains for a good excuse. "Uh...well, I mean you heard what Renee said. She's going to spill the beans on our relationship and if that happens we kind of want to be as far away as possible. I know we planned to go to UW together, but I'm kind of hoping to get into NorthWestern."

I looked at her with a cautious expression, hoping that since we were in public she wouldn't blow her top. In the end the only thing she did was nod her head and mutter a quiet 'okay.'

"That's it?" I asked, still kind of waiting for something to happen. Alice simply shrugged, "Well, I mean if its best for you then you should go...and I was maybe thinking of taking a year off school anyway. You know, to become a walking cliche and travel around for a bit. Maybe back pack through Europe or something."

I frowned, wondering why it had all been so easy but decided to let it go. "I doubt you could back pack without your Christian Louboutins." She smirked at that, "Maybe back packing was a bit of a far fetched notion...but I think getting away for a bit will do me some good and who knows maybe by then my parents will have finally decided to stop dragging out their divorce."

I cringed at that part, "Your welcome to come over to my house anytime. You know that right?" She nodded absently and sighed before smiling again, "You know you should have gotten Edward a doctor's set. There's nothing that says romantic like a full body examination...if you know what I mean."

I turned red and slapped her shoulder as she doubled over laughing, making other shoppers look over at us like we were strange. I managed to drag her to a nearby bench and calm her down by threatening to pour my hot chocolate all over her.

"I'm sorry," she wheezed, "I was just imagining you and Edward roll playing." I raised an eyebrow at her, "And that is so incredibly funny, why?" I asked. She just grinned and shrugged, pretending to look innocent. "No reason." I let it go without much of a fight.

"So," I asked cautiously, "how's your plan going?" She looked at me with an expression half confused, half suspicious. "What plan?" I rolled my eyes, "You know, with Jasper." She stiffened at the sound of his name and shrugged before stealing my drink and taking a sip. "He's still with the bitch," she said with a hard voice. I looked at her curiously, wondering if there was something I was missing.

She sighed and shook her head, "I'm starting to think that he just isn't worth it anymore." She seemed to deflate as she spoke and I felt like a bitch for bringing him up.

"Hey," Alice said abruptly, startling me. "Is it me or has that women been following us around the mall?" I looked over to where she was staring at a woman with long brown hair and huge sunglasses who looked like she was window shopping.

"Who wears sunglasses in December?" I asked, suspicion creeping in. "Blind people." Alice pointed out and I shot her a look that told her I didn't appreciate her being a smart ass right now.

"Do you think it's her?" Alice asked and I chewed on my lip thoughtfully. I couldn't deny that their was an eire familiarity that tugged at me when I looked at her, but as they say 'denial is not a river in Egypt.'

"No idea, but let's not stick around to make sure." We picked up our bags and ducked into the crowd of people running to get presents before the stores closed. We drifted with the current of people until Alice yanked me into a store. We watched from behind a christmas display as the woman went pas all the while looking around. I now knew without a doubt that she had been looking for me.

I turned away from the window and looked around. Somehow Alice had managed to drag me into Victoria's Secret while I had been distracted. She was already flitting through the rows of lacy garments.

"What do you think of this Bella?" She asked, her face a picture of innocence. I gave her a look, "Alice, I am not buying anything." I told her. She rolled her eyes at me, "Oh come on. How often am I wrong? I promise you that as soon as you find yourself more sexy then you'll exude more confidence in the bedroom. Lingerie helps you do that. I'm not asking you to try on anything outlandish, but at least try this on...for me and for Edward."

She batted her eyelashes at me as she held up the scrap of light blue lace. I stared at her horrified, "There is no way I am trying on a thong." She folded her arms over her chest and tilted her head to the side as she looked at me condescendingly, "And why exactly is that?"

"Because they don't cover my ass and they look uncomfortable." I could practically feel my ass clenching at the thought of having something stuck between it. "Have you ever tried wearing one?" She asked. I shook my head and she looked triumphant.

"Just try it on then. It's not like I'm forcing you to buy them. Plus I'm sure that Edward would appreciate the view when you bend over in a skirt." I blushed and chewed on my lip thinking about how Edward had snaked his hands into my panties and palmed my ass the other day. His reaction to finding bare flesh did sound like an interesting experiment, but only if they were comfortable.

"Fine, I'll try them on." She looked smug and I wondered-not for the first time-how she always managed to get me to give into her demands. I think the fact that she always equated Edward into her manipulation helped somewhat.

I grabbed it from her hands and headed towards the changing rooms.

"Wait!" Alice called after me and she thrust a matching bra at me. "You can't have one without the other, it just wouldn't be complete." I rolled my eyes at her, sending a prayer if Alice ever had kids that they would be able to escape the insanity of clothes that Alice would most likely press down on them.

I slipped into the changing room and stripped out of my clothes before putting the underwear set on. I was reluctant to admit that the thong wasn't in the least bit uncomfortable.

"Are you coming out here to show me or what?" Alice called. I snorted, "What. That sounds about right."

"Oh stop being a baby, there isn't anyone around." I sighed and unlocked the door and peeked out before stepped out when I was certain that the coast was clear. Alice flitted over to me and straightened my back before leading me to a full length mirror.

I couldn't help but gape at the reflection in front of me. This bra must have been a push up because I actually had breasts which looked like they were spilling out of my bra and somewhere along the line I had grown curves because as I turned around slowly and looked at my ass, it didn't seem as flat as usual.

"Alice," I murmured, "you are a witch aren't you? There is no way I could look this good without some sort of voodoo spell thing. When did I get curves?" Alice let out a trilling laugh, "This is all you Bella. You were just too blind to see it. You should save it for Christmas Eve or something though. I can find you a nice pair of heels to go with it and you can wrap a bow around your neck and sit under tree."

Ideas started to run through my head and excitement flooded through me. "Maybe I should get it in a more festive color though. Like red or...oh green!" Alice nodded and pulled out her notebook and started scribbling stuff down.

"You should get a green and that blue one. Blue looks good against your skin. I'll buy the blue one for you. Think of it as an early Christmas present. You still have size forty-one feet right?" I nodded, not really listening to her as I continued to check myself out in the mirror. I had never really seen myself as ugly, but there had not been anything especially captivating about me.

I have always been a little self-deprecating towards myself, always thinking that I wasn't quite good enough, but I realize that maybe I was a little harsh on myself. They say that beauty is in the eye of the beholder and Edward never ceased to tell me how beautiful he found me and I guess that's what really mattered. I was sure that he saw me differently than how I saw myself, but perspective was everything in those kind of situations. The fact that he wanted me just the way I was spoke volumes and I didn't feel the need to change myself.

I was who I was and I think that now I was beginning to accept that who I was, was pretty damn good.

**AN: Who do you think was following her? And who is Alice's mystery boyfriend? Review!**


	23. Drama, Drama, Drama

**AN:OMG! I would like to say a huge THANK YOU! To all my reviewers for getting me past the one thousand mark. I never thought this day would come, so again thanks. Most of you guessed that it was either James or Jasper who was Alice's mystery guy... you'll find out this chapter. For those of you who were asking for some drama, I am sure this chapter will give you what you want. Thanks to dirtypillowtalk for being the wind beneath these rusted sails.**

Drama, Drama, Drama.

_Everything is going to be fine_, I told myself. _You've done this every year and nothing bad has ever happened, unless you count the time Mr. Newton grabbed my ass_. I grimaced, like father like son. I sighed and took one last look in the rearview mirror to make sure I looked presentable before Edward opened my door and held his hand out to me.

I smiled gratefully, since I had somehow let Alice dress me up for the annual Christmas Eve party and heels had been involved. I did notice Edward's eyes lingering on my legs as I stepped out and I raised an eyebrow at him, a small smile playing on my lips. He merely smirked at me and motioned for me to give him a little twirl.

I rolled my eyes at him, but did so anyway. I was wearing a low back, silk, forest green dress, which clung to me a little more than I would have liked. It stopped at my knees and Alice had been inclined to force my feet into three inch, gold heels. There had been a lot of bartering, but I had managed to get out of any or all after Christmas shopping...at least until January anyway.

I grabbed my black, trench coat off the back of my seat and slid it on and wrapped a scarf around my neck.

"You ready?" Edward asked and I hesitated before looking quickly and planting a chaste kiss on his lips. "I am now." He chuckled and shook his head at me before offering me his arm.

The party was being held at Dr. Peter McGullum's house. He was the chief of surgery and lived just on the outskirts of town in a big, white, Victorian mansion. His wife, Charlotte, insisted on having these parties every year and I was sure she was already preparing for her summer garden party. The Mcgullum's never did anything half way and by the fairy lights and festive ribbons littering the drive I knew this year wasn't any different.

Edward let go of me once we reached the door and I prepared myself for the rest of the night. Not being able to touch or be near Edward would be torture, but it was a necessary evil. I wasn't quite sure why we hadn't just announced our relationship yet, but I figured that when the time was right we would talk about it.

Before my thoughts could get any deeper on the matter, the front door burst open and Mrs. McGullum was there, all beaming and happy as the music and laughter floated outside.

"I thought you two would never arrive!" she exclaimed. "Come out from the cold, we can't have one of Fork's best doctors getting sick, especially around the holidays," I snickered as Edward blushed and hurried inside.

I had never quite gotten used to the beauty of the McGullum's home, with its marble floors and high ceilings. Mix in all the Christmas decorations and it was no wonder that this was the most coveted house in the area.

We walked down the hall, the sound of my heels echoing off the walls, until we came to the living room, which was full of people. It seemed that we had arrived a little bit late because everyone seemed to be already drunk and happy.

Edward squeezed my hand quickly before taking a small step away from me to put distance between us. My chest tightened slightly but I fixed a smile on my face anyway.

"I'll go get us some drinks," he murmured before disappearing through the crowd. I stood awkwardly, watching people talk and dance. I'm not sure for how long I had been stand there when the doors to the terrace flew open and Alice came running in, her hand clasped over her mouth as tears streamed down her face. She disappeared out of the room through a side door and I quickly made my way to follow her.

Cursing the person who invented heels, I followed her through the door and into another hall. By the time I got there the hall was empty, but just as I was about to turn back I saw a light under one of the doors.

I could hear sobbing and retching coming from the other side and I didn't hesitate to open the door and slip into the room, which I now found out was a bathroom. Alice sat curled up next to the toilet, her arms wrapped around herself as big, heaving sobs left her. She raked a hand through her hair and shook her head, not even registering my presence.

I immediately fell to my knees beside her and pulled her into my arms. "Shhh..." I murmured, rocking her back and forth as she muttered to herself. "Not good enough...just not good enough...I gave up everything for him...and he just ripped my heart out." It took awhile for her to calm down enough to be able to breathe properly and then she started talking softly.

"Am I unlovable?" she asked shakily and I pulled back to look at her. She tried to turn her face away but I cupped her face in my hands, forcing her to look at me. "There are a million different words I could use to describe you, but unlovable is not one of them. You bring so much life and energy to everyone who takes the time to get to know you. You are one of a kind and for what it's worth, I love you." I looked deep into her eyes as silent tears fell down her cheeks trying to convey the seriousness of my words.

"I'm pregnant Bella," she whispered. "I gave my whole life to a man who threw it back in my face. I've ruined myself because of my own stupid impulsiveness. I should have told you about him, you would have made me see sense." My brain was still stuck on the first part of her confession and I shook my head to clear my head.

"I'm sorry what?" I said as she burst into a fresh round of tears. "I'm pregnant, unlovable, and you're going to hate me." I ran a hand through my hair before trying to get Alice's attention. "Alice, I don't understand," I told her frustrated. She looked at me and started talking. "Its Jasper's. It started a few months ago. I got tired of waiting and just went for it like you did and we started seeing each other..."

"Wait, wait, wait..." I interrupted her, confusion still the main emotion going through me. "Are you telling me that you've been sleeping with Jasper for the last few months? That doesn't make any sense, he's with Maria..." I trailed off as everything started to fall into place. Guilt, anger, self righteousness, the reasons for why she had been pushing me away starts climbing higher. It must have been easier for her that way. Without me, the voice of reason, her own personal conscious, she was free to do whatever stupid and self destructive thing she wanted.

_..."So," I asked cautiously, "how's your plan going?" She looked at me with an expression half confused, half suspicious. "What plan?" I rolled my eyes, "You know, with Jasper." She stiffened at the sound of his name and shrugged before stealing my drink and taking a sip. "He's still with the bitch," she said with a hard voice. I looked at her curiously, wondering if there was something I was missing. She sighed and shook her head, "I'm starting to think that he just isn't worth it anymore._"...

Everything was crashing down around me and I wondered just what the fuck she had been thinking.

"Please tell me that you haven't been sleeping with Jasper while he was and still is dating another woman." She flinched at the hard tone my voice had taken, but honestly I couldn't help it. Alice had done many stupid, impulsive things, but this was by far the worst. I knew she expected me to stand by her with unwavering support, but right now all I wanted to do was slap her round the face to try and get her to see reason. She was pregnant with her History teacher's baby, who incidentally was dating another woman.

Anger started boiling inside me, but it wasn't aimed at Alice. No, this was directed at Jasper fucking Whitlock. I knew Alice should have known better than to enter into any sort of relationship with Jasper, but he was the adult here.

"What the fuck were either of you thinking?" I asked exasperated. "Did you really think that no one would find out? That one day someone wouldn't stumble upon the two of you and the game would be up? That is not how life works. There are consequences for your actions Alice and right now Karma is being a world class bitch."

"Don't you think I know that?" she hissed. "My whole life is disappearing right before my eyes. My parents are getting a divorce. I'm pregnant with a taken man's baby. My own mother won't even fucking look at me. She wants me out of the house after the New Year. She wants nothing to do with me so I better add homeless onto the list. You may think that I deserve everything that happened to me, but I just wanted someone to notice me, to actually give a fuck about me. I hated myself for pushing you away, but it was either him or you and I thought I loved him."

"So he was more important than over two years of friendship?" I asked. It hurt to know that a guy was more important than our friendship and I wanted her to know that.

"I didn't mean it like that...it's just with me and Jasper it was so intense and passionate...with him it was like nothing else in the world mattered. None of the bullshit weighed me down...I...it was just...you wouldn't understand." I raised an eyebrow at her and pursed my lips together to try and control myself. "What is that supposed to mean?" I asked tersely. She shrugged, "You and Edward are different. Your comfortable and easy. You gravitate around each other and anticipate each other's move..." She trailed off and I looked at her sadly.

"Alice, love is loving someone despite all their flaws, it's loving them because those flaws make them who they are. You may think that me and Edward aren't passionate but you have to understand that he is my friend first, my lover after. He's the person I tell everything to. I'm not afraid to voice my insecurities or my ideas, no matter how stupid they may seem. He listens to me and I in turn do the same. You may think that constant passion is good, but sooner or later the fire that brought you together will extinguish and you will have nothing to fall back on." I raked a hand through my hair before sighing.

"You think that Edward and I don't have a lot of passion or intensity, but we do. Sometimes when I look at him I can't look away. The whole world disappears and my breath shortens. I feel like I'm about to explode and every hair on my skin rises. It's scary how deep my feelings go for him. You have to understand that just because you can't see it; it doesn't mean it isn't there. It's always bubbling beneath the surface and as soon as we're alone it just bursts forth. I could be wearing a dirty, baggy t-shirt and gross sweats and he will still push me up against the wall, unzip himself, push my sweats and panties down around my ankles and fuck me against the nearest wall without even saying a word. He doesn't need to ask for my permission because he knows that my skin was craving the same his was just because he needed to be near me, in me, close to me."

She shook her, denial clearly written on her face.

"Alice," I said exasperated, "you can't base a relationship on sex and expect everything else to work out by itself-"

"Please stop," she begged, cutting me off. "Don't talk to me like you think I don't know a thing. I knew going in and I know now so please just...don't. I don't need it. I can't handle it right now. What I want is the girl who is my best friend to support me and to help me, so can you please just forget about all that and just lend me a hand?"

"If you knew this was going to happen when you entered whatever the fuck you were in with Jasper then you are stupider than I thought you were." I knew my words were harsh, but I was tired of this and it had only just begun. "I never said that I wouldn't help you, I just wanted you to open your eyes to the world around you."

She started sobbing again, "I need your help Bella...please?" she begged and I broke. She didn't need me to point out her obvious flaws; she needed me to support her. I wrapped my arms around her and sighed, "Oh Alice," I murmured. She cured up further in my arms and buried her head into my shoulder.

"Everything is going to be okay, all right?" I told her. "I will be there for you every step of the way."

After a few minutes we pulled away and stood up. Somehow Alice had managed to fit all her make up into her small clutch and she quickly started to reapply it.

"You should probably get back out there. Edward will be wondering where you disappeared to," she murmured quietly. I nodded hesitantly and she gave me a small smile. "I'll be fine Bella. It's just my damn hormones are all over the place. You go enjoy the rest of the party and I will call you tomorrow okay?" I gave her a quick hug and left with promises to call her the next day.

I let out a deep breath as I walked down the hall, wondering how the hell my life was turning into a bad episode of 90210.

I was so preoccupied with my thoughts that I didn't register that anyone else was in the hall until I crashed right into them. "What the-" The person muttered as I tried to regain my balance in the death traps that I call shoes.

"Miss Swan!" I looked to see none other than Jasper fucking Whitlock in front of me. The anger that had faded from before came back and I narrowed my eyes at him. His eyes shifted to and fro, but never quite caught my eye. "Have you happened to have seen Miss Brandon anywhere?" he asked politely. Fury replaced the anger and, without thinking, I raised my hand and slapped him around the face.

My fingers tingled and throbbing from the pain of connecting with his face so hard and he clutched his cheek, surprise written all over his face. I gripped his shoulders in my hands and kneed him in the balls, making curses fall from his lips as he fell to his knees.

"If I ever see or hear of you anywhere near Alice again I will give you more than a bruised cheek and knee in the balls. Stay the fuck away from her or I will personally report you to the school board. You are the lowest of the low. You are nothing but scum. You preyed on a vulnerable girl-your student no less-who was going through a hard time. I don't care who started it or how you two came together, all I know is that my best friend was bawling her eyes out over you, you inconsiderate bastard. Do yourself a favor and stay the hell out of my way because I will not hesitate to kick your ass to Tacoma and back."

With that I stepped around him and continued walking down the hall. As soon as I slipped back into the party my eyes sought out Edward's who was talking to some six foot Native American man. I slid over to where they were standing and stole the flute of champagne from Edward's hand. He raised an eyebrow disapprovingly and I smiled back at him as I took a long sip.

"Are you going to introduce me?" I asked, trying to keep the attention off me because I knew Edward could tell that something had happened. "Um...of course, Jake this is Bella. Bella this is Jake, he is the new intern at the hospital that I told you about." I nodded and held my hand, which Jake swamped easily with his own as he shook my hand vigorously.

"He talked about me?" he asked, excitement shining in his eyes and I could tell that Jake obviously looked up to Edward. "Continuously," I told him, not adding that fact that it had mostly been complaints. The kid was eager, you had to give him that, but he looked like he had just graduated high school let alone college. From what Edward told me, Jake had only just moved here to be closer to his father.

"So, are you two together?" he asked looking between Edward and me. I glanced up at him and he gave me a questioning look back. "Of course they are," slurred a voice loudly behind us. I noticed a few other people starting to notice and take interest in what was going on. A shiver went down my spine as I looked up at the woman who had made my childhood miserable.

Her long, black gown had a slit up to her thigh and her brown hair was twisted on top of her head.

"The little slut has been fucking him for months right under your noses." She downed the rest of her drink in one gulp and slammed it down on the table next to her. I could feel my face heating up in embarrassment and I was surprised when I felt Edward right next to me, his hand resting firmly on my hip.

"Don't fucking call her that," he spat at her. She rolled her eyes and snorted, "I can call my daughter whatever the hell I like." I could hear the whispers starting up and I pressed myself further into Edward. "She stopped being your daughter the day you started abusing her." Her lips pursed and she folded her arms across her chest. "At least I am not fucking a child," she said.

Edward's jaw clenched and he opened his mouth to speak, but I beat him to it.

"I am no more of a child than you are a mother. What I decide to do with my life and who I choose to spend it with is none of your business. Edward and I are in a consensual, adult relationship. I am eighteen and I capable to live my life without everyone breathing down my neck. If you have a problem with that, then you can go fuck yourself," I stated confidently. Anger flooded her face and she raised her hand to slap me. I didn't even filch because I was finally done with letting her have any sort of control over me. She meant nothing, was nothing, to me.

Edward caught her hand before it could reach its intended target. "Touch her and you answer to me. My mother taught me to be a gentleman but I will not hesitate to fuck up anyone who touches the woman I love." His eyes met mine and he smiled slightly. He dropped her wrist and addressed everyone in the room, "I am not ashamed and there is nothing you can do to stop me from loving her." With that he turned to me and cupped my face in his hands before crushing his mouth to mine.

I knew that everyone was watching and that by tomorrow a million and one rumors would have started, but all I could think about was Edward's lips on mine. Fuck everyone else and their prejudiced opinions, I could take it. We could emerge from this stronger and happier than before. Our foundation was strong and it would take a lot more than a town full of gossiping people to break it. He pulled back and I couldn't help but grin up at him.

"Love you," he murmured. "Ditto," I whispered back and he grabbed my hand and without a second look we walked out of the party.

**AN: Sorry it took so long, just finished playing in my first ever paid gig playing the bass-which I only relearned yesterday-for a Bat Mitzvah. I have contributed a Parental Guardian outtake to the Fandom fights Mental Illness so please donate to the cause. http:/findingyourvoice-ffmi(.)blogspot(.)com/ **

**I am also contributing a one shot to fandom for tsumani and an Edward Pov of the first part of First Time for the Fandom ****Against Sexual Abuse. I am also the judge of the Trying For A Baby contest. http:/www(.)fanfiction(.)net/u/2067697/Trying_For_A_Baby_Contest **

**Anywho... Come one, don't be stingy and give me your thoughts. Reviews make me update faster, it's a proven fact.**


	24. Happy New Year!

**AN: Sorry for not replying to any reviews. The site wouldn't let me. Thanks for the reviews anyway though. My beta is currently working on my Fandom for Sexual Assault Awareness so this is unbeta'd. Sorry for all the mistakes.**

Happy New Year

_No woman, no cry_  
_No woman, no cry_  
_Oh my Little sister, don't she'd no tears_  
_No woman, no cry_

I closed my eyes and basked in the warmth and quiet of the evening. It was New year's Eve and me and Edward were enjoying a relaxing bath. Edward lay between my legs, his head nestled between my breasts as he hummed, a cigarette hanging loosely from his lips. We had spent the better part of the week hiding out in the house with the curtains drawn and the phone unplugged.

Alice had called on Christmas morning, like she promised, and we made plans to meet up on New Year's Day at lunch time to talk and try and sort out everything. Exchanging presents had been a quiet affair until Edward had handed me an envelope with car keys in it.

After chewing him out for buying me what I knew would be a ridiculously expensive car I had reluctantly gone to the garage to see what he had bought me. The beast had only been dead for a few months and already he was being replaced.

I had talked about getting a new car, but we would be moving in less than six months and so I hadn't really put much effort into searching for one. I must admit though, that as soon as I saw it I fell in love with it.

I may have thrown myself over the hood and lay there in bliss for a few minutes before pointing my ire back at Edward. He had gotten me a black,1969 Chevrolet Camaro with two white racing stripes. One that looked like a revamped version of Bumblebee in Transformers.

He had made the excuse that he had known a guy, who knew a guy, who had a friend that had gotten him a good deal as it was second hand. Plus, when we moved he might get rid of the Volvo and so in actuality the car was for both of us. I didn't really buy his bullshit, but the slightly worn, brown leather interior won me over and I had proceeded to thank Edward rather profusely with a quick blowjob.

The water sloshed as Edward lifted his hand out of the water and took the cigarette out of his mouth, letting a long plume of smoke escape from his lips before offering it to me. I plucked it from his fingers and took a drag.

"Baby girl?" Edward questioned languidly. I hummed in response and ground the cigarette into the ashtray next to the bath. "What's up?" He sighed and pulled my legs so that they slid between his and tangled with them.

"I've been doing some thinking and...well with us moving when you go to college and everything...and in the interest of finally putting all my grief about my...our parents away, well I've... I'm thinking of selling the house." I sat frozen behind trying to catalogue what he was saying.

"This house?" I clarified, not quite comprehending what he was saying. "Yeah," he murmured nervously. It took me a minute for what was saying to sink in because honestly, this was the only home I had ever known and to think that he was thinking about selling just didn't compute. Edward had lived here since he was a baby and there was so many memories here, both good and bad.

"Why are you telling me this now?" I asked quietly and he sighed, raking a wet hand through his hair. "Because I won't sell it without your permission. Its been weighing down on me for a while and I think its one of the reasons that I haven't fully let go of my parents. All the constant reminders make me want to cling onto them."

I kind of understood where he was coming from because _all_ of his memories of his parents were in this house and I would never want to stay in a place that constantly reminded me of what I had lost.

"Okay," I murmured, resolved to support him, "If its what you think you need to do then we should sell it. You realize though, that I don't even know if I got into any of the colleges I applied to." He waved me off and I rolled my eyes at him. It was easy for him to have so much faith, but reality sometimes didn't match up to our dreams.

"I'm getting wrinkly," I muttered, unwinding my legs from his and stepping out of the bath. Edward let out a whine before stretching out fully in the bath. He pouted at me as I wrapped a towel around myself and I pulled my wet hair into a sloppy ponytail. "Don't look at me like that," I admonished him with a warning look, "I am not free porn you can look at any time you want."

He raised an eyebrow at me, his expression amused, "Don't worry baby girl, you're so much better than porn. If you like, I'll show you just how much better you are." He winked at me and I rolled my eyes at him. "Don't get cocky," I muttered as I exited the room.

"I thought you liked my cock," he called out after me.

I snickered as I entered his closet and flicked on the light. I threw on Edward's old, hooded Spartan's sweatshirt before heading over to my room to get some underwear and shorts to wear with some striped, knee length socks. I looked random and miss-matched, but I was comfortable and happy. I went back into Edward's room and poked my head into the bathroom where Edward still hadn't gotten out of the bath.

"I'm going to go check on my car," I told him and he lolled his head in my directed with a smirk on his face, "you realize that it would actually have to leave the garage for anything bad to happen to it, right?" I stuck my tongue out at him childishly before grabbing the keys off the dresser and making my way downstairs to the kitchen.

I unlocked the door leading to the garage and slipped in. I flicked the lights on and pulled the covering off the car, because lets be honest beauty like Felix-yes I named him-should not be hidden. I let out a sigh of contentment as I let my fingers drag along the hood, relishing the feel of cold metal under my fingertips.

I got into the driver's seat and arranged the chair so that it was in the perfect position. My hands moved over the wheel excitedly and I couldn't wait to take him out for a drive.

Maybe tomorrow when Alice came over...

I switched the radio on and relaxed back into the seat before closing my eyes to just feel the different sensations all around me. I wasn't sure for how long I sat there just enjoying the feel of the car before Edward knocked on the window, effectively snapping me out of it. He grinned down at me, his hair sticking up all over the place and falling in his eyes from where he had obviously towel dried it.

"Were you planning on sleeping in there?" he asked before going round to the other side and throwing a bag in the backseat. He slid into the passenger seat and I noticed that he was wearing a pair of long basketball shorts with a hoodie, but no shirt and a pair of converse.

"What are you wearing?" I asked and he raised an eyebrow at me. "This is coming from the girl who is swamped in my high school sweatshirt." He pointed out and I decided to let it go.

We sat in silence for awhile, listening to the radio before Edward spoke up.

"Let's go somewhere."

I looked at him like he was crazy. "Edward, its like eleven at night on New Year's Eve. Where would we go?" He shrugged, "We could just go for a drive. I'm sure you want to try the car out. We could go to cliffs out at La Push and watch the people down on the beach."

I contemplated what he had suggested for a second before nodding and turned the key in the ignition. The engine roared to life before settling into a purr. The headlights lit up the garage as the door started to open slowly and I flexed my hands excitedly around the wheel as my stomach jumped in anticipation.

I moved one of my hands to the stick and eased my foot down on the clutch as I moved into first gear. I was glad that the Beast had been a stick because it took some getting used to when you compared it to an automatic. I revved the engine a little before slowing exiting the garage and going down the drive. Edward used the remote control to shut the garage door behind us and I noticed some curtain twitching next door.

I smirked, not in the least bit bothered about the not so sneaky looks we were getting. They could look all they wanted, it wouldn't change a thing. Just thinking about how a few months ago it would have sent me back into the house with my tail between my legs made me glad that we had kept it quiet for as long as we had.

I had obviously needed to grow up before I could take responsibility for a relationship like ours. I revved the car a few more times before peeling out of the drive and onto the street.

I was barely at the end of the road before I slid into third gear. The streets were completely deserted as I sped down them as no one was out at this time. I now fully understood why men obsessed over cars and speed.

The adrenaline coarsing through me as I raced down the road to La Push was addictive. Edward always told me that I was a very focused driver because I had the ability to block out everything except the road and the car. The vibrations from the engine running hummed through me and I grinned in triumph.

I could admit that I was a good driver. I had aced all my driver's Ed classes with ease and was the first in my class to get a license. As long as I was in the driver's seat of the car I loved to speed. When someone else sped, it made me nervous because you couldn't tell how fast their reactions would be or if they were in complete control of the car.

It didn't take long to get to the turning for the cliff's and I was forced to slow down as I drove up the winding, dirt road. The view, once you reached the top of the cliffs, was astounding and I wondered why I hadn't been up hear recently. We sat quietly in the car after I turning the ignition off, content to sit in the dark as the radio carried on.

"It's nearly midnight," Edward finally commented after glancing at the watch I had given him for Christmas. I hummed in acknowledgement and he twisted in his seat and reached for the bag he had put in the backseat. He grabbed it and turned to me, "Let's sit on the hood so we can see down on the beach." He jumped out of the car before I could even protest; because frankly I wasn't dressed for being outside. I reluctantly exited the car, pulling the hood of the sweatshirt over my head before climbing between Edward's legs.

He pulled a blanket out of the mystery bag and wrapped it around us before grabbing two mugs and a flask.

I raised my eyebrows questioningly and he grinned self consciously and poured me some, "I made some hot apple cider. You know, just how mum used to make it. It might not be as good, but you'll be drunk by the time you notice." I laughed at that and took the mug from him, happy to have my hands wrapped around something warm.

My eyes flittered down to the beach where a huge bonfire was burning. It looked like the whole reservation had come to the beach tonight, as kids darted past their mother's to play soccer on the beach and people danced and sang along with the men playing instruments. I briefly wondered if Jacob would be there tonight, since his father lived there, and whether a relationship like the one me and Edward shared was frowned upon even in their community.

The Quillettes had always been a tight-knit community and it was nice to watch how they acted like one big family. I could see some of the men readying the fireworks further down the beach and I smiled as I watched them mess about with them.

It wasn't long before the sky was alight with color and everyone was screaming and cheering as the clock struck midnight. I gripped Edward's hair in my hands as our lips moved against each other sloppily and I couldn't help but giggle. It seemed that Edward's apple cider was a lot stronger than the one Esme used to make and while I wouldn't say I was drunk, I would say that I was a little tipsy. I sat up on my knees between his legs, not caring that the blanket had fallen onto the ground because I felt warm and fuzzy.

He wrapped his arms around my waist and fell back against the windshield, causing our foreheads to bump. We snickered into each other's mouths not willing to part them for something so insignificant as a sore forehead.

"Happy New Year, baby girl," Edward murmured when we finally tore our lips apart. "Hmmm, what a Happy New Year it is," I murmured back as my fingers pulled down the zipper of his jacket and pushed puff his shoulders. My lips attached themselves to his neck as he slid his hands up his sweatshirt that I was wearing. He groaned as he palmed my bare breasts, most likely having expected me to wear a bra, and nudged me so I raised my arms above my head long enough for him to pull off the sweatshirt and throw it onto the ground.

We paused, our eyes boring into each other as each breath we panted formed little clouds in the air. A harsh wind whipped past us and I shivered as my nipples hardened.

"I think we should take this to the backseat," Edward finally whispered and I nodded in agreement before sliding down the hood of the car. I snatched my sweatshirt up off the ground and started to climb into the backseat when Edward grabbed my arm. I looked over my shoulder to see what was wrong, but he merely push so that I was lying on my back and climbed on top of me.

I giggled as he ran his hands up and down my sides and tickled my neck with his scruff. He pushed his hips into mine, his cock hard and throbbing through the thin material of his shorts. I tired to reciprocate the action and ending smacking my head against the side of the car. "Ow," I grumbled as Edward chuckled and pulled me up so that I was straddling his lap.

"Better?" he asked and I nodded before grasping his face in my hands and shoving my tongue down his throat. He groaned and cupped my ass in his hands, pressing me forwards into his lap so that I was effectively dry humping him. "Urgh, that's it baby. Rub that sweet pussy against my cock," he grunted as one of his hands slid up to palm my right breast roughly.

"Have I ever told you just how fucking awesome your tits are?" he muttered as he pushed my upper half backwards slightly, shifting the angle of my hips, as his lips wrapped around the nipple of the breast that wasn't in his hand. I gasped at his words and squirmed in his lap as he slid his hand into the back of my shorts, effectively groping the flesh of my ass.

His mouth shifted to the neglected breast as he pushed his free hand down the front of my panties and rubbed the slippery skin of my folds. I could feel my breaths coming out in heavier pants and I let out a strained whimper as I pressed my hips more firmly in his hand.

He groaned in want and pulled his hand out of my panties. I opened my mouth to protest but he was already lifting his hips up and pulling down his shorts hastily to reveal his arousal. It slapped against his stomach as he pulled a condom from out of nowhere-how he managed to do that I still don't know. He pinched the tip and rolled it on easily before turning his dark eyes on me.

"You ready?" he asked lowly and I slipped off his lap and awkwardly yanked my shorts and panties off so that they fell around my ankles. It wasn't easy to kick them off, but I managed to do it before straddling his thighs again, wearing nothing but my knee high socks.

"Ready," I affirmed. He pulled me closer into him and positioned himself at my entrance. "I hope I always get to feel your sweet pussy dripping all over me," he grunted out before sliding into me.

I let my head fall back and my lips parted as I placed my hands on his shoulders and slowly started to move over him. His lips attached themselves to my neck, sucking, licking, and biting causing every inch of skin flushed with heat and want. "Oh god Edward," I moaned out, pulling him closer so that our chests were pressed flush against each other. My nipples scraped against his chest with each thrust and I could feel sweat starting to build on my brow.

One of Edward's hands that had been resting on my hip snaked up my back, trailing along my spine until his fingers threaded themselves into my hair. I groaned as he pulled my hair, causing my head to fall back further and arched into him, my fingers attacking his hair and digging into his scalp. He bowed his head down, as I rested my elbows on his shoulders, and sucked as much of my breast as he could into his mouth.

He let out a moan, which sent vibrations through my body, and pulled my hair back harshly sending little sparks of pleasure through my body. My toes curled as I let out a gasp and I ground myself down harder on top of him. The heat inside of the car felt stifling as we continued moving quickly, the sweat making our movements more fluid and swift.

My eyelids fluttered shut and I just basked in the atmosphere around me. The way the heat swirled and stung my skin. How the only sounds that could be heard was our harsh breathing and the slick wetness between my legs.

God, had I known that it was possible to feel like this, so overwhelmed with love and want, I would have seduced him long before I had. Just thinking of never being able to feel him inside me again-stretching me, throbbing in me, giving me more pleasure than I could comprehend-killed me. He was everything to me and I was willing enough to admit that he had always been that to me.

Knowing that I would never have to settle for anything less than what I had now made a smile curve on my lips. Sure, I didn't know the future and I couldn't one hundred percent guarantee that what me and Edward had would last forever, but even if we decided to go our separate ways I had a feeling that it wouldn't be the end of _us_.

I knew that it was a weird thought to think but the brother/sister part of our relationship wouldn't just evaporate. It could take time but the fun, easy going relationship would eventually resurface. It was like Carlisle used to always say, 'Nothing is too big to forgive, some things just take a lot longer than others.'

"Bella," Edward gasped out as his thrusts sped up singling that he was close. I shook my head to rid myself of my thoughts and reached a hand between my legs and rubbed my clit. I could still remember how at the beginning I had been hesitant to touch myself when he was inside me, too embarrassed and shy to do it. But Edward thrived on feeling me squeezing him tightly as I came apart in his arms. He said it made him feel like more of man if he felt he had made me come.

So I had sucked it up and with some instruction from him I had learnt how to touch myself properly. It wasn't to say that I had never masturbated or anything, but I had never really explored my pussy, it was more of an in and out job-no pun intended-where I got off nice and quick in the shower.

I knew now that knowing your own body was as important-if not more-as knowing Edward's. According to Edward it was basic psychology. You can't know some else if you don't know yourself. You have to find what makes you tick, what makes you who you are, before you should even bother to attempt to do that to someone else.

Knowing yourself and your limits made you more confident in pushing yourself out of your comfort zone. You couldn't-shouldn't-be afraid to ask for something from your partner because the basis of any relationship was communication. You can't feel the most exhilarating pleasure if you're too afraid to ask for it.

It took Edward some time to get me out of my shell, mainly by giving me gentle nudges in the right direction. He told me that any qualms _he_ had about asking me for things was based on the fact that he had kept that part of him bottled up and-Im quoting this-'you couldn't just pour out the contents in one go as it would make a mess, you had to do it gradually, making sure you took your time.'

"Shit shit shit fuck, yes!" he hissed out as his orgasm took over him. I continued to rub myself frantically, thankful that he hadn't stopped thrusting up into me, knowing that I was close to edge.

"Come on Baby girl," he urged panting, "come for me. I want to feel that tight pussy of yours squeezing me. Can you do that for me?" I nodded vigorously and Edward angled my head so that I could meet his lips.

It was sloppy and lust filled with smashing teeth and wet tongues, but fuck if I wanted it any other way.

"Yes," I groaned quietly in his mouth as I tightened around him. My body shuddered and I flexed my toes as I fell over the edge. I buried my head into his shoulder as I relaxed into him. He stroked my hair soothingly before shifting so that he was lying down with his knees bent so that he could fit comfortably. I slipped out of him and helped him discard of the condom by opening the door and throwing it outside.

I lay splayed out on his chest with my legs on either side of his. We covered ourselves with the blanket we had used earlier and lay there, just relaxing into each other.

"I think I want a tattoo," I yawned tiredly as Edward's hands stroked my hair soothingly. He hummed in acknowledgement. "What would you get?" I shrugged, too tired to really think. "Something meaningful."

My eyes fluttered shut and I curled further into Edward's arms. "Sleep," he murmured as he pressed a kiss to my forehead. I hummed in agreement, "Love ya," I slurred sleepily. His chest rumbled as he chuckled, "Love you too."

**AN: Review! We have more drama next chapter. Not everything is as it seems. In other news I have FINALLY got my blog up and running! So if you want teasers for this story (and other details and pics for the story) and to see what fics I am currently writing for different fandoms then please check it out. Its Welcome2myworldxoxo(dot)blogspot(dot)com. Link also my profile as my homepage.**

**I have entered a one shot for the fandom for tsunami so go donate!**


	25. Lies and Repentance

**AN: I've been saving a particular bomb for an awhile and have just dropped it in his chapter. It took forever to figure how to actually start it though. These two are about to have their first recorded argument. *Sniff* they grow up just too quickly. Edward better be weary of Bella in this chapter. I would also like to add that it seems that the last chapter left you with fears that Edward and Bella will break up. That is not the case. I am an HEA girl all the way and I don't do unnecessary angst. It was just an errant thought and I don't have plans to break these two up. That being said, thank you all for taking the time to review! This chapter isn't beta'd so...yeah the mistakes are all mine.**

Lies and Repentance 

I slammed the door closed behind me as I stomped into the house. I headed straight for the kitchen where I found Edward sitting at the counter, a bag of peas clutched to his head, his tie loose, and his face weary.

"Would you like to know where I just spent two fucking hours?" I asked calmly. He opened his mouth to respond but I just held up my hand, silently telling him that it was a rhetorical question.

"Detention. That is where I was because the fucking guidance counsellor hit on me so I called him...and I'm quoting this a 'disgusting, pedophiliac asshole.' He didn't like that. But you would you like to know what else he told me and don't you dare even think about talking right now," I spat. He seemed to shrink slightly under my glare, something I noted smugly.

"He told me that the legal age for sex in Washington was sixteen. Now tell me Edward, as a doctor, you should know something like that, shouldn't you?" He closed his eyes and let out a groan as he tilted his head up so that he was looking at the ceiling.

"Can we not do this right now? I've had a stressful day and I really don't think I can handle this right now," he said tiredly and I scoffed at him. "Oh poor Edward. Do you think my day has been a fucking walk in the park because I have news for you buddy, it was the exact opposite. And to find out that you lied to me on top of it all just made it that much better."

He sighed and looked at me, "Bella, when I said that our first time was illegal-which to be truthful it wasn't-I was grasping at straws. I was trying to find a way to get myself out of the situation as quick as possible and that seemed like the best way to do it-"

"So lying to me, making me feel guilty, was better than actually facing what you had done?" I asked, interrupting him. His brow creased in annoyance and he crossed his arms over his chest. "That isn't what I said, you're twisting my words. Yes, I admit it was a cowards way out and I should have corrected you on the subject, but it wasn't like once I accepted my feelings for you I was really thinking about that."

"So it just slipped your mind? The fact that I was naive enough to listen to a word that was coming out of your mouth that morning is just...god, I am so stupid! I was all concerned about how you were feeling while you were just trying to cover your own ass."

He stood and I could tell he was getting defensive. "It wasn't like that and don't you fucking dare pin this all on me. You stuck me in a corner where I was forced to come to terms with everything. Yeah, I could have handled it better and I am sorry for lying to you, but you don't understand what it was like for me. The whole situation was one, big clusterfuck. I felt like my every move was under scrutiny and I couldn't cope with it. So I tried to find an easy out. If the roles were reversed I am sure you would have done the same."

"Don't you dare tell me what I would or would not do. How did you just forget the fact that you lied to me? It is kind of important don't you think? How am I meant to know if you haven't lied about other things?"

"I swear to you that is the only thing I lied about. I don't know what else you want me to say. I said I was sorry." His eyes were blazing and I knew that we were both on the edge. Somewhere in the middle of our argument we had ended up really close to each other. So close that I could feel his heavy breathing against my face.

"Maybe sorry isn't good enough," I whispered and turned away from him. Now that the anger had simmered down slightly, I could feel the hurt and vulnerability seeping in. I could feel him following me as I walked out of the kitchen and into the living room, but I studiously ignored him.

He gripped my shoulder and turned me back to face him. "Tell me how I can make this better and I will, but don't shut me out," he pleaded, which only made me even more pissed off, because frankly all I wanted was some space and he really wasn't giving me any.

My barriers sprang up and I narrowed my eyes at him. He had no right to tell me what to do, especially right now. "Go fuck yourself," I hissed. His eyes darkened and his jaw tightened as we fell off the edge we had been sitting on precariously.

He slammed me against the nearest wall before crushing his lips to mine. I placed my hands on his shoulders and shoved him away from me before stalking towards him. I grabbed him by his tie and yanked his head down so that our eyes were level. "You are not in control of me, you don't tell me what I can and cannot do and you most definitely do not lie to me...ever. Do you understand me?"

He nodded, his chest heaving up and down with each breath he took.

I buried my hands in his hair and forced his lips back against mine as I continued moving backwards until his knees hit the arm of the couch. I pulled back slightly and pressed my hands to his shoulders before shoving him backwards so that he landed on the couch with a huff.

I wasted no time in climbing on top of him, a leg on each side of his hip, pinning him to the couch.

"I think its time I showed you just who is in control here," I told him as I pulled his tie off and threw it behind me.

He leaned up on his elbows and watched me hungrily as my fingers nimbly unbuttoned his once crisp, white shirt. Once I had finished I splayed my hands out on his chest and ran them up it, parting his shirt so that it fell on either side of him. I was thankful for the fact that Edward hated wearing undershirts because I loved the easy access to his chest.

He groaned as I dragged my nails down his stomach and I forced his head to the side as my lips attacked the skin of his neck. The muscles of his stomach clenched under my fingers and I bit down on his neck before laving my tongue over it, causing him to arch into me.

I dragged my lips up to his ear and sucked on his lobe. "Do you like that?" I whispered quietly, "Do you like it when I take control?" He let out a moan and buckled his hips, showing me the physical evidence of how much he was enjoying what I was doing.

I smirked, pleased that I had already managed to reduce him to a panting, moaning mess. My lips, tongue and teeth hunted down his body, pausing on certain spots to give them extra attention. I could already see red spots forming on his chest where I had marked him and I was secretly thrilled that he would have them for a least a few days.

Each movement I made was slow and deliberate as my unbuckled his belt and pulled his slacks down his legs. I stood up to help get rid of them properly before unbuttoning the yellow, plaid shirt that I was wearing. I shrugged out of it and pulled of the white tank top that was underneath it.

His eyes drank me in hungrily as I toed off my already loosened chucks and turned around so that my back was facing him. I considered the idea of just leaving him there, aroused and almost naked, but decided that teasing him to the edge and back would work better.

I looked over my shoulder and threw him a wink as I placed my hands on the waistband of my black jeans and pulled them down, making sure to bend over as I did so. Edward let out a strangled groan and I couldn't help the small giggle that escaped me as I silently thanked Alice for suggesting that I wear one my new thongs today.

I pulled my socks off before turning back to him. He started to sit up as I unclasped my bra and let it slide down my arms but I wasn't having any of it. I climbed back onto of him and pushed him back down. "Don't think you're going anywhere," I told him as my lips curled up into a smirk, "tonight you are my toy."

If it were even possible, his eyes darkened further and the rise and fall of his chest quickened. "By all means," he murmured huskily, his eyes darting down to my bare breasts and his tongue flicked out and ran along his bottom lip. "Have your wicked way with me."

I suppressed a moan, wondering how he could effect me so strongly even when he was lying underneath me offering me all the control. I placed my hands on either side of his head and leaned down, ghosting my lips along his jaw until I reached his lips.

The kiss we shared was deep, hard and sensual. My tongue dominated his mouth, running over his teeth and twisting with his own tongue. His hands snaked up to rest on my hips and I arched further into him, letting my nipples scrape along his chest.

My fingers wound and tangled into his hair as I sucked his bottom lip into my mouth. He groaned loudly into my mouth and pressed his hips up, silently begging for attention. I slid down his body so that I was sat on his thighs and pulled his weeping cock out of his boxers.

His hands, now empty, clenched tightly into fists as I squeezed him tightly in my hands and started pumping him at a slow, torturous pace. He let his head fall back, a groan escaping his lips.

"_Please_ Bella," he begged, "I need...god just..."

He looked back up at me in frustration as I gazed back at him innocently. "What do you need baby?" I coaxed, not quickening the pace of my hands.

"Faster," he panted and I tilted my head to the side and raised an eyebrow at him.

"Really? Because last time I checked-and correct me if I'm wrong-_I_ was the one in control. Sooo...I don't _have_ to do squat."

He leaned up on his elbows as he raked a hand through his hair, "Shit."

I slid down his thighs a little more and bent down to suck one of his balls into my mouth. He buckled up into me as I switched to the other balls, rolling it around on my tongue. All the while never quickening the pace of my hands.

"Bella," Edward's voice came out as a breathless whine, "you're killing me here."

I pulled back and pouted at him, "We wouldn't want that, now would we?" He shook his head and glanced down to where all movements had ceased on him.

I didn't need to touch him to know that he was throbbing and needing a lot more than I was giving him. I stood up and hooked my fingers into the waistband of my thong and let it fall to the ground, revealing my wet pussy.

"Do you want me?" I asked coyly and he raised his eyebrows, looking almost incredulous.

"Always," he said, like it was promise. I was back on top of him before he could even blink, my lips seeking his and my pussy rubbing along his cock, dripping onto him and nudging the head against my clit.

"Do you want to come?" I asked breathlessly after a few minutes, wondering when teasing him ended up with me teasing myself.

"You have no fucking idea how much," he hissed and I decided to put him out of his misery by sliding down on him in one swift move. His eyes widened before he threw his head back with a growl. His hips arched up sharply, forcing him deeper inside me as he slammed his hand down on the couch and fisted the material in a weak attempt to control himself.

His growl faded into a low, keening noise, almost like a whimper as his jaw flexed, clenching and unclenching rapidly. I watched him, slightly fascinated, as he breathed heavily through his nose as hair, now wet with sweat, darkened and stuck to his forehead. Just watching the way his swollen lips parted and his pale chest glistened was enough to make me clench around him.

I placed my hands on wither side of his head and nuzzled his neck. "You ready for me?" I whispered and he let out a noise, which was between a hysterical giggle and a grunt.

"A little late to be asking, isn't it?" I shrugged; pretending like none of this affected me in the least.

"Better late than never."

He snorted weakly and I raised myself up, pulling myself off him as I turned around and sunk back down on him.

I felt him sit up behind me, pressing his front into my back, and pushing my hair over my shoulder so that he had access to my neck. His hot breath fanned out along my shoulder as I moved over him, our bodies pushing and pulling against each other. His hands lay dormant on my hips, letting me control this, but using my body to ground him.

"I'm not going to last long," he warned quietly as he trailed light kisses up to my neck. I whimpered and let my head rest back against his shoulder.

"Touch me," I begged instead of ordered. He dragged his hands up my skin, allowing his nails to scrape along my skin as he did so, before palming my breasts roughly.

He widened his legs, causing one of them to fall off the couch and be placed firmly on the ground as he sat up higher. Now that he had more balance, his thrusts held more power and force and I couldn't help the noises that escaped my lips because of it. I was sure braying donkeys sounded nicer than what was coming out of my mouth, but the way his cock was hitting me was beyond anything imaginable.

He relocated one of his hands to my clit and pinched it hard, making me shudder and moan on top of him as my orgasm took over. My muscles clenched tightly around him as he stilled beneath me, letting out a strangled groan as his own release took over.

I leaned my back into his chest as I came down from my high and he lay back on the couch. He pulled the throw off the back of the couch and wrapped it around us. "I'm sorry for lying to you and I promise not to do it again. Are we good now?" he murmured as he nuzzled his face in my hair.

I sighed and burrowed further into his warmth. "We were never bad. It happened and I've forgiven you. So let's just move on," I said simply. He kissed the side of my head in silent thanks and rolled onto his side, taking me with him.

Sadly, the gentle coming down of my high was ruined when my eyes met with Mr. Jack's beady ones as he started yapping. Alice had moved into our house after New Years and I had dropped her off at her place to pick up the past of her things today.

I blushed, wondering for how long she had been back and if she had seen anything.

"Alice!" I shouted and she burst into the room a second later. "Shit, sorry," she muttered averting her eyes at our uncovered state and quickly picked up satan's spawn. "Don't let me disturb you...or whatever. I'll be upstairs listening to loud music...so carry on."

She dashed back out the room and I could hear her feet going quickly up the stairs and into my room, which she had turned into her very own closet. I didn't mind too much since I didn't really use it anymore, but I had tripped over at least three times trying and get to the closet for my clothes this morning.

"Edward, can I move my stuff into your room? Alice has turned my room into her personal closet." He snorted like he was unsurprised by this and ran a hand through my hair. "You might as well. I think I can clear out a corner for you."

"I'm going to need a bit more than a corner," I informed him.

He sighed dramatically, "You know, for a girl who says she hates shopping, you sure have a lot of clothes."

"Hey," I said indignantly, "I have a Shopaholic for a best friend, do the math." He laughed at that and I couldn't help but join in, leaving the stress and frustration of the day behind me. The stares and the whispers that I had suffered through evaporated from my mind and I decided that I could deal with it for the time being.

Only six months to go.

**AN: There we have it! What did you think? How many of you guys knew that the law was sixteen not eighteen? Lol, I've been waiting too long to drop that bomb. Have all of you guys watched the new Breaking Dawn trailer? Its epic! I'm sorry that my updating has been a bit all over the place due to all the fandoms I've been writing for, but I should start getting back on a schedule soon... As much of a schedule a disorganized person can have. The next two chapters are written so I should post them up quickly. Review!**

**I have an Edward pov of the first part of First Time for the Fandom for sexual assault awareness so don't forget to donate!**


	26. Wisdom and Venting

**AN:Hey! Thanks for all the great reviews guys, they made my week. I have a new banner for this story, you can find it on my blog. *Hint* its awesome. This chapter we have some Alice and Bella interaction and it seems that a visitor drops by. *Snickers evilly* Read on!**

Wisdom and Venting

I woke up and rolled over, my body automatically searching for Edward's to curl up against. I frowned when I came up with empty, cool sheets. I opened my eyes, blinking rapidly to get used to change in light and glanced at the clock.

The digital flashing numbers told me that while it was still early. Edward should have been back by now. He had been working the graveyard shift recently and I was glad that I had Alice around otherwise I would have been bored to death. I hated not being able to go to bed with him, to feel him all wrapped around me, but not having him here when I woke up was worse.

I slipped out of bed, wearing overly expensive, pink, Juicy Couture pyjama bottoms and a black tank top with the words 'I feel a Sin coming on' scrawled across the front. My feet burrowed themselves into my worn piggy slippers and I padded downstairs to see where Edward was.

I became more worried as I searched the rooms and came up with nothing. It was only when I checked his office a second time I saw him sitting on the black couch in the corner of the room. His head in his hands and paper strewn everywhere around him. His tie was loosened and his shirt buttons were half undone.

I moved cautiously towards him. "Baby?" I called tentatively.

His head shot up and he started shuffling the papers around. "I'm good. Just thinking," he muttered, but I could see the pure exhaustion in his eyes and the purple bags hanging underneath them. Working from six in the evening till six in the morning and then staying up to do paper work obviously hadn't been his brightest idea.

"Baby, you should be in bed," I abolished gently.

He sighed and dry washed his face. "Sorry, I must have lost track of the time."

I sat on the arm of the couch and ran a hand through his head as he slumped back. "You want to talk about it?" I asked, knowing that there was something else bothering him.

"How could I ever been satisfied with staying here for the rest of my life?" he asked quietly.

"It's so fucking stifling. I feel like I can't breathe. Everyone is constantly breathing down my neck, telling me what a despicable human being I am and fuck, if I don't just want to hit something." His jaw clenched tightly and he continued, "Where exactly do they get off telling me how wrong my choices and my life is? You know Mrs. Weber had an abortion last year when she told everyone she had a bug? The Pastors _wife_ had an abortion and I'm the fuck up?"

The words spewed venomously from his mouth and I let him vent, just humming in the right places and running my hands through his hair.

"I never thought that I would say this but I am really looking forwards to leaving this town behind. I only wish that we could bring Carlisle and Esme too. Why have I been so blind, Bella? Why did it take an eighteen year old girl for me to realize just how menial my life was?" He leaned forwards, resting his elbows on his knees and started dry washing his face again.

It saddened me to see him so stressed out over how everyone was reacting to us and I hated that, for the most part, he had hidden it from me.

"Baby," I said quietly, "why don't we go to bed? We can talk about this when you've had a decent amount of sleep."

He nodded absently and let me guide him out of his office and upstairs to our bedroom. He sat on the edge of the bed and I pulled off his tie and unbuttoned his shirt for him before unbuckling his belt. He lifted up his hips so that I could take them off and pulled them off along with his socks.

He could barely keep his eyes open at this point and I pulled back the covers and tucked him in. I kicked off my slippers and joined him by getting in the other side. He pulled me to his chest and buried his head in my neck. "Thanks," he muttered, already drifting off to sleep. I smiled softly to myself before going back to sleep myself.

It was a few hours later when I woke up with Edward's arms wrapped tightly around me. I smiled; this was how I liked to wake up. I slipped out of his arms and grabbed my slippers before sneaking quietly out of the room, not wanting to wake him up. I could hear clattering in the kitchen and knew that Alice was up. I headed downstairs to find her with a mixing bowl and a very determined look on her face.

She was wearing a baggy, black sweater with the words 'Royal Pain' on the front with a pair of black leggings, which she had managed to get flour on.

"Would you like some help?" I asked, pulling my hair up into a sloppy bun. She looked up, startled, before her expression turned into one of relief.

"Bella! Thank the good Lord you're up. My stupid pancake mix is not working." She pouted and I rolled my eyes before heading over to see what had gone wrong. While it seemed she had gotten the ingredients right, it was all lumpy and gross.

"You're going to have to whisk this," I informed her. She looked kind of blank when I said that and I let out a long breath, wondering if she had even used the scales to weigh everything. "Why don't you set up the breakfast bar and I'll save this monstrosity?" I told her. She brightened up at that and it wasn't long before we were working together to get breakfast ready.

"So..." I started hesitantly, "Have you talked to Jasper?" She made a scoffing noise and wrinkled her nose.

_I'm going to take that as a no_, I thought wryly.

She tucked a few stray hairs behind her ear. "No, he keeps calling and texting me, but to be honest I don't want to talk to him. He said enough at the Christmas Party for me to know that he doesn't want to be involved with this baby and as far as I'm concerned, he can go running back to Maria. I don't want my baby turning into an asshole." She said it firmly, leaving no room for argument. I nodded, knowing that she was trying to do what was best for her baby, but wondering how long her resolve would last for.

She could be as stubborn as a mule but once you figured out the right angle to trip her up, she crumbled like a flaky wafer.

"How did you and Jasper get together anyway?" I asked curiously. I had been dying to ask her this question for a while but she had been sulking a lot since Christmas and I didn't have the heart to make her mood worse.

She paused for a second, "Well...I sort of seduced him. I just got tired of waiting around and we were the only people in the library after school. One thing led to another and I ended up giving him a blowjob and my number." She looked thoughtful for a second before letting out a humourless chuckle.

"I was so blinded by what I wanted to see. I thought I was in love with him when really I was in love with the man I had created in my head. I even let him take my virginity in the back of his car. Can you believe that? Me, Mary Alice Brandon, let a guy take her virginity in the back of a car. In my defence, his car is pretty nice."

I was shocked and angry at Jasper for being so callous with Alice and treating her like she didn't matter. I didn't understand how she could talk about it so calmly and I told her so.

"How can you be so nonchalant about this?" I demanded.

She sighed, "Bella, I don't have time to linger on my regrets and all my stupid mistakes. Yes, they happened and there is nothing I can do to take them back but I'm moving forwards knowing that I learned a valuable lesson. I can grow from my mistakes and I'm having a baby. The thought of it used to completely freak me out, but you know what? The idea is kind of growing on me and I'm kind of looking forward to becoming a mother. You and Edward will help me out, right?"

I nodded decisively, "For as long as we are here, we will be by your side."

We spent the rest of the morning and early afternoon pigging out, talking and watching movies. It was like old times again and it was great.

It was sometime around three when Edward stumbled down the stairs, half asleep still.

"Afternoon Edward," we chorused. He was in his boxers and looked confused as he dragged a hand through his hair. "Coffee," he muttered and disappeared into the kitchen. He appeared back an hour later, freshly showered and looking alive. He was wearing jeans and a green, football jersey as he pulled on his sneakers.

"Where are you going?" I asked.

"We're out of milk," he responded and I frowned, knowing that there had been quite a bit of it when I had last checked.

Alice looked kind of sheepish, "Sorry about that. Making pancakes really isn't easy. The one you rescued was the third batch."

I rolled my eyes, "You're going to have to buy more than just milk by the sounds of it," I said wryly.

He nodded and came over for a quick kiss. Alice pretended to gag as I threaded my hands through his hair to make it last just a bit longer so I did the mature thing and gave her the finger.

He headed out the door and I settled back under the blankets Alice and me had unearthed from the laundry room as we started a new movie.

"Bella, at the Christmas Party you said that Edward is like your best friend and you told him everything."

I raised an eyebrow wondering where she was going with this.

She looked slightly uncomfortable as she spoke, "I was just wondering how that worked. I mean, if you had some sort of growth in your cooter, would you tell him that?"

I let out a snort, "If I had a growth down there, it would have been his fault in the first place. I can see what you're trying to say but Alice, communication should be the basis of every relationship. Without it, everything becomes stilted and uneven. I have no reason to hide anything from him. Maybe I'm comfortable doing that because I've known him for years and the fact that he's a doctor helps, but we wouldn't work without communication. Yes, sometimes I wish he would tell me things quicker than he does and that he wouldn't feel the need to constantly protect me, but that's just how he is and I have to accept that neither I or him are perfect."

Alice let out a low whistle, "Thank you for that insight. You sure you don't want to be a therapist instead of a writer?"

I pulled a face, "You know I hate therapists. Plus I have enough problems of my own without having to listen to others on top of it." I turned my attention back to the movie, as it seemed our conversation was over.

Have you ever watched a perfectly innocent movie - if you didn't count the subtle UST - only to have your parent - or in my case boyfriend - walk in just as things get...raunchy? Because just as the main female character was pushed against a bookcase, her dress hiked up around her waist, getting fucked by the male lead, Edward came back.

He leaned in the doorway, his eyebrows raised and a slight smirk playing on his lips.

"So this is what you girls do when I'm not around," he said teasingly. A traitorous blush darkened my cheeks and I scoffed at him. He chuckled, "No seriously. Girls are always disgusted by the fact that guys watch porn, yet you guys have your raunchy books and movies."

"Ah," Alice interrupted, "but our books and movies leave something to the imagination, guys want too much visual." Thankfully, before their argument could escalate-which I guarantee it would have-there was a knock on the door.

"I'll get it," Edward called, already disappearing down the hall.

I frowned, knowing that we weren't expecting anyone today and leaned forwards, keeping a sharp ear for voices.

"Hey, is Alice here?" My eyes widened and I shared a look with Alice as I recognized Jasper's voice. We scrambled up knowing that any conversation between Jasper and Edward would not be pretty.

We managed to get to the door just as Edward's fist flew into Jasper's face, causing him to stumble back. "Holy Fuck!" Jasper screeched, holding his nose as blood dripped down his shirt and onto his jeans. I cringed at the sight and Alice darted forwards.

"Jazzy, are you okay?" she asked, concerned. Jazzy? All the nicknames in the world and she picks Jazzy.

I could see Edward moving forwards to get in another hit, but I grabbed his arm and tried to tug him backwards. He looked at me, his eyes blazing and his jaw clenched as he clenched his bloodied fist tightly.

I shook my head at him. While I had taken a slight bit of satisfaction at watching Jasper get hit, I knew Alice and Jasper should talk.

"Come on Rocky, let's get that hand cleaned up." I pulled him back in the house and he followed me, albeit reluctantly. I made him sit at the island in the kitchen as I cleaned off his hand with a clean cloth. He hissed as I placed an icepack on his hand, to help the swelling go down.

"You're kind of hot when you're all angry and protective," I teased lightly, trying to get his attention away from the window, which he was staring daggers at. He huffed and turned his gaze towards me sulkily. "I don't like this one bit. She should stay away from guys like him."

I shook my head at him. "Baby, she's eighteen and it's her decision to see whoever she likes." I don't think he was really listening because he had a calculating expression on his face. "I could always forbid her. My house, my rules kind of thing," he mused, quickly warming up to the idea.

I glared at him before speaking in a falsely sweet tone, "And I could just let you sleep on the couch for the next five and a half months."

He huffed, accepting defeat. "Fine. But if he so much as blinks wrong, I will not hesitate to beat him into an unrecognisable pulp."

Alice poked her head in the kitchen looking nervous, "Um...I'm going over to Jasper's...just to talk. I'll be back in an hour or so. Okay, bye." She ducked back out of the kitchen before I could get a word in and I heard the door slam shut.

Edward crossed his arms over his chest, looking non too pleased. "Come on Mr. Grumpy. We have the house to ourselves for the first time in two weeks. Let's not waste that time." That seemed to perk him up enough to swing me over his shoulder caveman style and start running up the stairs.

You can the man out of cave, but you can't take the cave out of the man.

******AN: Yes, I am aware that this was a short chapter, but mind gives what it wants to give. Nothing more, nothing less. If I get enough reviews for this chapter I will post another chapter next week so...Review! Pictures of their clothes are up on my blog (Link on profile). I have also submitted an entry into the FetlifeAtTwilight contest. Its all about fetishes so go and check out the submissions for it. Its anonymous so guess which ones mine. http:/www(.)fanfiction(.)net/u/2953292/**


	27. Prove It

**AN: So...how are ya'll? Thanks for all the great reviews! Can you believe that I updated so quickly? This hasn't happened for this story in like...months...its scary!**

Prove it

"What should we do for Spring Break?" Alice asked with a frown, going into complete notebook listing mode. I rolled my eyes and shrugged before going back to my yogurt. I only had a certain amount of time to eat lunch here in the cafeteria and I hated rushing it.

"Who cares? It's not for like another month and a half."

"Three weeks," she corrected me and I raised my eyebrows in disbelief.

"Really?"

She nodded and frowned. "I've made a list of places we could go and I think California is the best option." I wrinkled my nose at that.

"Doesn't everyone go to Cali for Spring Break? It's going to be packed."

She huffed, knowing I was right but not wanting to admit it. "Where else could we go? This Spring Break has to be epic. No lying around in bed or just stuffing our faces like we do every year. This is the last time I am going to be able to really let loose before 'you know what' comes along."

Her eyes darted around the cafeteria suspiciously, but really even at four and a half months she didn't even look like she had out on any weight so no one would even guess she was eating for two.

"Fine, work your pixie dust and figure something out, just leave me out of it," I said, already bored with the conversation. She opened her mouth, most likely to rip me a new one, but she got distracted by something behind me.

Her eyes narrowed into little slits and a sneer took over her face. "What the fuck do you want, hoe bag?" she spat and I turned to see Makenna standing there, her expression equally viscous.

"Save your drama for someone who gives a shit, you hobbit," she spat back before turning to me, her entire face changing into a pleasant one. "Could I talk to you?" she asked.

"Hobbit!" Alice screeched. "How the fuck am I a hobbit?" I honestly blamed the hormones because she didn't generally go this crazy.

Makenna tapped her chin in fake contemplation. "Well, lets see. Your short, ugly and your feet are bigger than a clown's shoes." Alice's face actually started to turn a different color and her fists were clenched so tightly that they had turned white.

If there was something that everyone knew, it was to never mention her feet. She obsessed over their size enough without someone pointing it out.

"Hey Alice," I interjected quickly, hoping to diffuse the situation before it ended up with all three of us detention. "I meant to talk to you about this morning. You know, how you walked in when I was-" Alice held up a hand, looking rather pale.

"I need fresh air," she muttered and hurried off. I sighed in relief, thankful that she had fell for it. It wasn't like I was actually going to publicly announce that I wanted to talk about the fact that she had walked in on me going down on Edward this morning.

It was awkward enough without going on about how I started choking on him because in his surprise he had shoved his cock down my throat. And then, seeing Alice was frozen in shock and staring at us, he wouldn't let me move back.

So I was on my knees choking on him while both him and Alice stood stock still in shock. Thankfully he had gotten soft by that point but still, it really is not easy to concentrate on breathing when you have something like that in your mouth. I think I even started hyperventilating.

Makenna plopped down next to me and leaned over to steal a fry from Alice's tray.

"So...are the rumors about you and Edward true?" she asked nonchalantly, chewing delicately-if that is even possible-on the fry.

I stared at her, wondering why she was even talking to me about this. We had hardly shared more than five words since I had started here and from the incessant whispers I had heard since school had started I had thought everyone from here to Portland knew about us.

"Um...well...yeah. I thought everyone knew that."

She shrugged, "I don't really put much stock in rumors." We sat in silence for a second before she twisted in her seat to face me. "I'm not going to beat around the bush. I know me and you aren't exactly friends, what with you being friends with the munchkin and all, but I want you to give me some advice."

It sounded more like an order than a request, but I couldn't deny that I was curious. "Okay," I said, squaring my shoulders and trying to look confident.

She flipped her hair over her shoulder and leaned in.

"There's this guy, and I know he likes me and his parents are like friends with mine, but since he's like twenty-two, he thinks he shouldn't act on it, which is totally dumb, but whatever. Anyway at New Years there was this party and we ended up like hooking up, but now he is like totally avoiding me. What am I meant to do?"

I kind of gaped at her. Was she seriously asking me advice on trying to get an older guy? Geesh, I won't say that my ego didn't inflate like a ballon, but shit, I wasn't exactly an expert on men. I had only ever been with one and I knew him half my life.

"Umm...well..." I thought furiously about how I reacted when Edward tried to push me away. "...be forceful. Don't take no for an answer. Make him want to choose you. Seduce him and don't back down no matter what he says. Since you know him quite well, you know his weaknesses and everyone knows that sex is one of men's biggest weaknesses. Make him beg for it."

She seemed momentarily surprised for a minute before, what I could only describe as an evil smirk, appeared on her face. "Who knew that you had it in you?" she said, not expecting me to answer. "If you weren't friends with the gnome I wouldn't mind hanging out with you."

I raised my eyebrows, unsure of how I was meant to answer that. "Uh, thank you? Why do you hate Alice so much anyway?"

She shrugged, "It started in kindergarten. I stole her crayon and she cut my hair with a pair of scissors. I punched her and she slapped me and we've hated each other ever since. To be honest I just love getting a rise out of her. It makes my day when her face turns that weird purple color."

She seemed very nonchalant about the whole thing and I was thankful that the bell rang before I was forced to answer. She walked off without a look back in my direction and I headed to history in a daze. Fucking surreal.

Alice was - unsurprisingly - already there and I noticed her and Jasper exchange a shy glance. When his eyes turned to where I was standing I gave him my best bitch face and I noted with satisfaction that he paled and swallowed loudly.

I smirked at him and he coughed and looked away. It was nice to know the affect I had on him. I knew he wouldn't dare cross me especially since his nose was still crooked from where Edward had broken it.

I made my way over to where Alice was sitting and plopped down.

"Can you please just be a little more civil with him," Alice pleaded and I felt a little bad, but I simply didn't trust him.

I simply sighed and rolled my eyes before changing the subject. "Don't you want to hear what Makenna wanted?" This successfully diverted her attention and I quickly gave her a play by play as students continued to file through the door.

"The only reason I cut her hair was because she stole the aqua blue crayon. That one is practically extinct! The bitch broke it as well," Alice ranted, but Jasper called the class to attention and we were forced to concentrate on the lesson...well until Alice started passing notes.

**_What are you and Edward doing for Valentine's Day?_**

_He's taking me to Seattle on the Friday before and we're going to spend the weekend there._

**_Lucky bitch! I think Jasper has something planned..._**

I could tell she was gauging my reaction to that note and I shook my head at her, silently telling that I saw right through her. I knew she wanted me to support her decision and I was trying...sort of.

_It's your life Alice. I don't get to tell you what to do, but if he hurts you in anyway me and Edward won't hesitate to burry him six feet under in the forest._

**_Thank you. You both have my total consent to do that._**

_We better. I'm keeping this note though, just in case you try and play the victim when the police come snooping around._

Alice giggled just a little too loudly and Jasper cleared his throat.

"Miss Brandon, would you care to share just what you find so amusing?"

Alice's face turned into one of pure innocence with huge eyes and all. "Well Sir, me and Bella here were discussing the benefits of tampons over pads. Because while tampons are great, no one really wants to stick something like that up their-"

"That's enough Miss Brandon," Jasper muttered, his face flaming up. I ducked my hear, my own cheeks hot. How she managed to come up with that on the spot I had no idea. All I knew was that she had never, in all the years I had known her, gotten detention for talking in class, something that happened more often not.

The rest of class passed quickly and Alice skipped off without a second glance at either me or Jasper. Her moods were all over the place and it was tedious at best to deal with. It was best just to let it go as water under the bridge and pretend that everything was normal. Though watching her throw a tantrum over peanut butter was actually pretty entertaining.

"Miss Cullen?" I paused in the doorway of the classroom, wondering if I could play it off as if I hadn't heard him, but decided I might as well hear what he had to say. I sighed and waited for the room to empty before closing the door and making my way back to his desk.

"What do you want Jasper?" I asked tiredly.

He seemed nervous as he straightened his tie and sat down behind his desk. He placed his hands flat on the surface and leaned forwards.

"I know you don't like me and you have very reason to be wary of me and my intentions towards Alice, but I'm asking you nicely to just please give me a chance."

I arched an eyebrow at him, unconvinced.

"I'm going to be straight with you," I said in a calm voice. "I dislike you immensely and the only reason I am even bothering to stand here and listen to you is because Alice wants me to make an effort. _You_ did not have to hold your best friend, who for two months had completely ignored your existence to hook up with her teacher, as she cried and vomited over you. She told me she had ruined her life by being with you and getting herself into the predicament that she had. She was young and vulnerable when she was with you. Did you know that her parents are going through a really messy divorce?"

I didn't wait for him to answer before continuing. "I'm sure you did since this is a small town and no one has secrets for long. Yet from what Alice told me, this didn't stop you from taking her virginity in the back of your car. What kind of fucking animal takes a girl's virginity in the back of their car? You are not some cheap high schooler who can't afford to take her to a motel or fuck, just to your house. I _don't_ trust you Jasper. You already broke her heart once and I don't want to see it happen again."

He looked down and sighed, "Bella, I had no idea at the time that she was a virgin. She didn't tell me and while that doesn't excuse me, I know now that I can do so much better."

I scoffed at him. "You got her thrown out of her house, you demoralized her, and you fucked her while you already had a girlfriend. What exactly does that say about your character Jasper? Sure you may be here until the baby arrives , but what happens when some other girl propositions you? Are you just going to dump Alice or are you going to go behind her back and do it?"

His shoulders slumped and he dry washed his face as he accepted defeat.

"I know Isabella, I really do. I was a complete and utter asshole to her and Marie, but you don't know its like being backed into a corner like that. I let things go too far without thinking about the consequences of my actions. I fucked up royally and I panicked when I found out about the pregnancy. I was selfish and didn't think of anyone but myself."

An agonized look crossed his face and he looked in serious pain. "But you know what? I'm paying for that. Everyday I am paying for those mistakes. Everyone in this fucking town knows I cheated on Marie and all the women hate me. Alice doesn't even trust me. She won't even let me hold her hand when we're at my place and no one's around. I'm working so hard to prove to everyone that I am not the asshole I made myself into and until you give me a chance, I haven't got a shot in hell to win her over. I love her Bella so can you please, please give me one chance?"

He barely managed to choke the last words out and I took a good look at his face. He looked tired and haggard and so much older than his twenty five years.

No one had ever begged me for something like that I couldn't help that little part of me that felt sorry for him.

"Did you love Marie?" I asked quietly. His head shot up and he shook it forcefully.

"No! Never! She was nice, but I hadn't really gotten even close to that point yet."

I pursed my lips tightly and leaned in close so that our faces were inches apart. "Prove to me that you love Alice and I'll think about giving you a chance. Until then, stay the fuck out of my way."

Relief was evident on his face as I turned around and walked out. The bell rang and kids started pouring out of their classes and I reminded myself to get Jasper to get me a tardy slip. I wasn't going to get a tardy because he wanted to pour his heart out to me.

Call me heartless or whatever, but I still wasn't sure about him. Sure, my feelings were tipping more in his direction, but I needed to see with my own eyes how he treated and looked after Alice.

If he came up short...well, I guess I could always set Edward on him. An evil smirk spread across my face at that prospect and I shook my head to dispel the images of Edward going to town on Jasper's face. He might have been shirtless in my head, I'm just saying.

**AN: I know that this is kind of a short chapter, but I thought you needed to see that Jasper, while a dick, isn't soooo bad. The next two chapters will be Edward and Bella's Valentines Day Weekend! Smut! 'wiggles tongue and eyebrows'. Review and I just might post again next Friday .Check out any and teasers on my blog!(Link on profile.) ********I have also submitted an entry into the FetlifeAtTwilight contest. Its all about fetishes so go and check out the submissions for it. Its anonymous so guess which ones mine. http:/www(.)fanfiction(.)net/u/2953292/**


	28. Utterly and Truly

**AN: Thanks for all the great reviews! This chapter is fluffy all the way, but it has a lemon at the end so that should cheer you up. I now have a poll up for the sex of Alice's baby, so go vote. *Hint* I'm leaning towards boy right now. Thanks to dirtypillowtalk for beta'ing this chapter for me.**

Utterly and Truly

My eyes darted around, taking in the brightly lit room. The quiet sound of talking and laughter surrounded me along with the clink of glasses and cutlery.

Edward had taken me to Seattle for the weekend before Valentine's Day and brought me to an expensive restaurant. It was the kind of place where you had to wear formal clothes and I must say that Edward looked good in a suit.

Chandeliers hung high on the ceiling and there were marble pillars running around the edges. It made me feel like a kid sitting in on an adult's dinner.

Edward chuckle at the look of awe on my face, but shit, the waiters had monkey suits with waistcoats and you could tell that in an establishment like this, you didn't get your food spat on.

"This place is amazing!" I whispered, my emotions darting from excitement to trepidation. "How did you afford this place?"

Edward rolled his eyes, "Bella, if I could afford to give you a car for Christmas, I think I can pay for a restaurant. Plus this is our first date, it's meant to be extra special."

"Huh," I said stupidly, realizing that he was right. We had been together for a couple for months, yet this was the first time we had officially gone out on a date. I quickly calculated the dates and found that our six month anniversary is in two days.

"Can you believe we've been together for six months?" I asked incredulously, not quite believing it myself. Where had time gone? I could still vividly remember the days when I was pining hopelessly for him.

"Time has gone by pretty quickly." Edward agreed with me as he took a sip of his wine reminding me of my own wine in front of me. They hadn't even carded me, just offered up a bottle. Edward had scoffed when I had gotten Rosé, stating that it wasn't proper wine, but I preferred the slightly sweet, fruity tang that came with it. I never liked anything too strong.

"Should I give you your present now or later?" Edward asked imploringly once I had finished my Salmon en crouté with new potatoes and broccoli. I gave him a disapproving look.

"You shouldn't have bought me anything," I scolded half-heartedly. "You already spoil me too much."

He scoffed at me and reached into his suit jacket pocket to pull out a box, which surprisingly wasn't from Tiffany's. It looked worn and well used and I eyed it suspiciously, wondering if this was a decoy to make me think he hadn't spent a small fortune on it. "Would it make you feel better if I told that I didn't spend a penny on it?" he asked.

I arched an eyebrow at him, disbelievingly. "Not a penny?"

He shook his head, a teasing smile playing on his lips. "Nope, I intended to give it you for your birthday, since it was your eighteenth and all, but with all the drama I decided to wait until it meant more."

I took it from his hands and opened it slowly. A gasp flew from my mouth as I took in the silver necklace. It was shaped like a tear with what looked like diamonds surrounding a tear shaped sapphire in the middle.

"It's a locket," Edward told me. "An old family heirloom that has been passed down for generations when the next reached eighteen; Mum used to say that it was given when the girl was at the cusp of being a woman. Its white gold which was incredibly rare at the time it was made. I can still remember mum telling me as a kid that she was sad that she would never get a daughter to pass it on to and would have to give it to the woman I married. Back then that idea didn't hold much appeal to me, but you know..." He trailed off, his eyes getting distant before focusing back on me.

"If you look on the back you'll see that it has an inscription on it."

I picked it up delicately before turning it around. "_Something old, something blue_," I read out loud before looking back up at Edward. He smiled and scratched the back of his neck awkwardly.

"Yeah, you're meant to wear it on your wedding day for good luck. You know, something borrowed, something blue, something old, and something new. You borrow something and put it in the locket and put something new in it."

I felt tears well up in my eyes at the gift. "I can't accept this," I whispered before waving my hand in front of my face to try and stop the tears from falling down.

"They wanted you to have it," Edward said softly.

I nodded, sniffling and tried to get a grip on my emotions. The gesture of him giving it to me spoke louder than any words he could speak. He loved me, utterly and truly, and while I already knew that, this told me that he could see us together so much further down the line. It also made me feel like I had a part of Carlisle and Esme with me at all times.

"Put it on me?" I asked; my voice thick with emotions. He came around the table and took the necklace from my hands. He lifted up my curled hair and fastened the clasp around my neck. I could feel the cool metal between my breasts and Edward placed a kiss on the side of my neck.

"I love you, baby girl," he murmured and another burst of emotions welled up. He handed me his handkerchief and I dabbed under my eyes as he went back to his seat.

"God Edward," I murmured, a slight chuckle in my voice, "You can't say things like that and expect me to able to retain my makeup."

He let out a chuckle of his own and reached out to thread his fingers with mine. "I'm sorry. I just thought that, since this is meant to be one of the most romantic holidays that I would give you something meaningful. I don't want to be too intense with you because you're still young and you have a lot of decisions to make yet, but I just wanted you to know that...you're it for me. I never thought I would find someone like you, yet you were right in front of me for years."

He lifted our entwined hands and kissed the back of mine.

"Tell me I'm yours," he asked; his eyes soft and vulnerable.

"You're mine," I whispered. "Just the same as I'm yours. Just being here with you like this is more than I ever could have dreamed..." I trailed off just thinking about the last six months we had together.

There had been the ups and downs of any relationship. The fact that he still put the empty orange juice carton back in fridge and felt like he should shoulder the world on his own irked me to no end and had been the cause of a few arguments.

But I liked to think that we were doing okay. We had made it through some rough moments over the months, with the whispering and backstabbing, yet it hadn't lessened our bond. I was glad we were sticking so close together.

We sat in silence as we waited for the bill to come back before Edward spoke. "You know, I don't really understand why Valentine's Day is such a romantic holiday."

I frowned, wondering how his mind got to where it was. "What do you mean?" I asked.

"Well," he murmured, "Valentine was actually a common name used for the early Christians that were martyred. February fourteenth was like a memorial day. There isn't really anything romantic about it."

I rolled my eyes at him. He just had to ruin the perfect, fluffy evening. "Of course the geek has to ruin the moment with historical facts," I said dryly. "How did you go from declaring your love to me to pointing out what a sham this holiday is?"

"Well there was this documentary..."

I kind of tuned him out after that. Just 'umming' and 'ahhing' in the right places to make him think my interest was still on him because no matter what anyone tells you no one listens to their partner one hundred percent of the time. It's natural to fake interest in whatever they like. You can bet your pretty ass they will do the same with you.

"Have you even been listening to me?" Edward asked and I hummed in confirmation around my glass of wine.

"Of course," I lied smoothly. "You were talking about how it changed the middle ages and something about courtly love."

I take my statement from before back. You have to listen to bits and pieces to actually be able to get away with it without hurting anyone's feelings. Just seeing his eyes light up and his hands wave animatedly as he continued speaking was cute.

Thankfully the waiter chose that moment to emerge from I don't know where and slid the bill back over to us.

Edward smiled and thanked him before pocketing his card and taking one of the complementary chocolates. These weren't the cheap kind as well. They were all creamy and it made you want to lick the wrapper clean, something I managed to refrain from doing. I didn't want them to think I was some sort of hick.

You would think that with all the money Carlisle and Esme had I would be used to dining out often but it wasn't the case. Esme preferred to cook and we loved her meals too much to go out that often. When she started to look after Carlisle full time and didn't have the time to always cook, Edward would just take me to the diner or to the McDonald's in Port Angeles.

Edward, being the gentleman that he is, helped me up from my seat, pausing only to look at my legs. I was wearing a simple, silk, black dress with an empire waist and a conservative neckline. What Edward didn't know was under my little black dress was a matching black lace bra and panty set with garters and stockings.

We walked to the exit where we received our coats before heading out into the cool February night. The restaurant hadn't been far from our hotel so we walked back, me snuggled as close as possible to Edward cursing the fact that I was wearing pumps instead of flats.

We talked and laughed all the way back to the hotel, an undercurrent of sexual tension burning between us. A doorman opened the door to the hotel and we nodded our thanks as we walked into the expanse hallway.

Edward never did anything halfway, but when he said he was going to wine and dine me properly, I hadn't expected this.

The ride up in the elevator was a lesson in self-restraint, but it didn't stop Edward from moving his hand, which had been placed in the small of my back, down to the curve of my ass and squeezing it gently.

I raised an eyebrow at him, my lip twitching in amusement and he gave me a sultry look that held such promise. The elevator dinging as the doors slid open and we walked down the hall to our room.

Edward already had the card out before we got there and slid it in easily, breathing a sigh of relief when it flashed green and clicked open. He pulled me in the room quickly after him, once he had retrieved the card, and closed the door behind us.

Coats were discarded quickly and with ease before we turned back to each other. Darkness surrounded us, the only light coming from the street outside, as I felt our chests press against each other. I angled my head to look up at him and he leaned his head close so that our lips sat inches apart.

He lifted a hand as if to touch my cheek but stopped halfway as a shuddering breath left him. My lips trembled along with the rest of me as he leaned even closer, letting his eyes fall closed. His mouth ghosted along my cheek before going back to my lips.

"Please," I whispered, grasping his shirt in one of my hands and closing my eyes. He let out a choked breath before allowing our lips to collide gently but passionately.

I gasped as the force of the kiss tilted my head back and pressed my body further into him. His hand that was paused halfway to my cheek dove into my hair, threading through it and clutching it tightly as if he was afraid that with one careless movement I would disappear.

Our lips moved against each other, silently speaking of want and need.

Edward pulled back from me and stared into my eyes for a long minute before slowly kissing down my neck, starting just behind my ear. I shivered, even though I was feeling anything but cold, and his free hand snaked up my back to my dress's zipper.

"Let me make love to you Bella," he whispered; his lips moving down to my collarbone.

"Yes," I murmured, tilting my head back and arching into him.

The sound of my zipper being pulled down sent sparks through me, making my breathing shallow with anticipation. He smoothed his hands under the fabric of my dress parting it. They travelled up to my shoulders and pushed the sleeves down, leaving nothing to hold it up anymore.

It pooled to my feet and Edward sucked in a sharp breath through his teeth as his eyes roamed my body hungrily.

"Are you trying to kill me?" he asked as he dragged his nose along my shoulder and down to my bra. My legs shook and I gripped his shoulders in my hands to keep from toppling over. His nose nudged the cup of my bra, running it from the top to the valley of my breasts.

His hands deftly undid my bra and pushed it away so that it hung limply over my breasts. He pulled back long enough to get rid of it before taking my lips up into another kiss.

His hands splayed over the expanse of my back going up and down, back and forth, in an effort to memorize and map out this skin. He started moving back slowly towards the bed and I stumbled in my pumps.

I would have fallen if Edward's hands hadn't gripped my waist just in time. He lifted me up and I kicked off my pumps before he laid me across the bed, my legs hanging off it.

He stood back up and pulled off his tie and shirt quickly. He placed his knee between my parted legs and leaning over me, kissing me softly before letting his lips hunt down my body to my breasts. I moaned and let my head rest against the sheets as he laved my breasts with attention.

His tongue flicked and wound round my nipple before he took it between his teeth and bit down gently. I gasped as a shiver shot down my spine and arched up into him, my hands winding in his hair and my eyes falling closed.

He took as much of my breast as he could into his mouth and suckled on it, while using his hand to knead my free breast. After giving each breast its due attention he continued down, peppering my stomach and pelvis with kisses. He placed a kiss on the crotch of my panties and inhaled deeply.

"God, baby, I can smell just how wet you are," he crooned and looked up at me from between my legs, his jade eyes heavy with lust. I panted and looked down at him, my skin hot and flushed. He undid my garters and pulled my stockings down slowly, leaving a fiery trail of where his mouth followed behind it.

I moaned and squirmed as he sucked the skin behind my knee and I had a feeling, by the way my wetness was seeping out of me, that I would never be able to wear these panties again. When he finally crawled up my body, I attacked his lips with my own and scrambled to undo his belt.

I was desperate and needy as I pulled his pants and boxers down as far as my hands could reach, my lips not once separating from his. He kicked off his shoes and toed off his socks before reluctantly moving off me to rid himself of the rest of his clothes.

He hooked his fingers into my panties and pulled them off me, leaving us both as naked as the day we were born. I sat up, reaching for him as he stood between my legs, his erection bobbing against his stomach.

I pulled myself up onto my knees and delved my hands deep into his hair. My lips wasted no time in fusing themselves to his and it didn't take long for our tongues to start twisting and swirling with one another.

My breasts were crushed against his chest and I tugged him forwards as I moved back.

He climbed up on the bed, following me as I fell back among the pillows. He placed his hands on each side of my head before reaching down and hitching my leg over his hip, pressing his erection into my wet pussy. It slid through my slick folds as he rocked his hips gently against mine.

"Edward," I moaned, clawing at his back, trying to grab onto something to keep me grounded. He pants out a groan and rested his forehead against mine before shifting his position slightly, pressing his cock at my entrance but not entering into me.

"I want to feel you...all of you," he pants, "nothing else. Just you and me." I nodded vigorously and angled my hips up to try and get him to slip inside of me.

He pushed into me slightly, the tip resting within my walls.

A groan flew from his lips and he shut his eyes tightly. "I love you baby girl, so much," he whispered, his breath fanning out across my face as he slowly entered me fully. We lay there, the only noise our heavy breathing, as we basked in the moment. The feeling of coming together to make completeness washed over me and I trembled underneath him.

"Thank you," I whispered, overwhelmed by what I was feeling. "I-I-I oh god, I love you...so much."

Tears pooled into my eyes as he started slow, measured thrusts and I clung to him, not letting an inch of space come between us. His swollen lips kissed my tears away and we moved together in an old age dance. Hips lifted, pelvis's pushed and pulled, lips caressed one another, bodies shifted, bringing us closer together with each thrust.

He ran a hand through the thick strands of my hair, pushing it away from my face as my eyelids fluttered. The feel of him entering and retreating from my body, each thrust calculated and precise, made my stomach curl with heat.

"Every day," he murmured quietly, as if he was almost talking to himself. I strained my ears to hear him as he continued talking.

"I want this every day, this feeling, this girl, this love. God, please tell me I can have this every day. I never want to give this up."

Emotion welled up in me as I cupped his face in my hands. "Never," I whispered. "You have me forever."

His eyes shone with tears as he blinked rapidly before closing his eyes and concentrating on our bodies. I slid my hands into his hair on each side of his head and wrapped my free leg around his waist, crossing my ankles together. I whimpered at the new angle this position caused him to hit and I kissed him hungrily.

I felt like the passion we had, had been locked away before tonight and the floodgates had just been opened, letting it flow freely over us. I could feel every inch of him, long and thick as he filled me, reaching deep inside me and giving me what no one else had ever given me.

Only he could give me this. His body, his heart, and his mind were the only things capable of giving me what I needed.

To imagine a world without him was like imaging a world without me in it. There was no me without him and as cheesy and cliché as it sounded we were the missing pieces to the completeness of each other's souls.

My lungs constricted from lack of air and I was forced to pull my lips from his. I could feel myself getting close and reached down to touch my clit. Edward grasped my wrist before I could reach between my legs and shook his head. He pulled both of my hands above my head and I frowned confused.

"Edwa-" he cut me off with a soft kiss before pulling back and shaking his head again.

"No...Let me," he murmured, "Only me."

I sucked in a sharp breath at the implications of his words.

I wasn't a pessimistic, just a realist, and I knew that women didn't come often without extra stimulation. Yes, I had come before without the extra stimulation, but generally that was when he was pounding into me or purposefully hitting my g-spot on each thrust.

I looked deep in his eyes and once I saw how sincere he was I decided to just trust him. I nodded in agreement and he let me hands go free.

He took my bottom lip into his mouth nipping and sucking on the plump flesh before sliding his lips down and across my jaw. The hand at the curve of my ass moved over my sweaty skin until it was cupping the soft, supple flesh of my breast.

I arched into him as he manipulated the skin, rubbing, plucking and kneading it with his fingers. My hips bucked desperately into his, crying for more as he willing gave it to me.

"Yes," I moaned out, my pulse ringing loudly in my ears, quick with adrenaline and anticipation. Every part of me knew what was coming and I let him bring me closer and closer.

I gasped as he pinched my nipple and felt my body start to shudder as my orgasm started to wash over me like the waves hitting the shore. It was unexpected and took me by surprise and I grasped tightly to Edward as my eyes scrunched shut.

There were no screaming or loud moans as my walls collapsed around him, hugging him deep inside of me. Only parted lips expelling heavy breathing and small whimpers were heard from me, but it didn't make my orgasm any weaker.

Edward whispered encouraging words in my ear, urging me on, prolonging my orgasm as his hips continued moving. He throbbed in me as he stilled a quiet groan on his lips as he shuddered and spilt his seed deep inside of me.

The act of him cumming inside of me held meaning to me. It was another way for us to connect. Sure, the likeliness that I would get pregnant was slim to none, but a part of him - for a few hours at least - was a part of me.

His arms gave out and rested his weight on me, enveloping me in his arms and rolling over so that I was lying on my side, him directly behind me, spooning me.

He placed a kiss on my hair and pulled the bedspread up to cover us. No words were exchanged as we lay there, our legs tangled together as I slid mine through his. I ran my hands over his knuckles that were entwined together as his arms wrapped around me tightly.

I felt something brush against my hand and I skimmed my hand over the locket that I had forgotten was still around my neck.

I vowed there and then to never take it off. It was the perfect illustration of love, both platonic and romantic. I wondered if the women who had worn this before me had someone love them, a lover or husband that wrapped them in so much love that it choked them.

There was so much history in it and as drifted off to sleep, safe and protected in Edward's arms, I wondered if I would ever get to give it to a bronze haired daughter.

**AN: Too sappy and fluffy? Meh, they needed a squishy Valentines Day after all the drama. Bella will not get pregnant, okay? I have no intentions of letting Edward's seed take root and doing some sort of double birth scene. One pregnant character is enough for this story, thank you very much. Review!**

******I have also submitted an entry into the FetlifeAtTwilight contest. Its all about fetishes so go and check out the submissions for it. Its anonymous so guess which ones mine. VOTING HAS STARTED! http:/www(.)fanfiction(.)net/u/2953292/**

**********Also I have written an E pov of the first part of First Time for the Fandom for Sexual Abuse Awareness, so go donate if you want to read it. Any of you who have read To Love is to Live and want more can donate to Fandom for Storms.**

**The picture of her necklace is up on my blog.**


	29. Gaining Wings

**N: I intended to make this chapter long and smutty but... my characters begged for plot and I was powerless against them. There's a small lemon at the beginning though. Thanks to dirtypillowtalk for beta'ing this chapter for me.**

Gaining Wings

Sunlight filtered through the window, casting light onto my face. My eyes opened, squinting as they got used to the change of light. I stretched, pushing back against Edward who still had his arms wound tightly around me. I lay there for a minute just basking in what had happened the night before; the slow seduction, the feeling of completeness, the ache that had burned deep inside. I sighed in contentedness, a smile spreading across my face.

I wiggled, trying to get out of Edward's grip so that I could go to the bathroom, but he only tightened his grip on me and groaned in annoyance.

"Edward," I murmured, "I need the bathroom."

He let out another groan before relinquishing his hold and rolling onto his back, an arm slung over his eyes. I slipped off the bed, pausing to shrug into Edward's shirt that was left on the floor, and headed for the bathroom. I shut the door quietly, not bothering to lock it, and turned on the shower before going to the toilet.

I slid the door of the shower closed behind me as I stepped under the hot spray, indulging in the many showerheads. My head tilted back and I closed my eyes, letting the water spill onto my face as my muscles relaxed. I raked a hand through my hair and nearly jumped out of my skin as I felt a pair of arms wrap round me.

"I thought you were asleep," I said, my heart thumping wildly in my chest.

Edward pressed himself against me fully so that I could feel that _all_ of him was awake and pushed my hair over my shoulder so that he could press kisses along the curve of my neck. I melted into his touch, leaning my head to the side to give him more skin to run his lips across.

He hummed against my throat and glided his hands over my stomach, one heading up to caress the full, plump flesh of my breast while the other headed down and cupped my pussy, spreading my folds apart as they dipped inside them.

I gasped and steadied myself against him, gripping his hair tightly in my hand as his mouth continued giving attention to my neck. I arched into the hand that was on my breast, pressing myself back against him as he rocked his hips against my ass, letting his cock slip through my folds and nudge my clit.

Edward pushed a finger into my entrance, thrusting it slowly as he bit down gently my neck, sucking the skin into his mouth. I moaned lowly, rocking against his hand as I snaked a hand of my own behind me and grasped his erection tightly at the base. A strangled groan left his lips as his hips bucked forwards, his cock twitching at the newfound attention.

It was an oddly intimate moment; as we stood under the heat of the spray, water cascading down our bodies, our hips rocking as our hands brought each other closer to orgasm.

"God baby, just like that," he grunted into my ear, his breathing heavy as he thrust into my hand. I rested my head back on his shoulder, my sensitive skin tingling.

"Kiss me," I whispered, just loud enough for him to hear me. Water clung to my eyelashes as I opened my eyes and looked up into his green ones, which darted from my lips to my eyes repeatedly. His lips parted slightly, the bottom lip jutting out slightly into a pout, as he slowly lowered his head, angling it to the side as he crushed his mouth to mine.

My fingers curled in his hair, my nails digging into his scalp as his lips moved gently against mine. He kissed my bottom lip and then my top, sucking the skin into his mouth briefly before releasing it. There was no rush in the kiss, even though our lower halves continued moving along with our hands.

His tongue delved between my parted lips, massaging and dancing with mine, as he thrust two fingers in and out of me and rubbed my clit with his thumb. Pleasure burned deep inside of me and my chest heaved as I struggled to breathe.

My hand tightened around him, wanting him to feel the pleasure that was coursing through my body. He pulled his lips away from mine so that we could catch our breaths and leaned his forehead against mine, his eyes staring intently into mine.

Steam wrapped around us as we breathed each other in, our lips refusing to stray far from on another but not quite joining. His breath was shallow while mine was heavy. Complete opposites and yet they complemented each other perfectly.

"Are you close?" he asked, practically breathing the words into my mouth. I nodded and he quickened the pace of his fingers, his forehead creased as he tried to concentrate on bringing me to an orgasm.

I could feel him throb in my hand as I rubbed my thumb over the tip, telling me that he was close.

His hand that had been lying dormant on my breast moved, the finger flexing around it, kneading and manipulating the flesh in whatever way he pleased. I whimpered my back arching as my legs trembled and the walls of my pussy clenched and spasmed around his fingers.

"That's it baby," he whispered into my ear, "Let it all go."

I fell from the precarious ledge I had been balancing on and moaned out as his name as my orgasm hit me, tugging me down under its waves. My whole body trembled as pleasure shot through every pore and Edward's hand kept on working over my flesh, prolonging it.

My legs nearly gave out as I came down from my high and only Edward's quick reflexes - years of living with me had given him them - saved me from collapsing. He turned me around in his arms, pulling me tightly to him.

"Are you okay?" he asked, pushing my hair out of my eyes. I nodded and reaching down between us to where he was still hard.

"Bella, its fine, you don't need to...oh god, you know what, ignore me."

I giggled at him as he leaned back against the shower, his head back and his eyes closed. My hand worked him in a quick rhythm and since he had already been close when I stopped, it didn't take long for him to come, his seed washing away in the now cold water.

"We should get out," I told him as I reached behind him and switched off the shower. He hummed in agreement, but made no immediate move to get out. I shook my head at him and stepped out careful, knowing Edward wasn't in any condition to catch me.

I dried myself vigorously with a towel and pulled my hair back into a wet ponytail before shrugging back into Edward's shirt and doing up the buttons. I exited the bathroom just as Edward stepped out the shower and wrapped a towel around his waist. I pulled on a pair of boy shorts, making sure to bend over at the waist as I did so, so that Edward got a good view of my ass.

He groaned quietly and I peered at him over my shoulder, throwing a wink in his direction. He shook his head at me and turned back to the sink where he was shaving.

"You just love torturing me, don't you?" he called out as I practically skipped back into the bathroom and hoisted myself up on the counter next to him.

"More than anything," I replied with a cheeky grin. He chuckled at me and turned his attention back to the mirror. I watched in fascination as he ran the blade slowly over his skin, pushing away the cream to reveal soft skin.

"Do you want to try?" he asked, catching my gaze in the mirror and holding out his razor.

I had always wanted to try shaving him, but to be honest; with my clumsy antics I would most likely cut his face open. I winced at the imagery and shook my head.

"No, I'll probably mess it up."

"You sure?" He held my gaze for another minute, searching my eyes and weakening my resolve. I chewed thoughtfully on my bottom lip before giving in, clumsy nature or not.

"Okay, but I'm warning you now that I will not be held responsible for any nicks or cuts." I gave him a stern look to communicate my seriousness and took his razor out of his hands. He moved so that he was standing between my legs, his hands resting on my thighs, completely trusting of my abilities. It was slightly daunting and I was determined not to mess this up.

My brow furrowed with concentration as I pressed the razor tentatively to his jaw and glided it down.

"Like this?" I asked; making sure I was doing it right.

"A little harder," he replied quietly, his hands squeezing my thighs encouragingly.

I pressed it more firmly this time, my confidence growing with each stroke that revealed clear, chiseled skin. I would pause every so often to ask if he were okay, to which he would respond with a hum and a squeeze to my thigh.

He planted a sweet kiss on my cheek when I finished before running his hand over his jaw and inspecting it in the mirror.

"Not bad," he said, sounding rather impressed. I beamed up at him, feeling rather proud of myself, and he cupped my face and lowered his mouth to mine. Just as our lips were about to join there was a knock on the door.

Edward sighed and pulled back, allowing me the room to slide of the counter, "Room service," he explained.

I frowned at him, "When did you order room service?"

He looked sheepish, "Well, when I booked the room I asked for them to bring up room service in the morning at ten. I didn't want you to have to worry about it."

I kissed him sweetly on the lips, touched by the gesture. Three, short raps came again and I sighed. "Shall I get it or do you want to?"

He let out a sigh of his own. "I'll get it." He walked back into our room and slid on his pants from last night as he dropped the towel. He buttoned them up before going to answer the door.

A woman no older than twenty-five shimmied - that was the only way to describe it - into the room, pulling in a food trolley. She unloaded all the food onto the table in the corner, blatantly flirting with Edward, who just looked amused by her antics. I stood in the doorway, leaning against the frame taking in the scene.

Now, I wasn't the jealous type, but the way she batting her eyelids and touching his bare chest at any available chance was a little much. I mean, come on, what happened to professionalism?

I channeled my inner vixen as I undid all the buttons of the shirt I was wearing but the three in the middle, giving a hint of breast and stomach without being too obvious and slutty. I pulled out the elastic band from my hair and shook my hair loose, so that it fell around me in damp waves.

"Baby," I called out, my voice low and husky. Edward turned, his eyes darkening as they took me in and his left eyebrow quirking in surprise, most likely wondering when so much skin came out. The woman flipped her dark hair over her shoulder and narrowed her eyes at me as her lips pursed in annoyance.

I held her gaze easily, raising my eyebrows challengingly as a smirk twitched at the corner of my mouth.

_That's right bitch. I'm younger, prettier, and perkier than you are, so move the fuck along._

She huffed, getting my message loud and clear as she went back to her task. She gathered up all her things and started pushing the cart out of the door.

"Wait," I called out as Edward looked on with mild fascination. I sauntered over to her, making sure to sway my hips provocatively. I held out a crisp five-dollar bill, which she snatched from my hand rather rudely.

"Buy yourself something pretty," I told her, running my eyes over her uniform condescendingly. Her jaw clenched as she stormed off, slamming the door shut behind her.

"What was that all about?" Edward asked as he came up behind me and slid his hands over my bare stomach. "Not that I don't like you all assertive and jealous. Watching you put her in her place was pretty fucking sexy." He growled softly against my neck and I twisted around in his arms and pouted.

"She was being unprofessional. You're mine and I didn't like the way she was throwing herself at you. No one touches this chest but me." I ran my hands over his bare chest to prove my point and Edward chuckled.

"You're cute when you act all possessive. This kitty has claws," he teased. He made a hissing noise and pretended to swipe me with his hands.

"I'm serious Edward," I said, annoyed that he was making fun of me.

He sobered up quickly and placed a kiss on my forehead. "I know, baby girl, and I love you for that. If anyone ever did something like that to you, I would punch their lights out."

"Really?" I asked, because I had always figured Edward as a more passive-aggressive kind of guy. Then again, the whole thing with Jasper could refute that.

"Uh huh, don't you remember when Mike tried to force himself on you? If he wasn't a minor and it wouldn't have upset you, I would have knocked him around a bit."

I shivered, remembering that night. "Don't remind me," I muttered.

"If we want to get to your appointment in time then we need to eat and get dressed," Edward reminded me and my stomach fluttered in anticipation.

An hour later we were full, dressed and ready to go.

I pulled on my calf length leather, buckled boots over my ripped grey jeans, which I had paired with a long stripped tank top and a thick jacket. Edward wore jeans with a striped t-shirt, black sneakers and his favorite, worn Diesel jacket.

"You know that we kind of match," I told him as we walked down the street, bundled up in scarves and hats and hiding underneath a black umbrella.

He hummed in agreement before changing the subject. "Are you sure you want to do this?" he asked for the fiftieth time in the space of the last hour. "Once it's done, it can't be undone."

I sighed and looked up at him, "Edward, this is something I've wanted for a while. I'm not doing this on a whim. I want something that will physically remind me every day of the things I have accomplished and the things I can accomplish."

He nodded and let out a sigh of his own. "Okay. But I'm warning you now that it's going to hurt."

I rolled my eyes as I pushed open the door to the tattoo parlor. "Yeah, so you've said about...oh I think we've hit the thirties now."

He huffed at me and went over to the desk where a mammoth of a man covered in tattoos and piercings stood. "Hey Felix, long time no see." He held out his hand and they shared one of those man hugs and Felix patted Edward on the back, a smile softening his scary features.

"You know how it is Ed. What can I do for you today? You want another tattoo?"

Edward shook his head and beckoned me over. "Not for me Felix. I set up an appointment with Heidi to do a tattoo for my girlfriend."

Felix's eyebrows shot up as he regarded me before reaching under the desk and taking out some papers. "Well, then she is going to have to fill out this paperwork and then I'll send her in." I took the paperwork and I noticed, just before I turned around to sit on one of the couches in the corner, Felix mouth 'nice' to Edward in regards to me.

I barely managed to hide my smug grin because no matter how confident I was in Edward's love for me, sometimes those insecurities would sneak up and tell me that maybe he would be better off with someone closer to his own age. Not because I wasn't smart, because I was, but because people - even those who didn't know the ins and outs of our relationship - only saw a guy who was nine years older than his girlfriend, which for some reason automatically labeled him a pervert.

It didn't take me long to fill out the paperwork - it was a bit similar to the one you had to fill out at the hospital - and make my way back over to the desk where Edward and Felix were talking animatedly about something.

"All done," I said, placing the paperwork down.

Felix flicked through them quickly before looking back up at me.

"I hate to have to ask this, but could I see some ID?"

I dug out my purse and gave him my drivers' license. He looked at it for a second before giving it back with a smile on his face.

"Sweet! Well, you two go on back, I'm sure Heidi is waiting for you."

Nerves tumbled around my stomach and my breaths quickened as we headed into the back where a blonde in a floral print maxi dress with colorful tattoos sat doodling.

"Hey Heidi," Edward called out and she looked up and smiled.

"Ed," she said as she stood and hugged him before looking me over quickly. "You must be his girlfriend he told me about over the phone. It's nice to meet you. I've been tweaking the design you sent the other day, just to give it more life, and I think it's ready."

She spun round and walked over to her desk, rifling through some stray papers before she found the one she was looking for.

"Here," she handed it to me and all the breath left inside of me disappeared.

It was perfect.

I had struggled since New Years to find the perfect tattoo to represent me fully, something to show how much I had grown, inwardly and outwardly.

I had stumbled on a black and white picture of a dove; its wings outstretched in flight, and had immediately fallen in love with it. I had gotten Alice to print it out for me since she had a way with computers that surpassed my simple clicking of the internet button. She had taken the picture and printed an exact replica of the one I wanted, but Heidi, as she said before, had brought it to life.

Excitement surged through my veins in anticipation of what was to come.

"It's perfect," I told her. She beamed at me, "Good. Now Edward said you wanted it on your back..."

I nodded in understanding and unbuttoned my jacket and shrugged out of it before lifting up the back of my tank top. "I want it just here." I ran my hand over the small of my back, indicating the area that I wanted it.

"Great!" she exclaimed, rubbing her hands together, "You're going to want to lay down on your front then." She lowered the chair flattening it out so that it was completely straight. She motioned for me to lie down before she turned and prepped the equipment. I shot a nervous smile over at Edward before pulling up my top so that most of my back was uncovered and laid down.

I had researched the process of getting a tattoo so I wasn't surprised when she took out a disposable razor and ran it over where I wanted the tattoo. Once she was done, she cleaned the area with an antibacterial wipe so that any lingering hairs would be gone. She picked up the stencil she had drawn and gently placed it on my skin, running her hand over it, pressing it onto my skin before peeling it off.

"Take a look," she encouraged, allowing me to stand up and check out the stencil in the full-length mirror.

It looked just how I imagined it would. "It's just how I imagined," I told her as I lay back down

Heidi seemed happy with that response and situated the stool next to me so that she could access my back and the ink easily.

"You don't mind if I play music, do you?" she looked between Edward and me. We both shook our heads, indicating that it was fine for her to. "Good, music always helps me concentrate when I ink, but some people get weird when I play it."

She picked up a remote next to her and pressed play, making The Black Keys come out of the speakers instantly. She took two gloves out of the box by her side and pulled on the gloves with an audible snap.

"You ready?" she asked, while getting the needle ready.

"Yeah," I replied softly before the loud buzzing of the needle filled the room, humming just under the sound level of the music. "This is gonna hurt," she warned and I reached out my hand for Edward's and closed my eyes. His warm hand enveloped mine just as the needle touched my skin, causing me to wince in pain, even though it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.

I stayed like that, my eyes closed with Edward's hand clutched in mine, for the full hour and half, just concentrating on the lyrics coming through the speaker and on my breathing. She asked me a few times if I wanted to stop, but since I felt fine I decided to just have it all done in one go, something that didn't please Edward too much.

I felt slightly dizzy as I sat up once she had finished and I steadied myself on the chair beneath me. Edward immediately offered me a water bottle. "You should drink if you're feeling dizzy," he said, his voice stern, leaving no room for argument. I gulped down half the bottle before standing up carefully, adrenaline still coursing through my veins, and went to check it out.

Somehow it looked even better than the stencil, more alive and leaping off my skin, even with my skin being red.

"No words," I whispered. "Absolutely no words."

"That good, eh?" she joked and I nodded.

"It's perfect."

I practically had to hold back the squeal that threatened to escape my lips as I rocked on the balls of my feet.

"I'm glad you like it," she said as she started putting all her things away. "We need to bandage that up and go over the aftercare now though. So say goodbye to your tattoo for now because you won't see it for a while."

She rubbed in some Vaseline to keep the tattoo moist before covering it with gauze, all the while directing me in the right way to take care of my tattoo. I was too excited over the fact that I had an actual tattoo to really listen so I was glad when she wrote it all down and gave it to Edward.

Even as we walked back out into the rain, my umbrella the only thing protecting us from it, I couldn't quite believe I had done it. Only the subtle burn of the skin on my back solidified it and I beamed as I snuggled under Edward's arm that was wrapped around my waist.

Nothing could wipe the smile off my face and I couldn't help the spring in my step as we walked back to the hotel.

**AN: The picture of her tattoo is on my blog if you want to see it (link on profile). I've entered into the TLS Lyrics and Lemons Contest. It was a last minute entry and it's an anonymous contest. Voting starts on the sixteenth. Also, thank you for all who voted for me in the Fetlife At Twilight contest. If you didn't already know I won first place for Voter's Choice! My first contest win so I am pretty stoked. I have posted my entry up on my profile if you want to take a little look. Its called Who's Your Papi. It's a fetish fic so be warned. Okay, I think that's it. Review!**


	30. Baby Blues

**AN: Thanks for all the great reviews! Thanks to dirtypillowtalk for beta'ing the for me. We find out the sex of Alice's birthday today! Thanks for all you who voted in the poll and sorry that this is a day late, I completely forgot.**

Baby Blues

"This is going to be cold," the technician told Alice as she squirted some clear gel onto her bare stomach. We were at the doctors for Alice's checkup and today she was finally going to see the sex of her baby. It had always been facing the other way every time she had tried but today she said she had a good feeling about it.

"I feel like Juno!" Alice practically squealed, practically vibrating with excitement as she lay on the examination table, staring at the fuzzy screen as technician used the wand over her stomach.

I was in awe as the steady, quiet thump of the baby's heartbeat could be heard. You could just make out the small shape of the baby as the technician moved the wand around and Alice squeezed my hand in a death grip.

"That's my baby," she whispered, tears gathering in her eyes. I now could completely relate to Alice's change of heart when it came to the baby. She had told me that as soon as she had heard the baby's heartbeat she had fallen in love with baby Brandon and she wasn't so much as scared as determined not to fuck up motherhood.

"Ah! You're in luck today. It seems that Baby Brandon is cooperating with us. It looks like you are going to have a...boy!"

Alice wiped her eyes with the hand that wasn't crushing mine and went back to vibrating with excitement. She squinted at the screen, trying to work out what was what.

"Is that his foot or his penis?" she asked and I couldn't help the snort that exited me.

"Ali, if that's his penis, then damn your boy is going to be hung like an elephant!"

She beamed, "Just like his daddy."

I choked, trying to quill the urge to throw up. "That is more information than I need to know and talking of his daddy, why isn't he here with you?"

She shrugged her shoulders nonchalantly. "He hasn't earned that privilege yet. You may think I'm going easy on him, but I'm keeping him at arm's length until I trust him again. So far he's earned hand holding and kisses on the cheek. If he tries anything more I'll junk punch him. He hurt me and until I know he won't do something like that again, there is no way he getting into my bed, no matter how horny I am."

The technician raised her eyebrows at that and I mouthed 'hormones' to her. She smirked and went back to her job.

"Do you want me to bring the car around while you get changed and grab a copy of your sonogram?" I asked and she nodded, absently, too busy staring at her baby.

I couldn't keep the smile off my face as I walked out the office onto the street.

"Hey!" Someone called after me and I turned to find a Quileute girl in her early twenties standing there in a pair of ripped jeans with a plain shirt under her worn leather jacket.

"You're that girl that everyone's talking about, right? The one who's fucking her father?"

I folded my arms over my chest and gave her my best bitch face. I hated the way people twisted the truth around here, how they had turned my relationship into something sordid and dirty.

"He isn't my father. Fuck, he's only nine years older than me. I am done with you narrow minded people who are set on making my relationship with my _boyfriend_ look bad. Yeah he was my guardian, but I'm eighteen now. A legal adult. So you go tell the gossipers to stick their rumors up their asses."

She looked slightly taken aback and raised her hands in surrender. "Woah, okay, calm down. The only reason I know is because my younger brother like worships your boyfriend like the sun shines out of his ass each morning and is constantly defending you two."

I frowned at her, confused, "Your brother?"

"Yeah. Jacob Black...ring any bells?" she asked, her expression expectant like I should have already known.

"Oh...yeah Jake. He's nice. I haven't seen him since the Christmas party. How is he?" I asked, feeling kind of bad for shouting at her.

She shrugged, "Meh, as annoying as he usually is. Nothing interesting to report, I gotta go, but I'll tell him you asked about him, he'll probably be overjoyed that you remembered him." She rolled her eyes and strolled off without another word.

I walked to my car in a daze and it roared to life as I put it in gear and drove to the doctor's office. Alice stood impatiently on the sidewalk, bouncing up and down on the heels of her feet as I pulled up. I leaned over and opened the door for her.

"Need a ride stranger?" I asked.

"I'd be much obliged," she answered in her best Scarlet O'Hara voice as she slipped into the passenger seat, her sonogram picture in hand. She rooted through the deep pit that was her bag as we drove back towards home.

"I came up with a list of boy and girl names in advance so I wouldn't be blindsided when the time came," she said, pulling out one of her many notebooks.

"Why am I not surprised," I muttered quietly, but somehow she had developed bat hearing and caught it.

"What is that supposed to mean?" she demanded and I quickly backtracked.

"Nothing dear, I was commenting on your swift planning for all situations."

She didn't look convinced but she let it drop. "You better and thinking of swift planning, I invited Jasper over so that all four of us could go over the plan for Spring Break and don't you dare roll your eyes at me young lady."

I pulled a face at her, "You better hope that Jasper doesn't get there before we do otherwise I don't think your baby will have a father."

I had actually been joking...kinda but the look of worry that overtook Alice's face told me just how seriously she had taken my comment. "Well you better step on it then."

We made what should have been an hour journey in just less than forty minutes and I didn't get a single ticket. Living here proved to be useful for knowing where all the cops laid in wait to catch you. It was one of the reasons why - and though I would never tell her to her face - I was a better driver than Alice was.

She didn't care about being careful or getting tickets, she just liked the speed.

I passed Edward's car in the drive and Jasper's on the sidewalk and parked in the garage. Alice sprang out of her seat as quick as possible and burst into the house at a near run. I followed her after locking up, not really too worried.

I found her standing open mouthed as she stared into the living room. I looked in and found Edward and Jasper sitting on the couch, drinking beers and watching a football game on ESPN.

Neither of them looked like they had been in a fight, in fact I would say they looked kind of cozy - in a non gay kind of way. Not that I had a problem with gays. Each to their own and all of that.

I cleared my throat and they both looked up at us.

"Oh, you're back. How was your appointment?" Jasper asked in an almost timid voice. I watched in mild fascination as Alice's demeanor changed to aloof and she flicked her hair over her shoulder and shrugged.

"It was okay...I'm having a boy."

"Mazel Tov," Edward said, raising his beer in congratulation and beckoning me over with his eyes. I wasted no time in walking over to him and giving him a quick kiss hello before stealing his beer and plopping down next to him.

"Who's playing?" I asked, taking a sip. Edward opened his mouth to respond, but Alice cut him off.

"Wait a damn minute here. We are meant to be having a Spring Break planning meeting."

Edward groaned and slumped back into his chair. "Can't you just decide everything and just spring it on us like you usually do?" he asked.

Alice huffed at him, "You're as bad as Bella and I _do_ have everything planned. This is more of a briefing if anything. It probably won't take more than half an hour so get your butts into the dining room."

We grudgingly got up and followed Alice into the living room. I pulled out a chair and went to sit in it, but Edward grabbed me around the waist and dragged me onto his lap, nuzzling my neck.

"If I'm going to get through this, I'm going to need you close by," he muttered quietly. I snickered at that and Alice turned her evil eyes on me, warning me to make another sound.

I held up my hands in defeat and she pulled out her iPad.

"Seeing as you all were to 'busy' to bother planning out our epic Spring Break I took it upon myself to do it for all of us." She paused most likely waiting for the thanks that wasn't coming.

She huffed and started tapping away at her iPad.

"We are going to L.A..."

I groaned at that. "I thought I said that I wanted to go anywhere _other_ than California?" I groused.

"Well, if you had helped me then you could have chosen, but you didn't so suck it up."

I scowled at her smug face and leaned back into Edward, my arms crossed over my chest.

"I wasn't sure if Edward or Jasper could take time off for it so I left their part open ended. You two decide what you're doing, but me and Bella are driving down to LA and spending two glorious weeks by the pool in the sun..."

"Wait, wait, wait...have you thought that I might actually want to spend time with my girlfriend? I'm a doctor; I can't just ditch my time at the hospital and run off to LA."

He looked kind of pissed off at the thought and I ran a hand through his hair soothingly.

"I have to agree with Edward," Jasper interjected. "I have papers to grade and end of term plans to make. I can't just ditch it and hop on a plane to LA, it's just not feasible to ask me to do that."

Alice crossed her arms over her chest. "I'm not asking you to do shit Jasper. What I am saying is because some jackass got me pregnant this is the last chance I have to enjoy my freedom. So forgive me if I want to spend some time with my best friend before I'm knee high in diapers and she moves across the fucking country."

She was practically screaming by the time she was done and she stomped out of the room.

We sat in silence for a minute before Edward piped up, "That went well."

I slapped round the back of his head and wiggled out of his lap. "Don't be insensitive. I'm going to go talk to her and I expect you to behave while I'm gone."

"Yes mum," he muttered, making me slap him again before going after Alice.

I found her sitting on the front porch steps, tears streaming down her cheeks. I sighed and plopped down next to her, not saying a word.

"I'm being a bitch, aren't I? Just tell it to me straight," she finally asked.

I let out a long breath. "Yes, you are indeed being a bitch. A world class bitch. The bitch of all bitchiness; in fact if you look up bitch in the dictionary, your name is under it."

She cracked a small smile and nudged me with her elbow. "I don't think they have the word 'bitch' in the dictionary."

"Fine," I said with over exacerbated annoyance, "The Urban dictionary."

She giggled slightly before falling silent for a while. "I am being selfish though...right?"

I shrugged, "Sure you are, but babe, you've had your whole future ripped from you without so much as a goodbye and you took that in stride. I think you're entitled to be a little selfish."

"So you'll come with me?" she asked hesitantly and I grinned at her.

"I wouldn't miss it for the world. I'm not going to be sitting at home while you go gallivanting through Hollywood. Bitch please, I'm gonna be right by your side. We'll go see the Hollywood Walk of Fame and take pictures of every single star. We'll go to those eighteen and over clubs and dance the night away. We'll stalk Celebrities and act like fan girls. Oh! And we'll go to Disneyland."

I was actually getting pretty excited about the trip as I talked, thinking of all the cool places we could go.

"It'll be our mini road trip. We can even make a scrapbook of everything we see so we can look back on it in like ten years. You have a Polaroid camera, right?"

She nodded vigorously, "Yeah I do. Do you want to see where we are staying?" I nodded and she whipped out her iPad and showed me pictures of the hotel. It was called the Magic Castle Hotel. It was shaped like a castle and was purple. I read through the summary quickly as it yammered on about pillow top mattresses, down duvets, and complimentary breakfasts...

"Oh look, it's close to Universal Studios and Grauman's Chinese Theatre! Are you sure we can even afford to go to this place, it looks pretty pricey?"

Alice scoffed and smirked at me, all traces of tears gone. "Bella, you know me. I have my ways and I...just might have had lunch with my dad the other day and in an effort to make it up to me he is funding the whole trip."

My mouth fell open and threw my arms around her. "Holy fucking shit, Alice! Since when are you talking to your dad?"

She shrugged, "I popped over back to my mum's place to pick up some shit and he was there arguing with her about me. It turns out that he actually cares about me and was chewing my mom out for kicking me out onto the street when I needed her most. He asked me to go to lunch with him, just to talk and I decided that I didn't want to completely alienate myself from him. I want my kid to know his grandpa. Anyway we came to a compromise of sorts and he offered to pay for this trip."

"Wow..." I was kind of speechless. "You're really starting to grow up."

She snorted, "It had to happen someday. I just hoped it wouldn't happen until after college."

She sighed heavily and I squeezed her tightly. "Everything is going to work out fine. You'll see."

I'm not sure for how long we sat out there on the front porch steps, the wind whipping around us, before we headed back inside.

I paused in the doorway, "Are you ready to go tourist on LA?" I asked her.

We shared a knowing look that said it all. This Spring Break was going to be awesome and if Alice was lucky I might just let her drive my car part of the way. Then again, maybe not.

**AN: I know you think Alice is a bit of a bitch, but all of you who have been pregnant know that you can become very irrational and your emotions go all over the place. I watched Water for Elephants this morning and damn, Rob was pretty fine in it. Anyway, review!**


	31. Road Trip

**AN: Hey! Thanks for all the great reviews guys, they made my week. ****Sorry for not updating last week, I was concentrating on my newly expanded fic 'Who's Your Papi'. Check it out if you haven't already. **Thx to dirtypillowtalk for betaing.

**Road Trip**

"I really don't understand why you're letting Alice push you into this," Edward grumbled. He had been grumbling for the last two weeks. I sighed heavily as I zipped up my suitcase and turned to him.

"Edward, we talked about this and I am getting really fed up of rehashing it. I want to go. I've never really been to California and we're going to play the tourist and hit the major sights. It's the last chance me and Alice will have to do something like this before we move and she has her baby. Who knows if ten years down the line we'll even be talking to eachother. It's a way for us to have one last hurrah to look back on before we have to take life seriously. I love you and I'm going to miss you like crazy, but it's only for two weeks."

I wrapped my arms around his neck and gave him a quick kiss, which he returned grudgingly.

"Are you going to tell me what this is really about?" I asked when I had pulled back and he let out a long breath through his nose.

"I just...We've always been together throughout our relationship and I guess I'm just worried that with time apart and being surrounded by other, younger men that you'll change your mind and wonder what you're doing with an old man like me. It's just stupid insecurities."

He rolled his eyes at himself in an effort to disguise his vulnerability and I cupped his face and forced him to look at me.

"Hey, don't dismiss your own concerns. I totally get what you're saying but even if Orlando Bloom came up to me and asked me to run off to the Caribbean with him, I would say no because I know I have a fantastic, unbelievably sweet, handsome, strong man waiting for me at home and two weeks won't change that. In fact, I'll probably jump you as soon as I see you."

I looked deep into his eyes to convey the very truth of my statement. "And who knows, maybe you'll get some time off and come down and visit."

Edward had put in a request for some time off but they hadn't gotten back to him yet so he had to sit tight until they gave him an answer.

"Maybe," he murmured as he leaned down and pressed his lips to mine. I could feel all his emotions in his kiss as he gave three slow pecks on the mouth.

_Don't forget me._

_I'll always be there for you._

_I love you._

I looked up at him, my chest suddenly feeling tight as I thought of our impending separation.

"I'll call you every night and we'll Skype, okay?"

He nodded and grasped my face in his hands, giving me a long, slow, passionate kiss. His tongue pressed against my lips and I didn't hesitate to open my mouth and accept him into it.

My own tongue moved to greet his and they massaged and swirled around each other. My hands automatically went into his hair and I pressed myself flush against him. He cupped my breast, squeezing it through the fabric of my thick, wooly cardigan and top, which I had paired with a short denim shirt and tights, legwarmers and chucks.

It was one of my comfiest outfits, so Alice would have to suck it up.

He hitched my leg up over his hips, digging his finger into the soft flesh of my thigh through my tights. I moaned as I rubbed against him and wondered if we had enough to have one more tryst before Alice demanded we leave.

As soon as that thought entered my mind, the loud honk of my Camero's horn sounded and I sighed, reluctantly pulling away from him.

"I have to go," I said quietly and he placed one last kiss on my swollen lips.

"You'll call?" he confirmed and I nodded.

"Every night?"

"Wouldn't forget for the world," I told him and he nodded, resigned, before wheeling my suitcase down the stairs and out to the car as I followed him with my bag.

I was surprised to see Jasper talking to Alice, who was leaning against the car. He pushed her hair out of her face hesitantly and whispered something to her, to which she nodded and leaned up to kiss him on the lips.

It seemed that Jasper's privileges' had extended.

He cupped her neck, tilting her head as he kissed her passionately before pulling back and leaning his forehead against hers, his hand resting protectively on her stomach. I looked away not wanting to intrude on their moment and went to join Edward who was closing the trunk.

"You'll be okay by yourself?" I asked nervously and his lip twitched up into a halfhearted smile.

"I think I'll survive somehow," he responded and pulled me into his arms, hugging me tightly. I buried my head in his chest, inhaling his scent deeply before stepping back and going to the driver's side.

"Don't bang any hot nurses while I'm gone," I warned him playfully and he rolled his eyes and let his mouth tug up into a real smile.

"I won't."

I slid into the driver's seat easily and turned my iPod player on full blast so that the screaming words of ACDC's Back in Black could be heard. Alice and I had stayed up one night and made a whole playlist for our mini road trip.

Alice and Jasper jumped apart and Alice scowled at me.

"Come on," I called out through the open window. "We're burning precious daylight here. Let's get this show on the road!"

Alice gave Jasper one last peck before sliding into the passenger seat. I started up the car, making the engine growl and shifted into gear. I drove down the drive, watching the neighbors curtains twitch as they wondered what all the noise was. I stuck my hand out the window, waving one last time to Edward before pulling out into the street and gunning it.

We sung at the top of our lungs with the windows rolled down as I maneuvered through the streets, way over the speed limit. Evil looks were given to us by passerby's but we ignored them and just sang louder.

It didn't take long for the cool March weather to calm us down and we rolled up the windows and turned the music down as we got comfortable.

Alice leaned her seat back and placed her black, heeled ankle boots on the dashboard. I didn't quite understand why she felt the need to dress up for traveling. Her floral print dress with a black, gold buttoned blazer seemed a little much for spending most of the day in the car.

"I am so fucking glad to be out of that town," she muttered, her eyes closed and her face relaxed as I hummed in agreement.

"I mean, yeah I get that I've lived there my whole life and should be used to the small town ways, but fuck, it's a bit much even for me. I've become so paranoid recently, wondering if my mom is going to spill the beans about Alec."

My brow furrowed in confusion. "Alec?"

She opened her eyes and grinned, her face glowing. "Yep, I finally named baby Brandon. I finished narrowing it down yesterday and I told Jasper just before we left."

She rubbed her stomach affectionately and I thought just how unfair it was that she was hardly even showing at over five months. I was sure that I wouldn't be that lucky.

"I told Jasper last night. He was really excited about it." She chewed on her bottom lip thinking. "I hate that I can't trust him and it kills me to see how hurt he gets when I pull away, but he has to understand how much he hurt me. You get it, right?"

"Of course"

I agreed with her, knowing that she needed some reassurance right now. "By the way you were tonguing him in the garage though, I think you trust him at least a little bit."

She blushed slightly and I raised my eyebrows because Alice doesn't blush about things like that. She was unashamed and unbothered by nearly everything.

But even I could see that she had changed a lot over the last few months, even if it was a rocky time for all of us. She was more calm and organized and she had finally let her hair fade back to its normal dark brown and grown it out so that it reached her shoulders.

Her face glowed naturally and she was less flighty, not just jumping from one thing to another anymore, but concentrating on the important things. I couldn't even remember the last time we had skipped school together.

"Yeah, well..." She brushed her hair out of her face and started fidgeting with her hands.

"He's been good to me since we got back together and while I've been hesitant to really get close to him again, he's proving himself to me. I've never really felt this loved and cherished in... forever. The relationship with my parents has been distant at best and that's probably why I latched onto you so tightly when I did. Not that I regret it or anything, but I've always felt...needy or whatever for affection and I know I can be a little overbearing and bossy-"

"Understatement," I coughed out, interrupting her, and pretended to look innocent when she gave me the stink eye. "Please carry on. It's just a little dusty in here," I encouraged, grinning.

She rolled her eyes at me, though I could see the smile twitching at her lips. "Anyway...I know that I was a bitch to you when I ignored you and shut you out and I know I already apologized, but I abused your trust and loyalty and I hereby promise to never to it again. Pinky swear!"

She waved her pinky at me and I hooked mine around hers.

"You realize that I've already forgiven you for that. It's in the past and I think when I look back, that it kind of needed to happen. I tend to rely on you too much. You always push me to do what I should know I can do and when you weren't there I had to learn to push myself and my boundaries. It really helped me to become more independent and self confident. Edward enjoyed it especially."

I couldn't help the traitorous blush that warmed my cheek and Alice grinned and me and wiggled her eyebrows suggestively. "You better start spilling. I miss hearing about all your sex exploits."

I chewed on my bottom lip nervously, "I'm not sure I should tell you. It's kind of private."

Alice scoffed at me. "Bella, women talk about sex all the time and so do men. I'm not asking you to tell me every intimate detail because let's be honest, there are things I just don't want to know." She shuddered dramatically. "But throw me a bone. I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours. Tit for tat."

"You know how you were saying that you could be overbearing..." I trailed off as she slapped me on the shoulder, huffing. I laughed at her and shook my head. "Fine. But anything I say stays just between the two of us. No telling Jasper or teasing me about it later."

She drew a cross over her hear. "Cross my heart."

"Okay then, I guess I should start off by saying that Edward and I have a good, healthy sex life and we may have started experimenting a bit."

Alice eyebrows raised and she leaned in, interested. "Spill it Cullen," she urged.

"We kind of stumbled upon it accidentally, but Edward likes to dominate me."

"Dominate you?"

I blushed and nodded, "We haven't done anything serious, just a bit of spanking and ordering around."

"Wow...kinky...and you like that?"

I shrugged, trying to play it off, "Yeah, I do. It's...sexy."

"I need to buy you a pair of handcuffs for when Edward comes down so you can have a nice reunion." She waggled her eyebrows suggestively and I laughed.

"We don't even know if he's coming down. He hasn't heard back from work," I said, even though my mind was drifting off to all the possibilities.

"Have a little faith, Bella. He'd go to the moon and back before he gave up trying." She looked kind of wistful as I nodded slowly, knowing that she was right.

"What about you and Jasper?" I asked after a moment of silence.

A grin spread across her face. "Well, back when we were actually having sex, it was...there aren't adequate words to describe it. I mean, he isn't exactly a suave, smooth kind of guy in bed and he can fumble and be nervous, but once he's inside me, it all kind of disappears. It's like none of the shit around me matters as long as I'm in his arms."

I was surprised at how gooey she had become while talking about Jasper. The thick skinned girl I knew seemed to melt at the mere thought of him and I understood better how he was able to get under her defenses.

It seemed he somehow got her to let her guard down and stop thinking for a minute - something I had given up trying to do a long time ago.

"Anyway," she murmured, "the sex was good but we never delved into the kink. I bet Jasper would look good in leather though." She seemed to drift off into her thoughts after that and I was content to just concentrate on driving.

"Don't forget you're my map reader," I reminded her and she rolled her eyes.

"Don't worry so much. I know exactly where we are," she stated confidently but if I knew her then that confidence was not fool proof and knowing our luck we'd end up lost and in Illinois before she realized we were lost.

**AN: I know, I know, it's so short, but I had so much trouble writing this out that I just had to end it quickly so I could move on. Review!**


	32. California

**AN: Thanks for the reviews! It took me forever to finish this chapter so I hope you like it.**

**Disclaimer: I would like to state that this is fiction and I know nothing about yoga or anything else like that. I just read something and it intrigued me enough to stick it in. I don't own the technique or anything else.**

California

"Asian Mike Newton," Alice called out, pointing to an Asian Mike look-a-like.

I raised my eyebrows. "Geesh, that is almost scary," I muttered, before swatting Alice's still outstretched hand down. "Stop pointing. You'll give him the wrong idea."

She snorted and we went back to people watching.

We were on the beach, lying on our towels in the shade of a huge umbrella. We had spent the first few days here in California getting acclimated to the area. The weather was warmer than what I had expected for March, but it was a nice change from the constant overcast weather we got in Washington.

We had gone to Universal Studios and taken pictures of the Hollywood walk of fame. Our nights were spent mostly watching movies and pigging out with the room service.

Today, we had decided to forgo the tourism and gone down the beach, just to enjoy the sun and the water.

"Umpa Lumpa's at three o'clock," I called out, spotting two completely orange girls in orange bikini's.

"Good Lord!" Alice exclaimed, once she had finally worked out just where 'three o'clock' was. "I can't believe that people think that looks good." She shook her head disapprovingly before taking out the newest copy of _Harpers Bazaar_ so that she could catch up with the new trends coming out.

Not that she needed it since she looked like she had just walked off the pages of the magazine in her floaty, nude colored v-necked tank top with little pink shorts that matched with her floral print, frilly little bikini. She made me look like a tomboy in my jean shorts and blue and white stripped, looses, thin tank top with a matching blue bikini underneath it.

It made me see just how different we were sometimes. Half the time I really didn't give a fuck about how I looked but Alice hardly left the house without being fully decked in makeup and heels.

I lay back, a towel bunched up behind my head as I picked up my copy of Oliver Twist. It was a first edition that Carlisle and Esme had given me a few months before they died and I cherished it.

I had missed Edward more than I was willing to admit since I had left, but we talked over the phone and skyped every night. My skin flushed slightly as I remembered our first Skype date.

_"How do you want to do this?" I asked nervously. He stared back at me through the screen, completely relaxed as he leaned back, naked, against the headboard in our room._

_"Well, we could start with you taking off your clothes," he suggested gently. I nodded absently, wondering why I was nervous, but secretly knowing that the reason lay with the fact that I would be touching myself while he watched me._

_Sure, I had masturbated before, but never with an audience._

_Was it possible not to like someone's masturbating technique?_

_It made me self conscious, knowing that he would be seeing that without me being thoroughly distracted._

_"God, I don't understand why I'm so nervous," I murmured as I fingered the edge of my robe. Alice had gone down to the pool, knowing that I intended to Skype Edward and needed privacy._

_I was completely alone and Edward and seen me naked loads of times. There really wasn't a reason to be nervous._

_"We don't have to do this, you know?" he told me but I waved him off, thinking deeply about how to calm my nerves._

_An idea came to me, one that sent a whole new load of nerves into me at the same time as expelling the old ones._

_"I have an idea. Stay put." I dashed over to my Ipod player and switched on Everlasting Light by The Black Keys before bouncing back onto the bed. I closed my eyes as the bass and drums started, slowly starting to sway my hips as I let my robe, revealing the lilac camisole and matching panties I was wearing underneath._

_My body moved on its own accord along with the music as the lead singer started crooning out lyrics and I ran a hand through my hair, lifting it up before letting it drop around me._

_Everything seemed to disappear as I focused on the music. All my nerves evaporated and it was just me and the music. I fingered the edge of my camisole with my free hand, letting it dip underneath it and slowly dragged it up my stomach._

_My body continued gyrating along with the music as I tugged the camisole up, revealing more and more skin as I pulled it over my head to reveal my bare breasts._

_I swear I heard him suck in a sharp breath as I cupped my breasts with both hands, kneading the flesh gently and arching my back. I raised a finger to my mouth, sucking on it for a second before swirling it around my nipple, wetting the quickly hardening flesh._

_I rubbed, pinched and plucked at them, imagining it was Edward's hands doing it, not my own._

_"Uhhh Edward," I groaned, sliding one hand down my stomach._

_"God baby, are you imagining that its me doing it to you?"_

_I nodded, my teeth embedded in my bottom lip as my hand dipped into the waistband of my panties, teasing the lips of my slick folds. A whimper escaped me and I tugged my panties down, parting my knees so that he could see just how wet I was._

_I spread my fold open, teasing him with my pink, swollen pussy as I rubbed my clit, my hips still moving with the beat._

_I moved back, sitting down with my legs wide, my head thrown back, and my hand still kneading my breast. I could almost picture Edward, behind my closed eyelids, leaning over me, his hot breath fanning over my neck as he touched me._

_"What am I doing to you?" he asked, his breathing uneven as he watched me dip two fingers inside my entrance. I let my eyelids flicker open long enough to see his fingers wrapped around his erection as he pumped _

_"You're...hmmm...you're sliding in and out of me." I licked my lips, moistening them as I continued talking. "You're so big and thick inside of me, Edward," I murmured, adding another finger as I felt my juices drip onto them._

_"Yeah? Am I filling you up, baby? Is my rock, hard cock pounding into that sweet pussy of yours? Tell me, baby. Tell me how it feels."_

_A small mewl exited my lips and my hips bucked up. "It feels so good. I can feel you all over me. Running your hands over my body while you thrust into me. I'm clenched around you, my walls squeezing you as I get closer."_

_He groaned loudly. "You feel so good wrapped around me baby. It's so tight and hot inside you. I won't be able to last long." He pumped himself quicker, his hand twisting and pulling at his reddened flesh. _

_I sped up my own fingers to match his rhythm as my thighs started quivering._

_"I'm so close," I whimpered, watching his glistening cock as I palmed my breast enthusiastically._

_"Cum for me," he ordered, his voice low and my walls spasmed around my fingers._

_"Edward..." I moaned as my body arched forward, gasps and whimpers leaving me as I came. I could hear him curse as his own orgasm exploded. I sunk back into the bed feeling sweaty and happy once I had come down from my high._

_Edward grinned at me through the screen as he cleaned his cum off his stomach with a towel._

_"That was fun," AHe supplied, and I couldn't help but laugh._

_"Yeah it was..._

My thoughts were suddenly cut off as sand flew all over me and Alice. Alice shrieked, most likely pissed about her ruined outfit, and pulled up her huge sunglasses to eyeball the idiot who had done it.

A sandy colored, all American boy stood there looking unapologetic, holding a football.

"Hi, I'm Alec." He exuded cockiness and arrogance from every pore in his body as he grinned, showing off the dimples that must be his tool to getting girls.

I finished brushing sand off me and turned back to my book, knowing that Alice would deal with him.

"And I am so not interested," Alice retorted, picking up her magazine and flicking a page over.

"What about your friend?" he asked, like I wasn't right here.

"Okay, listen here buddy," Alice sneered, obviously dropping the 'passive-aggressive' route and just going full on aggressive. "Neither me nor my friend have any intentions of blowing you or fucking you in any capacity. In fact, the very thought disgusts me. So you run along and find some dumb bimbo who will willingly spread her legs for you elsewhere. You get me?"

It was silent for a minute and I peered over my book to see that his smile had faltered slightly. He crossed his arms over his chest as he looked between the two of us.

"So, you guys are lesbians? That's cool. We can still hang out."

Oh for fuck's sake!

"Fuck off, will you?" I snapped and he turned his attention sorely on me.

"So she can speak. Don't tell me you don't want a little piece of this." He gestured to himself, the cocky grin on his face telling me that he obviously thought he was God's gift to man.

"Actually I can because I have a boyfriend that looks so much better than you and has more than a twig for a cock."

Even Alice looked shocked by my outburst. Even I wasn't so sure where it came from, all I knew was that I was fed up of being hit on just because I had a pussy by guys who thought they were 'smooth.'

Alec frowned, "I'm nine inches, bitch," he snarled and I snorted.

"Sure you are. I bet that's what you tell all the girls before you get them drunk enough to not be able to tell the difference. My real question is: do you know how to use it? Because my boyfriend can give me multiple orgasms with his, so until you can beat that, fuck off."

He sneered at me hatefully before turning and stomping off.

"Wow. Bitch Bella rears her ugly head," Alice murmured, "so...multiple orgasms, huh?"

I shrugged and let a smirk curl up on my lips as I blushed, "He's a doctor and an overachiever. Do the math?"

"Huh, maybe he can give some pointers to Jasper. He has a hard time giving me one orgasm let alone multiples." She seemed slightly disgruntled by this, but it was probably because she was horny and wasn't having sex at all.

"Yeah, we used to have that problem until he persuaded me to touch myself while he was in me. Most women need extra stimulation to cum. It isn't as easy for women than it is for men to cum. Its simple science."

She rolled her eyes, "And you call Edward a geek. You just as bad as each other with your facts and know it all attitude." She pouted, showing that she wasn't serious.

"Oh, you're just jealous because you aren't getting any," I teased and she gasped in mock shock.

"You just had to go there, didn't you?" she asked and I laughed loudly.

"You opened yourself up for it. I just took the bait."

She harumphed, "Whatever, we should go out tonight. I fed up of just lying around when there is a whole night life waiting to be discovered."

I looked at her disapprovingly and she rolled her eyes, knowing that I was thinking without saying it.

"Calm down goody goody two shoes. I'm pregnant so I can't drink and your eighteen and too responsible for your own good. We don't need to go to a bar and drink alcohol to have a good time."

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how I ended up on the beach at half five for some sort of sunset yoga session.

Alice had been pretty psyched when she saw the leaflet and had insisted that it was the perfect, relaxing evening. Knowing I wouldn't hear the end of it, I had agreed and we had dressed in leggings with sports bras and baggy sweaters over them incase we got cold later and headed down. I was surprised at how many people came, but I guess in California loads of people like this kind of stuff. I just hoped that I wouldn't have to twist my body in painful, embarrassing positions.

"Hello, my name is James and I will be your instructor tonight," the blonde man with his hair slicked back into a ponytail. He looked like a tree hugger with his brown leather sandals and linen pants.

"Its nice to see so many faces here among us," he said brightly. "Tonight, we are going to do something a little different from usual. Tonight's lesson will be about the art of tapping into our inner sensuality and bringing it out. What do you know about tantric sex?"

My eyes widened with his words and I made a mental note to kill Alice at the next possible moment. I cannot believe she would sign me up for something like this.

A lady in the front raised her hand and James nodded at her to speak.

"Something to do with the Kama Sutra, right? About reaching an enlightened state and not to forget multiple orgasms through some transient, hour long ritualistic sex act thing."

His grin spoke volumes as he nodded, "Something like that. I would like to start off by saying that I don't doubt that sex means something different for everyone, but in the end it usually boils down to this – ten to twenty minutes of egotistical race for release. Everything happens for a reason, and that is achieving orgasm. Even when you are all attentive to your partner's needs, you do it so they get off so you in turn don't have to feel bad for reaching your own climax. I know there is love and emotions and all that involved, too, but if you're really honest, it's always about gaining satisfaction fast at the risk of utter frustration. When you don't perform as expected, you feel like you've failed your partner. You must have done something wrong that he doesn't get off, or you must not be responding the right way when you just can't reach your orgasm for whatever reason. It's about power, it's about winning, and while I don't deny the heady rush that comes with finishing, it more often than not leaves you strung out and empty. There is no intimacy about this supposedly most intimate act there is. So why even do it?"

I didn't really agree with what he was saying, but I understood what he was talking about to a certain extent. I had never been left unsatisfied, whether I came or not. I was realistic and while, yeah, sometimes I was disappointed, I knew that Edward had enjoyed it so much he hadn't been able to hold out like he usually did.

"Do you feel comfortable sitting Indian style?"

His question seemed rather abrupt since I was still mulling over his words, but I quickly shifted, crossing my legs over and got comfortable on my towel. After a few mumbled yes's while everyone got into the position, he walked among people, nudging them into straighter positions, until their spines were aligned properly.

Once he was satisfied that we sitting properly he moved to the front and sat on a little platform, mirroring us.

"Good. Now I want you put your hands on your knees and relax. Close your eyes and take deep, calm breaths. Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out."

His voice changed a little as he went on with his instructions becoming gentle and soothing.

"Now concentrate on your body. The way your chest keeps expanding when you inhale, and decompresses when you let the air rush out of your lungs again. Feel how the skin on your arms is slightly cooler where it is not covered by clothing, how the muscles of your lower back are the only thing not relaxed as you need them to keep sitting upright."

I let my mind wander, trying to feel exactly what he was talking about.

"Slide your hands over your thighs and over your ribs slowly. Imagine its your lover touching you gently, caressing you. Now retrace your steps and make the circuit three times." I could feel my breaths getting shallower as I imaging Edward behind me, running his hands over in such an innocently erotic way.

"Make sure your that breathing is still relaxed. It doesn't help anyone if you're hyperventilating," he said a hint of laughter in his voice, knowing that some of us had our minds in the gutter. There was a few nervous laughs and I let my lips twitch up slightly before going back to concentrating on my breathing.

It was obvious that James knew what he was doing, being able to make my breath catch in my throat with only the ghost of the touch from my non-existent partner, igniting a strange kind of _something_ inside my stomach that was not quite arousal alone but tinged heavily with expectation.

I made me long for Edward's _real_ presence, not just the weak conjuring my mind was doing. I pushed that thought to the back of my mind and concentrated on the here and now.

I was feeling ridiculously calm as I ran my hands over myself soothingly, despite the goosebumps and the fact that my skin tingled wherever I touched it.

"Can you feel that?" he asked quietly, "Can you feel how your body is reacting, how self aware you're becoming?"

I felt myself nodding, even with my eyes closed because he was right. I was noticing parts of me that I usually didn't. I was even noticing the little things around me, like the coarse material of my towel under me, and the elastic of my sports bra digging into my chest as the breeze gently brushed over my skin, making my nipples pebble.

"Good. Just keep focusing and try to take slow, measured breaths."

I could feel my skin getting flushed and even though I wasn't really doing anything other than running my hands over my thighs and ribs, my mind only felt Edward's touch, not my own.

"How do you feel now?" he asked softly and I shivered against the wind as the hairs on my arms stood on end. I was a little embarrassed - but a lot less so than I had expected - to find myself fully aroused. I had never felt quite like this, and I still had my clothes on. It was insane, but I didn't feel like arguing about its efficiency, at all.

He continued talking, most likely knowing what everyone was unwilling to admit. "The essence of tantric sex is about using the sexual energy inside of us. Live in the here and now, harness what you feel rather than striving for satisfaction in a way that inevitably leads to frustration. Ideally, there's no beginning and no end to what you feel, it's a part of you and always surrounds you."

"Doesn't that leave you with massive blue balls all the time?" Some middle aged man in the middle asked.

James laughed. "Sometimes. But it's not about keeping yourself suspended in a sort of aroused limbo for indefinite times. When you feel like it, you can reach out and achieve satisfaction. Maybe I can explain a little better with a quick example."

"I'm sure that when you leave here, the memory of your 'ghost's' touch will linger in your mind, but also your body. Tomorrow morning you will wake up and feel the sheets rub softly against your skin. You will get up, and when you shower, your hands will inevitably re-trace the paths your 'ghost's' have traveled. Without even pleasuring yourself you will feel that same sensual heat spread through your body, you will feel good, relaxed, and aroused. Maybe you decide then that you want more, and while one of your hands keeps caressing your skin almost innocently, the other will find its way to your sex. You will come fast because you're already keyed up, and it will be a sweet release that feels like the cresting of the waves in the ocean that is the sensuality you feel. Your climax will ebb away, but when you towel yourself dry, when you dress again, you will still feel the heat linger, and whatever you touch, even the softest gust of wind caressing your skin will further that feeling. Whenever you have a moment of time you can spend without focusing on anything else, you will tap into that energy again, even if you don't spend the whole day giving yourself one orgasm after the other. Do you think you will be frustrated? Or rather pleasantly content?"

"Content." I took me a minute to realize that it had been me who had spoken.

James smiled appreciatively at me. "Exactly. Sex should now have a new meaning to all of you. It's not all about racing to the finish line. Pace yourself, take your time with it and you'll reach the finish with both you, and your partner, feeling satisfied and content. Isn't that what we all want?"

After some murmuring of agreement, he stood up and clapped his hands, effectively breaking the trance I hadn't been able to fully shake off.

"That's it for tonight, but please, come again and tell your friends about it. This is all completely free, no charge is necessary, but if you would like to donate some money towards some of the work I'm doing, please don't hesitate in doing so."

As everyone picked up their mats and towels, lingering to give donations before leaving. I hung back until everyone had gone before approaching him.

"Where did you learn all this stuff?" I asked in slight awe.

He smiled warmly, "I did some traveling with my partner Laurent in Asia a few years back. The monks and priests have a lot of insight in harnessing our inner selves and gaining purity. If we truly want to make a difference in the world, we have to start with ourselves and then we can branch out. I did a lot of studying in politics before I found my true calling and some of the things they let happen are just bringing us closer to destruction. Like the whole BP debacle and the blood diamonds in Africa. The government turn their backs on such important issues and we try to bring these matters to light. If the public care then the government is forced to take action."

I ate up his words and suddenly felt like a naive little girl compared this man.

"So you have some kind of group, right?" I asked and he nodded.

"Yes, we send people all over the world to help give such simple things as water and food to people living in poverty. We even have photographers and journalists on our staff, writing about what they see. It's a dangerous job and we've lost good people to Guerillas and even the government snatches our people. Our leaders don't want the truth to come to light. They want everyone to believe that they live in a safe little bubble where no one can touch them, but even as we speak bombs are being created to kill us."

You could tell that he was very passionate about what he was speaking about and I felt my heart tug, thinking about all the issues that were swept neatly under the rug.

"Wow, I never knew it was so bad. My boyfriend is a doctor and I know he wants to help out oversees one day. Maybe I could get your card or something and show it to him, I'm sure he would be really interested in what you have to say."

He beamed, obviously pleased that I was so interested and dug a little card out of his satchel.

"A Nomadic Experience," I said outlaid, reading the card.

"Yes, when you're out in the field, phone calls and e-mails are practically non-existent. You can become very detached from normal society, but helping others is really worth it. I never got your name..."

"Oh, its Isabella, but I prefer Bella."

"Well, its been good talking to you, but my husband is waiting for me," he said and I got the hint that it was time to take my leave.

I turned to see a tall, handsome, olive-skinned man with dark hair, wearing a suit, and I wondered how such opposites had attracted. James was handsome, but in the more rugged 'tree hugger' kind of way, while Laurent seemed like a neat and organized 'I love my office' kind of guy.

I walked hurriedly up the beach to where Alice was leaning against the car with a slight spring in my step, feeling a lot more free than I had before.

"This night was actually really good," I told Alice who just grunted, most likely because she knew that as soon as I got to the hotel I would be straight on the phone with Edward and I doubted that we would get much talking done.

I was really starting to love this trip!

**AN: If environmental Issues interest you them you should read _Scintilla_ by GothicTemptress. http:/www(.)fanfiction(.)net/s/6753988/1/. Don't forget to review!**


	33. Reunions

**AN: Sorry for not posting on Friday. I'm in the midst of moving house and it slipped my mind. Thanks for all the great reviews! There is a kinky lemon at the end of this chapter since you guys were insistent that Edward get there pronto.**

Reunions

I shifted uncomfortably, trying to pull small bottoms of bikini up and stuff my breasts further into the top. "Tell me again why I let you pack and shop for me?" I grumbled, wondering why she got the ones that fully covered her ass while mine were held together by little bits of string. She pulled up her sunglasses and trailed her eyes over me.

"What exactly is wrong with it?" She asked. We were sunbathing by the pool at our hotel, relaxing after busy week.

"Well, for one, it hardly covers what its meant to cover, " I pointed out, feeling rather disgruntled.

She rolled her eyes at me. "You are exaggerating. Your nonexistent virtue is safe and I'm sure Edward would agree with me when I say that you look hot," she told me, brushing of my concerns, "and thinking of Edward, he's standing over there, looking a little bit lost."

I shot up in my seat. "What?" My eyes darted around the pool until they landed on 6.2' figure of my ripped jean and worn t-shirted boyfriend.

"How-when-heeeh?"

Alice laughed, "He called me this morning, saying that he got a few days off at the last minute and he was coming down to surprise you..." her voice trailed off as Jasper appeared from behind him. "Oh my god, Jasper!" she squealed, gaining the attention of everyone in the five mile radius, even dogs.

Edward and Jasper both turned our way and started walking toward us. I scrambled up as my mind fully comprehended the fact that Edward was really here, in the flesh, coming right towards me.

I barely gave him enough time to smile once he reached me as I jumped up, wrapping my arms and legs around him tightly. He stumbled back slightly, surprised by my sudden exuberance, but managed to gain his footing. I smashed my lips to his, not even giving him the chance to say hello. It didn't even matter in that moment. All that mattered was that he was here.

He groaned as our lips molded together frantically, the whole world disappearing around us. It didn't matter that other people were most likely watching us, or that Edward's lips were chapped and dry, or that his stubble was scraping against me skin, not one bit of it mattered.

Our kisses eventually slowed down and he pulled back, a lopsided, goofy grin on his face. "Hi," he murmured and I laughed quietly. I had really missed him and having him right in front of me made it all hit home. I rubbed the skin over my heart absently, noticing the absence of the ache that had been bothering me.

He kissed my nose and I wrinkled it. "You're all freckly," he commented and I pulled a face. It was one of the things I hated about being in the sun. In order for me to get a tan, my freckles had to come out. My nose and shoulders were now dotted with them.

"You can put me down now," I told him, realizing that we were the center of attention as people stared at us with interest.

He shook his head, "No way. I only just got you back. You're not leaving my arms for a few hours. Infact, I have the right mind to give you a proper hello up in my hotel room."

I licked my suddenly dry lips, "I might just have to agree with you there, Dr. Cullen."

He turned to walk into the hotel, but I stopped him, "Wait! I need my bag."

Edward rolled his eyes and turned to where Jasper was full on making out with Alice on a lounger. Edward managed to balance me on his hip as he bent down and picked up my bag. He handed it to me before striding purposeful into the hotel.

We got a few strange looks, but I just nuzzled his neck, content to re familiarize myself with his scent. He stepped into the elevator with an old couple who looked rather amused by our position.

"Have I told you that I love you yet?" he asked, peppering kisses along my neck.

"Hmmm, I don't think you have," I responded contentedly.

"Well, I love you, Miss Cullen."

"And I love you, Dr. Cullen."

The elevator pinged, signaling that we had reached our floor. Edward stepped out and wasted no time in locating his hotel room. He slid the key card in the door easily and opened the door.

I noticed some of Jasper's things lying around before zero'ing on the king size beg.

"I know you and Jasper were getting along, but I didn't realize that you were getting this close," I teased.

He chuckled, letting me slide down his body but not letting out of his arms. "We decided to just get one room since we knew you and Alice were sharing one. That way you can just move your stuff in here and Jasper can move in with Alice."

"I like the way you think," I purred, threading my hands through his hair and tugging his head down so that our lips could meet. His hands trailed to my hips and pulled me flush against him. He pulled my bottom lip into his mouth and sucked on it gently. I moaned softly in his mouth and tilted his head to the side so that I could deepen the kiss.

My tongue slipped past his parted lips and he thrust his own forward so that they stroked along each other as we started to stumble backwards to the bed.

His hands raked through my hair before slipping to the strings of my bikini around my neck. He yanked on them impatiently, letting it fall down, revealing my sun kissed breasts.

He undid the other string at my back so that it fell to the floor before lifting me up and placing me on the bed.

I pushed through the haze of lust that surrounded me long enough to roll over to the edge of the bed and dig through my bag for the pink, fluffy handcuffs that Alice had gotten me as a gag gift after our little chat on the drive over.

"Why don't we make this special?" I asked, my eyes bright and my skin flushed.

His pupils dilated as he looked at me through hooded eyes. "Fuck yeah," he growled, yanking off his t shirt and pulling his jeans off before crawling up the bed to me. He pushed me so that I was lying on my back and pulled my arms above my head. He took the handcuffs off me and rested back on his haunches, fingering them almost reverently.

"You're sure about this?" he clarified and I nodded.

"And you have the key?"

I nodded again and that seemed to pacify him because he leaned over me and cuffed my wrists to the headboard. He sat back, devouring me with his eyes as he wiped a hand over his mouth, wiping away non existent drool.

"Fuck, you look good when you're at my mercy," he drawled and I squirmed, wanting him to touch me. He leaned down so that he was hovering over me and captured my lips harshly, wasting no time in dominating my mouth.

His hands ran up and down my sides as his tongue plundered my mouth. It was like he was a thirsty man and I was the last drop of water.

I bucked my hips up, rubbing against the front of his boxers where there was a prominent bulge. He groaned and started placing wet kisses down my neck, past my collarbone until he reached my breasts.

He sucked and licked one while palming the other and I arched into him, powerless to do anything but whimper and close my eyes. He moved his kisses down further, dipping his tongue into my belly button and swirling it around, making the fire inside of me curl and burn furiously.

He teased me mercilessly as he licked a trail down across my pelvis, stopping when he hit the bottoms on my bikini.

"This has to go," he murmured, more to himself than to me.

He dug his teeth in the fabric, pulling it away from my skin as he looked up at me from under his long eyelashes. He dragged my bikini bottoms down achingly slow, all the while looking me dead in the eye.

Once he had gotten rid of them, he spread my legs wide, his eyes hungry as they took in the glistening, pink flesh of my pussy. He ran his nose along my calf, stopping at my knee to suck the skin behind it just where he knew made me moan loudly.

He inhaled deeply when he reached my inner thighs, drawing in the smell of my arousal. He licked his lips, "I've missed this," he murmured, spreading my sensitive lips apart and burying his face between my thighs.

His lips and tongue worked my flesh enthusiastically, sucking and licking me like he hadn't done it in months, not just a week. I tugged against the handcuffs, wanting to burry my hands in his hair like I usually did.

I squirmed as small gasps and moans left me and he placed a hand firmly on my pelvis, helping to keep me still as I ground my pussy against his face. He hummed against my flesh, sending shivers straight down my spine before snaking a hand between my legs and circling my entrance with it.

His tongue lapped at my clit, flicking over it, as he pressed a finger into me. I mewled in pleasure and closed my eyes as I just lay back and enjoyed his ministrations. It didn't take long for me to cum all over his face, my thighs quivering as I moaned out his name.

He pulled back slightly, looking up at me from between my legs.

He licked his lips, tasting some of my excess juices that was on them, before crawling up my body. "I want you to taste yourself on me," he murmured and kissed me deeply.

I moaned, sucking on his tongue and his bottom lip, indulging him in his want. When he finally pulled away so that we could breath, he leaned back, his eyes dancing over my body, trying to decide what to do next. He looked like a kid in a candy store. There was too many things for him to decide where to start.

He pulled his boxers off and wrapped his hand around his cock, pumping it lightly as his gaze continued wandering over me.

"What do you want to do to me?" I urged and he pulled his bottom lip into his mouth as he looked at from under his hooded eyes.

"I want to fuck your breasts," he blurted out. My mouth fell open because honestly, I had not been expecting_ that_ to come out of his mouth.

He must have realized what he said because he immediately started backtracking. "I mean...I wouldn't do it without your permission and I'm sure you probably don't want me to do that. I mean its-"

"Edward..." I interrupted him and he looked down at me sheepishly.

My lips twitched up in amusement at his rambling. "You can if you want to."

His eyes widened almost comically and he looked at me in shock. "You'd let me..." He trailed off, his tone incredulous, like he expected me to tell him no.

I nodded and tried - rather unsuccessfully - to shrug. "I don't see why not." I looked down at my breasts. "But I'm not sure there's much to fuck though."

He chuckled and slid off the bed to dig through his bag. "Don't worry baby, your breasts are just perfect."

He pulled out some lube and climbed back onto the bed. He must have seen my look of confusion as I wondered if he expected something like this to happen, we'd never had to use it before.

"I wasn't sure how busy you and Alice would be this week," he stated sheepishly and I raised my eyebrows, but didn't comment.

He straddled my chest, squirting lube into his palm, and fisted his cock. He spread lube all over himself, making himself slick before he placed his hot, rigid flesh between my breasts. I squirmed as his still lubed hands pressed my breasts together around him gently, but insistently. I could feel myself getting turned on as he thrust forward experimentally, all the while gauging my reaction.

I looked up at him, my lips parted and swollen, lust shining through my eyes as I nodded, giving him the go ahead.

His eyes fell closed as he found a rhythm that suited him and I took the time that I would have normally used to touch and caress his skin, to run my eyes over his lean body that I had been deprived of for the last week. The pale, taut, muscles of his stomach clenched and unclenched reflexively as a trickle of sweat dripped down between abs. His fingers flexed around my breasts, pressing them closer together each time his hips thrust forwards.

His face was a serene mask of pleasure, his brows drawn together in concentration and his lips parted slightly. His strong thighs rested against my sides, squeezing me under him as he rocked back and forth, his cock gliding between my breasts. I couldn't stop my tongue from flicking out as his cock peeked out from the cavern he had made with my breasts, the swollen tip almost purple as it leaked.

He groaned loudly as my tongue swiped over the head, lapping at his pre-cum, wishing I had my hands and arms so that I could grasp him and slide him deep into my mouth.

I could feel wetness gathering in my pussy, the feel of him using my body for his own, selfish pleasure while I was tied to the bed turning me on more than I thought it would.

"I'm close," he panted, his chest heaving with shallow breaths. I readied myself to have him cum all over me, but instead his hands left my breasts and he moved off me. I frowned, wondering what he was doing until he kneeled between my legs. He grasped onto my hips, lifting them up and sliding my lower half into his lap. Our eyes connected and everything seemed to slow down for a brief moment before he guided himself into me, pushing into me achingly slow.

I tugged against the handcuffs, starting to get frustrated at not being able to touch him or move my body the way I wanted to. I was restricted, only receiving what he would give me.

He hooked my legs over his hips and I wrapped them tightly around his waist. He started moving within me, starting out slow and measured pace. I bucked my hips against his, my teeth gritted together as harsh breaths left my lips. My hair stuck to my forehead and I could feel surges of heat running through me as I shifted closer to my second release.

He quickened his movements until he was slamming into me with hardly any time between thrusts. I moaned his name loudly as his fingers grasped onto my hips, the nails digging into my skin hard enough to bruise.

He didn't slow or stop his thrusts as he shifted his position so that he was hovering over me, his body covering mine. He placed an arm next to me as my legs started to loose purchase and slid down to his ass. I tightened the grip of my legs, crossing my ankles as the heels dug into his ass.

He ran his tongue over his lips, moistening them, as he lowered his mouth to my ear.

"Do you realize just how incredible you look handcuffed to the bed, naked and sweating as you clench that sweet pussy around me?" He asked, his hot breath washing over the side of my face. I shivered and let out a pitiful whimper as I arched my chest into his, the sweat making the hard, swollen tips of my breasts slide along his chest easily.

He ran his nose along my jaw, teasing my skin the heat of his breath. "I'm so close and I don't think I can wait," he murmured before reaching up and pressing his lips to mine passionately. He prised my lips open with his own and dipped his tongue into caverns of my mouth.

He ran a hand down between us, reaching between the fold of my pussy and rubbing my clit. I gasped into his mouth and clenched down around him as a wave of pleasure rolled over me. He groaned loudly, throbbing and twitching inside me as his orgasm started to take over.

He kept on thrusting, wanting me to experience the same euphoria that he was. I writhed underneath him, twisting my body as much as I could while restricted.

My fingers clenched and unclenched, begging me to have them released as my hips bucked up into his one last time and I let go. I moaned and whimpered as I came, his name passing through my lips more often than not as he collapsed on top of me.

The nerves in my body tingled as I slowly came back down, my arms stiff and my body sated. He groaned weakly against my breasts as he pulled himself off me and rolled over onto his back.

"Where's the key for it?" he asked breathlessly.

"My bag," I told him and he got off the bed and started riffling through my bag. He found it and unlocked the handcuffs. I sighed, happy to have use of my hands again and rubbed the sore skin of my wrists.

Edward frowned and took my hands in his, taking over the rubbing, obviously feeling guilty about it.

"Why do I smell like strawberries?" I asked to try and distract him.

He looked up at me. "I use strawberry scented, edible lube."

"How often do you masturbate?" I asked cautiously, my insecurities climbing to the surface as I wondered if the sex we had wasn't enough for him. We had it often, nearly every day, but he seemed to be closely aquatinted with his lube.

"Are you seriously asking me that?" He asked, his eyebrows raised. I nodded, my teeth digging into my bottom lip as I waited for his answer.

He sighed and shrugged. "I generally don't have to. I mean, with the amount of sex we have, there isn't really a need for it."

He paused for minute, his skin flushing slightly, before muttering, "I can't believe I'm telling you this, but masturbating makes me calm and, yeah, when you're on your period I jerk off all the time. I'm a guy and its normal for me to do it. I wake up hard every morning and sometimes I don't want to disturb you and I masturbate then. I don't do it that often, but yes, I guess you could say I masturbate a reasonable amount for a guy having regular sex."

I mulled that over, feeling relieved that it had nothing to do with me and an inability for me to please him. "Okay. I was just curious," I told him and he just shook his head and leaned back against the headboard before pulling me into his arms.

"Me masturbating has nothing to do with you, Bella. You please me in every way."

It was nice how he recognised my insecurities and was quick to tell me that they weren't true. "I know," I said simply before something came to mind.

"You said you did it sometimes in the morning when you didn't want to disturb me. Do you do it in bed, while I'm right there?"

The tips of his ears turned pink and my mouth fell open as he didn't answer. His silence told me all that I needed to know.

"Oh my god! You've been perving on me while I was asleep." I turned around so that I was straddling his legs, trying to hide the fact that it turned me on slightly, thinking of him stroking himself while he eyes ran over my sleeping, naked body.

"You, Dr. Cullen, are a dirty voyeur," I purred, picking up the handcuffs from where he had carelessly thrown them on the bed. "I think you need to be punished."

I raised my eyebrows at him and his eyes darkened. "I guess I do," he murmured.

**AN: Don't hate me for leaving it there. These characters are picky about what they will and won't give me. Review!**


	34. Built In A Day

**AN: Thanks for all the reviews! I know you guys wanted Edward's punishment and I might post that as an outtake later, but I was a little strapped for time, what with moving house this week. I'm not sure when I will be able to update again, but hopefully, it should only be a week or two.**

Built In A Day

"Explain to me again why I got up at the ass crack of dawn to do this?" Alice whined as we straddled surf boards in the ocean. Edward and Jasper had been adamant about taking some lessons while they were down here, and while I had to agree that getting up a little later would have been nice - especially after passing out, naked, in bed with Edward only four hours ago - I was actually enjoying myself.

We had already spent an hour on the beach going over instructions with the instructor before he even let us get in the water, but I had to say that there was something so calming about sitting in the ocean, a light breeze brushing by as the sun danced across the water. The saltwater clung to my hair as I inhaled fresh, unpolluted air and it was like being one with nature.

It made really see just how small I was in this world and how lucky I was that the Big Guy upstairs had decided to cut me slack and give me the one thing I wanted.

Water sloshed gently against the board and I felt calm and relaxed. I was starting to realise just how much I had needed to leave Washington for a while and just be me. I would have to find a way to thank Alice later.

My eyes drifted to Edward and I couldn't help the internal groan that escaped me. On a normal day Edward looked good, but put him in board shorts that rested low on his hips with water dripping down his chest and he was sex personified. The things I was going to do to that man once we were alone...

"Alright guys," the instructor said, regaining my attention. "I'm only going to go over the basics I taught you on land today, but if you come back tomorrow, we'll go onto the more advanced things, and, who knows, maybe by the end of the week you'll be able to catch a wave."

I had never quite realised how complicated surfing was. Yes, I had seen the way surfer's twisted and aligned their bodies perfectly and I had seen how wrong things could go, but doing it yourself was a whole different story.

Just sitting upright on the board was a torturous exercise in balance - something that I lacked - let alone trying to paddle while lying on the board. The poor instructor ended up spending most of his time trying to keep me on the board than helping the others, something that I noticed annoyed Edward.

I arched an eyebrow at him once he had finished eyeballing the instructor's hand, which he had placed minutely on my hip so that I wouldn't go careening back into the water.

Edward just held my gaze steadily for a second before shrugging, silently telling me that he couldn't help it. I rolled my eyes, deciding I would let it go. It wasn't like I wouldn't have done the same thing in his position.

By the time the lesson was over, every muscle ached and burned. Never was I more thankful that I had lathered myself with a such a thick layer of waterproof sun cream to stop my skin from burning. Sadly, it hadn't stopped the freckles that continued erupting on my skin.

I lay my cheek on Edward's back after he had picked me up and offered to give me a piggy back ride so I wouldn't have to walk. I had practically melted with thankfulness and thanked God for giving me such a caring guy.

I didn't know any guy my age who have even thought twice about me in this kind of circumstance. It made me realise that I had always needed a mature, sensitive man to look after me, not some young, adolescent who only thought with his dick.

I draped my arms loosely around his neck and buried my face into his neck.

"Need bed," I slurred out, my eyelids drooping and somewhere past the fog that was surrounding my brain I could hear Alice talking.

"I don't know why she's tired. I feel completely energised. Jazzy, why don't we go get something to eat and do some sight seeing?"

"I'll take Bella back to the hotel, "Edward murmured, "she didn't get a lot of sleep last night."

"And whose fault is that?" Alice pointed out, but I was too far gone to hear Edward's reply.

When I woke up a few hours later in bed I found that my black polka dot bikini top had fallen off, leaving me topless. I kicked at the sheets tangled in my legs and sat, reluctantly stretching my sore muscles.

"Ah, you're awake," Edward said as he entered the suite, balancing a bag and some coffee.

I hummed in acknowledgement and yawned loudly. "I'm surprised you weren't here to perv on me," I teased groggily and he rolled his eyes at me.

"Oh, the fun I have missed," he retorted sarcastically, "but seriously, are you ever going to let that go?"

I shook my head and took my latte from his outstretched hand. "Nah, I'm adding it to my teasing file. Its quite high up there with your old age, you know."

He groaned, "Must you bring my age into this. Its not like I'm not constantly reminded about that, especially with my twenty-eight birthday coming up. I'm just lucky to have a girlfriend who is nice and young with perky breasts and a nice ass."

"Way to look beneath the surface," I quipped at him and placed my coffee on the bed side table. He shrugged and waved his hand in a blase movement, his face filled with mock seriousness.

"Looking beneath any surface is totally overrated."

"Totally, huh? Being young and hip isn't going to keep the grey hairs away," I teased and he groaned before jumping on top of me, causing a squeal to escape. His fingers dug into my sides, tickling me as I begged for him to show me some mercy.

I found it funny that seven months ago, giggling and just letting loose was something that didn't appeal to me. I had never been a girly girl and I hoped never to be that. But Edward had shown me that having fun and being feminine wasn't actually a bad thing.

Letting my emotions out was becoming part of the new me and I liked be able to talk to someone about every little, stupid and mundane thought that went through my head without having to sensor.

Yeah, we made fun of each other and didn't always take one another seriously, but I liked to think that it helped balance us out.

"Uncle! Uncle!" I screeched breathlessly while he just laughed evilly, enjoying the torture he was bestowing upon me. "I swear...if you don't stop...I'll pee myself," I warned and he finally stopped, falling onto the bed beside me as he chuckled quietly.

I groaned as my phone rang and rolled over to pick it up.

"Hello?"

_"Bella! You're meet us in the lobby. We are going out tonight."_

"Give me half an hour, okay?" I asked as I threw my legs over the side of the bed and headed towards the bathroom to shower. All my skin and hair felt grimy and I was sure there was sand in places that you won't sand in.

_"Fine, but don't even think about ditching to fuck Edward."_

"I wouldn't dream of it, Alice," I placated her as Edward came up behind me, caressing my hips and slowly pulled the strings on each side of the bottoms so that it fell to the ground. I gave him a pointed look before hanging up and stepping in the shower that Edward had switched on before coming on to me.

"I promised Alice we would meet her in half an hour," I warned him as he joined me.

"We're conserving time and water this way," he said, his grin saying a completely different story. When he saw that I was completely unwavering in my decision to skip sex, he pouted.

"At least let me wash your hair for you," he offered and I nodded.

"As long as I can do yours."

We both squirted shampoo in our respective hands and he bent down a little so that I could reach his head easier. I massaged his head, scraping against his scalp gently as I rubbed the shampoo and I hummed in gratitude as he did the same. I should have known that anything to do with Edward without clothes would end up being erotic and I wasn't too surprised when after a few moans of pleasure from each other's ministrations, our lips had fused together. My nipples were hard against his chest as he tilted his head to the side and pulled my bottom lip into his mouth.

"I promised Alice," I groaned out weakly as we stepped back under the stream of the water, our bodies colliding. I closed my eyes so that the suds wouldn't go into them and Edward's hands cupped my face, his thumb rubbing circles into my cheek as we lost ourselves in the kiss.

We were brought back to reality as my phone went off on the counter, Alice no doubt checking up on us and cock blocking us at the same time.

Edward groaned and rested his forehead against mine. "Can we just ignore it?" he pleaded, already knowing my answer.

"Nope. Now get your ass out and let me shower in peace so we can actually leave this room in a timely fashion."

He let out another groan, but listened to me. He wrapped a towel around his waist and picked up the phone and his clothes as he left the bathroom.

"No Alice, I am not seducing Bella," he muttered as he disappeared through the doorway and I couldn't help but laugh as I finished washing and conditioning my hair. Once I was clean from top to bottom, I stepped out the shower, pausing to grab a towel, and pulled my hair up into a wet, sloppy bun.

I entered our room, walking past where Edward was entertaining himself with the tv and heading to the closet. I quickly slipped into my underwear and pulled on a knee length, thin, turquoise sundress with matching wedges. I pulled on a straw, wide-brimmed hat because frankly, my face was freckly enough and a white blazer incase it got cold later on.

"You ready?" I called out to Edward as I smoothed down my dress.

He glanced at me and smiled, "You look really pretty," he complemented me, "but you need to change."

I stared at him baffled before looking down at my clothes. There wasn't that much cleavage showing and it fell past my knees. "What's wrong with my clothes?" I asked confused.

"Absolutely nothing, but you're making me look like a slob." He gestured to his dark blue, Hawaiian flowered board shorts with his plain, white t-shirt and black hoodie. His face was completely serious apart the fact the edges of his mouth were twitching.

I gave him the stink eye, not finding his humor in the least bit funny.

"I can't help it if I'm dating a bum," I replied smoothly as I headed towards the door and he let out a hiss.

"Oh...harsh."

I ignored him and we rode down the elevator in silence, my body automatically leaning back into his, belaying my annoyance at his earlier jesting. When we reached the lobby, we found Alice and Jasper sitting in on of the seating areas, talking seriously, but as soon as she saw us, it was like a switch had been flicked. Her face lit up like a Christmas tree and Edward leaned close to whisper in my ear.

"Is it normal for her to be able to switch emotions so quickly?" he asked.

"You tell me, you're the doctor," I replied just before Alice threw herself at me, wrapping her arms tightly around me.

I knew it would always be something that baffled me, but I couldn't understand how she could look so cute in her colored, zebra patterned mini skirt with a white strap top and a grey vest. She had for once worn flats and even at five months her baby bump was small. I knew that I couldn't get away with that and I wondered how her self confidence was so high.

From what I had heard, pregnant woman had low sell esteem when it came to gaining baby weight, yet Alice displayed it easily.

"Me and Jazzy have such good news for you guys," she gushed and Edward and I shared a look at Jasper's nickname. I pursed my lips to stop myself from laughing to be honest, it was as bad as calling him her teddy-bear.

"Jazzy, huh?" Edward smirked at Jasper who just blushed and stared adoringly at Alice. It was actually kind of gross. I wondered if Edward and I were that sickening, but if I had to guess I would say yes.

Young love and all that.

"So what's the news?" I asked and instead of answering she thrust her hand in my face, showing me the diamond on her ring finger.

"You are fucking kidding me," I said disbelievingly, not in the least impressed.

Alice nodded exuberantly and as much as I hated to burst her bubble, it was my job as her best friend to bring her back down to earth. Edward looked about as happy at the situation as I was as he crossed his arms over his chest, unimpressed.

"Jasper, can I talk to you in private?" Edward asked evenly before turning and walking away. Jasper swallowed audibly and scrambled after him. It seemed that while the two of them had a friendship, Jasper was still frightened of Edward, something I knew Edward would use to his advantage.

I took a deep breath and wet my lips a I thought of a way to say this delicately.

"Alice, have you really thought this through?" I asked patiently, guiding her to sit down, and her face fell.

"I can make decisions, you know," she said haughtily and I refrained from letting out an exasperated sigh and hitting her round the head.

"I know you can," I placated her gently, "but you obviously accepted the proposal on a whim." She didn't argue so I knew I had assumed correctly.

"How is this supposed to work, anyway?" I asked, "I know that when your far away from Washington your problems seem to dissolve, but, Alice, Jasper is still your teacher until June and if you are really ready to trust him and give such a big commitment then you need to think about that."

Tears gathered in her eyes and she looked down at the ring.

"I was stupid to accept the proposal, wasn't I?" she whispered and I wrapped an arm around her, hugging her close. "Was it so bad that I wanted to just have a fairytale, at least for a while. Fuck, what was I even thinking? I can't marry Jasper. I mean yeah, I _do_ love him and do trust him a lot more, but even so I can't marry him. Did you see what happened to my parents? I can't go through something like that. I can't subject my child to that."

Her shoulders sagged and she started sniffled. I prayed to God to give me patience with her mood swings as she buried her face in my neck. I knew that she felt like the whole world was collapsing around her, but I had hoped from how she had been acting recently that she grown up a bit and I couldn't help but feel a little disappointed in her for doing something so implosive and reckless without thinking, yet again, about the consequences.

_Baby steps_, I reminded myself firmly, _Rome wasn't built in a day._

"Why do I always do this?" Alice asked, her voice muffled from being buried in my neck. "How can I be a good mother when I never think about how the things I do affect me and others? I'm going to be a sucky mum and my kid is going to hate me." By this point, she had started sobbing in earnest and I sighed, trying to figure out how to defuse the situation.

"If you want to feel anything for anyone, you should be angry at Jasper for proposing in the first place," I pointed out to her and was relieved when she pulled back, her brow knitted together in confusion.

"What do you mean?" she demanded, wiping her face with the tissue she had pulled out of her sack...I mean bag.

I shrugged. "Well, you wouldn't be feeling like this if Jasper hadn't proposed to you in the first place. Are you sure you're making the right decision by being with him?" I asked, concerned, but her focus had already been diverted to the first half of my words.

"That stupid, lying, son of a bitch!" she spat out, looking like she wanted to strangle him. "He's using my stupid hormones to his advantage so he can get me to do whatever he wants. I told him to give me space and he proposed to me! I am going to kill him."

Unfortunately - for Jasper anyway - he can round the corner just then and Alice flew out of her seat, hissing and slapping at him at him while he tried to apologize.

"How are those two going to cope with a kid?" I looked to my right to see that Edward had sidled up to me and was standing there, shaking his head.

"I really don't want to know," I muttered. "I'm not sure which of them is worse."

Jasper had his arms covering his head as Alice had started using her bag as a weapon. That made me cringe because I knew just how much she brought in that thing and lets just say that not all of it was very soft.

"Jasper's heart was in the right place, but he was still an idiot to do what he did," Edward supplied, not quite defending Jasper, but not burying him either.

"How did the two of you become friends anyway?" I asked, "A few weeks ago, you hated his guts."

Edward shrugged, "He came over that day you were at Alice's appointment and he explained some things to me. It seems - as much as I hate to admit it - we are more alike than I thought. He freaked out, plain and simple and like me he tried to push her away like I did to you. Their situation was bigger than ours, since she was pregnant and he had a girlfriend, but its safe to say that him freaking out mixed with her hormones created a huge mess, which he is trying - rather badly - to rectify. I'm just thankful that you managed to knock some sense into me before I ruined any potential relationship."

I smiled up at him. "You're welcome, but I did it more for me than for you."

He raised an eyebrow imploringly and I continued.

"We both know that the shit that happened to me as a kid, the shit that took away my childhood, still affects me today. My self esteem and self confidence was practically nonexistent before I seduced you and the only reason I did it was because I knew that you felt at least a little of what I felt for you. I actually think it was fate that made me walk in on you in the shower because without that, we would not be here. Anyway, once I had you I couldn't let you go because I knew it was the kind of blow that I wouldn't recover from."

I let out a breath and peered up at him; talking about this wasn't exactly easy for me.

"I was just shy of depressed on the bad days and knowing that you had lied when you said that you had loved me would have sent me over the brink. I needed you to want me, to love me, before I could start loving myself. I know that sounds stupid and like I'm dependent on you, but you were my starting point, my diving board. Once I took that leap, I started pushing myself to be the woman I could be and you were there every step of the way, encouraging me and pushing me to reach my full potential when I felt like I couldn't."

He pulled me to him, placing his hands on my hips from behind and resting his chin on my shoulder.

"You really don't give yourself enough credit. You helped me too, you know. Without you, I would have turned into some old bachelor who lived behind the facade of what I thought was happiness. You opened my eyes to what could be and I realized that I had never taken a chance on anything in my life, it had all just come along when I needed it. You are the best chance I ever took and I don't regret sleeping with you on your birthday. I do regret how I reacted to it and I regret making you feel like you were less than you actually were because the truth is, you're so much better than me and I don't deserve you."

I opened my mouth to protest but he kept on talking.

"My mind tells me to let you go and find someone who will deserve you, but you what my heart says? It says that no one will deserve you and that I should spend everyday making sure that you don't regret taking a chance on a schmuck like me."

I felt tears gathering in my eyes and I turned around and cupped his face.

"You know what? I don't deserve you either so why don't we go and be undeserving together."

He chuckled. "That was a little cheesy."

I shrugged. "Meh. Admit that you loved it."

He brushed his nose against mine. "I love _you_ so I guess that I have to the love the cheese that comes with it."

"Like you don't have cheese of your own," I teased and he smiled.

"My cheese is cooked and melted to perfection."

I laughed through my groan and looked over to where security was trying to restrain Alice while Jasper was curled up in a ball on the floor.

"Should we go and help them?" I asked and he shook his head.

"Nah, that's something they're going to have to work out themselves. They have to learn to stand on their own two feet."

"Why don't we go upstairs so you can melt my cheese?" I suggested, waggling my eyebrows while he laughed at the cheesiness of what I had said. Even I had to admit that it was a lame way for suggesting sex. He shook his head as he pulled back and slapped my on the ass.

"That was bad, really bad. I'm not sure it even made any sense, but I'm going to let it slide this once because I'm a horny bastard and I want you spread and naked on our bed, or against the wall, I'm not that picky. Maybe we can use those handcuffs again, that was fun last time..."

**AN: I can totally see Alice beating up Jasper in the background while Edward and Bella get all deep. Review!**


	35. Only By The Night

**AN: I listened to Kings Of Leon's Only By The Night album while I wrote this. WARNING: This chapter contains some serious kink, so if exhibition isn't your thing then I would advise you to skip this chapter. Everything done is consensual.**

Only By The Night

His hands moved up from my hips, over my stomach, and past my sides before sliding back down as we moved together along with the music. I could feel his hot breath on my neck as the bass vibrated through my body and I snaked a hand behind me, sliding it up his neck, and threaded it through his hair.

My eyes were closed but I could feel how he mirrored every twist and gyrating of my body, his movement completely choreographed with mine.

I pulled myself back flush against him and tugged his head down so that I could whisper into it.

We had all decided that spending another evening listening to Alice and Jasper go back and forth was a sure way to get a headache and that going out was the right solution. We had gone to a club not too far from the hotel that was eighteen and up.

Strangely enough - I'm being sarcastic here - it didn't take long for Alice and Jasper to go back to the hotel where they could argue and then make up in peace...just like they had been doing on and off since Alice was nearly arrested and almost thrown out of the hotel.

Edward and I had decided to stay for a while longer and after stealing a few of Edward's drinks while he wasn't looking, I was feeling a lot less inhibited than usual.

"I don't want us to be Edward and Bella tonight," I whispered, butterfly's fluttering around my stomach as my shallow breaths revealed my arousal and excitement. I wetted my parted lips, moistening the suddenly dry skin.

"I want...I want you to dominate me...I want you to control and command me."

His hands tightened slightly on my hips, his fingers flexing and digging into the rough fabric of my jeans as a low groan rumbled through his chest.

He spun me round in his arms, his hands slipping around and cupping my ass as he pulled me against his awakening arousal. His face looked predatory in the flashing lights, the colors spinning and dancing over his pale skin. He tilted his head to the side, ducking it down so that he could trail kisses up my neck to my ear.

He rolled my lobe between his teeth as he sucked on it, enveloping my ear in wet heat.

"Is this what you want?" he whispered breathily and I shivered in his arms, my skin flushed and my body pulsing. I let out a small whimper and nodded. He spun me back around and slid a hand under the front of my top, his hot skin meeting mine. I gasped and he dipped his hand under the waistband of my jeans, tracing my pelvic bone.

"So...if I wanted to fuck you with my fingers, right here where anyone could see, you would let me?" he asked as I squirmed, his teasing causing goosebumps to pop up all over my skin and my nipples to harden. I cursed the fact that I hadn't worn a bra, but as much as I hated the girls bouncing all over the place, this top made it impossible to wear one since the back was practically non existent.

"You like that, don't you?" he murmured seductively, skimming his free hand up my side, brushing over the edge of my breast. "You like giving all the control to me so that I can do whatever I want to you. It makes you wet, doesn't it?"

His hand dipped down a little further, brushing the curls at the top of my pussy, causing me to buck into his hand as wetness trickled into my panties.

"Please," I begged as my eyes darted around the room to see if anyone had noticed, but they were too involved with their own seductive foreplay to care.

I held my breath as his fingers rubbed over my slippery folds before parting them and slipping his fingers into my pussy. I let my head fall back on his shoulder, my eyelids fluttering open and closed as small pants escaped my parted lips.

"You're such a bad, dirty girl getting turned on like this. Do you like knowing that someone could be watching you come undone on my fingers, that someone could be getting off on seeing my hand disappear into your jeans, knowing exactly what my fingers are doing?"

I could feel sweat running down my neck as he rubbed my clit, making tight circles around it and I was hit with the surprising notion that, yes, I kind of did like that.

I whimpered as he withdrew his hand, leaving me wet with my clit throbbing for release. I could hear his suck on his fingers and I turned to see his tongue swirling around them in his mouth. He withrew his hand, his lips parted and his eyes hooded, and my arousal speared up to new peaks.

Never had I felt such heights of sexual tension running through me and I knew that I wouldn't be cable of controlling myself in any way. I was willing to do just about anything if it meant that the ache curling and tightening in my stomach would be relieved.

"You know what my biggest, dirtiest fantasy is?" he asked, his breath tickling my ear and his hands sliding over my body, brushing over the sides of my breasts. I shook my head and rubbed my thighs together, unsuccessfully trying to diffuse my arousal and stop my pussy from leaking down to my thighs.

"I've always wanted to fuck someone in a public place."

My breath hitched and my whole body froze as two part of my mind fought. One side - already delirious and drowning in lust - was already dragging him into some deserted closet, while the other - more responsible - side warned me that getting arrested for public indecent exposure would not look good on my college application.

I could see in his eyes that he had let the lust and alcohol surrounding us take over his senses, making him unafraid to ask or do anything that he might otherwise never do.

He tugged me closer to him, guiding my hand down his chest to the bulge in the front of his pants and placing my hand right on it. He squeezed my hand around it and groaned.

"Will you let me? Fuck, please tell me that you'll let me," he practically begged, rubbing my hand over his cock.

Never had I seen Edward so free and unhinged like this. His eyes were wild and everything about his demenor and actions told me that he wanted this...alot.

"Okay," I whispered, my voice barely recognizable, even to my own ears. It was like the responsible side of my brain had shut down and let the more reckless side take over for the night.

He pulled me along behind him as he exited the dance floor and ducked down into a dark hallway. My heart hammered furiously as I tried to catch up with what was going around me. It was like I had checked out of reality and had entered a dream land.

Edward dropped my hand and dissapeared into the room across the hall before poking his head out a minute later. "Its clear," he told me and tugged me into the room. I barely had enough time to register that we were in the men's bathroom before he had me slammed up against the wall, his mouth attacking mine relentlessly.

"Are you sure about this? Because as soon as I start I won't be able to stop," he said once he pulled back for air, his face completely serious. I nodded slowly, my teeth chewing on my bottom lip, both excited and scared.

I had read so many scenes in books about women who had sex in bathroom - either with a complete stranger or their boyfriend - but it had always seemed like something fiction, some far fetched scenario saved for when you're horny and alone. Its nice to read about, but would you actually be able to actually do it if the occasion arose? Would you be able to put all those insecurities and shut your mind off long enough to do it?

Edward pushed me into a stall, locking the door behind him before his lips went back to mine, his tongue immediately seeking out mine. His hands tugged the straps of my top down before moving the flimsy fabric aside to free my breasts. He palmed my breast roughly, his fingers tweaking at my swollen nipples.

"Edward..." I moaned into his mouth before he turned me around so that I was no longer facing him and bent me over so that I placed my hands on the back of the toilet.

I gasped, feeling the contrast of the cool prickling against my over heated skin. His hands snaked around my waist, flicking open the button of my jeans and pulling them - along with my panties - down my thighs.

My mind was a whirlwind of lust, too clouded to even think. I heard the clinking of his belt as he undid and released himself from his own jeans. The crinkle of the condom wrapper sounded loud in my ears and I couldn't quite wrap my mind around what exactly we were doing.

I jumped slightly as I felt his tongue lave over the small of my back, tracing my tattoo, before dragging it along the line of my spine. I shivered and let my eyes close. My legs shook in anticipation at what was to come and he held me up by my hips as he kicked them further apart.

"Are you ready?" he asked and I opened my mouth to respond but he was already at my entrance, pushing the tip inside me.

"Yes," I moaned and instead of entering me further he pulled back.

"Yes, what?" he asked with a slight edge to his voice, the head of his cock rubbing between my folds, teasing the answer out of me.

"Yes, Sir," I whimpered and he plunged himself into me in one, smooth thrust. I could hardly control the strangled groan that left me as I curled my hands into fists and gave myself over to the sensations he was envoking in me.

He pulled almost all the way out before ramming himself back into me. There was nothing soft or sweet about what we were doing, it was rough, hard fucking.

We were reduced to grunts and groans as he fucked me from behind, each thrust more powerful than the last. My thighs quivered as my wetness started seeping out of my pussy and dripped down them.

I let out a mewl of pleasure as his thrust hit me just right and arched further into him.

"Shh," Edward hissed suddenly and clamped his hand over my mouth to muffle my moans. My eyes widened as I heard someone whistling as they entered the bathroom. They walked right past the stall we were in and I distinctly heard the sound of a zipper being lowered.

Edward hadn't actually stopping thrusting into me all this time, he had only slowed down and softened the force of them. I panted around his hand as my hair clung to my forehead and neck, the wet strands sticking uncomfortably to my skin.

When he had said that once he had had started he couldn't stop, I hadn't actually taken into consideration the fact that we were in a _public_ men's bathroom and that anyone could walk in at any moment.

Whoever it was that was out there, quickly relieved himself and went to wash his hands, all the while whistling, oblivious to what was going on mere feet away from him.

I held my breath and strained my ears as he walked past and then paused, his whistling coming to an abrupt stop. The silence in the room was practically deafening any eyes practically rolled back in relief as the sound of the hand dryer filtered through the room.

Edward twisted his hips expertly and my eyes widened, a loud moan ready to escape me. My mouth opened on its own accord and I quickly clamped my teeth down on Edward's hand.

His hips bucked in surprise and he pulled my hips back on him as he let out a loud grunt. We both stilled, listening to see if we had been discovered, but thankfully the sound of the dryer had drowned us out and I heard his footsteps fade and the door close behind him.

I could barely hear anything over the sound of my blood pumping furiously through my veins. My muscles spasmed and clenched around his cock, the whole situation becoming too much for me and making me reach my peak a lot sooner than usual.

"Come for me," he hissed, letting his hand move from my mouth and wound it in my hair, yanking it back so that my whole body bowed and arched. My lips parted and my eyelids fluttered as small whimpers and cries left me. My body squeezed him as I came hard, every muscle locked and stilled in an effort to control myself.

I bit my tongue almost to the point of bleeding as Edward slammed the hand that had been wrapped round my hair into the wall of stall, his fingers curling around the top and turning white with strain as his own orgasm took over, trying to control him.

He cursed and spat out unintellagable words as he rode it out. We stayed still and silent for a minute, panting and breathing heavily as we tried to get our bearings straight before he pulled out of me.

I let out a long breath before pulling up my panties and jeans. I didn't say a word as I slipped past him and out of the stall, my fingers fumbling with the button of my jeans and shaking as I righted my top.

My skin felt grimy and sticky and my mind still hadn't quite checked back into reality. I walked over to the sink and splashed water over my face as if trying to wake myself up.

I looked at myself in the mirror above the sinks blankly. My hair looked like a bird was ready to land in it, my eyes were bright, my skin flushed and my lips were swollen. In essence, I looked like I had just been fucked...fucked good and hard at that.

Panic started to clench in my stomach as I tried to wrap my mind around the fact that I had just let Edward fuck me in a public bathroom. I didn't do shit like that, it just wasn't me.

Edward stepped out of the stall and we locked eyes through the mirror for a second, trying fruitlessly to read each other's expression. Edward's brows were furrowed and his hand was raking through his hair in a nervous gesture. It took me a moment to realize that the atmosphere around us was awkward.

We were both at a loss at what to do because we had both done something completely out of character.

"We should go," Edward finally murmured and I nodded in agreement and let him lead the way out of there. My mind went over the events that had just happened, looking at it from every angle, trying to decipher it.

Edward guided me, his hand hovering over my back, through the crowds of people and out into the street. The cool air hit my skin as the panic started to really set in. I started to walk quickly toward where we had parked the car, my whole mind in turmoil.

"Bella, will you talk to me?" Edward pleaded as he jogged to keep up with me and I realized that he had been talking to me for a while.

I shook my head and wrapped my arms around my stomach. "I can't, because if I do I'm going to have a full on panic attack. Fuck! Edward, what were we thinking? We don't do shit like that." I ran a hand through my hair, tugging at it hard while he stayed silent.

I turne to face him abruptly, not caring that we were in the middle of the sidewalk and that I wasn't exactly using my inside voice.

"Edward, I just let you fuck me in a bathroom stall! How the fuck can you be so calm about this?"

He closed his eyes, pinched the bridge of his nose and took a deep breath. "I am not fucking calm," he ground out quietly, "and you are doing enough panicking for the both of us. One of us has to at least hold onto some kind of rationality."

"Of course I'm panicking!" I screeched at him and started pacing back and forth across the sidewalk. "I am not that kind of girl, Edward. This may be okay for you, but doing what we did makes me slutty. I don't let guys fuck me public, okay? I'm just not kind of girl..." I trailed off, getting upset now and rubbed a hand over my face as my head pounded.

"I'm not just some random guy, Bella, and yeah, maybe fucking you in a bathroom stall wasn't one of my finest moments, but if its anyone's fault its mine. This doesn't make you a slut, okay? You are Isabella Cullen, my girlfriend, and that's it."

I stumbled in my pumps and cursed before kicking them off and picking them up, not caring in the least that I was standing barefoot on the dirty sidewalk.

He gathered me in his arms, drawing me against his sweaty chest. I listened to his heartbeat and I relaxed into him, letting myself calm down a little.

"Am I overreacting?" I asked softly against his chests as I inhaled his scent deeply.

"No," he murmured, "I'm kind of freaking out too. I guess I figured you would stop me before I let it go too far and when you said yes, it was like my brain switched off and all I could think about was having you right there and then. It wasn't our best idea, but I can't really bring myself to regret it. Do you?"

I looked up at him and sighed when I saw how vulnerable and guilty he looked. "No, I could never regret having sex with you no matter how inappropriate it was. Why don't we just label this as one of those one off times that got out of control and just not bring it up again?"

"If that's what you want," he soothed.

"Did you enjoy it?" I asked hesitantly. "I mean, it was your biggest fantasy."

He seemed conflicted by the question. "I'm not quite sure how to answer that question," he admitted.

"Just be honest," I told him as what we had done sank fully into my brain and my more rational side informed me that it was already a thing of the past and that, maybe, it wasn't as bad as I thought it was.

Sure, I did something I thought I would never do, but it had happened and I couldn't take it back and I wasn't sure I wanted to. It had been hot and completely out of character and I kind of liked Edward losing control with me. I had never taken myself for an exhibitionist though.

"Truthfully...yes, I enjoyed it. It was so hot when we were in the moment and I was pounding into you. It was dirty and had an edge of danger and I can't deny I didn't like that, that it didn't turn me on beyond belief..."

"Why do I feel like a 'but' is coming?" I asked and he sighed.

"..._but_ it wasn't worth making you panic and think less of yourself. I'll treasure the memory but I don't think we'll ever do that again."

"Never?" I asked, feeling guilty for making his fantasy less than it could have been.

He raised his eyebrows at me. "I thought we decided to label this as a one-off thing."

"Well, yeah, but never is a long time. Maybe one day in the very distant future we'll do something like that again. I kind of...maybe enjoyed it to a certain extent," I admitted a little reluctantly and Edward seemed a little too smug by my admission.

"I'm just that good," he boasted as we started walking again and I rolled my eyes and barely refrained from elbowing him in the gut.

"Put a sock in it, Cassanova," I grumbled and he just laughed.

"There are a few things I would like to put it in, but a sock isn't one of those things." He looked rather pleased with his comeback.

"Smooth and classy," I quipped, noticing that we had reached the car. I was reaching for the passenger car door when Edward stopped me.

"So we're good?" He asked imploringly.

"We were never bad," I responded and gave him a chaste kiss on the lips.

**AN: Whew! Is it hot in here or is it just me? Bella freaking out was a completely normal reaction for her becuase as she said she isn't '_that'_ kind of girl - whatever that means. Face it and embrace it, I say. Anywho, review peeps!**


	36. The Morning After

**AN: Thanks to Washingtonian for giving me the inspiration for this chapter that I needed. Thanks to dirtypillowtalk for beta'ing this**

The Morning After.

"Bella," Edward murmured softly in my ear. I groaned in annoyance and rolled over, snuggling further under the sheets.

"Baby girl, it's time to get up," he pressed, tugging the sheets down.

I let out a pitiful whine. "Don't wanna."

He sighed loudly, pulling the sheets completely off, and pulled me toward his chest. I buried my head in his chest, tucking myself against him. "Bella, if we want to get home before midnight, we need to get up."

I huffed, slowly forcing my eyelids open. The term 'home' was a bit of a stretch in my opinion. Homes were meant to be inviting and happy, friendly neighbors ready to greet you to say how much they missed you. That was so not going to happen. I'd be lucky to be received with a smile let alone a few words. It turns out that fucking your ex-guardian isn't really okay by society's standards. Shocking, I know.

I stretched, wincing at how sore I felt. After coming back to the hotel after our little escapade in the club bathroom, I had been too hyped up to even contemplate sleeping so I had set about making up for my little freak out.

We had spent the night-and the better part of the early morning-having sex. Sometimes it would be slow; sometimes it would be fast and hard, but fuck if my muscles weren't sore.

I was also exhausted and with the memories of last night running through my head, just a little bit horny.

I pulled my head from his neck and tugged on his hair, making him dip his head down. I sleepily pressed my lips to his, kissing him softly before pushing him to lie on his back. I straddled his body, my kisses getting hungrier as I woke, and threaded my fingers through his hair.

"Fuck!" he hissed as I bit down on his lower lip, his hands squeezing and fondling my ass.

"Again, baby?" he asked almost incredulously as my hands trailed down his chest to his cock, stroking him until he hardened. "You're going to make my cock chaff if you're not careful," he grumbled halfheartedly as I reached down to palm his balls.

I didn't know what it was about last night, but ever since our bathroom escapade I had been feeling insatiable. Maybe it was the fact that seeing Edward so unhinged and wild had snapped something inside me, bringing out my vixen. I honestly didn't know for sure why I was acting this way, but fuck I wanted him.

I positioned myself over him, knowing that I was already wet, and slowly sunk down on him. "Ugh, Edward," I moaned loudly, my eyelids fluttering shut as he filled me to the hilt. My walls spasmed around him, the sore muscles clutching at him like a life line.

My hands slid back up his chest, my nails scraping against his nipples on the way using his shoulders as leverage.

"You feel so good, baby," Edward grunted as I started moving over him, rocking on his cock while he thrust up into me. His hands latched onto my breasts, his thumbs sliding over my nipples as I threw my head back in pleasure.

I squealed in surprise as he rolled us over, making me lie underneath him as he pressed his hips flush to mine, our pelvises slapping together with each thrust. He pulled my hands over my head, holding me down as his lips caressed mine, his tongue invading my mouth.

"What...are you...doing...to me?" he whispered in between thrusts once he had pulled his mouth away from mine. I had half a mind to ask him the same question because before last night there had not been this overpowering sense of insatiability that begged me to have inside me as much as possible.

I may have been eighteen, but this need for him was draining, and my poor body wanted a rest which I would not allow it to have.

His hands moved down my arms, over my shoulders, and down my sides before moving underneath me. He cupped my ass, pulling my body further into his as my legs wrapped tightly around his slim hips.

"You want this...don't you?" he groaned out, changing the angle of his hips to hit deeper inside of me. I bit down hard on my bottom lip, throwing my head back on the pillows as my chest heaved.

"Yes," I mewled, loving the feel of every line of his body flexing and moving against mine. My feet dug into his ass as I tried to bring him as close as humanly possible. My hair clung to my flushed skin, and sweat formed a thin layer of perspiration on my body.

My hands scraped down his back as my hips bucked up to meet every thrust that he gave me. Pleasure flowed through me, burning my skin and coiling in my stomach.

I could hear his harsh breaths in my ear and feel his hair tickling the side of my head, each grunt he emitted sending me closer to the edge. I drew his lips back to mine, wanting to feel the softness of them molding against my own lips.

No more words were shared between us as we let our bodies do the talking. We were sharing, giving, repenting with our bodies, saying what we cannot with our months, soothing any insecurities lying beneath the surface.

Our tongues tangled together, twisting and swirling around each other, unrelentingly.

My breath stuttered as my thighs quivered, and I tightened them around his hips, knowing that I was close. I knew that he could feel my walls trembling around him, and I mewled in pleasure as his hand dipped down between us and rubbed circles into my clit.

"Cum for me, baby girl. Let me feel you," he murmured softly, resting his forehead against mine. His gaze was intense as it stared directly into my eyes, and I fought hard to keep my own eyes open as they fluttered. The pleasure was mounting higher and higher until my body seized up, my pussy clamped down hard around him, grasping his cock tightly in its grip as if it never waned to let go.

He groaned loudly, his hands curling into fists, clutching the sheets on either side of me as he strained for control. I shattered around him, breathing out his name in a mantra, and it didn't take long for him to follow.

We lay in an exhausted heap once we had come down from our respective orgasms, him still on top of him. I refused to let him move an inch since he was still hard inside me. I almost whimpered when he softened, slipping out of my body, before rolling off me and onto his back with a groan.

"I need a shower," he mumbled, raking a hand through his hair. I just hummed in response, too buzzed to really care. I watched as he stumbled to his feet, arching his back as he stretched, before padding toward the bathroom.

He paused in the doorway, looking over his shoulder at me. "Wanna join?" he asked, one eyebrow raised in invitation.

I shook my head and yawned, pulling the sheets up to cover my body. "We both know that we won't simply shower, and I'm too tired and sore for another round."

He looked like he almost wanted to pout, but he just nodded and disappeared through the door.

I slumped back against the bed, wondering if I could get away with taking a quick nap while he showered since it would take a good ten minutes.

Sadly, my hopes were shredded when my phone went off, and I scrambled out of bed, searching through our hazardously discarded clothes from the night before until I found my phone.

Seeing that it was Alice calling, I shuffled back into bed, wrapping myself tightly in the sheets before taking a long, calming breath.

"Hey, Alice, what's up?" I queried, hoping that she was in a good mood this morning. Call me selfish, but with my level of self-inflicted sleep deprivation I would probably snap.

I held back a groan as I was answered with a sniffle. "Have you and Edward left yet?" she asked quietly, avoiding my question. I rubbed a hand over my face to try and wake myself up a little more before I pulled my hair out of my face and tucked some stray strands behind my ears.

"Umm, no, not yet. Why?"

She let out a long breath.

"Me and Jazz fought...again, and I-I can't do it anymore. I can't be with him when he refuses to see any sort of logic. He's convinced that we can make it work while he's still my teacher. He's so fucking stubborn, and it was a mistake to sleep with him in the first place. I don't want my child growing up without a father, but until Jasper can get his head out of his ass, and actually start acting like a grown up, I feel like I don't have any other choice."

I listened to her rant on, my head pounding slightly, uhmming and ahhing in the right places while she got it all off her chest.

"Alice," I said, finally interrupting her spiel about how irresponsible Jasper was. "Can you focus for minute on this question? Why do you want to know if Edward and I have left yet?"

She sighed. "I need to hitch a ride. I promise I'll be good, and we can listen to Edward's emo music, but I can't stand another moment with_ him._" She practically growled out the last word.

"Alice," I said, trying to keep the whine out of my voice, but failing somewhat. It wasn't that I didn't want her to tag along, it was just wherever Alice was; drama seemed to follow.

"Please, Bella. You don't have to take me all the way. I just need to get to Seattle. I can't stay in Forks any longer, and I talked to my dad, and he wants me to come live with him. I'll finish high school online, and then who knows what I'll do, but I need a clean break from all this drama surrounding my life."

Now I felt like a shitty friend. Here she was, going through a crisis, and I was whining about her drama.

"Okay," I finally murmured. "I doubt Edward will be happy about it, but I'll tell him to suck it up. You're my best friend, Alice, and no matter what I should be there for you."

"Thank you, Bella. You don't know how much this means to me."

My eyes darted up as the bathroom door opened and Edward walked out, a towel slung low around his hips.

"I have to go shower, Alice. We'll be down by the car in an hour tops, okay?"

"Yes, I've nearly finished packing anyway."

"Okay, see you then. Bye."

I barely waited long enough for her to say goodbye before disconnecting the call, wanting to wash the grime from our activities off my skin.

"Alice is joining us on the ride back," I informed Edward over my shoulder as I walked into the bathroom, heading straight for the shower.

Edward groaned. "Does she have to?" he whined as I switched the shower on, letting the hot water crash down against my skin.

"Yes. Now, stop being a baby and get dressed. I told her we'd be down in an hour tops," I said decisively.

"Fine," he grumbled," but if she tries to play some bubble gum girly pop music, I'll throw her out the car myself."

"Okay, old man, no need to get out your walking stick," I teased him.

"You're still not funny," he called from the bedroom as I rubbed shampoo into my hair and laughed.

"Oh, but I am, my beautiful boyfriend," I responded.

He walked back into the bathroom wearing only his boxers, and yanked open the door of the shower. He tugged me to him and pressed his mouth to mine in a long, passionate kiss.

"You should be glad I love you because you are mildly irritating," he murmured.

"You love me for it," I replied, smiling widely at him.

"I love you," he corrected, and I shrugged.

"If you can't love me for the bad parts, you sure as fuck can't love me for the good," I told him, pushing back out of the shower before we got carried away, and closing the shower door.

"I wouldn't have it any other way," he said from the other side of the door.

**AN: Kind of fluffy, but that's what I wanted. Sorry for it being so short, but I'm going through a case of writer's block on this story. I'm not sure when I'll update again, but hopefully it'll be soon. I'll be posting a drabble fic up soon so watch out for that. Review!**


	37. The End

**AN: Thanks for the reviews guys! I'm so sorry for leaving you guys hanging for so long.**

The End.**  
**

Things had been different ever since we had gotten back from California. The absense of Alice had forced me to buck up, and I allowed myself to walk through the halls of the school with my head held high. I think it took realizing that I was better and stronger than all these small-minded people to figure out that I didn't give a damn about what they thought of me.

There was always going to be people who would whisper behind their hands about our relationship with disapproval, and there was honestly nothing I could do to change that.

If they wanted to waste times bad-mouthing other's relationships, then fuck them.

Makenna, Alice's arch enemy, had latched onto me upon my return, and once I got past the bitchy exterior she was really nice. She was someone I could talk candidly and openly with about Edward since her situation with Charles was similar. Rumors about Alice's abrupt disappearance did surface, and I almost laughed at how accurate some of them were.

I hadn't seen as much of Edward as I would have liked since he had resigned from the hospital and was flying out to do interviews down in California. The day I got my acceptance from Berkley was one of the best days of my life. While I had originally wanted to get into Northwestern, that dream had been dashed with the rejection letter, but I was kind of glad in the end.

I had felt at home in California with the warmth and openness that had greeted me, and I could imagine me and Edward lounging on the beach and surfing on our days off. The only downfall was my freckles, but I could live with that.

Jasper had handed in his resignation at the school after having been offered a better job down in Texas. Last I heard, he was trying to convince Alice to go with him so that they could start over.

"Bella, are you ready?" Makenna asked, leaning closer to the mirror as she applied a coating of lip gloss on her lips. We were in the girl's bathroom at school, preparing for graduation.

"I guess," I murmured, pulling a face at the yellow gowns and caps we were forced to wear. "Couldn't the school colors be a little more...ya know."

She sighed. "I know, right. It's bad enough that they are just shapeless pieces of cloth, but add canary yellow and we are entering into new territory" she grumbled, smacking her lips together before slipping her lip gloss back into her bag.

"Is Chuck coming?" I asked, tucking some stray hairs behind my ear.

She nodded with a grin. "Yep. Thanks to you, he's wrapped around my little finger begging for me to forgive him. I think I'll put him out of his misery tonight...if you know what I'm talking about." She wiggled her eyebrows at me, and I couldn't help but laugh.

"Maybe orgasm will make you a little less of a bitch," I teased.

She clutched her heart, pretending to look offended. "I'm hurt, Swan. My feminine sensibilities have been shaken."

I snickered and turned away from the mirror. "Alright, Scarlet, let's get this over with," I told her.

"That's what she said," she muttered back, but followed me out of the bathroom's and into the gym.

Crowds of people were milling around, picking seats and chatting as we moved into a line in alphabetical order. I craned my neck to try and see Edward, but his familiar head of hair evaded me.

Once everyone was seated, the ceremony started, and we all took our turns getting up on stage and collecting our diplomas.

I finally spotted Edward when I went to collect mine. He, Jacob, Emmett, and Chuck were all sitting together in a group with Rosalie and Jake's sisters hollering and catcalling, drawing a lot of attention. I gave a shy wave and got off the makeshift stage. Eric Yorkie got up on stage since he was valedictorian, spewing shit about new beginnings and butterflies which I swore he stole from a movie.

Once the ceremony was officially over, I made a beeline for Edward, wrapping my arms around his neck and standing on tiptoes as I molded my lips to his. I didn't care that people were most probably staring at us, and by the way he drew me in closer to him, he didn't either.

"Hey, Ed, stop hogging the graduate," Emmett boomed. It had taken a while and a huge fight between him and Edward for Emmett to thaw and accept us, but as long as we kept the PDA to a minimum around him, he was fine.

I let out a squeak as Emmett pulled me into a bear hug, spinning me around. "Look at you, Little Bell, all grown up."

I rolled my eyes at him, batting his hand away as he tried to ruffle my hair, and turned to give everyone else hugs.

I was giddy, almost high, on the feeling of being free. We had already packed up the house, the "For Sale" sign sitting on the lawn. I couldn't say that I regretted closing this chapter of my life since I knew that there was a whole world out there to discover yet.

"You did good, Bella."

I spun around to see Alice standing behind me, heavily pregnant. "You're huge," I told her.

She smiled. "Yep, he's going to pop out any day now."

We shared a hug. " I thought you couldn't make it, today," I said.

She shrugged. "I decided to get my head out of my ass. You're my best friend and I should be here to support you. Plus, I've decided that once the baby is born, I'm going with Jasper to Texas. My baby deserves to have a family that isn't dysfunctional, and while that isn't something I can guarantee, he deserves to have two parents."

I smiled, thanking God for helping Alice grow up and face her responsibilities. "That's great, Ali. I'm sure everything will work out."

Edward wrapped his arms around my waist, nuzzling the skin behind my ear. "Guess who I just got off the phone with."

I looked up at him. "I have no idea. Who did you just get off the phone?"

"The lead practitioner at the private practice I interviewed at the other month. They want me."

"Oh my God, Edward, that's great!" I told him. "You're accepting the position, right?" I asked.

He nodded. "Yeah, its close to the apartment we picked out when we were down there the other week, and really family orientated. I think I'll really fit in there."

It seemed as though everything was sliding into place and I was thankful that we finally got our break. Edward looked over my head, his corners of his eyes tightened as he clenched his jaw.

I turned to see Renee standing a bit away, looking at me. I placed a hand on his chest, stopping him from moving toward her. "Let me do this," I told him, giving him a quick kiss before walking toward her.

"Renee," I acknowledged.

She gave me a curt nod. "Isabella."

"What are you doing here?" I asked.

Her eyes darted away from mine as she folded her arms across her chest, sighing. "I came to see my daughter graduate."

I snorted. "You lost the right to call me your daughter a long time ago,'" I informed her.

Her lips formed a tight line, her eyes still avoiding mine. "I was never meant to be a mother. You were a mistake that took my husband away from me."

"Bullshit," I told her. There was no way I was taking the blame for my father's death. He had died in the line of duty. "You, Renee, are a coward. I mean, you abused a helpless child. You're not just a bad mother, but you're a bad person. Leave me alone, and don't come within a mile radius of me otherwise I'll get a restraining order on you."

"No matter what happened in the past, Isabella, it doesn't change the fact that you are my daughter. Do you honestly think you can get rid of me that easily?"

I shook my head at her. "I don't give a fuck who you think you are, but my mother, Esme, died. You are nothing to me, and I refuse to let you even think for a second that you have any sort of hold on me so go back into whatever hole you crawled from and stay there. I doubt anyone is going to miss you."

With that I turned from my past, and headed toward my future with my boyfriend, away from the stifling little town of Forks, and into the world.

**THE END.**

**AN: I originally wanted to add more chapters, but writer's block really bit me in the ass. Happy Holidays all of you, and thanks for taking this journey with me. I will probably post a few outtakes so make sure you've put "Parental Guardian Outtakes" on alert.**


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